*car shit, like not to exaggerate or anything I was crying the whole time while writing this.
**I was having potato chips and fried cottage cheese (it's a delicacy where I live though) with one whole bottle of Sprite for me and me myself (that isnt very fetch for my body but..) while here, there and everywhere was playing on loop in my laptop.
**I am kind of cold and fragile. Please!

~~~~~~

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

I cried to sleep last night.

I couldn't take it anymore. This heavy humanness.

I felt so empty from the inside. It was as though I was about to die.

My heart was weeping. Still, with the thoughts of Luna.

Luna, Luna, Luna, Luna, Luna...

That name... it's so beautiful. It melts me.

Luna is so beautiful.

Everything about her is so beautiful and I can literally kill to have her hold me for one last time.

I want her everywhere.

I need her to be here. Run my fingers through her hair, tell her how happy she makes me and everywhere I go, it's her thought that reminds me that I am a human, a complete being, capable of loving and forgiving, caring and sharing.

I wonder if she will ever forgive me.

I am going to see her tomorrow. For the first time in... ages.

It feels so long since I have breathed the same air as her, been in the same room as her and I wonder if I will able to face her.

Especially after all the things I did...

My hands feel clammy as Kathleen drives to Phillip's house.

I am constantly tapping my foot and chewing my lower lip intensely.

I am so nervous and more than that, I am worried.

As we reach Phillip's house, I take a moment to compose myself.

"Kathleen?"

She turns her head to me and stares at me.

"What, Paul?"

"Thank you.", I say, exhaling sharply. "It really means a lot that you... brought me here."

I give a meek smile and force myself to look at her.

Her lips curve into a flat smile and she leans against her seat.

"After all the horrible things I did, Paul...this is probably the least I can do..."

She shrugs her shoulder and lets her fingers trail across mine.

She squeezes my hand in a reassuring manner and that was the first time and the most I have seen Kathleen be a perfect human.

Better late than ever, Kathleen found her redemption.

We step out of the car, Kathleen leading my trail.

We walk into the porch and step inside the main doorway.

It was a warm day with sunny bright sun and a little wind, just enough to dry off the sweat off our bodies.

It was a perfect day to go for picnics, hiking, a swim in the pond, lay down in a lush field of flowers as your beloved makes you a crown of wild flowers and little violets....

I close my eyes and imagine Luna's face...

Oh the beauty.

I can feel her warmth around me, I can hear her soft, monotonous breathing around me, I can smell her scent around me.

She was around me.

I know it. I feel it.

As Kathleen rings the doorbell, I start looking around and something captures my attention.

Phillip and his wife open the door and greet Kathleen but I get deviated and drift away from them and start walking to the garden.

They call out for me but all of their voice seems like background music and eventually fade away into nothingness as I walk to the source of being, which has managed to catch my eye.

My breath stops.

My vision flickers.

My heart pounds.

I see Luna... standing in front of a bush...

Her back is facing me and all I see is how long her hair had grown in these past couple of weeks and also the dress....

The blue dress.

The same dress that I brought for her. The first ever dress that I brought for her.

She-

Her fingers wander over the soft leaves, gently moving them around them.

A cool wind blows over us and her overpowering scent hits my nostrils.

I am so far away from her and yet I can smell her vividly. Clearly.

She shudders and pulls her hand back.

I take a step forward but thought I had taken a few more for I was so transfixed on her.

My body was getting drawn to her like a magnet.

My heart knew she was there and it was throbbing to hold her.

She lifts her head up and watches the sky.

I cannot see her face but I am sure, she has her eyes closed. And whispering sweet nothings under her breath.

Her delicate arms wraps itself around her torso. She hugs herself as she basks and probably sobs in sorrow, that sadly and unfortunately matches mine.

I see her shoulders fall and her empty, bare feet swiveling against the freshly mowed grass.

My soul literally descends from my already lifeless body when her eyes meet mine and all that surrounds us, is the sound of our slow breathing, the tears of joy clouding our visions.

She is even more beautiful than I remember.

Her lips move.

"Paul?"

She mutters, perhaps out of delusion.

She must be having a lot like me these days.

She takes steps towards me.

I back down a little.

She doesn't stop and walks towards me until she is standing right before me and she brings her hand on my cheek to touch it.

I shudder.

A drop of tear trickles down my face when I feel her warm fingertip caressing my cheek and her lips curve in an unbelieved smile.

"It's really you..", she whispers yells, "I can't believe you are here... I thought... *small giggle* I thought this was a dream..."

Her eyes are the same.

Her smile is the same.

Her lips are the same.

Luna is the same.

I was dying to listen to her voice and it takes me no time to break down completely and embrace her tight.

"I am so sorry Luna. So so so sorry. I promise I would never lie to you again. I am sorry! Please forgive me Luna! Please please! I love you!"

Her little arms wrap around my torso and she pulls back from me, her body still pressed against mine.

She places her hand on my cheek and I hold it, still sobbing, not knowing when to stop.

"Don't cry Paul... you don't look good when you cry..."

She whispers, her own tears threatening to burst out any time.

"I am sorry...", I say again through my choked tears, "I am sorry for having loved you so much..."

"And I am sorry for having not loved you as much."

She chokes and I shatter.

I force her chin up and kiss her deeply.

My legs begin to shake just at the feeling of her lips on top of mine.

This feeling, this joy, this happiness....

I have been craving for the touch and taste of her lips for so long, my body couldn't contain it.

I tremble. But Luna's hands keep me steady.

She cups my face and kisses me back passionately.

We both pant hard as we break away but our lips wanted each other again.

We are kissing again in no time, sobbing into the kiss, laughing into the kiss, loving into the kiss....

Our lips swell and turn delicate from all the biting and sucking and when we break away for the final time, a moan leaves from my lover's mouth and I die then and there.

"So... do you forgive me?"

I ask Luna, pressing her forehead against mine.

"I was never angry at you Paul. I never can. I love you.."

"I love...*sigh* I l-love you too Luna... "

My voice cracks and I half laugh and half cry as I lift Luna from the ground and smother her face with kisses.

"Oh my God! Put me down Paul!"

Luna giggles, jabbing my shoulders playfully.

With my heart now filled with unbridled joy, I put her down and look at her endearingly. With the eyes of a man in real love.

"You are so beautiful, Luna.. I missed you..."

I stroke her cheekbone gently and the familiar blush appears on Luna's soft skin.

"Well..", Luna pulls away from me and fixes her hair, "you didn't tell me anything about my dress."

She spins around and twirls her skirt around, giggling.

"How do I look?"

There are more than 170000 words in the English Language and yet I won't be able to sum up how beautiful she is.

"Heavenly..."

I only say.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

*a/n

Peace and love!!
💝💞💓💘💗💕💖