It's been at least six months since dad passed away. My mom quit her job, because it was just too much for her at the moment. I've been miserable and I can't even begin to imagine how it is for mom. Loosing the one person you've had by your side and loved since you were a kid is probably the worst thing ever. Not having that person to cuddle you in every night and talk about their day, is horrible. Mom and dad would do that every nightfall. They'd talk about their whole day and how it had been. They would talk about old memories, or just the future in general. Ever since he left us, I can hear my mom talking to herself when she's about to fall asleep. At first, it worried me, but then I realized it was actually something she would do to comfort herself, it was a reminder of him.

When I pack, I usually do it right away, and with excitement, but this time, there is no thrill at all. The excitement of getting to go on a journey and make new memories would always sound like so much fun, but that fact that the journey will be permanent is horrifying. About a week ago, I was informed that my mom is ready to get up and move. She wants to start over. Don't get me wrong, I am so proud of her. The fact that she cried a river and built a bridge to get over it, astounds me. Knowing that she is ready and that she is strong enough, is absolutely amazing, even though Australia is so far away from home, she needs this and I'll do anything to make her happy.

I pick up the last box and put it in the car. Kat came to help me pack earlier this morning, and let me tell you, that without her I would have never gotten done. I get distracted, and she is the probably the most focused human being I know, it's awesome. Every time I'd stare out into space or start messing around with weird objects I found around the room, she'd just snap her fingers at me, saying

"Focus Sam, focus."

I swear she is an angel sent from above.

I step out onto the porch as I stare at my four best friends: Kat, Courtney, Chloe and Kyle. Ever since Kyle told me he was gay, we just became great friends. Not because he is gay, but just knowing that I didn't stand a chance, it made my feelings towards him fade away. I became comfortable around him, never getting nervous, and we just connected I guess.

They are all standing in the driveway, ready to say goodbye. I feel my heart break a little when I see Kat and Kyle with tears in their eyes. They all come towards me, I see that Chloe's about to open her mouth and say something, but nothing comes out, she just starts sobbing. The next thing I know is that they're all hugging me, while crying.

"Sam, I am going to miss you so so much, I promise that I am going to visit you in Sydney, ok? I love you, thanks for being the most amazing best friends anyone could ask for."

Hearing Kat say that kinda makes everything feel better. Knowing that I will see her again and have her by me forever, is so refreshing. I felt like I was going loose everything when I'd leave Illinois. I guess with what Kat just said, it reminded me that these aren't people that I'm just going to forget about in a while, but these are people that will always be with me, no matter what, even if we are miles away.