Heshikiri Hasebe

へし切 長谷部

Requested by Yura024!

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The deep blue sea never failed to attract her with its mysterious identity.

Her bare feet were soaked in the water, enjoying the coolness that it offered amidst the hot and sunny weather. It was the perfect day to have fun at the beach.

"I have never thought of being able to look at the sea with my own eyes. Isn't it beautiful, Master?"

"You just spoiled the atmosphere, Hasebe." She turned to look at her secretary as he passed her a bowl of shaved ice that he had bought from the shop earlier. The ice was drizzled with syrup and condensed milk, and it was her favourite dessert.

As Hasebe went off to get the dessert for the other swords, once again, she was left alone. The water sparkled under the sunlight as she took the float and went to the sea. The wind did a good job pushing her towards the waves while being not too far from the shore.

She closed her eyes, listening to the calls from the flock of seagulls flying across the skies.

'Look at her, what's with those bruises?'

'Scary, scary~ Let's go.'

Opening her eyes, the sea was in her sight again. An adopted child was never better than a legitimate child. The scars on her body could tell a million stories about her traumatic past.

She held onto the float with her arms. She knew she would sink deep into the sea if she let go of the float. It was her only lifeline.

'Go on, didn't you want to leave this world...?' A voice spoke in her mind. It was her other self, trying to coax her mind.

'But...'

'What good do you bring if you are living? Your precious swords? Come on, they'll disappear from you once the war ends! And what happens afterwards? Returning to that house where everyone hates you? Would you let them mutilate your body further?'

She couldn't find an answer to that question, no matter how hard she thought.

Deciding to let go, she sunk. Water filled her mouth, forcing her to stop breathing. The salt stung her eyes as she tried to keep them open, wanting to look at the sunlight for one last time. All she could hear was her own heartbeat throbbing slower as time went by. Darkness was threatening to swallow her consciousness.

"I found her!" Hasebe shouted as he pulled her out from the water, laying her gently on the beach. He pushed on her chest, trying to make her heart regain its beating.

"Come on, please, Master." He prayed, pushing harder on her chest before her eyelids fluttered and coughed out whatever water that was remaining in her lungs.

That was her first attempt.

~~

Ever since then, Hasebe changed. Everything that was going to be sent to her was checked thoroughly by him. He didn't want the same thing to happen to her again.

"Master, what are you doing?" His heart skipped a beat as he saw her squatting by the pond. He almost ran towards her as his reflexes kicked in, but stopped himself as she stood up to look at him with a can of fish feed in her grip.

"Hmm? Feeding the fish. What's wrong?"

"No, it's nothing. Anyway, I heard that you're returning home for a week? Do you need me to accompany you?"

"No, don't come. There's something I need to handle."

"Master."

"What? You're acting weird, Hasebe."

"Are you really alright? After what has happened just months ago?"

"...I promise I won't do that again, Hasebe. I know I'm wrong."

"I apologise, Master. Enjoy and have a nice trip."

"...Yeah."

She had wished that he never saw the truth under her clothes back then.

~~

Reaching her father's house, there was no one at home as she entered the apartment, getting pinned down from behind as she ventured further inside.

"Look who's back... I have to say, I missed you, F/N."

She flinched at the voice behind her as she was dragged into the room. Her wrists were tied up against the headboard. The sound of the belt buckle loosening frightened her, thrashing around to free herself from the restraints.

"After this, I promise that you're free to go-" Her eyes widened at the sudden pain. She was being violated. Whatever noise that she was making couldn't be heard by the neighbours due to the makeshift gag on her mouth.

The pain was soon accompanied by waves of pleasure that she hated so much. Why, why her? Why does she have to live like an obedient pet?

After a while, she stopped thrashing. All the energy was spent trying to fight against the man who just finished his task.

"Go clean yourself up and leave this house. I'll get you a cab to the Ministry of Defense."

~~

Returning back to the citadel, she limped. She was still sore from the abuse, but it felt better as compared to five hours ago.

"Master? Are you alright?" She leaned against the wall as she saw Hasebe running towards her anxiously. Her face was terribly pale.

"C-Can you take me to my room? I'm carsick."

"Absolutely, Master." With that he carried her swiftly back to her room, attending to her needs until she told him to leave.

Taking a fruit knife that was under her pillow, she stared at the gleaming blade for quite while before placing the sharp end against her wrist where her veins were visible.

She was sick of living in such a hideous way.

Cutting herself on her wrist harshly, she ignored the stinging pain as she saw herself bleed out. It only took a few minutes for her to collapse, waiting for the time where her body couldn't function anymore. Her heart was pumping hard while her breathing was laboured.

The feeling of death slowly came to her mind. The first attempt had failed, but she knew she was going to succeed this time.

~~

Hasebe flinched at the sudden feeling. Fear was eating him away slowly as he went to find her. There she was lying in a pool of blood, barely conscious.

"Someone come and help! Yagen!" He shouted across the citadel before going back to her, taking a piece of cloth and wrapped it tightly around her wrist. Blood was something that he was completed accustomed to, but when he saw blood flowing out from her wrist uncontrollably, he was on the verge of losing himself to insanity.

"Hasebe, raise her hand up and hold onto the cloth tight!" Yagen tried not to fumble as he took out a tourniquet and tied it around her arm, reducing the bleeding. It only served as a temporary method to keep her away from death.

"Master! You need to stay awake!"

"I-I'm sorry..." She spoke feebly before her eyes closed. Hasebe widened his eyes as he checked for her pulse. It was weak, but she was still alive.

"Mitsutada, call emergency services!" It took Hasebe some time to bark out orders as the latter ran off to get the phone.

Hasebe wondered what hasn't been done enough to prevent this tragedy as she was loaded onto the stretcher and into the ambulance.

~~

A week later, Hasebe was informed that he was allowed to visit her.

He knocked on the door before entering the ward. She was asleep, with tubes connected to her arm for blood transfusion.

"...It's you, Hasebe."

"I'm sorry for waking you up, Master."

She sat up, averting her gaze.

"...Don't you have anything to tell me? About what I've done."

"What you have done is unforgivable. Have you thought about us? We'll disappear without your powers, back into the cold metal that you see in museums!"

She gripped on the blanket tightly.

"Yes! I know it's selfish for me to just kill myself and leave everything behind! But enough is enough! You don't know what I've been going through-"

She felt his arms wrapped around her torso suddenly. His grip was tight, loosening until she calmed down.

"I know. The prosecutors- They told me. That family is now in custody and awaiting for trial. Nothing can hurt you anymore, F/N. I'm so sorry for not being by your side to protect you like how I always did in the past."

All that self control that she was desperately trying to cling to snapped. All she could see was a blurry vision of the hospital's ceiling as she sobbed. Those words were what she longed to hear.

He kept his promise. Never once did he leave her alone except for work, duties and expeditions.

And even after the war ended, he never forgot her; for she was his treasure.