SSFY EPILOGUE PART 1

“Going to school early?” Dos asks me as I was fixing my things and rolling my plates so I could put it in the canister.

“Can’t think properly here,” I answered. Sa school na lang ako gagawa ng plates, I feel suffocated in this house, I really get it why Tres doesn’t want to live here.

“Right,” he affirmed at what I said. Dos is getting ready for his training early in the morning, he’s a football player that’s why sometimes he's early or sometimes he goes home late.

“Why do you even chose engineering? I mean I think whatever course will be fine for uncle as long as it’s not art related.” I didn’t even know why I chose civil engineering. I wanted to pursue music but my parents totally hate the idea that I actually thought if it was really that bad. I felt bad for myself but anyway I can always pursue it once I finish engineering kaya lang mukhang ako ang tatapusin nito.

I really don't get why some parents are looking down on a profession related to art when at some point they also enjoy the products of it.

“It's just that civil engineer sounds good. That’s it.” I actually just chose some course that will earn me a title with some board exam and a course that’s not related to business, ito na lang rin siguro ang lowkey pagrerebelde ko sa mga magulang ko for not being so supportive. If I picked some business course they might just force me to take part on the company sa Spain which is a really a bad idea for me.

“I’ll go now,” paalam ko kay Dos, he’ll leave the house too any minute pero mauuna na ako since magkaibang sasakyan rin naman ang gagamitin namin.

Dahil maaga pa naman, mabilis lang din ako nakarating sa school but if I know marami na agad tao sa library kahit na maaga pa so I’m really hoping for a good spot na bakante or kahit hindi na good spot basta bakanteng table in which kasya ang plates ko dahil iyon naman talaga ang ipinunta ko.

When I came to the library, it wasn’t that jampacked but I guess malapit na lalo na kapag nag 8:00 na, dadagsain na ng tao dito.

Luckily, I got my self a 6 seater table for my big ass plates, I still have 2 to render pero tanghali pa naman ang pasahan so aabot naman ata ako.

I just did what I need to do, hindi ko namalayan ang oras. Tumigil lang ako nang medyo sumakit na ang batok ko, the libary’s full already. Hindi naman ako nahihiya na sakop ko ang 6 seater table na ito dahil marami namang gumagawa ng plates nila dito at nag-o-occupy ng malakihang table.

Sa may harapan nga, mga two tables away tapos sa may right may babaeng gumagawa ng plates e, she’s even using watercolor for her title board. Maybe she’s an architecture student.

“You need a table?” I heard that archi girl offered to another girl na kararating lang at mukhang namomroblema. I sat on one of the chairs I occupy while resting my head.

I tilted my head a bit to see the archi girl’s face, I just want to know how she looked like because her voice sounds nice. Ang amo kasi, malay mo gano’n din itsura niya.

“Okay lang po ba? Tapos ka na po ba?” the other girl asked her. Agad na niligpit no’ng archi girl ang gamit niya, I could hear them because it's quiet here kaya kahit medyo faint ang boses nila I could hear them.

“Hala Ate, tapos ka na po ba?” guilty na sabi noong isa pang babae. I just continued watching them talk as I rest.

“It’s okay, marami ka pa atang kailangan tapusin,” the archi girl replied. Ang amo talaga ng boses, feeling ko kung nakikita at naririnig lang ang anghel ganito boses no’n. I fight the urge to laugh at what I’m thinking.

“Galing pa po kasi akong trabaho, hindi ko naman po alam na ganito karami ang tao kapag ganitong oras,” the other one answered, she’s a freshman for sure that's why she doesn't know.

Finally, the archi girl turn to the other side of the table to get her things that’s why she’s facing at me already.

And yup, kung anong ikina-amo ng boses niya gano’n rin ang mukha niya. I was taken aback for a bit. She’s really beautiful I can say.

She’s like a personified breath of fresh air.

“E ate saan ka po gagawa? Mukhang hindi ka pa po tapos,” the other girl asked the archi girl, though I think they’re both taking architecture base on the plates they are holding.

“Patapos naman na ako so baka sa drafting room na lang hopefully wala pang klase.” She smiled at her and I felt like my heart thumped as she smiled, feeling ko ako ‘yung nginitian niya.

How can a girl be this nice? I mean in and out? Single kaya siya? Napailing na lang ako to brush off the thoughts that are coming to my head.

Binitbit na niya ang backpack niya and I unconsciously rolled my plate for her to have a space.

Padaan na siya sa table ko at nakita ang ginawa ko kaya napahinto siya sa tapat ng table ko.

“Hey, are you perhaps going already?” she looked at her watch as she asks me.

“Nope, but I stopped for a while, you can do yours while I’m resting I heard patapos ka naman na?” I answered. Mukhang nagdalawang isip pa siya before putting her backpack on one of the chairs. She smiled at me. “Thank you.” Why is my heart fluttering at the mere sight of her smile?!

What is wrong with me? I mean I get that she’s beautiful like an angel but did my heart already flutters for her that fast.

I just watched her do her plate and wait for her to finish, that I even forgot that I have my own deadline. “I’m done, thank you,” she said tapos nagmamadali na siyang nag-ayos ng gamit.

“Welcome, Adria,” I answered. She looked shocked nang banggitin ko ang pangalan niya kaya tinuro ko ang pangalan, section, at subject niyang nakalagay sa plate niya at napatango na lang siya and wave a little at me before going.

“Gosh, I’m so annoyed!” reklamo ni Thylene habang nandito siya sa bahay. Napakadami talagang time ng babaeng ‘to, by the way she’s an architecture student also and 2nd year too but I’m afraid to ask her about Adria, I feel like ang stalker ko.

“Ano bang nagpuputok ng butse mo diyan, Thylene?!” inis na tanong ni Dos habang busy sa paglalaro sa PS4 niya.

“What’s butse Demetri?” maarteng tanong niya na parang nakalimutan na niya na nag-ra-rant siya kanina.

“Tanong mo sa mama mo,” walang kakwenta-kwentang sagot ni Dos at hindi man lang maalis ang mata sa screen.

“Why are you even here, Thy? Tres is not staying here you know that,” tanong ko sa kaniya. “I know that of course! But wala akong mapuntahan alam niyo naman wala akong friends.” Dos scoffed. Thylene is a social butterfly marami siyang kilala that’s why sa sobrang friendly niya she doesn’t even know who’s true to her among them.

“But anyway, they are pressuring me to run for SC as a representative e ayaw ko nga baka malaman nilang I’m not that smart,” nakanguso niyang sabi kaya ayan tinawanan siya nang tinawanan ni Dos dahil sa sinabi niya.

“Hindi pa ba alam ng lahat na hindi ka naman talaga ganoong katalino?” malokong sabi ni Dos bago binitawan ang controller at umupo sa kama kung nasaan kami ni Thy habang kumakain ng chips.

“Tuwang-tuwa ka naman ha!” Binato ni Thy si Dos ng unan pero nasalo naman ni Dos iyon. Napailing na lang ako sa sinabi niya.

“Tsaka that Adria is running too and for sure she’s going to win even I, wanted to vote for her, cute niya e.” Napatingin ako sa kaniya while fighting the urge to ask more. Is she talking about the Adria I know? Is that name even common at school?

“Ayon po, gusto lang po namin malaman kung may interested ba to run for 4th year representative?” the 5th year guy said. I swallowed hard and took a deep breath. Uno don’t do it, think about it wala ka namang iaambag doon. You can always find a way to get close to that girl.

But what if this is the only way?

I ruffled my hair in frustration and raised my hand. “Oh? Ayon, name mo kuys?” the 5th year guy asked and walk towards me so I can list my name on the paper he was holding.

Uno Azielle De Franco- CE 4-1 – 4th year representative

And the rest was history.

I ran for that position but I knew I wasn’t responsible enough. Ano ba naman kasing pumasok sa kokote ko at gustong-gusto ko makita ulit si Adria? She's like a loud sound I can't get out of my head yet sweet one that I wanna hear all over again.

Ayan tuloy I won the elections but I feel like I was scammed!

I never saw her in meetings tapos she never answered sa groupchat, parang pinahirapan ko lang ang buhay ko so I decided to quit because I knew I wasn’t fit for it. I ran for the craziest reason possible gusto kong sapakin ang sarili ko.

“I can’t handle the pressure and the work load,” I explained as if there’s a lot of work load for a representative like me.

“Sure ka na? Sayang naman,” Kairo said to me but I nodded. There’s a process for it so hindi naman basta basta na lang na aalis ako, I had to wait for a couple of days.

I did a lot of things that I don’t do in a normal basis because of her. Napadalas ang pagtambay ko sa library especially kapag alam kong may major plates si Thylene ay pumupunta ako ng library kasi same naman sila ng year ni Adria, it’s just that they are in different sections.

“Maaga ka pala ngayon? Sira sasakyan ko kaya ginamit ko iyo,” Dos said while I’m talking to him sa phone dahil paalis na sana ako pero wala 'yung sasakyan ko.

“Ayaw mo kasi gumising kaninang paalis ako e kaya tinext na lang kita hehe commute ka na lang muna ngayon pre!” And this guy still had the audacity to laugh at me when he caused me a lot of inconvenience for today.

And there I met Adria again because of that pero parang ayoko na ulit magpakita sa kaniya, badtrip kasi ako kay Dos at dahil sa kundoktor na papasok nang papasok ng tao ngayong wala na ngang space sa loob, kaya napili ko na lang matulog tapos feeling ko nabagsakan ako ng kung ano sa ulo ko ‘yon pala plates niya iyon, nagalit tuloy ako and said things bigla. I thought she’s some girl who is so entitled that every man will give her seat just because she was standing. I mean I can do that to her and to anyone I just thought she woke me up on purpose for that kaya ako nainis.

She said sorry again to me after going off the bus and there I realize who she was and I confirmed that she wasn’t really that girl I thought she is inside the bus. She’s too nice so I know she wouldn’t do that to me. Nahiya ako ng sobra at umalis na lang . As I reach the school I just ruffled my hair in frustration. If our first meeting didn’t have an impact on her for sure this one mayroon. Wrong move Uno!

The next day was my supposedly last day in SC so I went there in the afternoon to give Kairo my resignation letter but as I was walking towards the room I saw Adria walking towards that room too, maybe she’s finally attending the meetings.

Ang timing naman niya, kung kailan mag-re-resign na ako e!

I had to argue with myself for minutes before keeping the resignation letter in my bag and continued walking towards the meeting room.

“Oh Uno, akala ko ba you quit?” bungad na tanong sa akin ni Kairo nang pumasok ako sa room, tinubuan tuloy ako ng hiya pero hinayaan ko na.

“Sa pagkakatanda ko wala naman akong choice?” I said nang walang emosyon para kunwari hindi pa rin ako interesado at napipilitan lang ako.

Buong araw ko yatang inantay ang chat niya kinabukasan dahil naka-assign din sila na alamin ang mga sasali sa pageant tapos kailangan nila i-send sa akin, hindi ko nga rin alam bakit sa akin i-se-send pero hindi na ako umalma dahil nga for sure i-cha-chat ako ni Adria para doon dahil 2nd year representative siya. Alam ko, nababaliw na ako hindi ko rin alam anong ginawa niya sa akin. Imposible naman yatang ginayuma niya ako no?

“Kanina ka pa tingin nang tingin sa phone mo, girlfriend?” tanong ni Aldrin sa akin, blockmate ko.

Napailing na lang ako sa kaniya bago itaob ang phone ko at kumain na lang, mukhang wala yata talagang balak iyon na i-chat ako. Baka galit sa akin dahil sa ginawa ko no’ng nasa bus kami?

Hinayaan ko na lang at hindi ko na inantay ang chat niya, makikita ko naman siya sa meeting mamayang hapon.

At kaya pala hindi ako chinat ni Ada magdamag ay dahil wala naman palang gusto sumali sa mga 2nd year.

I wanted to help her, I know mapipilit ko si Thylene to be their representative but I don’t know how to approach her because of what happened sa bus, nahihiya pa rin ako sa kaniya but I have to keep it cool.

“Kaya mo hanggang Friday? Sure ka?” tanong ko sa kaniya and she looks so unsure habang nag-iisip siya ng isasagot sa akin.

“Uhm...paano kapag uhm hindi?” I wanted to smile because she looks cute while answering me. Bakit ba parang inaaway ko siya sa itsura niya ? Nagtatanong lang naman ako.

“Edi hindi, ako na bahala,” I said tapos umalis na ako dahil I know it’s not the proper way to offer my help but hindi ko kasi alam paano ko biglang babaguhin ang approach ko sa kaniya but anyway uunti-untiin ko na lang. Wala rin naman talaga akong ‘nice guy’ image.

“Uno, stop pestering me! Ayaw ko nga! So hassle.” I’m in the mall with Thylene, nagpasama kasi siya and I gladly complied kasi nga may kailangan ako sa kaniya kaya hindi dapat ako ma-annoy sa kaniya and also okay lang din naman talaga sa akin na samahan siya. She's like a sister to me.

“C’mon you said we are friends,” panunumbat ko sa kaniya kaya napatigil siya sa paglalakad and glared at me.

“Ayan friend mo lang ako kapag need mo ako?! Anong pinagkaiba mo sa so called friends ko,” she hissed so I felt bad for her. Hindi naman ganoon ang tingin namin nila Dos sa kaniya. Para ko na nga siyang bunsong kapatid.

“Don’t say that Thy,” I said in a soft voice to calm her down.

“Adria just needs help.” Pinaningkitan niya ako ng mata as if she’s sensing  something.

“Someone’s crushing,” mapang-asar na sabi niya at nagpatuloy na sa paglalakad at pagtitingin-tingin ng mga damit na hindi ko alam saan niya isusuot.

“I’ll tell you where Tres lives, sumali ka lang,” I desperately said and her eyes sparkled as she cling her arms on me.

“Talaga?! Sige, I’ll sign up bukas agad!” excited na sabi niya kaya napailing na lang ako at nagsorry kay Tres sa isip ko.

I had to go with Adria to buy some materials that we needed for the program and yes, it was a win for me. Maybe we could be close because of this kaya lang halatang first time niya sa lugar na ‘to, she’s easily amazed by everything that can be bought especially kapag nalalaman niya ang price. She’s adorable to watch and yes a lot of guys thought so too.

Muntik na nga akong mapaaway dahil doon, she looks very guilty and she said sorry at me. I really don’t like her saying sorry for the things out of her control she’s too nice for that, she doesn’t deserve being treated like that.

I put my cap on her kaya nabigla siya sa asta ko sa kaniya. “Bakit?” she asked as she slightly adjust the cap on her head.

I got her ‘too cute for me’ tote bag at isinukbut sa balikat ko. “You attract too much guys,” I answered bago siya hinatak paalis.

Ginagabi na kami lagi sa school kasi nga busy kami sa CEAT week. As we are walking palabas ng school naririnig ko ang usapan nila Ada at Kairo na kakain yata sila sa Mcdo. I walk with them kahit na hindi naman iyon ang daan papunta sa parking, hindi ba nila ako aayain?

“Mag-b-bus ka ulit?” tanong niya sa akin. So wala pala talaga silang balak ayain ako? Bakit silang dalawa lang ang kakain? Nagugutom rin naman ako ah.

“Sa malayo ko pinark,” disappointed na sagot ko pagtapos ko umiling.

“Una na kami, ingat ka,” paalam niya sa akin kaya naglakad na lang ako sa opposite na daanan ng kanila.

Nang makalayo na sila ay pumunta rin ako sa kung saan sila naglakad.

The things I do for her, minsan hindi ko na rin kilala ang sarili ko. They were busy laughing when I came kaya kumain na lang ako sa katapat na fastfood chain ng Mcdo at doon dinamdam ang nangyari.

Bumalik na rin ako kaagad sa kung saan talaga ako nagpark sa may school dahil paalis na yata sila at tama nga ako naabutan ko si Ada na mag-isa pauwi akala ko ihahatid pa siya ni Kairo e.

I don’t get why Ada’s just letting Paula bully her, grabe na talaga, ang understanding ng babaeng ‘to. If ever there will be a time na sasabunutan niya si Paula, honestly speaking maiintindiham ko siya but then she never did.

She even injured herself because of Paula, hindi naman ganoon ‘yon sa classroom pero pagdating kay Adria hindi ko alam bakit siya gano’n, wala namang ginagawang masama sa kaniya ‘yung tao.

Sa sobrang inis ko kay Paula naibunton ko tuloy kay Ada “stop saying sorry, it’s annoying.” I regret it as soon as I said it kaya umalis na lang ako, hindi ko nanaman alam paano ako babawi sa kaniya. Nakakailang points na ako ha.

I heard Kairo will help her with the backdrop that she’s making so I thought that I could also help her to make it up to her kaya ayon sumama ako sa kanila sa condo niya kahit parang ang thirdwheel ko.

When did they become this close? I don’t know if it was jealousy that I’m feeling right now but whatever it is, I don’t like it.

“Ano lang tinatanggap mo?” she asked me while we are busy setting up the stage designs. I didn’t answer her because I don’t want to go cheesy on her, she might be weirded out.

“Good morning? Good night? O baka naman I love you?” I was taken aback with what she said napatingin tuloy ako sa kaniya.

It sounded nice kung sa kaniya rin lang manggagaling, she smiled a little and she look like she just realized what she said kaya umiwas siya ng tingin.

“Just finish that, ang dami mong alam,” I answered to my defense. Hindi na rin niya ako kinulit after that.

I’m asking her for help para tigilan ang pagpilit sa akin na kumanta sa harapan, may mga gig naman ako sometimes, it’s just that iba kasi kapag may kakilala kang manonood, especially when she’s watching.

“Can’t you do it for us?” she asks me imbis na tulungan ako. She even made that cute face na hindi ko maintindihan but it feels like it was casted with a spell that really made me sing in front.

The power she holds in me, tsk.

After the exams, I’ve got a lot of time again that’s why I accepted gigs again because I really love doing it, kahit na ba hindi ko na iyon maging trabaho talaga in the future, okay na ako na I get to sing from time to time.

Nabigla ako nang makita si Ada with her friends sa isang resto bar kung saan ako kumakanta, hindi ko na tuloy naialis ang tingin ko sa kaniya. Inaya nila ako sa table nila and I gladly accepted the offer, they are talking to me pero medyo na-di-distract ako kasi umiinom siya. She told me she doesn’t drink before so there must be a reason why she’s drinking now and as a first timer malalasing siya agad for sure.

Sinamahan ko tuloy siya papuntang CR dahil mukhang hilo na siya, medyo matagal siya sa loob ng CR gusto ko man siya samahan dahil baka nasusuka siya ay pinigilan kong pumasok sa loob.

“How are you feeling?” agad na tanong ko as I held both of her arms para alalayan siya.

“I think...”

“I think I like you,” she said. Nabigla ako sa sinabi niya of course pero tinatak ko sa isip ko na baka lasing lang siya.

But everyone knows that a drunk person speaks his sober thoughts. I wanted to be happy that she likes me because obviously I like her too but I don’t want to pressure her, I want her to tell me that she likes me when she’s sober and when she’s really willing to tell me not just because she's under the influence of alcohol.

I know Ada had issues with her mom the way she always dodge questions about her but I didn’t know that I’ll be witnessing it. I saw everything that happened during the wedding, I didn’t thought that she was really her mom kaya pala she's crying really hard.

The moment she ask me to run away with her, I didn’t even had second thoughts, I just want to get her out of that place.

I promised to myself to make her happy while we are in La Union so that she could forget everything for a while, that’s why I never ask her questions about the wedding and her mom.

I fight the urge to laugh habang tinitignan kung paano kumunot ang noo niya habang iniisip kung ano bang sinusulat ko in her arms.

I Love You

But she didn’t get it, hindi ko alam kung dahil medyo tipsy na siya kaya hindi niya gets or ayaw niya lang ma-awkward kaming dalawa if ever sabihin niya ang sagot.

We are happy until we’re not, I know her issues and I accepted it but what I really can’t accept is how she always say yes to everyone even if it gives her a hard time but the first time I ask her for something, it was so easy for her to say no.

But I have to understand her.

“Why are you doing this to me?” I said as if I accept my defeat. I left her hoping she would take back what she said but unfortunately she never did.