Joy: A friend of mine 'borrowed' my copy of Crown of Midnight so I 'borrowed' her hat.

Joy: And now if school's don't go back to normal next year, I'll never be able to switch the items with her.

Kelp: Is this a successful blackmail story or....

Joy: Not yet.

Joy: But like.....

Joy: I know where she lives, so if it comes down to it, I will break into her house and take my book back.

Seashell: That seems a little harsh.

Nightflyer: Last time I lent a book to someone, I put a list of rules in the front cover, made them sign a contract saying they wouldn't be one of those monsters who folds the corners for a bookmark, and gave them a time limit to get it back to me, then ripped it out of their hands when they didn't mean the limit and have never lent them a book since.

Air: This is why people don't lend people books lightly.

Rainkeeper: RIP my copy of Darkstalker Legends, wherever that ended up....

*players appear*

Amber: I'm here, Carnelian's queer, GET USED TO IT!

Carnelian: I AM NOT.

Amber: You have two wives.

Carnelian: That don't mean I'm que- wait, TWO???

Kelp: Oh yeah, in case you guys forgot, some of you are still married.

Rainkeeper: *flips through notecards* Like Amber and Carnelian, Carnelian and Ruby, Turtle and Kinkajou-

Kinkajou: HAPPILY! *kisses Turtle*

Rainkeeper: Qibli and Winter-

Winter: I DID NOT CONSENT

Qibli: *plays the wedding march on a kazoo and throws rice at Winter*

Rainkeeper: Winter and Blister-

Winter:............

Qibli:............

Winter: Does this mean I inherit her army-

Qibli: WHERE ARE THE DIVORCE PAPERS?!!?!?

Rainkeeper: Tsunami and Riptide and I seriously think Tsunami is also still married to Dune, but we killed him immediately afterwards, so it's unclear.

Riptide: Oh yeaaah, I forgot we got married.

Tsunami: That was a traumatizing day that ended surprisingly well.

Riptide: It really was.

Glory: How they have never married us, I don't know.

Deathbringer: Oh that's easy, it's because I can't be tied down to just one dragon.

Glory: 5....4....

Deathbringer: exCEPT FOR YOU, DEAREST- DARLING- MOST WONDERFUL LOVE OF MY LIFE-

Fatespeaker: Starflight, why don't we get married!

Starflight: Uh-

Fatespeaker: Why not? We could do it on Friday and-

Starflight: Can't. I most definitely have plans then.

Sunny: Hey Starflight, you free on Friday?

Starflight: YES.

Sunny: What about you, Fatespeaker?

Fatespeaker: Of course.

Sunny: Great! Cause I'm not. Enjoy your date, guys!

Starflight:.........

Starflight: I hate you so much right now-

Clay: Peril and I had a date last friday.

Winter: Last Friday night....

Peril: It was absolutely lovely. Dinner at the Ritz. He proposed at the end of it. The wedding will be in Tadfield-

Kelp: Was-

Kelp: Was that a Good Omens meme quote I sense.

PEril: Maybe.

Kelp: OH MY MOONS, WE ARE GOOD OMENS TRASH.

Air: BOUGHT THE SCRIPT BOOK TODAY AND FINISHED THE ACTUAL NOVEL.

Nightflyer: EVEN DREW CROWLEY FANART

Air: NIGHTFLYER, TELL ME WE'LL RUN OFF TO ALPHA CENTAURI TOGETHER.

Nightflyer: I don't think that's physically possible but HELL YEAH, LET'S GO.

Kelp: All I keep seeing is lines about how Crowley HATES the fourteen century, and every time, ALL I can think of is- What fight did he get in with Aziraphale then because WHOAH.

Rainkeeper: Michael Sheen is a god.

Joy: No, that's Mr. Wednesday.

Turtle: *long suffering sigh*

Winter: I hate it when they rant about stuff we don't get.

Carnelian *starts singing* IIIIIIIF YOU WANT TO GET THE DARE OVER WITH, CLAP YOUR HANDS!

All: *claps hands*

Winter: IIIIF YOU THINK THE HOSTS SHOULD SHUT UP, CLAP YOUR HANDS! *claps*

Everyone else: *doesn't clap out of fear*

Joy: Awww, they're terrified!

Seashell: And sorry to disappoint, but we're actually going to be covering truths today!

Riptide: Oh thank the moons, those are usually easy.

Nightflyer: So! Peril! What would you do for a job if you didn't have firescales?

Peril:........

Peril: Honestly probably the same thing I did. Fight and guard stuff. Hopefully I'd just have more friends and be able to read better.

Starflight: I will teach you to read when YOU CAN'T BURN DOWN MY LIBRARY.

Air: Sunny, what were your first thoughts when you met Thorn?

Sunny: Very first? Uh.

Sunny: This is the dragon that's going to kill me.

Sunny: This is the dragon that wants Dune and Morrowseer dead? Why?

Sunny: She's pretty. Also pretty young to be the one who wants to kill me.

Sunny: Okay, she's small yet super powerful and terrifying. How do I do THAT?

Sunny: And then I found out she was my mom and wanted to cry happy tears. She's amazing, I love her.

Kelp: We all do, Sunny. We all do.

Joy: Riptide, who would you date in this game if Tsunami wasn't an option?

Riptide:.........Do I have to factor in other relationships?

Rainkeeper: Nope. But you do have to factor in the rage of their boyfriend/girlfriends when you choose.

Riptide:......I'd say Sunny. Sunny's cool.

Glory: Wise decision.

Clay: *cracks knuckles*

Meerkat: HEY!!

Fatespeaker: *jumps*

Fatespeaker: OH THREE MOONS, I FORGOT YOU WERE HERE.

Fatespeaker: Wait.......

Fatespeaker: YES. I'M FINALLY NOT THE MOST FORGOTTEN CHARACTER ANYMORE!

Carnelian: HELL YEAH! *high fives her*

Meerkat:.......Great. RIPTIDE STAY AWAY FROM MY GIRLFRIEND.

Clay: Who let him in here? I don't like him here.

Sunny: CLAY I HAVE A BOYFRIEND AND WE'RE THE SAME AGE SO I'M NOT TOO YOUNG TO HAVE ONE SO GET OVER IT.

Clay: *pouts*

Tsunami: Does it ever just randomly hit anyone else that like, there's only three years between us and Moon?

Moon: Wait really?

Moon: Oh my moons, really.

Starflight: Wait that's creepy.

Rainkeeper: Fatespeaker-

Fatespeaker: *gasps* AND I GOT A QUESTION ASKED? FOR ME!?!?!? BOO-YA! THINGS ARE GOING RIGHT FOR FATESPEAKER, BOOK 3 ROCKS!

Rainkeeper:........how does it feel to be the only Nightingale with a natural bracelet?

Fatespeaker: I have NO idea what that means, but IT FEELS GREAT!

Kelp: A Nightingale sang in Barkley Square.

Joy: No one heard it over the traffic of course, but it was there.

Air: Deathbringer, were there any other Nightwings you had feelings for at all besides your mother?

Deathbringer: Hm, let me seeeeeeee uhhhhhh No.

Air: NONE?

Deathbringer: Nope.

Air: But-

Deathbringer: I was asked to pick between being left on the island, or going with my mother. I killed a dragon from my own ftribe without hesitation for that. When I finally went back there, they locked me up for helping Glory escape, and left me to die a horrible fiery death. And now I'm dating the Queen they hate. I don't talk to the other Nightwings. I don't care.

Air:........Fair enough.

Seashell: Okay, us hosts have to answer this one too. Who's your favorite dragonet? You HAVE to pick ONE. Clay, you first.

Clay: Uh-

Air: *smiles and looks extra sweet and innocent*

Clay: Yeah. Air.

Peril: Air.

Tsunami:..........Pass.

Kelp: YOU MUST CHOOS-

Riptide: Seashell.

Kelp: WHAT!

Seashell: HA!

Riptide: *shrugs* 

Tsunami: Kelp.

Kelp: No no. You can't pick just cause he picked Seashell.

Tsunami: I'm not, I like you better.

Kelp: Oh.

Kelp: Okay, then sweet.

Starflight: Firefly, cause she LIKES SCROLLS.

Nightflyer: I accept that.

Fatespeaker: Nightflyer BECAUSE HE LIKES ME.

Nightflyer: Yay, I'm a favorite.

Sunny: Beetle.

Meerkat: Who's Beetle? Who's are any of these dragons?

Sunny: *pats him on the head* You'll see.

Moon: Obviously Stardust, he;s my only child.

Moon:........Right?

Joy: Right.

Qibli: Stardust.

Winter: He's my son-

Qibli: HE'S MY SON.

Winter: Question- does it have to be MY child?

Moon: WINTER.

Winter: Fine! Fine. Stardust.

Winter:........But I mean, I've heard good things about Bumblebee so-

Qibli/Moon: WINTER!

Kinkajou: Aspen.

Turtle: Aspen.

Carnelian: He may only be my step son but CLIFF IS MORE ADORABLE THAN ANY OF YOUR CHILDREN.

Amber: I second that, as I have no children.

Amber: Livin the DINK life with my various boyfriends.

Seashell: Stream is my favorite and only child, duh.

Rainkeeper: Apple is awesome.

Joy: *screeches* THIS IS TOO DIFFICULT.

Kelp: I KNOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWW

Glory: I'M STILL STRUGGLING TOO!

Deathbringer: Okay, I know I'm gonna regret this bUT KNOW IT WAS LIKE A MILLIMETER DIFFERENCE, OKAY. JUST LIKE- THE SMALLEST POSSIBLE AMOUNT TO DIFFERENCIATE, GOT IT.

Deathbringer: I pick Joy.

Rainkeeper: I understand.

Joy: HAHA, DAD LIKES ME BETTER.

Rainkeeper: Yeah, by a MILLIMETER!

Joy: Millimeters count.

Rainkeeper: SIZE DOESN'T MATTER!

Joy: Is that what you told Pear?

Rainkeeper: OH MY MOONS.

Joy: *cackling*

Glory: Dammit, this is a difficult choice.

Kelp: ARRRGHHHHHH.

Kelp: CAUSE LIKE- SHORE IS MY SON! HE'S AWESOME AND AWKWARD AND HE'S THE OLDEST TOO! BUT ANDER!!! 

Kelp: ANDER'S LIKE MY BABY. BUT THEN RIN IS JUST AMAZING AND UNDERRATED 

Joy: AND SUPER COOL. ALL OUR KIDS ARE SUPER COOL. IT'S NOT LIKE YOU CAN PICK OUT THE LAME ONE AND NARROW IT DOWN. THEY'RE ALL COOL.

Tsunami: *in a mocking voice* Well you can't pass, so-

Joy/Kelp: SHUT UP.

Nightflyer: Okay, I have a way to help you decide.

Nightflyer: Close your eyes, and clear your mind of all of this. Think about puppies or something.

Kelp: Okay.

Nightflyer: Now, I'm going to say a word, and I want you to say the first thing that comes to mind when I say it. Like a word association game. Kay?

Joy: Ok.

Nightflyer: Your kids.

Kelp: Rin and Shore.

Joy: Ander.

Kelp: CRAP.

Joy: FINE, I PICK ANDER. NOBODY TELL SHORE AND RIN, CAUSE I LOVE THEM TOO.

Kelp: I guess I'll pick Shore, but I feel mad not picking Rin!

Joy: ARRGHHH THIS IS HARD.

Clay: Are we bad parents for picking so easily?

Peril: Maybe....

Air: Nah, Squelch sucks, you chose well.

Peril:........Yeah, okay.

Rainkeeper: And with that knowledge that I will immediately be telling Shore, Rin, and Ander about-

Joy: SCREW YOU-

Rainkeeper: One question to our delightful readers.

Air: So you know how when the JW and DOD get together, we call the chapter Both? Well now that we're daring people from Dragonslayer, Darkstalker Legends, and the LC, what should we call it when those groups get paired with someone else?

Joy: Like, if a dare involved the Lost Continent people and the JW, what should we call that? Or any other pairings.

Kelp: LET US KNOW YOUR IDEAS!

Nightflyer: AND STAY SAFE FOR THE REST OF WEIRDMAGEDON!