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"We should talk about this."
"I knew you'd say that."
"Well, it's true," Shiro said, sitting down on Matt's bed. It was later in the morning, a few hours after Lance had left. Shiro was worried for Keith, he didn't know when he'd be home, but decided it was best to just leave him be. He figured he could explain why Lance was gone later that day to Matt and Pidge, right now he had to address something else.

Matt sat up in his bed, leaning against the headboard. He was shirtless, he always slept that way, and for the first time in a long time, Shiro allowed himself to look at Matt as something different than a best friend. He didn't sleep well last night because of what had happened between the two of them, but not because he was uncomfortable with it. It just felt strange.

"What do you wanna know?" Matt asked, shrugging. His hair was longer than Shiro's, and Shiro had a sudden flashback of knotting his fingers in it last night. He blinked hard, trying to clear his head. They hadn't done anything more than kissing, but it was still pretty intense. Shiro's cheeks went hot as he thought about Matt below him, blinking dazedly as Shiro kissed down his neck.

"How long?" He asked, trying to keep his mind off the fact that he wanted to kiss him again. How long had Matt wanted to?

"Oof..." Matt thought for a minute, "10 years?"

Shiro hadn't been expecting that. His head snapped towards Matt, alarmed. "That long?"

Matt nodded nonchalantly. "It's no biggie."

Shiro ran a hand through his hair, nervous. "I'm sorry," he was grasping straws, trying to think of what to say.

Matt readjusted himself on his bed, looking down, "You have nothing to apologize for. I know that I'm a rebound too, so don't worry about breaking my heart or anything."

"What?" Shiro asked incredulously, looking at Matt like he was crazy. "You're not a rebound."

Matt gave him a doubtful expression. "Allura just dumped you, Shiro. How am I not a rebound."

Shiro shook his head, "You're just not, okay?"

Matt frowned, "So does that mean we're a thing? Or are we just forgetting about the whole thing?"

Shiro sighed, frustrated. "I don't want to forget about the whole thing but... I don't know if I'm ready for another relationship so soon."

Matt nodded, "Understandable," then laughed and added, "I've waited this long, so I don't mind waiting more."

Shiro stuck out his lips in something that looked like a pout, he felt bad about that. Turning to look back at Matt, Shiro edged forward, biting his lip as he said quietly, "That doesn't mean that we have to stop..." He leaned forward, intent on a kiss, but Matt turned his head, smiling oddly.

"Nope. It definitely does mean that we have to stop. I don't want to feel like I'm taking advantage of you, Shiro."

In response, Shiro made that same noise, a hum in the back of his throat and leaned back. He was definitely doing his dignified pout thing now.

Matt sighed, then took Shiro by the chin so he'd look at him. "Give it a few weeks, bud. A month, if you need it. You're still recovering."

...

Lance had been beckoned to Alfor's House. He moved slowly, like he was in mud, and almost didn't notice when a group of younger school children approached him.

"You're Lance McClain, right?" One of the girls said, hands clasped in front of her chest. They all looked to be a few years younger than him, all excited and giggly.

Lance smiled ruefully, nodding. "That's me," he replied, hesitating in the water.

"Awesome..." a merboy said in awe as he swam in dizzying circles around Lance's tail.

"Can we see your lights?" The first girl said, her pale pink fin floating gently in the currents. Lance noticed that, compared to other mers, she was on the less than average side of luminescence. Her cheek markings were mere streaks, and she hardly had any on her hands. He felt a surge of pity for her- had she just a little bit less, it would be considered a handicap.

Lance reached out through his nerve endings and lit his markings, starting from his cheeks and working his way down to the tip of his tail. He was still wearing Keith's shirt, and the lights on his shoulders showed through the fabric. After a few moments, he dimmed his lights and looked solemnly at the children.

The first girl was wide-eyed, almost sad, but everyone else was flickering the lights on the tips of their fins. It was a sign of respect, like applause. Lance had been told by Ulaz and Thace that mers in battle always had their fins lit up- a sign of loyalty to their side.

"I should get going," Lance said quietly, and the group of kids parted, letting Lance swim by, immediately whispering among themselves as soon as he'd passed. He knew they were talking about him.

As Lance made his way up to Alfor's suite, he thought about the events of this morning. As soon as he'd changed back to his mer form underwater, Allura had told him to go back home and stay there until he was called. She had been trying to be stiff, leader-like, but overall ended failing by giving in and hugging Lance tightly. It wasn't his fault, after all.

The transition into a mer again had hurt, but it had left Lance feeling better in the long run. As much as he hated to admit it, a salty bathtub was nothing compared to the sting of seawater through his gills, slicing through currents with his sail, diving deeper than a human's ears could stand.

Yes, he wasn't going to lie- he loved the ocean. He'd always love the ocean. It was his home, after all. It wasn't the ocean's fault that he'd fallen in love with the land too. More specifically, a boy on land. But thinking about Keith hurt too much, so Lance thought about his family instead. 

Apparently, Allura had told his mother about the circumstances, and Elena had been on Allura's side on bringing Lance home immediately. She cried as soon as she same Lance, checking his face, his tail, his fin, making sure he was okay. 

The twins tried not to show it- they liked to try to be mature like Lance and Carlos- but Lance could tell that they'd been worried too. Carmen had launched herself into Lance's arms right after Elena had let him go, and Sebastian hugged his tail tightly, swishing the water up into bubbles. 

Normally, tail color stayed in the family. Hunk's entire household had varying shades of orange for their tails, and Allura took after her father in royal blue. That was why it was so odd that Lance had a blue tail. Sebastian and Carmen's tails were identical- a dark amber, a comical mix of Carlos' grey tail and Elena's orange-hued gold one. 

Lance had thought that he was adopted for most of his teenage years, but every time he brought it up, partially serious, Carlos and Elena laughed, brushing it off. Genetic mutation this, 'from your mother's side' that. He eventually learned to dismiss it, and as beautiful as his brother and sister's tails were, he loved his blue.

His mother then made him tell her everything, everything about Keith and how they were together, everything about how sick he'd gotten. She stroked his hair lovingly, nodding understandingly. And suddenly, Lance knew that she understood. She was separated from her love, too. That brought back a pang of missing for his father, who, for all Lance knew, could be in battle at that very moment.

Lance sat down on a rock slab as Elena prepared lunch, rubbing the sore spots where his scales had fallen out, thinking about his whole situation. Was he just supposed to go back to school now and pretend that everything was okay? Would he ever see Keith again? And even more, after the incident with changing, would he be able to go up to the surface as usual, again? 

Allura had warned him not to change yet, to let himself get used to the salt water and heal back up before he tried changing again, but she looked worried as she said it. There were too many 'what if's and not enough solid answers. Lance was tired of the maybe's. 

There was one question that had stayed on his mind though, and now that he was with his mother, who probably knew the answer better than anyone else he knew, he decided to push aside the awkwardness of it and ask. "Mom, how did you know that you loved Dad?"

Elena nearly dropped the clams she was holding. Startled, she looked at her son. "How did I know?" she echoed, blinking like a deer caught in headlights. "It's not like an epiphany, I guess. We'd met when we were young, and it just blossomed. I do know that I still love him- just because... I'd do anything for him. Your Dad is hard on you, I know that. And it's unfair. But he only says those things because he cares about you. He wants to keep you safe. Carlos can't handle losing someone else he loves- that's why he's so overprotective. And I don't blame him! Lance, look at what happened to you up there, you could have died."

"I lived, though, Mama, and... I learned so much up there. I made friends. Hunk and Allura made friends, too. I don't understand why it has such a bad stigma."

Elena paused her cooking and swam over to Lance, putting her hands firmly on Lance's shoulders. "Mijo, no es seguro. It's not safe. We are mers, and we live in the dark underwater so we can be protected by the ocean. Why would you choose to live with the humans? You could die, Lance. Carino, don't you see?"

"Mama, you sound like Dad."

"And for good reason! Come, mi corazon, mi amor. Quedate aqui."

Lance looked down. Maybe she was right. Maybe he only saw the good side of the human world. Maybe he just conveniently visited the kindest city in the world, and everything else was a wasteland of hurt and anger. The truth was, he didn't know. He had no clue.

...

Upon arriving at the entrance of Alfor's house, Lance was greeted by two guards. Lance knew them well, but they were still required to go announce his arrival and get permission to bring him inside. Their tridents shone, deadly sharp. 

In school, everyone learned how to use a trident, practicing with blunt staffs. Lance had been top of his class in combat, second only to Allura (but she didn't count- she'd been training with a staff since she was two), and he prided himself with it. Of course, he used his speed and flexibility to his advantage, so maybe he wasn't the best in the actual technique, but more of the way he could encircle his enemy and use his staff to knock them from all sides. 

But, to be honest, he wasn't that strong. Sure, he was a deadly sharpshooter with a spear or bow and arrow when fishing, but hand-to-hand combat was tricky for him since he lacked the muscles. And that's why his dreams of becoming a great hero, a soldier, a paladin, were all crushed. Mostly by bullies. 

Oh yes, the bullies. First, it was just little pebbles that they slingshotted to the back of his head in class. Then it was stealing his satchel and smashing his nail polish, his shells. While the mer community was supportive of queerness and sexuality and gender choice, of course, there were still mindsets that discouraged it. 

So who did they target? The mer with the most luminescence of the village, the fastest, the class clown, the top of the class. All because he said that he could like boys too. His mother told him that they were just jealous, but she lost her shit when Lance came home with fire coral rashes all over his arms, a result of being shoved into the bad patch of the reef. 

She rocketed to Lance's school and demanded consequences, seething. It was one of the only times Lance had seen her so angry. Carlos had taken the nurturing role then, which was odd, and packed Lance's stings and cuts with clay, then wrapping them in seaweed. 

Lance drifted back into the present as one of the guards returned, moving out of the doorway to let Lance inside. He thanked them with a nod. 

Through the dark tunnel that led into the living room... Allura was floating upright in the middle of the living room, and she was holding something in one of her firsts. Turning, she noticed Lance in the doorway and beckoned him in. 

"Lance... It's good to see you again. How is your family doing?" She spoke quickly, nervously. 

"They're alright. Worried for my dad, but alright. What's going on, Ally?"

Allura sighed, frowning, "The war isn't going well for us. For our side. We need support from Lotor, and I think I'm the only one who can do that. He trusts me. I trust him, for that matter. But that's another story."

She paused, then took Lance's hand. "I need to go to the war front. We can get there by midnight if we leave now."

By midnight? That fast? How on Earth...? But Allura had said 'we'. "What do you mean, 'we'? How do I fit in?"

"That's why I brought you here, Lance. I talked to my dad about it before he left, and he agreed. If you'll agree," Allura held out what she had been clutching to her chest, and Lance's eyes nearly popped out of his head. "I want you to be my personal guard."

...

hah... what if i had said 'i want you to be my husband' lolol. gotchu guys :P

also i'm really contemplating doing a big plot twist next chapter....asdf jksa;fj kdsl;af jksdl;af i guess you guys'll see soon

qotd: favorite show besides voltron?

iiiii llloooovvveee uuuuuuu sooooo muuuuch~~~