A few long weeks passed. Quickly, Eren had come around and apologized to Levi for snapping and being so harsh, but underlying in his apology, Levi could feel he'd meant what he'd said. He felt it was the truth, and that tore at Levi more than anything.

So he did absolutely everything he could for Eren. He made sure to always have dinner ready when he got home from work and always asked how his day went. It wasn't that he'd never done these things before, but he started putting more heart into it. Still, every day Eren had the same answer when prompted about the flavor a meal or how his day went - "It was fine."

He asked about his clients, and though Levi knew there was only a certain, very limited amount he could disclose, he was always more than happy to listen and constantly searched Eren's eyes, his manor of speaking, his overall demeanor for anything he wasn't saying out loud or was even trying to keep hidden.

The days seemed to get better after the first week, but it was only about another before the improvement ceased. Eren was stuck in a rut of sorts - sleeping less, eating less, burying himself in paperwork and then distracting himself with a movie or something else until he fell asleep on the couch, only to be woken by Levi, make it up the stairs and into the bedroom, and hardly sleep for the rest of the night.

The most profound change of all, though, in Levi's eyes, was his lack of enthusiasm in things he used to truly enjoy. He rarely greeted Levi with a smile in the mornings anymore, and though there was still a great amount of love and tenderness in his touch and kisses, they still lacked, almost as if he didn't enjoy it as much anymore. He kept to himself more often, speaking less and mostly only speaking when spoken to.

Levi missed that bright, loving, full-of-life shine in those big green eyes. In many ways, Eren didn't feel so much like Eren anymore.

Depression.

He wanted to deny it with every fiber of his being, but Levi knew. Lynne's death was what pulled his trigger - both her own depression and suicide on top of the fact that Eren never ceased blaming himself for letting her down.

From the beginning of his career - even back to his days in college - Levi was worried that it might have posed a risk of triggering Eren's own mental instabilities, but as strong as Eren was, he proved him wrong every day, and Levi couldn't have been more proud of him. In fact, he might've said all of the studying and new knowledge about it served to help Eren manage himself as opposed to trigger him. Until now, at least...

He needed to know more. Since meeting him, Eren had been more prone to his anxiety than his depression and over the years, Levi learned to help him deal with it. His depression was mild, thankfully, but now that it had seemed to come back in full swing, Levi was reeling for ways to help him. If he was going to be there for him (and of course he was; he didn't wear the silver band on his left ring finger for show), he would need to understand it better. And the only way to do that was to speak to the one person who had been there the last time he knew of it getting so bad.

Levi shuffled up the walk, hands hidden away in the pockets of his coat as a chilled February breeze pushed past, threatening snow. It had only been a few weeks since seeing this house, but it felt odd to be making the trip up to the door without another hand to hold.

He rang the bell and immediately following came the rough barking of the German Shepherd from the other side of the thick wooden door. A few seconds later, it swung open to reveal a woman with graying hair, shushing the canine who, as soon as he laid eyes on Levi, ceased barking and instead commenced wagging his tail.

"Hello, Levi," Carla said, subtle wrinkles manifesting in her cheeks as her lips spread out into her classic warm smile. "Come on in," she invited, tugging the dog back.

Grateful to get out of the cold, Levi slinked into the house and shut the door behind him.

"Welcome, welcome," the woman murmured affectionately, enfolding him gently in her embrace. "How are you?"

"I'm okay," he murmured, hugging back. "What about you?"

"Same old," she said with a smile as she pulled back. "Come in, hon. Make yourself at home. Would you like some coffee? Tea?" Typically for her, she was already headed back toward the kitchen.

"Uhm, tea would be great," he called after her, kicking off his shoes and sliding his coat off to drape over the back of the couch. He spared the dog a ruffle of the ears before following Carla into the kitchen where she'd already begun heating water in a kettle.

"All I have is straight black, is that okay?" she asked, pulling a box of teabags from a cabinet.

"It's perfect," he assured her.

"Good. Sugar, milk?"

"No, thanks." He retrieved two mugs from their cabinet along with a couple of spoons and assisted her in making the beverage. When they were done, he was happy to have the warm cup pressed between his palms as they sat down at the table.

"So how's Eren?" Carla asked, a grave look already clouding her features. It was no surprise she knew somehow that he wasn't doing so great; he hadn't told her much over the phone, but she knew about Lynne, and when it came to her children, she always had that instinct.

"He's...not so great," Levi murmured. "He's had it really rough lately, since Lynne's death."

The woman nodded a bit knowingly. "He calls me every few days to check in. He hasn't said anything about it specifically, but I can tell he's been suffering. It hurts my heart."

Levi mirrored her nod, eyes descending to his tea. "Yeah. It's...pretty bad. I'm really worried. That's why I wanted to come speak to you. You know more about what he's like when he's depressed than I do, so I thought maybe you'd have some advice as to how to help him. I've done everything I can up until this point, but it hasn't been enough..."

Carla let out a long breath, leaning back in her chair before sipping thoughtfully at her tea. "Eren's depression is...sneaky, for lack of a better word. He knows how to fight against it, but that doesn't always mean he wins. As much as I hate to admit it, I can't say it surprises me that the death of that girl impacted him so much." She took another sip, eyes leveling with Levi's. "I'll tell you about what it was like in the past if you think that'll help, and if you think you can handle it without it affecting you, as well."

"I can handle it. It's for Eren, and I want to help him."

A fond smile spread over Carla's face. "Alright. Well, I suppose the best place to start is after Grisha passed away. I...don't like to believe he overdosed on purpose, but Eren thinks differently. I know that. We'll never truly know for sure.

"Eren wasn't immensely close to his father. He and I have always been the close ones, but when my husband was taken away, I was in much the same situation as Eren's in now - blaming myself, wondering what I could've done differently that might have changed the outcome, and just completely drowning in my grief. It put me in a dark place which, in turn, put him in one, too. I suppose you could say it kickstarted issues mentally for both of us, and I still regret not being stronger for my children.

"At first, he didn't talk much, he didn't eat much, and he barely slept. For some reason he also tends to deal with pretty bad insomnia when he's depressed."

Levi was nodding. "Yeah, I noticed he hasn't been sleeping much at all, and I think he tends to have nightmares when he does..." He could clearly picture the darkened circles making themselves known around Eren's usually bright eyes, and felt a pang at the simple memory. His husband was suffering so much...

"Hmm, sounds exactly right," she said quietly. "It took a while, but myself and one of his teachers at the time managed to convince him to see the school counselor who, in turn, referred us to a more advanced psychologist. Surprisingly, he went, and I can't express just how happy it made me when we started seeing improvements. Over the course of several months, his grades started to go back up and he was more talkative...there was a little more light in his eyes. He'd been officially diagnosed with depression and general anxiety...but he refused to go on medication - understandably after what happened to Grisha.

"Unfortunately," she went on, her expression darkening even more so than before. "...it so happened that my son found other ways to deal with his emotional pain. To cope with the demons in his mind."

That was all Levi needed to hear to know what she meant; immediately, his thoughts reverted to the even still fading scars marking up his beloved's torso - his hips, ribs, and even his thighs. His fingers involuntarily tightened around his teacup.

"It was easy to figure out when he was wearing long sleeves in the middle of a hot summer. He was only fourteen or so when it started, and I told him countless times that he could talk to me instead of taking those measures, and that he could always go back to his therapist. And he did a few times, and eventually the long sleeves went away and the scars faded, but I know his suffering continued and he moved on to different places..." She shook her head, her brows tugged together in pain from her memories of those dark days. "I don't know how long he kept it up. I think it was off and on, but he always kept up his smile, and I know it was for my sake - especially during the times it got worse for him. And I get the feeling he's been trying to do the same for you."

"Yeah," Levi said, "he has. But he's been failing miserably. And that's part of what scares me."

"I understand, hon. You know he's stubborn, and I wish I could tell you there's an easy way to get to him when he's like this and convince him that what the monsters in his head are telling him isn't true, but there's not. The best advice I've got for you is to stay as close to him as possible. Don't leave him alone too long if you can help it, and always remind him you love him, that you're there for him and that you've always got an open ear if he wants to talk. You can't force him to open up. He'll have to come to you first, but letting him know you want to listen helps. He tends to think he's a burden to everyone around him and it's caused him to shut his emotions within himself, and in the end that only does more harm to his poor heart."

Levi took a considerable sip of his tea to try and rid his throat of the growing lump. He felt so powerless when it came to Eren, and within his chest laid a constant heavy ache for his beloved.

"Thank you, Carla," he said. Usually he'd smile, but the melancholy was too much to push through. "It hurts...but it's good to know more about his past with this kind of thing. I think it can help. At least, I hope it can."

"Of course, sweetheart. As for you...just don't forget that he loves you, too. Because of this dark cloud attached to him, it'll be difficult for him to express it genuinely, so even when he seems to be pulling away from you, remember he does. Just pull him back gently, and remind him the feeling is mutual."

"I will," he said, feeling those words to his core. He downed the rest of his tea and rinsed it out, leaving it on the counter as he was used to.

"I'm sorry this visit wasn't more cheerful," Carla said with a dry laugh as she trailed behind him into the living room where the dog had curled up near the unlit fireplace.

"No worries," Levi assured as he slid his feet back into his shoes. "It can't always be sunshine and rainbows."

"Too bad," the woman retorted jokingly. "Nonetheless, it was wonderful to see you."

"You, too," he said, this time finding within himself a small smile as they hugged once again before he slid his arms into the sleeves of his coat.

"Tell Eren and Charlotte hi for me, and send them my love. We should get together for lunch or something sometime soon, too...if Eren's feeling up for it."

"Hm, I think that might do us all some good, and I will."

Carla nodded, watching the man step back out into the frigid air. "Take care, Levi."

"You, too."

~*~

The house was quiet when Levi walked in the door, save for the quiet buzz of the television cranked down to background noise. As he swung the front door open, he found Eren to be lying across the couch, sound asleep.

Finally, he thought, knowing Eren had barely slept the past two nights.

Quietly, he slid his shoes off, hung his keys, and stashed his coat away in the front closet before padding up the stairs to make a stop in the bathroom and then in his workroom for his art supplies before heading back down. He sat in the space between the couch and coffee table, just below Eren's head, and shut off the TV before getting to work. Sundays, though the shop was closed, tended to be commission days, days to catch up on work he had for upcoming appointments as well as spending as much time with Eren and Charlotte as possible. With Eren asleep, he figured he might as well get some work done.

He managed to get an entire piece sketched and nearly completely outlined in ink before something warm was pressing to his shoulder and he turned to find Eren awake, having curled up enough so his forehead met the material of Levi's shirt, keeping his face hidden.

"Hey, love," the raven murmured, putting down his supplies and reaching over to smooth his husband's hair back. "Feeling any better?"

Eren weakly cleared his throat. "No...not really," he said.

"Talk to me, love." Levi swiveled around to face the other, who uncurled himself just enough to see Levi's face clearly.

"I don't know what to say..." He blinked slowly, bringing Levi's attention back to the dark circles around his eyes.

"Did you have another nightmare?" Levi continued brushing his hair back, trying to soothe him.

"What do you think?" Eren muttered, his eyes sliding shut again.

Levi sighed softly. He inclined his head to rest his forehead against Eren's, shutting his eyes as well. Carla's words rang through his head, 'You can't force him to open up. He'll have to come to you first, but letting him know you want to listen helps.'

"I'm sorry, darling," he whispered. "I love you so much. You know that, right?"

Levi couldn't help but notice the way Eren shrunk back the tiniest bit he did, and he resented it. "Y-yeah," he managed shakily. "I love you, too..."

"Eren?" Levi sat up, inspecting Eren's face. As soon as he felt him move, though, Eren sat up as well, wiping a hand across his face.

"I think I'm gonna, uh, go take a shower." His hand raked through his hair and moved to the edge of the couch.

Levi could only watch with an ache in his chest as Eren headed for the stairs. Just before he stepped up onto the first one, though, Levi piped up, "Hey, what do you want for dinner?"

"Uhm...anything's fine," he said before continuing up the stairs.

"Eren," Levi couldn't help but call after him again, pushing himself to his feet. "Hey...can I tell you something, love?"

"Yeah, anything." Eren said, turning around.

Heart pounding in fear, Levi met him halfway up the stairs and reached for his hand. "Look...I don't wanna make this all cheesy and shit, but I just need you to know that I'm here, okay? I know the last couple of weeks have been hell on you, and I know how that feels. But I'm here. You can talk to me. Holding it in is only gonna hurt you, and I can't stand to see you in so much pain, Eren. I know you might think keeping it all to yourself is better for everyone but it's not. You of all people should know that."

Eren's lower lids were brimming with tears, his knuckles white from gripping the railing so hard; Levi could feel the other's hand shaking in his own.

"C'mere, kid." Levi reached up for him, stepping up onto the stair with him and hugging him tightly. Eren buried his face in Levi's shoulder, his fists instead gripping the cotton of his shirt in the back. "Don't be afraid, okay? I'm here."

Eren couldn't find it within himself to speak; every word he attempted to muster up felt choked, and he gave up after a few tries. Levi only held him tighter, trying to calm him and reassure him the best way he knew how.