I knew Kousei was a little distraught, even if it did happen all that time ago, but I didn't realise it was this bad. I always try to be extra goofy around him and he seems happy with himself, at least most of the time. His mum didn't make an effort to know me well, I don't even think she knew who I was. This meant that as a kid, I really had no idea what was going on with Kousei. He always said to me that it was to make his mum happy because she was sick, and I agreed to whatever he believed. He was always such a scardy-cat, he still is now, but he was so afraid to anything against his mother's wishes, it sometimes got me wondering what she would do to him. In my little kid's view, he was the boy who played the piano with all his heart.

But now, the piano has cracked his fragile heart into pieces.

He begins to speak.
"I can't hear the piano anymore." His eyes are on his hands in his lap, he's ashamed at this.
"What do you mean? I'm pretty sure you aren't DEAF!" I yell in his ears.
"You wouldn't understand", he starts to stand up.
"No don't, I want to know what's going on!" I grab his arm so that he has to sit back down.
"Well I don't feel like talking right now, but all I say this this. I still hate the piano and it hates me. It's my punishment for not continuing with my mother's dream." This time he gets up and says "Please go, I know you care for me but I have to deal with this on my own".
"That's what it is with you Kousei! You think you can deal with everything but I'm here for you, right NEXT DOOR! Who cares if you can't hear it, come on LIVE a little! " I furiously stomp out of the room and the front door. I slam it behind me.

Tears of regret stream down my face.

I can't believe I said that to him. He's such a good person to me, but I don't think twice about what I say. I wipe away my tears and slowly walk to my house. The memory of what happened that day is still vivid in my mind. I can still see him crying his eyes out when he found out about his brother. His mum was fine at this point from what I could see, she was a kind, happy lady. But when she was told about the accident, she deteriorated into the sickly woman she is today. She brainwashed her dreams into Kousei, he was the only son she had left. You can only guess what she did to persuade him. Then she was taken away and Kousei had nothing to hold onto.

That's why I'm helping Kaori with her lie, deep down I believe it will pull Kousei out of the darkness he is in.

Before I realise it, I'm starting at my door mat. I almost bashed into my own house, I've never met anyone as clumsy as me. I open the door and let it close.
"Hey, what's the new cafe like?" Mum's in the kitchen preparing dinner.
"It's great! We should go there sometime". I stop the conversation there and head upstairs. I ditch my bag on the floor and kick my shoes off. My bed has never been so comforting, I lie with my head over the edge, upside down. As I do this, I see a photo album on my bookshelf. Sitting up I see that it reads KOUSEI AND TSUBAKI - aged 8. My mum has created multiple albums like this one, she seemed to think that we looked cute together as kids. As if my hand has a mind of its own, it pulls it off the shelf. I open it up and start looking at the collages of photographs.

There's one of me playing the piano with him, I look as if I'm pounding it like no tomorrow and Kousei is trying to stop me.

Me and him in the sandpit, I'm making a seashell and he's crying because he got sand in his eyes.

One with with both of us in the car, me looking out the window like a dog would and Kousei was fast asleep, his glasses slowly falling off his face.

The two of us walking across the bridge over the river, I'm pointing at some fish but he's terrified to go near the edge because I pushed him off last time.

The one that sticks out to me, it's one of me, Kousei and his brother Hiroki, after one of their duet recitals in Tokyo. I'm in a pretty dress with pink flowers on it and they are both in suits. Kousei looks horribly older than he is, more like 12. Hiroki is standing proud next to him. For 13 he acted more like Kousei's age, that's probably why they were so close. It must have been terrible for Kousei to lose him and at such a young age. I was friends with him too, I remember him as a cheerful guy who also had a passion for music. Kousei really looked up to him.

I don't think Kousei has any idea that I like him, I've never mentioned anything to him. He once said to me that no one would ever go for him. I told him he has a pathetic way of thinking and should look on the bright side.

But how could I tell him, now that Kaori has come into the picture?

♪........