What Goes Around Comes Around.

 ٱﻟْﺨَﺒِﻴﺜَٰﺖُ ﻟِﻠْﺨَﺒِﻴﺜِﻴﻦَ ﻭَٱﻟْﺨَﺒِﻴﺜُﻮﻥَ ﻟِﻠْﺨَﺒِﻴﺜَٰﺖِ ۖ ﻭَٱﻟﻄَّﻴِّﺒَٰﺖُ ﻟِﻠﻄَّﻴِّﺒِﻴﻦَ ﻭَٱﻟﻄَّﻴِّﺒُﻮﻥَ ﻟِﻠﻄَّﻴِّﺒَٰﺖِ ۚ ﺃُﻭ۟ﻟَٰٓﺌِﻚَ ﻣُﺒَﺮَّءُﻭﻥَ ﻣِﻤَّﺎ ﻳَﻘُﻮﻟُﻮﻥَ ۖ ﻟَﻬُﻢ ﻣَّﻐْﻔِﺮَﺓٌ ﻭَﺭِﺯْﻕٌ ﻛَﺮِﻳﻢ

" Women impure are for men impure, and men impure for women impure and women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity: these are not affected by what people say: for them there is forgiveness, and a provision
honourable."

(Aaya 26, Surah Noor)

No matter how far you run, no matter where you hide, be it on the peak of the highest mountain, in the deepest, darkest cave, in the densest forest, the most fortified fort, you cannot hide from Allah. What is meant to reach you, will never miss you and what was meant to miss could have  never reached you. Farhaad realised that his retaliation had now begun and there was no escape for him this time.

He had agreed to see a girl that his mother had insisted was a good , homely girl,  from a good home, with a good upringing. He felt guilty that his past would be kept a secret from this girl, yet at the same time , he wanted a pure girl, a girl that was never touched by a man before, and the only way he could get a girl like her, was if he feigned to be a good man himself. He knew it was reception, but he didn't think much of it.

Today was the day that he would go and see his supposed bride. It was a Sunday, meaning he was off from works, so he decided he would  laze around in bed until half past four, they would have to reach the girls house at five o clock.

He heard a soft knock on his door .
"Come in ", he spoke, his voice muffled in his pillow.

Fariha walked into the room and sat beside her brother, a sad and distant look on her face. When he heard no one speaking, he rolled onto his back , opened one eye, and peeped at the intruder. When he saw her expression, he sat up worried.

"What' s wrong Fari ", he pulled her towards him, wrapping his arm around her. She didn't reply, instead she broke down, sobbing on his shoulder.

" Fariha, what's the matter ? Are you in pain ? ", he asked , concerned.

She shook her head from side to side. She sniffed  and wiped her tears away, with the back of her hand.

" I'm just sad I won't be able to go with my brother. It's your first proposal and I can't accompany you."

"But I did tell you to come with ."

She shook her head. " I can't cause you embarrassment, what will we say if they ask where is my husband? What if they reject you because of the shame I brought unto this family?"

He hugged her tight. " I don't care what they say , if they have a problem with you , they don't deserve to be my in laws."

She smiled at him. " It's okay I guess , as long as you bring me her picture"

" And how will I do that ?"

"Just pretend that you are busy on yor phone and capture her picture ! Easy" she grinned. Farhaad laughed.

"Only for you, I will do the craziest of things". He kissed her forehead and hopped out of bed, sleep long forgotten, he decided to take his sister out for the day. He stretched , and yawned loudly. Grabbing his towel, he turned to her.

" Go and get ready , we're going out today, some brother and sister bonding will be nice!"

Fariha grinned.
" Yes ! After such a long time ! ".
She side hugged, due to to her baby bump and dashed out of the room.

"Careful ! ", he shouted then shook his head. He felt a pang of guilt, he couldn't remember when was the last time he actually took his sister out, when was the last time, he spent some quality time with her. She lacked the love of a father and he didn't even try to fill that missing puzzle in her life.

They roamed the mall , much to Fariha's delight , Farhaad was unusually patient while she shopped,  he had to be patient with the amount of times she needed to run to the bathroom, and he even bought her almost everything she wanted.

While she was busy admiring jewellery, Farhaad strolled through the baby clothes racks. He wanted to call Farhana, but he didn't know how she would react. As far as possible, she would totally avoid any conversations regarding the baby , unless it was of importance. Farhaad feared that she would hate her own child. Deciding to take the risk, he called for her.

"Yes", she walked over, giving him a small smile.

"Uh....um...why don't we purchase some baby clothes, you already in your seventh month and we haven't bought a thing".

Farhana's smile immediately fell off of her face, she looked at him with glassy eyes.
"I appreciate it that you are here with me through out all this,  but do you know what really hurts..."
a few stray tears rolled down her cheek and she hastily wiped it away .

"Normally a wife along with her husband do the first baby shopping together! Look at me , I feel pregnant against my will and I wasn't even ready to be a wife, and at the age of eighteen I'm  going to be a mother, Farhaad!", she gave him a sad look.

He placed his hand on her head.
"Insha Allah, I will find you someone who will treat you like a precious gem"

  She shook her head.
" No one wants an impure wife , especially not with a child".

Farhaad remained silent, he didn't know how to reply to that, for it was true no matter how bad a man was himself, very seldom would they accept a woman who was not chaste.
He couldn't help, but feel that all this was his fault, he finally realised that this was due to him not making tauba. Seeing Fariha go through this , he realised how Shabana must have been feeling, seeing the way his sister looked at couples happily walking hand in hand, with glassy eyes, he realised how Shabana must have felt. Seeing his sister getting kicked out , and humiliated in Fayaaz's house , hearing those words , he once told Shabeer, he realised how Shabeer must have felt seeing his sister being humiliated. He regreted , yes he did, but his pride still prevented him from accepting her , his status in his mother's eyes still held him back from telling his mother the truth and accepting his son. He shook away the thoughts as usual and focused on his sister who was looking at the same baby grower for the past ten minutes, a distant look in her eyes.

He sighed, and decided to leave baby shopping for another time. He tugged on her arm, dragging her to the food court, he was so tired of shopping  and his stomach was grumbling loudly.

Farhana giggled.
"Sorry I didn't even think you might be hungry".

" Yeah and so are you, I'm sure "

She shook her head.
" No I'm fine"

Farhaad glared at her.
"You will eat and I'm not taking no for an answer. You didn't even eat breakfast ". He scolded. The way she ate so little , like a bird was not good for her health, neither her child's. She sighed, agreeing half heartedly.

They settled  down in the Sandton Mall food court , after ordering their food, engulfed in  the aromas of food, from the various food stalls sarrounding them. Farhaad noticed that his sister still had on a glum expression, staring at her hands. He diverted her attention to their embarrassing childhood stories , making Fariha laugh. She was giggling uncontrollably until her eyes began to water, she dabbed at her eyes , breathing in and out, trying to stop another outburst of giggles, when suddenly she froze, her lips lopsided into a frown. Farhaad followed her gaze, his hands clenched at what he saw.

Fayaaz was walking towards the food court, a very inappropriately dressed girl clutched his arm, he threw his head back and laughed at something she said, like he had no care in the world.

Fariha stood up immediately , not wanting Fayaaz to nitice her and see her breaking down. Farhaad followed her out of the seating area , he told her to carry on, while he fetched the food. She nodded and walked away , she stood behind a wall, her back facing the food court. A tear rolled down her cheek , she quickly wiped it off, but another fell and another , until it turned to a full blown sob.
She hugged her hands to her chest, feeling her heart cry  in syncronition  with her eyes.

She heard someone shuffling behind her, thinking it was Farhaad, she grabbed the end of her scarf , dabbed her eyes and  blew her nose with her tissue. She remained standing with her back facing him, not wanting him to see her crying , yet again.

She felt a hand on her shoulder but, still didn't turn around, when she felt his other hand on her shoulder, she couldn't bear it anymore. She pinched her eyes closed and turned around sobbing into his chest.

"Farhaad! It hurts so much , to see him living so care free , enjoying his life with other girls, while I have to bear the humiliation of carrying his child, what about my happiness ? What did I ever do to deserve this!" She sobbed harder, clutching his shirt. His hold tightened around her, and he walked a few steps away, out of anyone's prying eyes.

" I'm sorry ", he apologised , really meaning it.

Fariha gasped when she heard the unfimiliar deep voice , her eyes snapped open and she saw a white shirt, she loosened her grip on the shirt. Her brother was wearing a black shirt , she clearly recalled ironing his shirt this morning. This mysterious persons chin was still on her head, so she moved back abruptly  and glared at the person , only to gasp even louder, she stared at him in shock.

Fayaaz have her an apologetic look. She gave him a  withering look in return.

" Why the hell did you touch me again!" She yelled.

He winced at her words, then quickly clamped  his hand on her mouth, when he saw she was about to scream again.

She pulled away, glaring at him, with hateful eyes.
"What do you want from me ?" , she asked in a cold voice.

Fayaaz sighed, he shoved his hands in his jeans pockets, then met her gaze, but she looked away , unable to bear looking into his apologetic eyes.

"  I just want to apologise."

" Aplogising is not going to help me in any way, neither is it going to bring my innocence back that you snatched away without any right! I kept myself pure my entire life, only for my future  husband ! But you took that away from me ! I can't even dream of getting married and having a cute family ! You shattered my hopes and  dreams ! Sometimes I feel ....I feel like killing myself !", she sobbed , slipping down against the wall, not able to bear this anymore, she was broken, so broken, broken beyond repair.

Fayaaz crouched infront of her. His heart squeezed in his chest, seeing her tear stained face , her pained eyes, he distressed this girl so much, he didn't even realise. He looked down at her baby bump, her hands were placed on it, protectively. His heart ached, she was only eighteen! He was a beast , he was a devil to do this to her, she was such an innocent , happy girl , he snatched the joy of her youth, he shattered her soul and shredded her heart. He had always been attracted to her, her bashfulness and modesty attracted him even more, but why did he do this ? Why couldn't he just propose? He could,  but he didn't because he feared that her family would reject him, he was not a practicing Muslim and he knew she was and would probably want someone on the same wavelength as her. He tried to keep his distance, but it so happened that she was left alone at home the day he returned drunk. Drunk because he was trying to forget her , by  drowning himself in alcohol. She just had to be there when he was drunk out of his mind...

" Look , I know my sorry doesn't change a thing,  but I truly regret my actions. What I'm trying to say is , I will make you my wife one day...but I need to first settle down" .

She looked up at him with watery eyes, she gulped then stood up, he did the same. She turned her back to him and spoke.

"You are just agreeing to this because your mother told you to, Aunty cannot bear to see me in pain,and you  cannot bear to see the disspointment in her eyes. I don't want to marry you, knowing that you are not doing this willingly ".

"But...".

" Save it , I don't want to hear anything", and she walked away , dissappearing out of his sight.

He sighed, leaning against the wall. She was right about him not being able to see the disappointment in his mother's eyes , heck even his sister looked at him with hateful eyes now. His mother had ignored him, ever since the revelation , she didn't even glance at him. He had decided on his own,that he will marry Fariha , for he still was attracted to her , and he wanted only her as his wife but, he messed up badly and he knew she would not be easy to get but, he would fight till he got her.

Farhaad sped up on the highway , his heart beat speeding along with the car. He was so nervous , that he was surprised at himself , he never got nervous. He held the steering wheel tightly , wanting to so desperately turn back to his house. After seeing Farihas state, her emotional break downs, it caused a spark of sympathy in his cold heart . He wanted to go and propose to Shabana, he wanted to accept them as his family and tell his mother everything. When he reached home and saw his mother's joy and excitement, he pushed the idea aside and reluctantly went along.

" Ya Allah ! Farhaad I don't want to die so soon, I want to live to see my grandchildren!", she panicked , clutching the door handle, tightly.

He gave her a sheepish smile.
" I'm sorry."
If only she knew she already has a grandson...

"Look ahead , don't look at me !"
She reprimanded.

He chuckled. 

" It's not funny ! I think when you get married , your wife must sit at the back."

He gave her a questioning look.

" You will be so distracted by her , you won't keep your eyes on the road ahead, but on her instead.", his mother teased.

"Mum !" He groaned.

" What! she is a beautiful girl ,I will understand if you can't take  your eyes off of her !" , she wiggled her eyebrows. Farhaad laughed at his crazy mother.

"So , will you live with your family once you are married?"
The old, bulky man peeked at Farhaad from beneath his glasses, sipping his tea.

The old man had been questioning  Farhaad for the past hour, much to his dismay. The man intimidated him, he interogated him, the way he bore his eyes into his own, as if he was searching for some fault in him, the way he watched his every move , made him squirm.

"I would like to live with my family. My father passed away, I am the breadwinner of the house , I need to support my mother and sister, who is still unmarried. If things work out, I will buy a more spacious house, preferably with two separate kitchens, to avoid unnecessary problems. "

The old man seemed satisfied by this answer. He nodded in appreciation .
He placed his cup on the coffee table , and stood up.
" I will call my daughter Haaniya."

He walked out and Farhaad let out a breath, he didn't know he was holding. The living room was huge enough to have a wedding, yet he felt suffcoated. Haaniya was their only daughter, hence her fathers intense interogation. He stood up  and walked over to the sliding door , enjoying the fresh air, he gazed at the sparkly blue pool that shimmered beneath the bright lights. For the first time in these six years , he wondered how Shabana was, how was his son, Raees. He was a charming little boy, his mother would have loved him.
He sighed sadly, his life was such  a mess.

"Assalamualaykum" , her soft , shy voice broke him out of his reverie.

" Wa alaykumusalam." He turned around. She stood awkwardly beside the couch, her head lowered, dressed in a floral dress and baby pink scarf. She had fair skin, long, thick lashes , that touched the top of her high cheek bones, a cute button nose and plump pink lips. His mother was right, she was beautiful.He realised he was staring  and quickly sat down , gesturing for her to sit as well. She sat on the couch that   her father sat on earlier, facing Farhaad.

They sat in awkward silence , not knowing what to say to one another. Unable to sit in this awkwardness anymore, Haaniya decided to break the silence.

"I'm sorry about my father. He's just a bit over protective , as I am his only daughter, and this is my first proposal".

Farhaa laughed. Her father was not a bit overprotective,  he was very overprotective.  He smiled at her.
"It's okay , I have only one sister , and I'm very overprotective over her, and I feel honoured to be the first person you are meeting." He honestly did feel honoured.

She smiled, a tint of pink, coated her cheeks. " I didn't know you had a sister. How old is she ? Why didn't you bring her along?"

"She's eighteen  , and well....she is not really sociable, she's more of the shy type , she doesn't befriend very quickly." What he said was partly true, she was always shy but, she was never an intovert . Once all this happened to her , she became an introvert.

"Oh that's too bad. I would atleast have some company , while I was waiting for my father to complete his lecture. Your sister is one year older than me."

Farhaad gave her an incredulous look. She was only ninnteen , he had no idea ! Now he felt a bit uneasy , he wanted to ask if she knew his age but, he was afraid she would be afraid to know how old he is. He had to ask her now though , she rather know now , and not agree , then know later and break it off. He was already attracted to her, if she refused later on it would be difficult to accept.

He hesitated for a while ,then finally asked. " Do you know how old I am ? "

She shook her head, her cheeks flushed in embarrassesment.
"Actually I don't even know your name !"

He laughed. "It's Farhaad".

She nodded. " Now that you know my age what's yours ? ", she looked up at him for a milli second , then quickly looked down. Farhaad frowned , he wanted her to look at him , when she spoke.

"I'm twenty eight" He held his breath , trying to decipher,  if him being nine years older than her was a bad thing.

She smiled. " I didn't know you were so old ". 

He could hear her playful tone when saying that , he laughed , letting out a sigh of relief.

"Well you know what they say. Old is gold !"

She giggled, then quickly put her hand to her mouth , realising she was laughing too loud. Farhaad looked at her , amused.

" You can laugh you know , it's permisisble to laugh. And can you please look at me".

She was surprised by how blunt he was but, she liked that. She looked up at him slowly , a shy smile on her face, when she saw he was looking at her intently. Farhaad's eyes widened a fraction, she had unique eyes , ones he had never seen before. She had green eyes but, they had specks of gold in them, her eyes reminded him of  a cat he once had , that had the same eyes. He bit his  tongue , holding back a laugh, he was so foolish , comparing a girls eyes to his cat.

"You have beautiful eyes" , he blurted. When he saw the look of surprise on her face , he mentally smacked himself.

"I'm sorry , that was out of line"

"It's okay. " she shook her head , and gave him a small smile.

Half an hour later ,the family sat together discussing wedding plans. Farhaad felt that this was a bit too rushed but, Haaniya's after thought that if both of them liked each other , there was no reason to delay. Not that Farhaad was complainig  ,  he was just a little surprised. Gauging from the luxurious house , and sports cars they owned , he assumed they would need ample time to plan a grand wedding , much to his surprise , Haaniya wanted  small and simple wedding.
All they asked for was two weeks, after two weeks , they would be happily married.

*2 Weeks later *

A black R8 pulled up on the curb, Farhaad along with his friends stood outside the hall, waiting for the bride to arrive. His friends whistled , admiring the car.

Haaniya's parents got out of the car , her father dressed in a black suit , his mother clad in a fancy abaya , matched with a sparkly scarf.
Haaniya's father walked over to the back door , and opened it , giving Haaniya his hand , so that she could steady herself with the heavy lenga she adorned. It was two toned , red at the very bottom and gold on the top, embezzled with heavy working , making her eyes stand out even more. Farhaad smiled at her.
Her father walked her till the steps , then placed her hand in his outstretched one.

He looked at her lovingly.
" You look beautiful Mrs Haaniya Musa, and I'm so glad you're finally mine !"

She blushed prettily lowering her gaze.

" Thank you "
she replied shyly.

He was ecstatic  that he married a woman that was pure , a woman that  he was proud to call his wife. Perhaps he was rejoicing too soon , perhaps this was just the calm before the storm.....