Swallowing His Pride.

عن صفوان بن عسال رضى الله عنه عن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم  قال : " إن الله عز وجل جعل بالمغرب بابا عرضه مسيرة سبعين عاما للتوبة لا يغلق حتى تطلع الشمس من قبله"

Safwan ibne Assal رضى الله عنه narrates that Nabi صلى الله عليه وسلم said: " Verily Allah the Almighty and Majestic has placed in the West a gate for 'taubah' turning to Allah in repentance, whose width is equavelent to seventy-year journey. It will not be locked, till the sun rises from the West.
(When the day of Judgement will be very near then the door of taubah will be closed).
(Tirmidhi)

"Remember honesty and sincerety within a marriage is of paramount importance. Try your utmost to engender trust and confidence whinin the marriage."
(The perfect knot)

Noticing that Farhaad was nowhere to be seen, she grabbed the broom from the kitchen, and hurriedly went into the store room , she wanted to leave before he returned from wherever he had gone. She wheeled the bags out of the store room hastily , in the process she knocked her elbow into the door frame. She winced as the pain shot throughout her arm.

She dragged both the suitcases into the passage, just as she pushed the room door open, she heard the front door open with a click. She froze, panic began surfacing, she mentally cursed herself for wasting so much of time sulking and crying instead of utilising her time getting her bags , packing and leaving.

Farhaad walked into the passage, his decission made. He stopped abruptly seeing Haaniya in the passage, like a frightened deer caught in head lights, two suitcases on either side of her, her hand on the door.

"Where are you going ?", he snarled, his anger resurfacing.

"I ....um...", she stuttered, frigtened to answer.

"You what ?", he balled his hands  into fists.

" I'm leaving, I promise I won't ever come back ", she choked out in a whisper, she turned her face towards the wall , as tears cascaded down her cheeks.

"You are not going anywhere !" , he yelled.

She shook her head , she was afraid that he would hurt her, treat her differently, she would rather live without him than live with him, and endure his silent treatment and cold attitude.

She left the bags in the passage, pushed the door open and rushed to the bathroom, slaming the door behind her and locking it, she slid down against the door , she rested her forehead onto her knees, her body shook violently ,  as  guilty, painful, heartbreaking  sobs escaped...

Farhaad sighed, he ran his hand through his hair in frustration.
He knocked on the door gently.

"Haaniya please come out , I'm not going to hurt you , nor shout at you , neither do I want you to leave. I want to just talk to you. Please come out", he pleaded. One look at her and he could sense the fear she had developed for him in the past few hours, he saw the fear in her eyes , and it hurt him , it hurt so much that she actually thought he would hurt her. If only she knew he was no better! If only she knew his sin, his past, if only she knew about his son, she would be much more hurt than he was , she would probably hate him, and maybe she herself would demand a divorce , and if that is the decision she would make, he surely wouldn't agree to it, he would be selfish and keep her with him , for no matter what she had hidden away from him, she  had  unknowingly rserved a special place for her in his heart, and he could never let go off her now, he had a past of his own, and his behaviour was out of line, he should have dealt with it in a better manner but,  just the thought of his dear wife , once being someone else's enraged him.

Haaniya's confession being yet another warning and a lesson for him, did not go unnoticed by him , the thought crossed his mind that perphaps this was Allah's way of reminding him that he had destroyed a womans life, and if she ever did marry she would have to confess to her husband , the way Haaniya confessed to him , even worse her husband would have to accept her child.... 

She sat on the cold tiles, sobbing even harder. Why was he being so nice all of a sudden ? Was he speaking the truth or was this the calm before the storm?

"Haaniya ", he called out once again, leaning his forehead against the door.

She refused to come out , after a while Farhaad decided to let her be , he grabbed the broom and cleared up the shattered glass .

He still did not repent for his sin but , for now all he could do was swallow his pride and accept Haaniya as his bride. He sat on the bed, waiting for her to compose herself and come out.

Half an hour later she plucked up the courage to face him. He sounded sincere when he said he wanted to talk but, she would not keep her hopes high , perhaps he was only putting on the calm facade to fool her and get her to come out.

As soon as she opened the door , he wrapped his arms around her, embracing her into a bone crushing hug. She gasped as she felt his tears fall onto her head.

Why was he crying?

"I'm so sorry Haani "

Why was he apologising ?

She stood rigid, utterly confused with his behaviour. After he had pulled away ,he tugged her towards the bed , sittting cross legged opposite her , with his head bowed, eyes casted down, her hand clasped in his own , as it rested upon his lap, he unlocked the dark secrets of his past.

She was honest, she had  hidden it  for a long time but , she was still honest and he appreciated her honesty , it was only fair that he was honest as well.

Farhaad's heart was as hard as a rock, it needed torrents of rain,  harsh downpour and violent storms over time, that would cause an imprint of realisation in his rock of a heart.
Unaware , oblivious and carefree he continued living, once again regarding repentance for his past sin as insignificant, until a calamity so severe afflicted him , that left him shattered and broken  for life! Would this calamity soften his heart , or would it be yet another apparent reminder that would be ignored ?

______________________________________________________________________________

السلام عليكم

Hope you all enjoyed this chapter.

The epilogue of this story is now left which may be a bit lengthy as it will include both Farhaad and Shabana.

Be warned the epilogue is not the typical  happily ever after epilogue. It is based on a true story so there will be happiness but,there will be loss and grief as well.

The last chapter will be the most difficult and painful chapter for me to write but , the purpose of this book was not merely  to write about cute married couples , that was just by the way.

This book is written to make us realise the seriousness of regarding our sins insignificant, and clearing   the misconception that we don't have to repent for the past. Surely we should regret and repent and at the same time have faith in the mercy of Allah,that Allah will surely forgive us.

Jawhariy❤