POV - Alvin

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I woke up at four or better if I say I finally got up from my bed after struggling to sleep in peace. The heaviness in my chest didn't let me sleep the whole night as if it was eating me from the inside and still loading me with regrets. However, I couldn't comprehend why I was guilty about something I had been doing since, well, forever.

Not that I had tried to rape someone earlier but I had done far worse things with people. Horrifying things. Devilish things. Regretful things. And I swear never had I ever felt guilty for doing anything in my life.

Though I couldn't justify my actions, still I swear my intentions were not to force or even harm her for that matter. Yes, I wanted to inflict pain on her. I wanted to punish her. I wanted to make her realise the mistake she made by coming in with my choice but leaving out without granting one. I wanted to punish her for making me believe that she was any different. I thought she had obedience and faithfulness in her. I saw it in her eyes even in a flock of twenty-five other options available for me at that time. Yet, I chose a naive, thinking she would offer me something different. What a fool was I?

Nonetheless, had I ever imagined raping her? No. Never! Not even once! I could never imagine forcing her or even anyone for that matter. That's not who Alvin Hertrich was. In fact, women would throw themselves at me and beg me to fuck them until they go blind but thinking I could force someone is like a laughter in a void.

I didn't know what went through my head the other night that drove me crazy. I couldn't justify my wrongdoings no matter how much I paid her. I was drunk. I got carried away. I let my mind overpower my virtues. My conscience. My morals.Fuck!

Her painful screams, her forlorn eyes, her countless pleadings and her snagged skirt crumbled up around her waist after ripping her dress off were all still revolving in my mind. The beauty of her body escalating last night's mistake, screaming at me, I might have raped her. The more I thought about that incident, the more abhorrence I was accumulating for myself. I could not even imagine how miserable she might be feeling at the moment.

I dressed up hurriedly to head back to the office without having to face her. I needed to get out of this place because I couldn't breathe in here anymore. I would die if I stayed here for much long.

I walked out of my room and while passing by Noemi's room I peeked in to check if she's sound asleep. But what I saw next made me dumbstruck.

She was awake.

She was wearing one of my shirts that was barely touching her mid-thighs, so completely flaunting her long shaped legs. Sweat beaded at her forehead with a few of her dark blonde hair locks trailing down her delicately crafted features. My eyes followed the lines that tapered towards her neck and glided down the soft muscles of her shoulders to her revealing cleavage.

And then I saw a glimpse of her turning bigger as she suddenly opened the door before me. Regardless, I was unknowingly gawking at her, causing her to clear her throat in coyness.

"Um... I was just---uh---you know--just heading out so I thought maybe I can just check up on you," I faltered. Had I ever faltered before? No!

She innocently looked back in my eyes while listening to me so carefully as if I was going to begin a speech. On the contrary, I was struggling to even utter rational words or to form sensible thoughts in my head.

Fuck!

"I think I should get going now. I have an urgent meeting to attend." Which meeting exactly? My subconsciousness laughed at me for lying straight in the face.

"I want clothes," she announced.

"What?"

"Mrs Helena restrained me from carrying my luggage here. She said it disobeys the rules in our contract," she replied with her face looking at the floor.

"Yes, she's right. We do not allow any external stuff to enter inside our premises without my consent, due to some security purposes." I added, "Nevertheless, I'll send my secretary here. We have the best designers in the country, hence you can choose anything you want from our collection."

"No..um..actually, I don't want to wear anything designer, I would want to shop online," she interrupted, her face drooped down and her voice a mere whisper.

"You are not brought here to do whatever you want. I hope you're well aware of this fact." Her eyes twitched and her eyelids fluttered in shame, "Well, I'm sending her, choose anything you want. Okay?!" I urged firmly.

She nodded while tucking a long curly tress of hair behind her ear as her face with scant vivacity, looked so dull and disturbing to my eyes.

"Um...but I allow you to shop online if you don't like what they offer."

Lifting her flawless face, her beautiful lips curled into a pretense smile. Jesus, how much I've messed her up. That smile pierced my heart so I looked away.

"Thanks," she whispered.

"And," she uttered silently, barely audible to any other human being but me, how could I have missed her sweet voice.

"Yes?" I asked curiously.

She lifted up her eyelids. Her dark brown eyes locked in mine, making me feel everything strange and unfamiliar.

"I want to talk to you about something."

My eyebrows frowned deliberately as I stepped ahead to ask what's going on in her mind "About what?"

"Um, I can see you're running late right now. I'll tell when you'll come back." What the actual fuck!? Why did I even lie in the first place?! I couldn't even deny it now.

"Okay! We'll have this talk over our dinner tonight, alright?" She nodded again, and turned around to walk back in her room.

The office turned out to be really hectic. I dealt with bulks of clients, some really important meetings while I was constantly thinking about what this girl was going to talk about.

Maybe she's just pissed off with me right now. Well, what more could I expect from her after what I did last night? She would probably request me to break this contract which was the only thing holding us together. She must be wanting to fly back to her home, far away from me, to a safer place than I could offer her.

I wanted her so badly, but unfortunately, my actions weren't small enough to be easily forgiven.

Why the fuck is this bothering me?! I'm Alvin Hertrich, born to control people on my fingertips.

Nonetheless, if she would ask me to leave her free, I would give her the last drop of her freedom. Not that I had any soft corner for this girl or something, but because she's too innocent, too tender to be corrupted. She couldn't handle the complete movie of mine, if she just got scared by the teaser itself.

She could go back far away from me, from my restrictions, from my fluctuating emotions, from everything. I would set her free. I won't pollute her with my dirty hands.

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I reached home at six, my mind still engaged in endless thoughts about losing her. I hated everything, myself the most. I hated the thought of her leaving and abandoning me again and this time I wouldn't call her back. I couldn't. I must not.

What the fuck is going on with me? I fuck them, I root them, I screw them over and not just physically, like I always have, so why is she so hard to get rid off.

When I entered my room turning on all the lights I saw a note stowed on my bed. I checked it and found it was written by Noemi. Just then I realised I didn't give her name a second thought until now. She was just a badge number 21 whose mistake overshadowed her identity for me. The irony is, I got to know her name when I was about to lose her.

I kept staring at her note for a countless number of times. Re-reading each sentence. Noticing the slants and curves of her writing style. Seeking for something out of her words. But nothing came out.

I had a hot bath of almost one hour, drenching off all the distressing thoughts and fears that were shrinking my mind with every second.

I would usually wear loose and comfy clothes at home, totally contrasting my businessman image. Therefore, I thought of wearing a thin grey singlet pairing up with cargo britches.

I decided to finish some office work that was still pending and also checked the daily analysis of my company. Mrs Gibson offered me a cup of coffee in the meantime.

"Thanks for the coffee Mrs Gibson,"

She beamed a smile and walked out to leave but before that she stopped at the doorstep and said, "Sir, there was a call from someone."

"Call? Whose call?"

She seemed quite nervous and I could feel it because she's not making eye contact with me which was very unlikely of Mrs Gibson.

She replied, "It was from someone named Helena. Although I told her you're not at home, she insisted I put her through Miss Noemi."

"So?" I questioned in sheer amazement.

"Miss Noemi was standing right there and she requested me to---"

"Are you out of your mind, Mrs Gibson? Aren't you already aware about the rules? She's bloody well not allowed to talk to anyone here. You should have known it better than anyone else." I shouted at her.

"S-Sir, I-I know but she really insisted on me so I---" she fumbled on her words and it made me more angry.

"I respect you Mrs Gibson but today you have really disappointed me. Please, leave."

"Sir!"

"Right now!"

Mrs Gibson, my home secretary, was someone I always had my trust in and she had been working for me for a very long time; and she knew everything about my habits, my rules and how I reacted when someone would break them.

How could she do this to me when she already knew everything. And why did Helena call Noemi? And what could they possibly have talked about? Understandably about her freedom, about how evil I was, about breaching the contract as soon as possible.

I just couldn't wait anymore, not any longer. I decided to enter our place before it was already quarter past eight. I wanted to talk to her about what she wanted to discuss in the morning, about Helena and her conversation, and about everything else that is eating up in my mind.

I plunged into the room without a second thought and what I saw next was just breathtaking. The entire room was sparkling with candles. I looked around for Noemi and there she was, bent forward setting to light another candle, totally unaware of my presence in the room.

She was looking so beautiful, seductively taking my breath away. I stumbled a little, the sight of hers solicitly slaying every single cell in me with her incredible beauty. She was wearing something short and loose as if it's just wrapped around her body. It was too much for me.

She suddenly noticed me when I was lost in espying her. Seeing me there, she stood up immediately.

Oh! Fuck. How could someone look so charismatic!?

Our eyes locked into each other's' only this time I wasn't going to hurt her. I wasn't going to make her feel any worse than what she already went through last night. I wasn't going to restrict her from making any decision that could take us apart; because if her happiness laid there, I would want her to follow that path. Well the hell am I thinking, I don't want her to go anywhere.

My eyes couldn't stop staring at her. I felt as if I was a prisoner of her beauty and she could break me however she wanted but all I would want in return from her was to stay. To be mine. To be happy.

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Hey, sweetcorns, hope y'all are doing absolutely fine there and enjoying the upcoming weekend.

How are you liking the story so far? And please spam me with your guesses, what conversation had it had between Noemi and Helena? And what was Noemi planning right now? And mostly importantly, why?

Like, Comment and Share this story with friends if you like it.

Love, Meg. ❤