https://youtu.be/tCABR3D6sVw

"No quiero amores, no vengas con tu traición~ Las penas yo las olvido con alcohol, solo yo la paso mejor!" Lance sang happily as he stood on the bed, holding a hairbrush as a microphone. The small UE roll speaker blasted the song, and the whole crew was sitting in the one hotel room, laughing and talking.

Ever since that afternoon, when Keith had helped Lance, held him, Lance was trying to reevaluate his feelings. He knew he was bi, he didn't need to be worried if he was starting to like Keith, but the idea was strange and unnatural. True, he'd initially been attracted to him that day when he saw Keith on the rock, but after Keith had seen his secret, then gave into agreeing to let Lance stay at the Holt's, everything had changed.

Originally, Lance didn't like Keith. At all. He was strange and quiet and moody and sensitive. And Lance was the opposite, loud and happy-go-lucky, or at least he tried to be. If he was really thinking about it, he was actually very guarded, and so it was just as hard for him to open up as it was for Keith, probably.

Lance hid his emotions behind a carefree, jokester facade while Keith suppressed them and pretended they didn't exist. Lance didn't know which method was worse. But whatever it was, he knew that after seeing the care in Keith's eyes today, Lance wanted to be someone Keith could open up to as well. To be honest, the situation had made him feel vulnerable to Keith, as the panic attack was a glimpse of Lance as his most hopeless, desperate self.

He'd been completely exposed, and Keith could've done anything else. He could've done nothing, called for someone else, or not even come at all. But instead, Keith had gathered Lance up in his arms and talked to him, comforting him the best he could.

Lance didn't know what that meant, he didn't know if Keith had any sort of feelings for him, but he was sure they could develop. After today, Lance wanted to see more of that side of Keith. His natural impulses. Lance wanted to open up more to Keith, and have Keith be able to lean on him too, and he'd be willing to work through whatever bad stigma he'd created for himself to show Keith that he was a good person, that he could support Keith. That he wouldn't judge.

Just as long as Keith was willing to as well.

The sounds of the party brought Lance back to reality and as a new song began, he starting singing again. A giant platter of cheese and crackers was on the other bed, and Allura and Hunk were devouring it. They didn't have stuff like this in the village, and it might be the last chance they'd be able to eat junk food in a while. Shiro had also presented them with Oreos.

Pidge and Matt were fidgeting around with a micro-drone, bumping it around the ceiling, and Keith was reclined the in the desk chair, occasionally mentioning things to Shiro, who sat on the floor next to him. He was studying some sort of plane diagram. Boring.

Keith looked up at Lance, frustrated. He needed to tell him, especially after what had happened today. After Lance had calmed down completely, they'd walked back to the group together, earning themselves a few confused looks but no questions.

Keith sighed, thinking over what he was going to say. "I just want to tell you. I don't know if you were thinking this, but I need to let you know. I'm not gay. And I'm not looking for a relationship. I just want to surf and draw and go to school. I'm not gay. I know today in the woods must have been misleading, I'm sorry. I'm not gay. And the night of the painting, that was my fault too. I shouldn't have been so forward. I'm not gay. Don't take it personally. I'm not gay."

Keith's jaw went slack. He noticed that he'd been staring at Lance. Lance was looking back at him. He looked away. And then he looked back at Lance, and as the mer was still staring, Keith stood. He motioned for Lance to follow him out onto the hotel room's balcony. Keith's heart was pounding but he didn't know why he was nervous. This was nothing to be nervous about. Lance just needed to know.

Lance stepped outside onto the tiny balcony and Keith closed the door behind them. They were still visible to their friends inside, but they couldn't hear each other's conversations.

The summer night was warm enough and a bit windy, and if Keith leaned out and looked up, he could see the stars. Keith'd always liked the stars. When he was little he had a constellation map on his door and followed the astrological aspect of horoscopes (how the positions of planets supposedly affected people).

He'd forgotten most of it over the years, but he could still point out the Big and Little Dipper, Orion, Cassiopeia, and others if he tried. It depended on the season, on how much Keith could remember. He still loved the stars, but sometimes they scared him, giving him a sense of agoraphobia. He guessed Lance could probably think of the ocean the same way. Keith leaned against the railing and sighed again, nervous.

"What's up?" Lance asked, curiosity in his light voice. He was wearing pajamas- flannel, plaid sweatpants and a white shirt with "philosophy" blocked over the chest. His hair was messily swept to the side and his blue eyes were like the ocean in the moonlight. Keith sighed.

"Lance... about earlier," he started, nervous.

"Oh! I meant to tell you earlier, about that, that I'm really appreciative of what you did for me. I guess I'm just stressed out, y'know? I don't usually have panic attacks like this, I haven't for a while anyways." Lance was rambling, but he felt himself smiling. Maybe this was the time to tell Keith that he wanted to pursue something with him, he wanted to have a support system, whatever that meant. He was willing.

Lance reckoned he could probably even fall for Keith, in that way. I mean, he wasn't that bad when he was in a good mood. He wasn't that bad at all. He was kind, even. "Nice" was a reach, but kind would do. Keith was a leader, something Lance wanted to be, and rational. Lance guessed that Keith probably had some sort of dry humor under his thick skin, and he wanted to find it. He wanted to trust Keith. He wanted Keith to trust him. If he was willing.

"No no no, I get it, it's fine. I just needed to tell you something, sort of about that. I don't blame you or anything for having a panic attack, I just..." Lance paused. Was Keith some sort of mind reader? Was he about to tell Lance that he was sorry for being a dick, that he really meant well, that he wanted to be closer?

"I..." Keith started, "need to tell you that whatever relationship you want to have with me, I don't want it. I don't want to be attached to you at all. It's not you, it's that when you leave, it'd be better for both of us if we had no strings attached."

Lance felt his smile drooping like a wilting flower. Like a dying anemone. He tried to ask "what?" but the word got stuck in his throat.

"I'm sorry. I must have been misleading."

"You... we can't even be friends?" Lance asked quietly. His hands began to shake. He felt his face grow hot with embarrassment and humiliation.

Keith shook his head. This was harder than he thought it'd be. "I don't want anything, Lance. That way, when you go back to your village, it'll be much easier for you to just forget about me. I don't even think it's wise for you to be friends with Shiro and Matt and Pidge. I'm doing this for you, Lance."

Lance's eyes went sharp, offended. His sadness and rejection twisted into defensive anger. "You think you know what's best for me, Keith? You're "doing what's right"? You think you can just come in here and tell me who I can and can't be with? That's not your place, Keith."

"It's what's best for us, Lance." Keith motioned to the hotel room, and Lance looked inside. He watched Shiro and the Holt's laughing, sunny smiles and happiness pouring from them. "I'm not selfish."

"You know what, Keith?" Lance turned back to him, tears filling his eyes. "It's not my fault that you can't open up. I wanted to help you. I wanted to support you. But something's wrong with you if you can't come to terms with yourself and see that the only thing you really need is to get over yourself."

Keith frowned. This wasn't going the way he wanted it to. "I saw some sort of kindness in your eyes today, but I guess I was wrong about you, Keith. I guess you really the kind of humans we hear about in the village. Blind. It's not my fault that you're unhappy with yourself, Keith. Stop projecting it on me."

"I'm not projecting it on you!" Keith said loudly, "I'm trying to protect my friends."

"Your friends are my friends too. This world is my world too. You can't push me away just because I'm not like you, because you're scared of getting hurt."

"I'm not scared either! I'm not going to let some stupid mermaid come into my life and then leave me!" Keith stopped, biting the inside of his cheek. He hadn't meant to say that.

Lance backed away from Keith, tears pouring down his cheeks. "You're just afraid of getting hurt, Keith. Maybe I am just some mermaid, but you're the one who's stupid if you're just trying to protect yourself." Keith swore he could see Lance's freckles pulse blue, and stripes on the side of his neck- his gills, push through the skin of his neck, but as soon as Keith blinked and they were gone.

"Just leave me alone, Lance," Keith said quietly. He didn't want to fight. Lance turned around without a word and walked inside. Keith felt a tiny bit of himself that he couldn't admit to follow Lance back into the hotel room.

...

Hunk and Allura left the next day with Romelle. It was downcast, and by noon, raining. The group decided to go home instead of leaving the next morning- the mood was tense anyways.

The previous night, Lance went to bed early, even though he wasn't tired. Keith's rejection- the utter shutdown, was hard to swallow and he didn't sleep well anyways, constantly thinking about the way Keith had said: "I don't want to be attached to you at all".

It hurt more than it should have. Lance didn't know what it was, but he felt something towards Keith. The weird shiver that went up his spine when they touched, like when Keith pressed his thumb to Lance's sail and he felt a warm buzz down to his fin.

But that had all gone to shit now. Keith... didn't want that. So maybe Lance just needed to get the idea of Keith out of his head. It wasn't worth it.

So now, as the five stood huddled under a single umbrella in the pouring rain outside of their hotel, waiting for the valet to bring around the minivan, the whole mood was tense and awkward. Lance sneezed- it was a little cold out, and Shiro bumped his arm, muttering a "bless you".

Keith stood as far away from Lance as possible, even if it meant his shoulder was exposed to the rain. He'd been thinking about what he'd said the previous night, and he kept on trying to justify it. This was a good thing. He couldn't take it back anyways, so he resolved to just move on.

Lance definitely didn't look as bright to Keith, though. He didn't know why he was suddenly so concerned about the mer, but something was wrong with him. Keith tried to brush it off as the bad weather.

In an attempt to break the silence, Matt spoke up. "Lance, will you be okay? With the rain and all, I mean."

Lance startled a little, looking up. "Yeah," he murmured quietly, gazing at the grey storm clouds, "I'll be fine." He didn't know if he was still talking about the rain.

Shiro let Lance sit in the front seat, sensing a disturbance between Lance and Keith, so they wouldn't have to sit next to each other, and he could tell that Keith was at least a little bit grateful. He drew in his sketchbook for two hours, and when Shiro glanced over at the artwork, it was a messy, smudged drawing of Keith's parent's home in Texas.

The truth was, Keith wanted to go back now instead of in August. Not only would he get to see his family sooner, but he'd be able to give both Lance and him space, something he thought they needed.

And plus, the Texas air, the southern accents, his parents... that'd all help him clear his head.

...

Hey babes~ uhh so yeah, long chapter haha. I'm driving home from Delaware tomorrow back to NH, so if you live in Delaware or any of the states in between, idk, I'll be in your state hahaha. I love you guys so heckin much,, and I hope you have a great day/night :) also I'm super sorry if there are any typos, I've been writing on my phone and I don't have Grammarly lololol

Qotd: any unpopular opinions? I wanna know guys