May 5TH, 2018

Sunday, 6:50am

"Sshh, let's not wake her up."

The puppy's whining increased in volume and he stared up at Amin with big eyes. Sighing, he squatted and played with him for a little while. He had just gotten through with the cleaning of the crate so everything was fresh and clean in the puppy's world.

He'd been up since four, catching up on the little work that was piling up. He couldn't shake the nagging feeling that had been with him since the day before so he directed his thoughts towards work. Questioning her didn't feel like the right thing to do, especially since she kept forgetting to answer.

Light streamed through the kitchen windows and he took it as his cue to check on her. She was already stirring when he entered the room and opened the curtains a little.

"Hey you," she smiled with her eyes closed, her face to him. The view of her on the bed was enough to make him want to crawl back in but he had other plans and they needed attending to.

"Good morning, babe. How are you feeling?"

"Like I slept. Why are you up so early?" She sat up grudgingly and removed the sheets from around her bed.

"We've got plans. So you need to get up and put some clothes on," he headed into the bathroom and muttered, "for my sanity."

"Amin, really? I didn't plan to leave this house today."

"Too bad. Get up."

"You're mean. Can you at least say where we're going?"

"Nope," he pulled her close and kissed the top of her head. "Just brush your teeth and put clothes on. Oh, and pack a change of clothes."

"Okayy, I'm a little excited now." She passed by him and went in the bathroom. "Did you check on the dog?"

"Yeah. Speaking of, are you ever going to name him?"

"Of course. Just not now. It's a delicate decision."

"Whatever you say. Ten minutes."

"Geez, I'm coming. If you're gonna be like that, then find clothes for me."

"I will then. Jeans? Dress? Sweatpants? What?"

"Find clothes means find clothes, babe. I don't know. The sweatpants sound great though," she flashed him a smile and disappeared behind the door.

He sighed and went over to his closet. "Women."

"I heard that," she yelled from the bathroom.

He just shook his head and found her a shirt to wear from among his clothes. His phone rang out from the side of the bed and he went to answer  it. "Bas."

She peeked from behind the door and stretched out her hand towards him.  He handed her clothes to her and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Good morning to you too. Are you okay? Since Friday. Just making sure you're not dead."

"I'm fine. What's up?"

"Ookay then. I did what you asked with the hotel. Do you want them to handle the thing tonight too or..?"

"Nah, I'll talk to them when I get there, just send me the number. Are you busy today?"

"Yeah, I have to go to Sajj house to handle some stuff. Have you been there?"

Amin frowned. "Not this week. Why? Did something happen?"

"A lot. But I'm not gonna ruin your Sunday. We'll have that conversation tomorrow."

"Bassam-"

"I'm not saying anything, so don't even try. Give my love to Jess. And don't chicken out. Catch you later."

"La shanq ealaa li! Bassam-"

The call went off and he cursed under his breath. He considered calling Khalil and changed his mind almost immediately. While he didn't like being in the dark, he didn't want anything to ruin his day. It was going to be as close to perfect as he could get it.

"Are you okay?" Jessica came out of the bathroom, adjusting the white tee shirt on her.

"Wow. You should wear my clothes more often," he murmured against her lips when he pulled her closer.

"You're not answering my questionnn," she pushed him away and walked off with a frown. "I heard you raise your voice. You never raise your voice."

"I'm fine, babe. It was just Bassam."

"Oh. Is something wrong?" She got a brown sundress out of the closet and put it into an overnight bag along with her sandals.

"Not really. He's handling it. Now come on, I'm hungry." Something was wrong. He just didn't know what. 

"Where are we going again?" She grabbed her purse and the bag and walked up to him. Her hair hung around her shoulders loosely, and she didn't bother to wear anything else on her feet but her slippers.

"Will you please walk in front of me so we can leave? You ask too many questions."

"Walk in front of you huh? You're such a perv." But she did what he said while he laughed behind her.

"What can I say? Watching you walk away is fun to do." He caught up with her at the door and stole a kiss. "You look beautiful."

"Thanks babe."

****

They walked into the Mamba Point hotel restaurant together holding hands. Jessica tried not to look star struck but the interior was beautiful. She had never been there and at first glimpse, she wanted to see everything. It wasn't possible but it didn't stop her from trying.

"What do you think?"

"I think it's perfect. I love the air in here," she squeezed his hand and looked behind her to admire the lights overhead.

"Do you want to sit on the terrace? Or in here?"

"Outside, definitely."

"Okay. Let's drop off your bag first. Let me get the keys at the front desk. Coming?"

"Nah, I'll wait for you here." Her eyes didn't meet his; they were too busy admiring her surroundings. He left her to it and hurriedly got the key to their room. A few minutes later, they were in it.

"When are you going to spit it out?" She sat on the bed and stared knowingly at him.

"What do you mean?"

"You brought me here for a reason, obviously. So what is it?"

"Why don't we take the day one step at a time hm? Breakfast first, I'm really hungry. And I know you are too."

"Fine. But I know you're up to something." She held up her hair with a hairband in front of the small and round wall mirror.  The room was simple enough, but every elegant. There was a small vanity on the left of the room. The artwork hanging over the bed blended in with the room's décor and colors. There was a sofa under the window that looked over the garden, and Jessica already knew that that was where she wanted to spend the rest of her day.

"Having the feeling and actually knowing are two different things." He held out a hand to her and she accepted it before standing up. "Not knowing is part of the fun, you know?"

"Rightt," she laughed and followed him outside. They rode the elevator to the ground floor and ran into his mom on their way to the terrace. Amin squeezed her hand and wore a quick smile, surprised to see his mom.

"Mama. Good morning," He let go of Jessica's hand and kissed his mom's cheek. "Is Khalil here?"

"Sabahu alkhayr, baby. Yes, he went to the men's room." She looked past him and smiled at Jessica, who came forward slowly. "Good morning, dear. You must be Jessica. Come, come."

She extended her arms and Jessica walked into them and hugged her. "Good morning, Mrs. Azam. It's nice to meet you."

"You too. I've heard a lot about you." She winked and smiled at Amin. "I'm going to tell your father that I'd prefer to eat somewhere else, don't want to ruin your morning. Have a good one. And call me when you can, okay?"

"Thank you, mama. I'll call, I promise."

She waved and met Khalil just as he was heading towards her. She steered him away from them while they walked away as quickly as they could. A word was not uttered until they were both seated at a table. A waiter came over to take their orders. The both ordered pancakes, bacon and sausages, with sunny side up eggs.

She sighed and leaned forward. "That's your mom huh?" 

"Yeah... I had no idea they were going to be here, I'm really sorry."

"There's no way you could've known. Besides, it went well. She seems nice." Her brows furrowed. "Which is surprising."

"She likes you. If she didn't, you'd know-trust me," he chuckled and leaned forward.

"I see. So what's up?"

"You're up. Let's talk. Ask me anything you want, I promise I'll answer truthfully. This is me trying to uh, open up. Be transparent."

Her eyes widened and she started laughing. "For me? That's sweeeet.  Why now though? Not that I'm not happy about it, but I just want to know."

"Yeah, I understand that. I'm...comfortable, for lack of a better word. And I realized how important you are to me a few days ago. I want us to be stronger and better, to have enough stability. I know that it's hard, but I want us to work. Despite everything. "

She smiled and held his hand on the table. It didn't quite reach her eyes, but he didn't want to push. She looked like she had a lot on her mind and he was willing to wait until she was ready to talk about it.

"I love that you feel that way, Amin. I really do. And I'm glad that you're opening up. It means a lot to me."

The waiter arrived with their food and Jessica sat back with a relieved look on her face. They ate in silence with the occasional smile across the table. He didn't have the heart to tell her his plans for the day. She just looked sad and tired and it bothered him that he didn't know why.

After breakfast, they went back to their room and she took a long bath. While she was in the bathroom, he laid on the bed and checked his mail on his phone. It was a much needed distraction and he got lost in his work for some time.

When the bed dipped beside him and he felt her lips on his cheek, he smiled and set his phone aside. "Hey you."

She had on a huge army tee shirt and blue jeans. Her face was scrubbed clean and she smelled like her coconut body wash. "Hey. You're working again, aren't you?"

"I needed to do something while waiting for you."

"Sure," she laid on her back beside him and sighed, staring at the ceiling.

"You're not okay."

"I'm trying to be," she turned on her side and smiled up at him. "So, what are our plans for today?"

"I cancelled them. I prefer your company right here." He laid beside her and held one of her hands in his.

"I'm sorry babe...I'm just not feeling good."

"I noticed...and its okay."

She gave him a small smile and moved closer to him, closing her eyes. "Thank you."

He kissed her forehead in return and hugged her against him. The words that he wanted to say sat on his tongue and waited for him to open his mouth so they could spill out. It didn't feel like the right time, but he wanted her to know. It felt like she was about to make a decision that would affect their relationship and he didn't want that.

There were still a lot of things that he needed to think about and work out, but he was sure about one thing. Jessica was a big part of his life and he wanted her to know that.

"Sleepy?"

"Not really. What's up?"

"Today was planned out for another reason. I wasn't sure how to tell you what I want to tell you so I decided to use today as a medium."

She shifted and looked up at him, puzzled. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Well...I don't know what your reaction will be but I just want you to know." She looked scared and he knew there and then that he sucked at explaining himself.

"Okay...?"

"It's been a long time since we met and started dating. Almost seven months of spending as much time with you as I could. I didn't know how to explain how you make me feel or how I feel about you until I talked to my mom," he gave a sheepish smile.

She sat up and stared at him, her expression unreadable. "Amin...what are you doing?"

"If there was another set of words to use, I'd use them. I couldn't find any, so I'd settle for the obvious ones. This is not easy for me to say, babe."  He sat up and caressed her face; the panic in her eyes was evident.

"B-but..."

He kissed her, cupping the back of her neck. She held on to him and kissed him back, welcoming the distraction. When he pulled away, it left her breathless. Her eyes were shut tight and her forehead against it.

"I'm in love with you."

It was a whisper but it affected her visibly. She released the breath she was holding and shook her head. He held her face with his hands and made her look at him.

He wasn't surprised to see that her eyes were brimming with unshed tears. "Jessica..."

"I don't know what to say...how do you know that?"

"I wouldn't say it if I wasn't sure, you know that."

"I know, and that's the scary part," she laughed through her tears. They came sliding her cheeks and she closed her eyes, not bothering to wipe them away.

"I don't expect you to say anything back. I'm just...telling you because I want you to know that I'm all in. I want this, with you. No one else. Okay?"

He wiped her cheeks with his palms and hugged her. She nodded into his neck and wrapped her arms around him. And for a few seconds, he could pretend that everything was perfect between them; the reality of their situation forgotten.