Silence is not weakness, but the beginning of something sinister.

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Elodie's POV 

            Napakadali lang naman palang humawak ng baril.

            O dahil sa magaling lang magturo si Martin?

            Well, it was the latter part. Magaling naman talagang trainer ang lalaking iyon. Napakadaling maintindihan ng itinuturo niya and after months, I think I am ready to go out.

            "Hit the target. Focus on your target."

            I could feel Martin's warm breath on my ear while he was holding my hand to aim the gun at the target. I could feel his body pressing on my back. Alam ko naman na walang malisya iyon sa kanya. Ang tagal-tagal ko nang nagpi-flirt sa kanya but, Martin was like a saint. Hindi tinatablan ng mga flirty moves ko.

            "Stay focused. Look at your target." Muli ay bulong niya.

            I closed my eyes thinking about the faces of those monsters that tried to kill me. When I opened it, I took the shot, and I could see the smoke coming out from the muzzle of the gun.

            "Nice shot." Ang ganda ng ngiti ni Martin at nilapitan pa nito ang target. "Impressive."

            Hindi ko rin mapigil ang sarili ko at tuwang-tuwa ako sa nakita ko.

            "So, you're done training me?" Tanong ko kay Martin nang makita ko siyang inaayos mga baril na naroon.

            "Yep. I taught you everything you need to know." Sagot niya sa akin habang patuloy sa pag-ayos ng mga gamit niya.

            "What are your plans after here?"

            Nagkibit-siya ng balikat. "I have another job."

            "Like what? Training someone again? Maganda ba iyan?" Nanunuksong tanong ko.

            Natawa lang siya at napailing.

            "Are you going to miss me?" Tanong ko pa.

            Napahalakhak na siya ng tuluyan. "Maybe."

            "You're not going to miss my flirting?"

            "You don't need to flirt, Elodie. You are good enough and people will like you just the way you are."

            Napapikit-pikit ako habang nakatingin kay Martin. Ramdam na ramdam kong sincere naman siya sa sinasabi niya.

            Napalunok ako. Kung sabihin ko kaya kay Martin ang plano ko. Maiintindihan kaya niya?

            "Martin," agad kong kinagat ang dila ko para hindi ko masabi ang totoo. Nagtatanong ang tingin niya sa akin kaya pilit akong ngumiti. "What if you work with me?"

            Kumunot ang noo niya. "Work with you? Like how?"

            "I mean, work with me."

            "Paano ngang work? Ganito? Training uli? You've learned everything. I don't think someone can still take advantage of you."

            Napahinga ako ng malalim. "If I tell you that I wanted to do something, something unconventional would you understand?"

            Huminto siya sa ginagawa niya. "What are you trying to say?"

            Hindi agad ako nakasagot. Handa ba ako? Handa ba akong sabihin sa kanya ang lahat ng gusto kong gawin? Pero ngumiti lang ako.

            "Wala. Joke lang. Sasabihin ko sana na mag-apply kang bodyguard ko but definitely your type is not bodyguard material. Baka ma-bored ka lang agad kasi araw-araw lang akong magsa-shopping," tumawa pa ako ng nakakaloko para hindi niya mahalata na hindi iyon ang ibig kong sabihin.

            Isinara niya ang duffle bag niya nang mailagay lahat doon ang gamit niya tapos ay humarap sa akin. May dinukot siya sa likuran niya at inilagay iyon sa kamay ko. Baril.

            "This is my personal favorite. It's yours. Souvenir. Use it in times of trouble."

            Hindi ko alam kung bakit naiiyak ako habang nakatingin ako sa baril na iyon. Sana kung alam ko lang noon ang mga itinuro ni Martin, hindi sana nangyari ang bangungot na iyon sa akin.

            "Thank you." Bahagya pa akong pumiyok at ngumiti sa kanya. "I've learned so much from you."

            "Don't do anything stupid. If you need anything, any help, call me." May inilagay siyang papel sa kamay ko at nakita kong number ng telepono iyon.

            Hindi ko alam kung bakit ang bigat-bigat ng loob ko na aalis na ngayon si Martin. Siguro kasi ay nasanay na akong lagi lang siyang nasa paligid. Binitbit niya ang bag niya at tinungo ang kotse. Nakasunod lang ako sa kanya. Inilagay niya sa compartment ang bag at isinara iyon tapos ay humarap sa akin.

            "And this is it." Nakangiting sabi niya.

            "This is it." Napalunok ako at pilit na ngumiti.

            "Don't do anything stupid, okay?" Muli ay paalala niya.

            "I can't promise," nakakalokong sagot ko.

            Napailing na lang siya at tinungo ang driver's side ng kotse.

            "What if-" nagtatanong ang tingin na ipinukol niya sa akin. Halatang naasar na si Martin sa dami ng mga gusto kong itanong.

            "Ano na naman?" Padaing na sambit nito.

            "What if I am not broken? Is there a chance that you're going to like me?" Shit. Bakit iyon ang naitanong ko.

            Nakita kong sumeryoso ang mukha ni Martin at lumapit sa akin.

            "What? What's with the broken thing, Elodie?"

            "Evie. I said Evie. Starting today, when you get out that gate, Elodie won't exist anymore."

            "Fine. Evie." Pagtatama niya sa sinabi niya.

            "Are you going to like me even if..." napalunok ako at pinilit na ngumiti. "Even if I am not perfect?"

            "No one is perfect in this world. And yes. I am going to like you. But..." natawa si Martin. "Your father is going to kill me. Besides, there is someone out there who will love you whole. Kaya I know one day, you'll get married." Nakangiting sabi niya.

            Gusto kong maiyak. Sana nga totoo ang sinabi niyang iyon. Sana nga makatagpo ako ng lalaki na tatanggapin ako kahit ano ang nangyari sa akin. Pero sigurado akong kapag nalaman na nila ang nangyari sa akin, love won't be there anymore. It would be more on pity, and I don't like that. Ayaw kong gugustuhin lang ako ng lalaki dahil naaawa sa akin dahil sa nangyari sa akin.

            "Yeah. I hope so. Pero mukhang matatagalan pa iyon. One day I'll ask for your help. I wanted to find someone," sagot ko sa kanya.

            "Take care, Evie." Pagkasabi noon ay sumakay na siya sa kotse. Kumaway pa siya sa akin at nag-drive na paalis doon.

            Ang bigat-bigat ng loob habang tinitingnan papalayo ang kotse ni Martin. Pakiramdam ko nag-iisa na naman ako. Napangiti ako ng mapakla.

            Pero ito ang gusto mo 'di ba? You are waiting for this moment to happen so you can have your revenge to those monsters that ruined you.

            Muli ay tumingin ako sa dinaanan ng sasakyan ni Martin tapos ay sa baril na hawak ko. Yes. This will be my time. And I am going to start right now.

            Mabilis akong pumunta sa kuwarto ko. Naupo ako sa harap ng laptop ko at agad na nag-check ng email. While I was on my training, I started to look for those men who raped me and tried to kill me, and this email was sent to me a long time ago. Pero wala akong lakas ng loob na buksan ito. Pakiramdam ko kasi ay hindi pa ako handa. Pakiramdam ko, kahit dito lang ay masasaktan pa rin nila ako.

            But not today. I was sure to myself that I was ready to face them.

            Baldomero Brothers.

            Iyon ang nakita kong subject ng email. Agad kong binuksan ang email na iyon. Nakita kong nanginginig ang mga kamay ko habang nagta-type sa keyboard. Binuksan ko ang folder na naka-attached doon.

            My body froze when I saw their pictures. Tears immediately formed in my eyes when I was looking at them. Those faces that kept on haunting me every day. They were smiling on the picture. Like when they were raping me. I could still remember their voices. Their laughter. Everything that they did to me.

            My heart was racing fast. I couldn't breathe. I needed to get off the chair and moved away from the laptop. I was standing at the door. I wanted to run. I felt I was not safe here even if I was only by myself. Just the thought that they were here felt I was in hell again.

            I covered my mouth and I cried. I tried so hard not to let go of any noise. It was so hard to consume those nightmares all by myself. I thought I was going crazy. Sa totoo lang, nakatulong ng malaki sa akin ang pagdating ni Martin dito. Ang pagti-train niya sa akin. Iyon ang naging outlet ko para makatakas kahit sandali sa bangungot na nangyari sa akin. Ilang beses akong huminga ng malalim at mabilis na pinahid ang mga luha ko at muling tumingin sa laptop. Muli ay huminga ako ng malalim at nilakasan ko na ang loob ko na muling umupo sa harap ng laptop. If I wanted to success in my plan, kailangan kong harapin ito.

            Ang lakas pa rin ng kabog ng dibdib ko habang pinipindot ko ang bawat file na naka-attached sa folder. Three men. So, they were brothers. Magkakapatid na demonyo na sumira sa akin.

            Marco Polo Baldomero.

            He was the youngest. I can remember him. He was called Pol. Well, he didn't rape me, but he let his brother to violate me, and he didn't do anything. He was there while those men were beating me like a pulp. He was laughing, drinking. He was celebrating while I was there lying on the floor.

            Sige pa ako click at tiningnan ko ang mga detalye tungkol sa buhay niya. He was twenty-five, single and a party goer. Naroon ang listahan ng mga bars na madalas niyang puntahan. Kumunot ang noo ko. It was not a typical bar. Ang mga bar na nasa listahan ay kalat na puntahan ng mga bakla. Napangiti ako. He was hiding something from his family. All right. Now I know his secret.

            Sige ako click ulit ng isang file. Napapikit ako nang makita ko ang litratong iyon. Nagpa-panic na naman ako dahil talagang bumabalik ang lahat ng nangyari. Pero nilakasan ko ang loob ko at tiningnan ang pangalan ng litratong naka-bukas sa laptop ko.

            Karlito Baldomero.

            He was the second. I could remember him. He was the one who first raped me. Nasalo ko ang kamay ko sa ulo at napailing-iling. I could remember how painful it was. He was just shoving himself into me. I was helpless. I was crying. I was begging for him to stop. But the more I was pleading, he continued to rape me harder. He was beating me too. Choking me.

            I looked at his face and little by little I was beginning to get numb while looking at his face. He was smiling on that picture too. And I will make sure that he will wear that evil smile until his last breath.

            And the last.

            Jorge Mar Baldomero.

            The moment his picture came out from the monitor, I couldn't feel anything at all. I was just looking at his face. Memorizing every detail of it. His eyes, his nose, his lips. The shape of his face. He was the monster that beat me and shot me. He was the face of the devil that wanted me dead that night.

            Pinagdikit-dikit ko sa monitor ang litrato nilang tatlo. Tama lang pala na hinarap ko na sila. Dahil ngayon, wala na akong takot na nararamdaman habang nakatingin ako sa mga litrato nila. All I could feel was rage and I wanted to punch their faces right now. But I remembered what Martin was always telling me when we were training:

            Focus. Don't let your anger overpower you. Focus on your purpose. Why are you doing this?

            I am doing this for myself. I am doing this for revenge. I won't let them hurt another woman. Hindi ko papayagan na gawin pa nila sa iba ang ginawa nila sa akin. I should be the last, and I would become their worst nightmare.

            Sige pa ako check ng mga files na naroon. Naroon din ang financials at company profile ng company ng pamilya nila. The patriarch Matthias Baldomero was the one calling the shots in that company.

            That son of a bitch. Pinabayaan niya ang mga anak niyang gawin sa akin iyon. Kunsintidor siya. Binaril ako sa harap niya at wala siyang ginawa. Pinatapon pa niya ako.

            All these men will taste my wrath.

            And I promise it will not be an easy one.

            Kinuha ko ang telepono ko at tinawagan ang daddy ko.

            "Hello, Dad?"

            "Elo-" saglit siyang huminto at narinig kong natawa. "Evie. I am sorry. I am not yet used to call you by your new name. Umalis na si Martin?"

            "Yes." I cleared my throat and blew out a breath. "Dad, I am ready to come out."

            Wala akong narinig na sagot sa kanya.

            "Dad?"

            "I'm here and I heard you. Evie, I know you are hiding something from me. If you are going to do anything, let me know and I am going to help you."

            Natawa ako. "What are you talking about? I just said I am ready to come out. I am ready to be your new daughter."

            Alam kong hindi siya kumbinsido sa sagot ko.

            "Dad, we talked about this. Trust me, I'll be an asset to your company. Mas magaling ako kay Elodie."

            "Ikaw din naman iyon." Katwiran niya.

            "I know. Pero I've changed. Mas agresibo ako. Mas matapang. Walang kinakatakutan," nakatingin sa mga litraro na nasa monitor ko nang sabihin iyon.

            "Mas doon nga ako natatakot."

            Napahalakhak na ako. "Come on. Tomorrow, tell all your staff that you're going to introduce a new head of the Procurement Department."

            "Are you sure?" Paniniguro pa niya.

            "Trust me on this. It will be a brand-new game." Nakangiting sabi ko.

            Napahinga ng malalim si Daddy. "Sige. Tamang-tama at may mga new prospect akong kausap bukas. From an old business, they want to venture out on realty."

            "Really? Sino 'yan?"

            "I don't know if you heard about Golf Accessories Inc. Big time supplier ng mga golf accessories."

            Napatigil ako at napatingin sa file na nasa harap. Iyon ang kumpanya ni Matthias Baldomero.

            "Come again, Dad? Is it owned by Matthias Baldomero?"

            "Yes. How do you know him?"

            Shit. Hindi agad ako nakasagot. "W-well, alam mo naman mahilig akong magbasa ng business news and kilala naman ang company niya."

            "I know. Kaya nga when he approached me and told me he is interested in realty business, I said I'll give him a try. Kaya mong i-handle ang negotiation dito?"

            Napalunok ako at grabe ang kabog ng dibdib ko. Hindi ko alam kung sa takot o excitement.        

            "Yes. Definitely. I can't wait to meet him." Matatag na sabi ko.

            "Kasama din niya ang mga anak niya. He wanted to turnover the company to his boys. Gusto na daw mag-retire ni Matthias."

            Napangiti ako habang nakatingin sa litrato ng matandang Baldomero.

            He wanted to retire? Then I'll retire him for good.