Jax looks like a different person under the dimly lit sconce lamps of Wilma's Diner. He looks softer, for one, less intimidating, like a guy who might bring you flowers or open your car door–a guy you can depend on.

We get a booth up front. I haven't been here since before my dad left, and it feels strange yet oddly familiar.

Jax looks over like he can read my mind. "You still come here with your dad?"

I swallow hard. While he knows that my parents divorced a while back, he doesn't know that my father abandoned me; I kind of want to keep it that way.

"Sometimes," I say, shrugging half-heartedly. "He's pretty busy these days."

Our waitress is Maple, a middle-aged, motherly type woman with long auburn hair and a permanent smile. She sets down our waters and lets us know she'll be back in a few minutes to take our order.

I run my fingers along the bright red napkin. Everything about this feels like a real date, from the way Jax had picked me up in his truck to the way he'd pulled out my chair for me. It takes all of my common sense to remember this is just a practice run. This guy in front of me–this isn't the real Jax. The real Jax is the boy who would throw away a friendship like it meant nothing to him. The real Jax makes me want to hang myself with a rope.

Despite my reservations, it is surprisingly easy with him. I don't spend the date looking at my hands, too afraid to meet his eyes. I'm not afraid to ugly laugh or speak my mind. I'm not worrying about whether or not I look pretty when I smile, because I don't care what Jax thinks of me. It makes it surprisingly easy to be myself.

"Remember to ask him lots of questions," he says, "but keep the conversation light."

I spend a few minutes contemplating what kind of questions to ask. My Google search had said sex, previous girlfriends, politics and religion are all off limits. Now I find myself unable to think of anything else.

"So," I finally say. "What's your favorite animal?"

Jax stares back like I've just asked to inspect his armpits or something. "I'll answer," he says, leaning in closer, "but don't even think about asking a question like that on your actual date. It's a wolf."

"Why?"

"I don't know," he says. "I guess I like how independent they are, but as soon as the pack needs them, they all come together. It kind of reminds me of how your family are." He clears his throat. "What's yours?"

I rest my arms on the table before remembering how my mother would scold me for it. "Elephants," I say. "I mean, I've never actually seen one in real life, but I think I'd like them. They seem cute, and they look out for each other, too."

Jax's eyebrows furrows like he can't quite believe this. "You've never seen a real elephant? Didn't your parents ever take you to the animal sanctuary?"

"Nope. They worked a lot when we were growing up, and I guess I never really thought to go and visit on my own. So, you got any hobbies?"

His eyes light up in a way that I've missed. "Basketball, drumming–I'm really into music. My band and I play gigs at Loco's sometimes."

I raise my eyebrow. I knew Jax could play a whole range of instruments, but I had no idea he was in a band. "You any good?"

He smiles slightly. "Relatively. What about you? Still into Space, I'm guessing. I always see you out in the front yard with your telescope."

I think maybe he's making fun of me, but the look in his eyes isn't mocking tonight, it's just curious. "Yeah, my mom actually bought me a new one for my birthday the other month."

A pang of sadness tugs at my chest. My birthday is August 8th. Jax and I used to always spend it watching my favorite Disney movies. I could tell he wasn't really a fan of them, but that never stopped him from coming.

"It's amazing," I continue, and as I speak I lean toward him, certain my eyes must be lit with excitement. "It lets you zoom in really close. You can practically see every crater on the Moon. I had to buy the magnifying lenses separately, but it was worth it."

His lips curve upward. If I didn't know better, I'd think maybe he's enjoying my company. "Seen any aliens yet?"

"No, not yet. I've seen a star explode, though. Did you know that the bigger the star–"

"The faster it burns out." He smirks at my surprise. "I saw a documentary the other day about it."

I smile, because he's so cute. And for a second, just for a second, I forget; I forget that this isn't real.

Jax leans forward, sensing my discomfort. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I search his eyes, wanting to ask the questions I've spent three years avoiding: what was wrong with me? How could you go and date Jennifer but couldn't say hello to me in the hallway?

"So, should I mention the space thing on my date with Chris? I feel like it's a bit nerdy."

Jax's expression darkens but he doesn't press the issue. "Yeah, you need to be yourself."

We fall into a comfortable silence when the main meals come. I ordered steak and fries while Jax ordered salmon, though he steals several of my fries when he thinks I'm not looking, just like he used to.

At some point during our conversation, the diner door swings open. Jennifer and Heath stroll over to the front desk, hand in hand. Their waitress shows them to a booth in the corner, and they snuggle onto the same side so that Heath can put his arm around her.

That's what I want. Someone to snuggle with and eat with and tell funny stories to: someone to make me feel special. Without meaning to, I let out a hopeless sigh.

"I thought you weren't interested in that tool anymore," Jax says.

When I look at him, he is busy staring at Jennifer. I wonder if he still has feelings for her. If he thinks about Jennifer the way I used to think about him. "

"He's not a tool," I say. "Why do you hate him so much?"

"I don't hate him," Jax says. "I just don't understand why every girl is obsessed with him. If you heard half the things he comes out with in the locker room, you'd probably change your mind."

I lean forward like he's just told me the juiciest secret. "No way. Heath is a gentleman."

Jax leans forward, too, his muscular, tattooed forearms practically touching my own. "You seem to know a lot about him," he says. "Must be down to all those conversations you don't have with one another."

I roll my eyes. "I don't need to have spoken to him to know what kind of person he is. I've seen how he interacts with others, and he's always super nice."

Jax runs a hand over the stubble on his jaw. Now that he's older, he's starting to look exactly like those pictures of his dad that he carries in his wallet. "It baffles me that you can claim to be in love with someone you've never even spoken to."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," I say, raising both hands. "Nobody said anything about the L word. I don't love Heath, alright? You're always so dramatic, Jax."

His eyebrows shoot up. "I'm dramatic?"

I sigh into my hands. Of course Jax and I can't go a single evening without getting into an argument.

"Hey," he says. He pries open my hands to reveal my face. When I meet his gaze, I see his expression is uncharacteristically serious. "All I'm saying is that you can do a lot better than Heath Myers."

The waitress comes over asking about dessert. Jax and I order the usual brownie sundae, and when she heads back into the kitchen, I glance toward Heath and find Jennifer watching us.

I continue to stare at her, matching her icy expression perfectly. I can see it in her face: the jealousy, the slight sliver of regret. I don't know what makes me do it, but I suddenly reach across the table and grab Jax's hand.

Jax looks surprised, though to his credit, he doesn't pull away. "What are you doing, Satori?"

"You a favor," I say. Bravely, I run my fingers back and forth along his palm. "Jennifer's about ready to explode at the sight of us."

His eyebrows draw together in confusion. "She is?"

"See for yourself."

He briefly glances at Jennifer before looking at me. "Keep going."

I lean in closer, continuing to trace circles across his palm. I saw it in a movie once and stowed it in my things to do when I have a boyfriend pile.

The muscle in his neck pulsates, like he's trying to control himself. I don't know why I'm doing this. Maybe because it's safe to do so, because I have an excuse. I spent three years wanting to reach out and touch him, and now I can.

"Is she still looking?" I ask.

"I don't know." He doesn't take his eyes off mine. His body is rigid, like he's scared to do anything that'll break this spell. I guess this is surreal for both of us: I'm practically seducing Jax Henderson and he seems to be enjoying it.

A/N

Who's ready for more??