Final part of this chapter~ (And super sorry this is late!!)

---

Eren woke a few hours later to the trembling and whimpering of the other body beside his own. His dry eyes peeled themselves open to the dimly lit hospital room and immediately sought out his husband, immediately finding him curled up tightly beside him on the very edge of the bed, leaving several inches of space between them.

"Levi," he mumbled, automatically reaching for the other. As soon as his hands made contact, Levi twitched and tensed, recoiling from the touch.

"Stop," he whimpered. "Please don't..."

"I'm not gonna hurt you..." he murmured, but withdrew his hands anyway and sat up. Quickly, he shuffled around for the bed controller and switched the overhead light on. As soon as he could clearly see the other, it clicked into place.

Flashback. And it was worse than he'd had in a long, long time.

He remained curled up. An arm was securely wrapped over his stomach behind his knees, nearly tucked all the way up to his chest, and the other arm where the IV was taped down was curled within the cocoon, fingers tangled through his hair. His skin was shiny with sweat, parts of the gown he wore soaked in it while tears dampened his lashes. Whimpers and the quietest of pleas elicited from between his pale, chapped lips. Every so often, his body would jerk in one direction or another and if Eren didn't know better, he'd be afraid he was having a seizure...

All Eren could think to do was stand and go around the bed, kneeling down beside him and gently taking his hand to pull it away from his hair. Normally he'd have put up a fight and pulled it away, but his body was so weak that it was almost too easy. Even so, he rubbed his feverish hand between his own, murmuring soft things to him to try and pull him back, fending off his own tears all the while.

The door cracked open. Eren's head snapped up to find the night nurse slipping through, sanitizing her hands as a frown manifested when she assessed the situation.

"What's going on?" she murmured, sidling up with Eren.

"He's having a flashback," Eren strained, barely taking his eyes from Levi. "I can't pull him out of it..."

"A flashback? Does he have PTSD?"

"Not that he's been officially diagnosed with, but..."

"Hm. His heart rate and blood pressure just went way up, so I came to check. Perhaps I should get an appointment with our psychiatrist in the morning..."

Eren spared an absent nod. At the moment, his only concern was to pull Levi's conscious mind back to the present.

"This happens often?" the nurse asked as she crossed the room where she began scribbling things down on a clipboard.

"Sort of," Eren murmured. "It hasn't happened in a while. It was worse when he was experiencing withdrawals..." Which explained this, and brought back Eren's own memories of those days. "Most of the time, it seems like they stem from dreams, so he's woken up like this before...just never quite as bad. Or as long." He had both of Levi's hands now, rubbing each of his fingers, his palms, his wrists, even his forearms, talking softly to him between his conversation with the nurse.

"Eren...?" he strained out.

"I'm here, love. Open your eyes."

"She won't leave..."

"Shhh. She's gone, sweetheart. She's been gone for years. She can't hurt you anymore, okay? It's not real. You're here with me. Open your eyes, Levi."

"But...they're already open...she's still here..."

"No, Levi. No she's not. It's not real. Come back to me. Please..."

"Why...?"

"Levi, come on. Open your eyes." His voice grew more desperate, his hands never stilling.

"Try touching his face," the nurse suggested softly.

Swallowing back his emotions, Eren pulled a hand from Levi's, causing it to clench back into a fist, and skimmed the pad of his thumb along his cheekbone. His brow twitched, his eyes flicking beneath their lids, but they did not open.

"Levi, look at me. Please," he hushed, gently brushing his knuckles across his sweaty forehead. "I'm right here. Open your eyes..." He caressed his jaw, pushed a strand of hair from his cheek. "Let me see you," he murmured, brushing his thumb over one of his eyelids.

The raven sucked in a sharp breath and his lashes fluttered, finally revealing two exhausted, bloodshot eyes. They were narrowed to slits as if he was confused about what he was seeing.

"Eren?" he managed.

"I'm here," the brunet promised. "I'm not going anywhere."

His eyes opened a little wider, his fist finally loosening and moving toward his face. "Shit..." he breathed shakily. "That...that was..." He shook his head, unable to conjure the right words.

"It's okay. It's over now."

"I...thought it was real...I was there and I could feel everything again and I kept calling your name but it was almost like I didn't know who you were or why..." He trailed off.

"Shhh. You don't have to think about it anymore, love. Do you wanna sit up?"

"...mm, yeah."

Gently, Eren coaxed him into a sitting position, but just as he made it he was caught up in a coughing fit. It was harsher and deeper than Eren had ever heard it, shaking his weak body to its core. By the time it was over, he was gasping for air, clutching at his chest again.

After he managed to regain control over himself, Eren coaxed some water down his throat and the nurse listened to his chest again.

"We'll have to drain your lungs again here soon," she said softly. "Though I think the rate at which your sacs are filling with fluid is finally starting to decrease, which is definitely a good sign. Are you in any pain?"

"My chest hurts like a mother," Levi muttered past rattling teeth, something that was both a symptom of pneumonia and one of his withdrawals. It was no easy task to speak through it.

"I'll up your dosage a little bit, then," she said, checking the IV bags. "And I think it would be a good idea for you to speak with our psychiatrist, though that's completely your call."

Levi's eyes cut over to Eren, uneasiness swimming within them.

"I think you should, love," Eren murmured, rubbing his hands between his own to try and warm him up from the chills. "It might help you...especially after that flashback."

Levi's jaw flexed a few times as he considered it while the nurse worked on changing his IV bags, checking his temperature, and pricking his finger for his blood sugar.

"...alright," he mumbled reluctantly.

~*~

Eren insisted upon spending the next day and night with Levi again despite Alex's attempts to convince him to go home, even as she tried to guilt trip him with Charlotte. She'd shown up just after the psychiatrist left having stated he showed definite signs of PTSD and would have an official diagnosis soon. She stayed for a good portion of the day.

They'd drained his lungs again just after sunrise, as the nurse said, and it'd only left him more exhausted. Eren tried to convince him to sleep, but he refused, saying he didn't want to 'have that dream again'. So instead he ate only to get halfway through a small bowl of soup before throwing it back up. If it wasn't the pneumonia causing him pain and grief, it was his withdrawals. It killed Eren to watch him go through this.

Fortunately, he'd fallen asleep not long after Alex departed as Eren sat beside him, never letting go of his hand and mindlessly watching something he didn't even remember later on television.

The next several days seemed to blur right into each other as their events were so similar. Eren had gone home for a while - home being back to his mom's, who was Charlotte's semi-permanent babysitter - to spend time with his family, but felt odd being away from Levi, even though he was never left alone. He told Charlotte as much as he could without tipping her off and tried not to make any official promises, knowing he may not have been able to keep them.

"Can I see Papa soon?"

"I don't know, sweetie."

"Is he getting better?"

"I think so, but he still has a ways to go."

"Can he call and say goodnight again?"

"We'll try, okay?"

"Okay..."

Needless to say, he felt exhausted in every way possible after nearly a week's time.

The diagnosis, two days after the psychiatrist visited, was official. 'Comorbid PTSD', he called it, and said it had something to do with Levi's substance abuse and the stress disorder being alongside his depression, though to Eren's increasingly tired brain, it was difficult to completely comprehend. Still, it was something of a relief to finally have an answer to his terrible flashbacks and to begin treatment for him.

Fortunately, his lungs needed draining less and less frequently and it seemed the pneumonia had hit a quiet peak and was gradually fading away. The slow detox, however, seemed to be headed in the opposite direction. The day Levi spent the majority of the day in the bathroom because of them proved to be one of the worst since he arrived. Eren rarely left his side.

A couple nights after that, he said something that left a scar on Eren's heart.

"It's a wonder I'm not dead yet..." he'd mumbled, his face partially hidden in the pillow as he was curled up beneath several layers of blankets, another spike in his temperature leaving his body a mess of chills. Only one of his hands stuck out a bit so he could keep hold of Eren's with it.

"Levi..." Eren sighed tiredly.

"'M sorry," he said. "I'm horrible."

"No, you're not horrible." Eren leaned his head down beside the other's, tired eyes fluttering and almost fighting to stay open, just as Levi's seemed to be. Still, they met. "Do you have any idea what it would do to me if I lost you?"

"Probably the same thing that would happen to me if I lost you," the older guessed quietly. "Spiraling depression. More suicidal thoughts than I already have. Absolute loss of hope."

"Something like that." Eren gently squeezed his hand. "I want you to tell me about those thoughts, too. Don't keep them bundled up."

"Hmph. You know I'm too chicken to try anything..."

"No...I actually don't know that. I never know when something might set you off. Make it worse...and be just enough for you to do something permanent..."

Levi returned the squeeze. "I guess I don't, either." He blinked slowly, sucking in a deep breath.

"You can go to sleep if you want to, Levi."

"Mm...I know. I just... I want you to tell me something first."

"What is it?"

"Remind me again why you love me."

"Hmm...that could take all night," Eren said with a small grin.

"I don't care. I need to know. I need motivation to get through this...again."

"Okay. Well...because you're strong. Stronger than anyone I know. The world has put you through so, so much you never deserved and yet no matter what you've been dragged through, you got through it and got back on your feet every time. And to me, that's admirable...inspiring, even. It makes me feel like I can stand up stronger than before, too. That no matter what bullshit is thrown my way, I can get through it.

"And I love that you're so passionate about your art. That you can sit down for hours upon hours drawing the night away and barely get up to use the restroom, let alone eat. And you change peoples' lives with what you do."

Eren went on for several more long minutes, listing absolutely every reason he could think of why he loved his husband until his words were very little more than nonsensical sleepy mumbling. With his own eyelids fluttering as he, too, fought to stay awake, Levi managed a tiny smile and lifted his hand to Eren's cheek, stopping him.

"Go to sleep, idiot," he mumbled affectionately. "You're making no sense."

"Y'sure you're warm enough?" Eren sighed, lifting his head.

"Yeah."

"Okay..." He leaned forward to spare a soft kiss to Levi's forehead before shuffling over to the couch. Levi merely watched as he laid down on his side, draping the blanket the nurses found for him over himself and resting his down atop the pillow. Once he was sure Eren was comfortable, he reached over and switched the light off.

"Levi?"

"Hm?"

"You wanna know the main reason why I love you?"

"Yes."

"Because you're you."

~*~

It was nearly another week before Levi was truly on his feet. And when he was, it was only after he was nearly completely recovered from the pneumonia and the withdrawals were on their last legs. Eren knew he was feeling better because he was more irritable than ever, grumbling about how he'd been stuck in the same room for weeks with nothing but the damn highway outside to look at. As a result, Eren requested they let him walk around the building, and the nurses and doctor agreed it would be good for him to get some exercise.

Slowly, he was able to eat more and more again until he was taken off the IV for good, which was nothing short of a major relief for Eren. It felt like such a close call, watching him deteriorate like that again. Fortunately, most of the color had returned to his face and the dark circles encasing his eyes had faded considerably. Gradually he was returning to the strong, healthy Levi Eren was used to.

"The doctor says you're not contagious anymore, so you can probably see Charlotte if you want. I know she wants to see you," Eren told him one morning.

Surprisingly, Levi shook his head, earning a frown from his companion. "I want to, but I don't want her to have memories of me in the hospital. I mean, I don't want her to see me any less than what she's used to...at least, I still want to get a little better before I see her again."

"I understand," Eren said. And he did.

The next day, a day or two before they said he would probably be released, Alex showed up with a new kind of look in her eyes. Any time Levi would ask what was with her, she would provide nothing more than a stiff shake of her head. It wasn't until Eren had gone down to the cafeteria for lunch leaving her alone with Levi when she finally spoke up.

"I need to talk to you," she said, shutting the door behind Eren and pressing her back to it, not looking anywhere near him.

"Okay..." he mumbled. "What?"

Her heels clicked against the linoleum as she made her way back over to the couch, sinking down onto it and folding her hands across her knees. "You know I'm not happy with you about all of this," she began, only causing Levi to grind his teeth and cut his eyes away from her as well.

"Yeah, and?"

"You made a piss poor decision, Levi. You've got responsibilities. You've got a daughter--"

"Stop," he cut in, holding up his hands, still a little shaky. "I know, alright? I was supposed to take care of her. I was supposed to be there for her and be a good father and I fucked up, just like I always do. If anyone knows and understands the damage I've done because of this 'piss poor decision', and knows there's no good reason Eren should be forgiving me and deciding not to split up, it's me. You don't have to sit here and scold me like I'm some kind of naive child."

The woman crossed her arms, straightening her back. "I know you understand, Levi. I just need you to tell me what the hell possessed you to do it." Venom seeped into her voice.

The raven forced back a swallow. "I don't think it matters what I say to you," he said slowly. "You'll just tell me that it's no excuse and that I'm just a giant fuck up. I already know those things."

"Is that what you think I think of you?"

"Ha! I know that's what you think of me."

"And where the hell did you get that idea?"

He shrugged, mumbling, "Actions speak louder than words, I guess..."

The woman shook her head in frustration. "Levi, back then it was different. You were alone. Our childhood was shit. I know, I was there. Neither of us have an easy time of talking to people about our problems, and we both made mistakes. But I thought you'd grown past all of that."

"It's not just something you 'grow out of', Alex. It's not some shitty teenage phase I never let go of."

"I understand that, but--"

"Do you, Alex? Do you really?" He narrowed his eyes in her direction, his own arms crossing. "I'm not the same 'little bro' you used to know, but that doesn't mean the mistakes of back then don't still affect me now."

The woman huffed frustratedly. "I thought you'd grown, Levi," she said in a lower tone. "You should have more self-control. You have all these people you could've turned to - Eren, me, Erwin, Petra, even Reiner would be there if you needed him, but you still chose the path that put you right in this hospital bed. And when you've got a four-year-old daughter to look after, too."

"So what? You're just telling me what I already know, that I'm an irresponsible, fucked up person. What's your point?" he muttered lowly.

"I don't understand why," she muttered.

"I already told you there's no excuse I could give you to let me off the hook. Because I'm weak? Because I was alone with myself too much? That it's a lot fucking harder than you think to deal with depression and untreated PTSD? None of which you'd understand."

"My point is you could've talked to us," she said. "Before you let it get that bad."

"Well I didn't, alright?" he huffed, throwing his hands up. "I'm an idiot. I fucked up. I'm the least responsible person on the face of the fucking earth, and I deserve every ounce of suffering I get. Is that what you want me to say?!"

"No, Levi! Yes, I want you to understand that you made a mistake, and I want you to own up to it! To man up a little and apologize and try to make it right instead of sitting there in your own damn self-pity making excuses! What you did is more than just plain irresponsible, Levi, it's downright stupid!" she spat.

That left a pang. His throat grew thick, eyes dropping back to the floor with his fists balled in his lap; he flexed his jaw to keep his emotions at bay. "What do you want me to say?" he asked quietly.

Alex stood. "...nothing, I guess. Unless you can give me a good reason you made such an idiotic decision, I don't think I can trust you anymore. Especially around my son."

Levi kept his lips pressed together, staring blankly at the floor. For a short time, the only sound in the room was the ticking of the clock near the television. After what he thought to be about half a minute, the click of Alex's heels accompanied it before he heard the door open and shut once more.

~*~

When Eren got back with his grilled cheese, pickle, bag of kettle chips, fruit punch, and a can of Sprite for Levi, he found Alex to be gone and his husband to be in tears where he sat on the edge of his bed, staring blankly down at the floor with the moisture freely spilling down his face.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Eren murmured as he cast the tray aside, kneeling down to be in front of the other. "What happened?" He laced his fingers between Levi's, watching his eyes drift back into focus.

"Alex..." he mumbled, shaking his head and shutting his eyes. "We got into a fight. She's gone."

"A fight? About what?"

"Me. My stupidity."

"Levi, what are you talking about? What do you mean?"

The raven shook his head and sucked in a deep breath before managing to recount the argument with Eren who, by the end, was shaking his head in absolute disapproval. He moved up onto the bed beside him and held him close.

"She's right, Eren," he managed, forehead resting against a warm shoulder. "All I do is sit around and make petty, ridiculous excuses. I'm too weak to handle my own shitty emotions and that's why I ended up here again..."

Gently, Eren rocked him back and forth. "Do something for me," he murmured. "Think back to the other night...when you asked me to give you reasons why I love you. Remember what I said, and know that everything I said is true. Alex...she can be mad at you all she wants. She can pretend to understand to know what you're going through and be her happy, ignorant, narrow-minded self, and you can just remember that. Don't let her feed your depression. I know it hurts, but it's not worth it."

"But she's not coming back, Eren..." He swallowed back more tears. "She's made up her mind. She's all I have left from my childhood...and now I've lost her, too. Because of a stupid impulsive decision."

Eren pulled himself back, looking Levi in the eyes and cupping his cheeks, catching his tears. "How impulsive was it really, Levi? I'd been gone so much for weeks. It couldn't have been easy on you."

"It doesn't even matter, Eren..." He pulled Eren's hands from his face. "The point is I did it. I could've talked to you. She was right."

"C'mon, love, don't let her plant that in your head. You're already feeling guilty enough. She'll come around eventually. You know she will. She's your sister."

Levi just shook his head. It was clear for the moment that he wouldn't budge, leaving Eren to do nothing but hold him close and comfort him in silence.

~*~

Two days later, Levi was released from the hospital. He wasn't completely back to one-hundred percent, but with the symptoms of his pneumonia down to little more than a cough and a bit of a hard time breathing (nothing too serious, and it wasn't much of a surprise on top of the lung disease already burdening him), while the withdrawals seemed pretty much over (something of a major relief to them both).

"Does Charlotte know we're coming?" he murmured to Eren on their way to the car, hand in hand across the wet parking lot. It hadn't rained since the previous night, but clouds still loomed overhead and the autumn air was chilly.

"Nope," Eren said. He hadn't really stopped smiling since he heard that Levi was being discharged, even through the tedious process of filling out the papers and gathering his things. "Mom does, but she promised not to say anything so it's a surprise."

Levi hummed quietly as he watched Eren slide the duffel bag into the backseat of the car before sliding in themselves. While he was more than relieved to finally be out of that hospital, to finally be feeling better than he had in several weeks, he couldn't help being continuously aware of the damage he'd done; the argument he'd had with Alex played over and over in the back of his mind and he was certain she wouldn't be there for their little reunion, meaning Peter and likely Reiner wouldn't be there, either...

"It's gonna be okay, Levi," Eren murmured, reaching for his hand as he pulled out of the parking lot. "Things are gonna get better. I promise."

"You really think Alex will eventually forgive me, hm?" he murmured, watching the world go by outside his window past the gray of his reflection.

"I don't know for sure," Eren responded. "I'm sorry, Levi."

The raven shook his head. "It's not your fault, Eren. It just means I've lost my nephew, too. And perhaps my job."

Eren squeezed his hand. "We'll figure it out. I know we will."

That was the last of the conversation before Eren pulled up in front of Carla's not long after. They were only just stepping up onto the walk when, as what seemed to be usual, the door open to reveal Carla and a small, dark-headed boy pushing past her to run out and greet them. His skinny arms found Levi first, smiling up at him.

"Peter?" Levi mumbled, dumbfounded. Nevertheless, he returned the hug but looked up at Eren for clarification only to find his husband to be just as confused as he was.

"Welcome back, Uncle Levi!" the boy said, smiling so wide the gap of his missing front two teeth showed.

"Thanks, kid," he responded, manufacturing his own small smile. "Come on, let's go inside."

"He's been waiting for you two all morning," Carla whispered from the doorway when they were close enough to hear. "He stayed the night for Charlotte last night and overheard my conversation this morning when Eren told me you were coming home today. Alex doesn't know yet, though, and we decided not to let her in on it just yet," she explained as she backed inside.

"So you heard what happened," Levi murmured, a hand resting on his nephew's warm shoulder to direct him into the house behind Eren. He pressed the door shut behind them.

"Eren brought me up to speed. I'm sorry, hon, but all of the rest of us are very glad you're home." She took that as her opportunity to reach out and embrace him in her gentle, motherly way.

"Mom's being ridiculous," Peter scoffed.

Carla rolled her eyes in amusement. "'Ridiculous' is his new word," she said with a light chuckle just as a small tan figure ran in from the kitchen, stub of a tail wiggling back and forth at Levi's presence. Grinning lightly, he knelt down and ruffled the corgi's ears, scratched his neck and accepted the welcome.

"Thank you for taking care of him," he murmured to the woman.

"No trouble at all," Carla said before answering the question just on the tip of Levi's tongue. "Charlotte's in here asleep on the couch. We thought you might want to be the one to wake her up."

Levi just barely had the mind to kick his shoes off before his eyes were scouting out his daughter. When his eyes found her, sound asleep on one end of the couch, cuddled up to one of the throw pillows with her purple dinosaur blanket draped over her, a homey kind of warmth filled his insides. It only brought him to realize just how much he missed her after weeks in the hospital.

Ignoring everyone else, he tiptoed over to her and knelt down in front of her, eyes not once leaving her peaceful face - rosy cheeks, soft, ivory skin, chubby and absolutely beautiful with her curls fanned out over the pillow. A small, loving smile graced his features as he lifted a hand and gently brushed back her hair before cupping the side of her face, skimming his thumb delicately over her buttery cheek. A soft, sleepy mumble sounded from her lips before her lustrous sky blue eyes came into view. She gave a questioning whimper, a bit dazed for a moment while she sat herself, up. pulling herself back to consciousness.

But as soon as she realized who she was looking at, she gasped and threw her arms out around his neck, mumbling out his name. "Papa..."

"Hey, angel," he murmured into her hair, hugging her close. "I missed you so much."

"I missed you, too," she sniffled; he didn't have to see her face to know she was crying. "Daddy didn't let me see you."

"I know, sweetheart. He was just keeping you safe."

The girl sniffled again, pulling back just enough to see his face. Sure enough, wet trails had been made down her cheeks, but a spark of happiness glinted within her eyes. "Are you better now?"

Levi nodded solemnly. "I'm better now," he promised. "I'm so sorry for leaving you, darling. I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, Papa," she said, hugging close once more. "Buh don't do it again, okay?"

The raven swallowed around the thickness of his throat, squeezing his eyes shut to keep himself from crying, too. Guilt filled him to the brim for doing what he had and leaving her the way he did, not able to understand what exactly was happening - why she wasn't at home, why he was in the hospital, and why Eren continued to go back and forth for several weeks that, to her, must've felt like so much longer than that. He hated himself for making such an idiotic decision, and in simply holding his daughter close again and feeling endlessly to blame for all of the grief of the past several weeks, he couldn't blame Alex for resolving never to forgive him.

"Who wants lunch?" Carla asked after a few moments, after Levi'd pulled himself up onto the couch and held Charlotte in his lap while Eren sat beside him, making their family complete again.

"Me!" Peter shouted enthusiastically, raising his hand and jumping up.

Carla smiled in his direction. "Come on and help me make it, then," she said as she waved him back toward the kitchen. With an eager, "okay!" the kid scrambled after her, momentarily leaving the other three alone.

"Could we go home after lunch?" Charlotte mumbled, rubbing an eye with her little fist.

"What do you think, love? You ready to go home after lunch?" Eren asked with the hint of a smile, taking Levi's free hand in his own.

"Hm, I think I'm more than ready," Levi sighed, leaning against him, slightly mirroring the grin.

"Me, too," Eren cooed before gently pressing his lips against his husband's.

In that second, in spite of the remaining achiness in his chest, the new diagnosis and the hell he'd gone through in the past week, things felt complete once more. He'd gone down a dark spiral again, very nearly ending up where he'd been those years ago before Eren found him, worn down and on the verge of absolute breakdown, but with the one who held his heart right beside him and the little girl who kept them together and strong, he was okay. He would be okay. And at the end of the day, that was all that really mattered.

---

Super lame ending, I know. I don't even know the purpose of this chapter other than the angst xD And again, sorry for the inaccuracies :/

The next chapter will be up next Sunday, provided I can think of a title for it x'D Also, lemme know if there are any mistakes...I 'edited' this when I was half asleep.