Sandra's wedding takes place on a Saturday halfway through June. It's been a long time coming: two years of engagement, about equally as long in planning, a lot of stress, and the collaboration of both sets of parents. But the day is here and whatever happens now, this will be a day they should enjoy because there is only one of it.

Sandra looks radiant. She and Luis opted for traditional outfits, so she's wearing a white wedding dress, complete with veil and tiara for her princess dreams, and Luis wears a classic dark blue suit with an off-white dress shirt. A hairdresser does both of their hair and while they hired a professional photographer, Edwin can't help but sneak a picture on his phone when they are looking at each other, a quiet joy and awe on their face.

Ellen nudges him and looks pointedly at his phone. "I know," he mutters.

"It makes it feel more real," Luis's mother Sofía says, snapping a picture of her own.

"Exactly," Edwin agrees, relieved.

It is unreal, that his oldest daughter is marrying. She was already an adult with a house and a job of her own, with a steady relationship. A marriage license won't change any of that, except they are spending a lot of money on a single day and will be wearing rings — though knowing Sandra, she might lose hers or she'll stop wearing it in fear of losing it.

Still, it feels like an end and a beginning. A momentous occasion, eliciting a multitude of emotions that Edwin can't fully grasp or name. Pride, love, melancholy, joy. It reminds him of his own marriage to Ellen, 32 years ago. It reminds him of the divorce, too, but only a little because Ellen is standing right next to him and she's still the most important person in his life. He wishes Sandra and Luis the same steadiness and trust, the same deep knowledge that you can lean on this other person, no matter what life throws at you.

The official wedding ceremony is in the town hall, with only the closest family and friends. Ellen and Sofía are witnesses and Ellen holds a short speech. Edwin's parents sit on the other side of the isle, but Edwin has intently avoided them, sticking close to Vincent and Ellen and his daughters. It would have been impolite not to invite them to the ceremony, when they are still Sandra's grandparents and she has reasons to love them (and so does he), but he doesn't want to deal with their comments anywhere near Sandra and Luis. They deserve a day free of drama, and comments there will be, because Edwin has not even warned them he would bring a date, that he has a steady relationship with a man now.

Maybe not the wisest decision, but he couldn't bring himself to bring it up and deal with it, so it will be a trial by fire. The upside is that he has Vincent at his side, that they can't ignore his sexuality when Vincent is right there and undeniably gay. So for now, he pointedly looks ahead at his daughter, his beautiful daughter and her now-husband and his ex-wife, and he squeezes back when Vincent squeezes his hand in support.

They leave the town hall in procession: first the guests, who wait outside to cheer and throw flower petals, then the parents, and finally the bride and groom. Vincent leaves arm in arm with Tamara, while Edwin walks with Ellen. Sandra is smiling wide, and Luis looks dazed. They are swept up in a wave of congratulations and Edwin seeks out Vincent. He will need to do the rounds, too, but he wants one more moment of respite.

Vincent is watching the bridal couple and he asks: "Would you ever want to marry again?"

"I don't know," Edwin says, slowly. "I think I'm old enough now that I don't need that validation. It's just an expectation. Do you want to?"

"Not particularly. For all those same reasons. Marriage is a patriarchal institution and all that jazz." He shoots Edwin a lopsided smile and Edwin shakes his head, amused.

When he turns around, mum stands in front of him, dad just a step behind. "Edwin! We didn't get a chance to speak to you earlier!" She looks him up and down and Edwin is sure she notices his silver earrings with a tiny inset light blue stone, matching the colour of his suit. She might not notice the matching nail polish yet — with tiny white hearts because that's Vincent's sense of humour — but she will, before the day is over.

"Hello," he says stiffly. "Was the traffic okay this morning?"

"No problems," mum replies. "Who is this?"

"Vincent," Edwin says. "My partner."

"Oh." She studies Vincent again and Edwin can see her judging him and finding him wanting. Vincent is not wearing a skirt today, but he's wearing flowing light blue pants in a distinctly feminine cut — "I need to look like your date, darling. I'm not going to wear clashing colours" — with a delicate white blouse embroidered with flowers on top. He didn't hold back on the jewellery either, with large silver loops in his ears and dangling bracelets. Mum will be pleased least of all by Vincent's blue eye-shadow and eye-liner, with silver accents at the corners, even though it brightens up his face and fits perfectly with the rest of his attire.

"You didn't tell us you had a ... friend like that," dad says.

"Totally my fault," Vincent speaks up. "I've been monopolising Edwin's time, introducing him to my friends. You know how it is with new relationships, can't get enough of each other."

Edwin resists the urge to elbow Vincent. Is this really the time to antagonise them? He'll admit it's a little funny, though, the way the dislike solidifies on mum and dad's faces. "Sorry." He smiles blandly at them. Part of him feels bad for not even trying, but he shouldn't need to compromise who he is. Dad literally called Vincent his 'friend' — he might as well be asking for the cold treatment.

Vincent touches Edwin's arm. "I think we should move on, darling. They'll be needing you for the pictures and you shouldn't abandon Ellen."

Edwin takes the offered exit gratefully. He'll need to deal with their comments later, but he can delay that moment as long as possible. For now, he wants to enjoy his daughter's wedding. He poses for the photo shoot in the garden of the venue, with his daughters, with Ellen, with Vincent. His parents are also there, but they don't get the chance to chat with him because he busies himself talking to the hired staff or Vincent or his family.

"Are you enjoying the day?" he asks Luis, who is watching Sandra with her bridesmaids. Bridespeople, since there are men, too. They have abandoned the serious photos and are now doing silly poses, with a little direction from the photographer.

"It's okay. This is Sandra's day."

"She does look in her element, doesn't she?"

"She's very beautiful today. But she's always beautiful."

"I would agree, but I think we're both biased." They chuckle. "Are you looking forward to your honeymoon trip? A quiet cottage in the woods is probably more your style than this lavish party."

"It'll be nice," Luis agrees. "Though Sandra will run up the walls after a few days, I think."

"She can entertain herself in the woods. You know you're always welcome at my apartment if you need some space. That's still true now that Ellen and I aren't together. No shame in that."

"Where did you go if you needed space from Ellen?"

"Outside," Edwin admits. "Running, or drinks with friends. But we didn't often need space after the first ten years. Wasn't really an option with a toddler at home, especially one as active as Sandra. Vincent needs more alone time than Ellen did."

"Really?"

"Yeah. You should talk to him sometime. You read those Japanese comics, right? Manga? He's got a small collection."

"I didn't know that. I will talk to him later."

Their conversation is broken off by the start of the reception and they're both needed to greet the guests who are newly arriving. Edwin steels himself for a long hour of shaking hands and kissing cheeks, repeating variations of 'thank you'. It is only once everyone is settled into conversations, accompanied by champagne and a continuous supply of fancy appetisers, that his parents manage to corner him.

"You have some nerve," mum starts, "bringing — bringing some, someone you're sleeping with to your daughter's wedding. Do you have no shame? This is really not the time to be prancing around. We raised you better than that. Has Sandra even met him before today?"

"Of course she has. I'm not —" Edwin takes a deep breath, and continues in a calmer tone: "Vincent is my partner. I introduced him to Ellen and the girls in February."

"Ellen has met him too? Are you rubbing it in her face now what kind of person you have become? That poor woman."

"Ellen likes him. Everyone likes him."

"And do they all know that you and he ..." She makes an aborted movement with her head, as if that signifies 'fucking', because in her mind, it must be that, something dirty and unknowable that must be kept out of the public consciousness.

"They have to," dad says, "with how he looks. It's outrageous. Nobody would see him and how close you let him stand to you and not assume. Even the way he speaks to you."

"It's really not appropriate for a wedding," mum adds. "Your own daughter's wedding no less. I thought you were still a decent person, but it's clear that guy has a bad influence on you, with your —" She gestures at his earrings, but then grabs his hand, holding up the nail polish. "Look at this. I thought you were normal."

"That's not Vincent's influence," Edwin protests, pulling his hand back, though that might be a lie. If not for Vincent, he would never have tried it. He would still think not so differently from his parents, that his supposed normality, the invisibility of his sexuality, somehow made him a better person. "I can make my own choices and there is nothing improper about him or how I look. I love him."

"You love him," mum repeats, her voice dripping with disbelief. "And how long have you known him? Do you even really know him?"

"Since last year. We've been together since January."

"Since January. And you never told us. Clearly you do know that you have reason to be ashamed of him."

"I'm not ashamed," Edwin bursts out. He glances around them, but nobody gives them more than a short look. His parents at least had the grace to corner him a few metres away from everyone else. He repeats in a calmer tone: "I'm not ashamed. I knew how you'd react and that's why I didn't tell you." Sadness wells up in his chest, slow and inexorable. If he continues speaking, there is no way back. He won't be able to mend their relationship. But maybe that was always inevitable. He needs to accept that they won't ever accept him, that there is no use smoothing things over, hiding his hurt and his identity and his partner. He didn't care much when he was younger and he didn't even care all that much about their judgement when he came out, but he didn't know it could be better. That he deserved full freedom, rather than the scraps of tolerance. Now that Vincent has shown him what it's like to be out without compromise, his parents' continued regard and love is not worth the pain and anxiety.

"I can make my own choices," he states. "I don't need your judgement. It's not wrong just because it makes you uncomfortable. Vincent is a great partner and I'm proud of him and how he never hides who he is. If you can't treat me and him with respect, you won't be seeing me anymore, unless Sandra or Tamara wants to see you. But they support me and their opinion and Ellen's opinion is the only one I care about."

Mum audibly gasps and dad steps forward to grab Edwin's arm, but Edwin pulls himself free. "Excuse me, I'm going to find my partner. I want to enjoy my daughter's wedding with the people who love me for who I am." He marches off and bumps into Vincent almost immediately, who was much closer than Edwin thought he was. Vincent does not waste a second and embraces him, kissing in full view of his parents, who are not even two metres away.

"How are you, darling? That looked like a fight."

"I'm fine," Edwin replies, and he is. "I knew what they were like and I can't keep caring. I need to live my life on my own terms." He wants to travel with Vincent, maybe, or another trip with Caroline. He wants to watch gay movies and listen to Vincent's analysis. He wants to cuddle Tonke, the kitten he got from Eliane, and coax Vincent into liking her. He wants to read gay fantasy novels and pay it forward to children in the library. He wants to go out with his friends, his gay friends, his queer friends. He wants to try new things, things that scare him a little, where he might not 'fit in', but he won't care.

He has so many more beautiful things to see and experience in the decades ahead of him, and he's long past the age where he needs his parents to walk in front of him and show him the way. Instead, he has Ellen, his daughters, his friends, Vincent walking at his side.

He looks forward to it.