Thomas is silent as we walk back to his favorite spot. Like when he brought me here earlier, we don't stop by the sitting area; we go straight to the lake. I now realize there's a sort of wooden deck here, and as soon as we stop there, he sits down, resting his back on a pillar and motioning for me to sit by his side.

"I grew up here... Chasing the animals around and learning about how to take care of them with my dad," he says after I sit.

I cross my legs and turn to him. "Is he a vet too?"

"He is. The best I've ever known." He keeps his eyes on the lake. "I got my passion for animals from him. Like I told you, I opened a clinic with some friends after I graduated, but my father is the major partner. He helped us with everything in the beginning. We call him boss from time to time just to tease him and because we all know he has no intentions of actually working there."

"Are your friends here today? I'd love to meet them."

"They are. And they're dying to meet you. I just..."

"What?"

"I just want to hang out with you alone for a little while. I really missed you, Lisa." He turns his face to me, a small smile on his lips.

"Thomas..." I whisper, afraid of where this is going.

"I know. I know. Remember when I told you we're a bunch of animal lovers striving for a more humane world? he asks and I nod. "Well, I just got a call for an eight-week mission overseas. I don't know all the details yet, but I have a meeting tomorrow afternoon and I leave on Monday morning."

"What is it that you'll actually do?" I ask, already missing him.

"It's volunteer work, actually. I don't have all the details yet. I've been working with this non-profit organization since college and they know they can count on me whenever they need me. Apparently, one of the volunteers got sick, so they called me to fill in."

"Where will go?"

"South Africa."

"Wow! All this effort you guys put in to help others... You're amazing, Thomas." I squeeze his hand, willing my heart to stop beating so fast. What he's doing is so incredible and brave and selfless. Yet, a small part of me hates that he's leaving.

"I'll miss you." He searches my eyes, and when I don't say anything, he looks down.

"I'll be right here when you come back," I whisper after some, my hand finding his.

He says nothing for a long time, just keeps looking at our hands. I've never had this kind of feelings for a guy before. A mixture of fear, admiration, respect... longing. It's like there's something pulling me to him, even though we've just met each other. I want to say something, do something, but nothing comes out of my mouth.

After what feels like forever, but it's probably been a couple of minutes, he breaks the silence. "You said you booked a hotel for the weekend but... would you consider staying with me? I wanted to show you around and... and just- I really want to spend this weekend with you."

"Oh..."

"I promise you no funny business." He gives me a small smile, but that trace of humor is there in his eyes.

"I just... Can I tell you something?" I ask, forcing myself to move on from the fear that's been holding me back since I can remember.

"Anything." He looks into my eyes.

"It's been a couple of years since I spent the night at a guy's place. The last time I did... He... he..." I look down, embarrassed.

"Did he hurt you?" He holds my chin up, so I'm looking into his eyes.

Swallowing, I nod. "He tried to."

"Jesus, Lisa!" He runs his hand over his head, his jaw ticking.

"He didn't get that far, but I was pretty shaken up, you know. I felt so depressed and guilty. I mean, I had gone to his place... but in the end, I-"

"Hey, you don't have to explain your actions. No means no, Lisa! No matter what, no means no! Fuck!" He shakes his head, clearly exasperated.

"Thanks. Besides my friend and her ex, I haven't really talked about it with anyone." I look at him, making sure he understands where this is going. Our feelings are all over the place here, so I don't want him to think I'm just trying to play hard to get, or that I might be insinuating I' want more if I agree to go to his place. I know he's nothing like that guy, but I feel like I have to put it out there.

"I understand if you want to stay at a hotel, really. I'll pick you up-"

"I want to move on from it." I take a fortifying breath. "I want to feel like my old self again. I just don't know how." I rub my face, trying to block the images of that night from my mind.

"Lisa, look at me," he says and I look into his eyes. "I would never force you into anything."

"You're different from any guy I've ever met." I press my hand to his heart for a second, earning a small smile from him.

"Is this a compliment?" He smiles back.

"Yes," I whisper and look from his eyes to his mouth. Only when I look back into his eyes,  I see the moment they dark with lust.

"Don't look at me like that..." He whispers, swallowing hard.

"Like what?"

"Like you haven't just friend-zoned me a few weeks ago."

"I..."

"I want you in my life, Lisa! I really do. I've come to crave our crazy texts, and I was going crazy, thinking you'd cancel on me today. If we go there and I lose you... I mean, we clearly don't have the best record on relationships and... I don't want to lose you." He searches my face.

"Now, who is friend-zoning who?" I chuckle, wondering how I put myself in this situation.

"Damn it!" He rubs his face and stands up. He rubs his neck then and shakes his head, murmuring something to himself.

"Are you okay?" I chuckle at his frustrated face.

"And don't be cute, too!"

"Okay. So, no looking at you like I haven't friend-zoned you and no cuteness. Got it!" I roll my eyes and stand up too, turning my back to leave.

"And no short clothes!" He throws an arm over my neck, pulling me to him as we walk back to the main area.

"Anything else?" I cross my arms, not holding back the sarcasm.

"I'll let you know if I need to add something to this list."

"You're ridiculous!" I scoff.

"And you're mean. But I can't seem to stay away, right?" He looks down at me and I roll my eyes again.

I choose not to reply, and we walk the rest of the way in silence. I have no idea of how to define these crazy feelings I'm having. But I have to admit he's right in a way, too. He's always believed in love but has never really found what he's been looking for. Me? I've never had a serious relationship, so I wouldn't even know how to start one. For us, getting involved with someone has always come with a deadline.

I won't deny it and say there's no attraction between us. But I also truly like him. He might be a dork sometimes, but I do like him. And now I admire and respect him too. I might even think he can be amazing when he's not annoying the crap out of me, of course. But should we go there and risk not being in each other's lives if it doesn't work?

"Lisa?" Thomas squeezes my arm, pulling me back to earth.

"Sorry, were you saying something?"

"My mom just texted me asking if I'm done hiding you. She's in her office and would love to meet you." He searches my eyes.

"Oh sure, of course!" I nod, but he stops walking and turns me to him.

"Talk to me."

"What do you want me to say?" I sigh.

"Say you won't go thinking crazy thoughts. Say we're fine and that we'll be fine when I come back. Say you'll spend the weekend with me and that we'll have a nice time. Say I'm not alone here and that this friendship is fucking important for you too," he says, looking into my eyes so I can see how serious he is. And I'll be dammed if it doesn't make me melt a little inside.

"Yes to all of that, Bubbles!" I throw my arms at him, surprising both of us with a hug.

"I was ready for a fight..." He murmurs.

"And I'm ready to meet your mom. Come on! Let's go." I pull his hand, and he shakes his head.

"You're crazy!" He chuckles.

"And you love it!" I laugh.

"Damn right!" He holds my hand as we walk to his mom's office.

_____

A/N: Ahhh Thomas... *sigh*

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XOXO

- Celeste