I sit up in my bed, rubbing my watery eyes and bending over to get a peek at the alarm clock on my nightstand. It flashes 12:30 in bright blue numbers. Looks like I wasted the entire morning. I'm not the least bit surprised though, considering last night was a complete blur ending with me arriving home at 1:30 in the morning.

My mom was already tucked into bed, so I was exempted from her anger, but I know she's going to admonish me when I come downstairs.

To my surprise, she told me last night that she approved of me going out as long as I come back home at a reasonable hour. Clearly, I did not arrive back at a very reasonable hour, and I am not excited to figure out her reaction to that.

There is one thing I vividly remember from the party: Jesse kissing me. Even after replaying the breathtaking kiss in my head over and over again, I cannot identify if he only did it because of Sarah or not. It sure felt real and I want it to be, but I have much more important things to focus on today.

First of all, I have to muster up the courage to stroll downstairs and mend things with my mom. Second of all, I must meet up with Ashley, Kelsey, and Samara to explain a plan that I have been drafting ever since I tucked myself into bed last night. The plan definitely requires leaving the house a lot, and I won't be allowed to do that if mom is still angry with me.

But before I can pull myself up and out of bed to visit my mom in the kitchen, I hear a harsh knock on my door. Looks like I don't even have to move a muscle to get step one of my master plan finished. Before I can even respond to the knock, my mom barges into my room with her arms crossed against her chest and her eyes shooting daggers at me.

"Ivy. I think you have some explaining to do. You know I heard you come home last night, right?"

Clearly, she is not here to mess around and she's not going to just take some stupid excuse from me. That's exactly why I have no choice but to guilt trip her to receive forgiveness instead.

"Mom, I'm so sorry. It's just that my new friends are so fun to hang out with and I got a little carried away at the party. I guess you were right that I needed friends," I pause before speaking my next few words, scared to voice my thoughts aloud. "I don't know what the Poppy situation did to me."

Honestly, it isn't completely untrue, but I feel more than terrible for blaming my lack of a social life on Poppy. She should be the one blaming me from up in heaven for spoiling her entire life. I was a corrosive poison to her garden of potential.

My mom's smile suddenly drops and gets replaced with a sympathetic gaze.

"That's okay, honey. I shouldn't have been angry with you for having good friends."

She takes a few hesitant steps toward my bed and wraps her arms around me in a tight, warm embrace. For once, I let her squeeze me instead of pushing her away.

"I might have to go out and see them again today. Can I?" I plead, jutting my lip out and giving her my very best droopy puppy dog eyes expression. My mom's sternness melts completely when she sees it.

"Alright, fine." She answers, not being able to turn down my adorable features. Puppy dog eyes always work on her.

"I feel like you're never home anymore." She mentions in a disappointed tone suggesting she misses my daily presence in the house.

Extremely contradictory to what she was just telling me a week ago about being concerned that I have no social life.

"If I can remember correctly, you were the one who told me to make friends and get out of the house." I remind her.

"That's half true, but I never said I wanted you to get out of the house." She protests, raising her hands in defense.

"Whatever," I laugh. "Let me text Ashley, Kelsey, and Samara."

I told Mom a little bit about each of my new friends the previous afternoon before I got picked up for Noah's party. She was dying to figure out who the people who successfully broke me out of my shell enough to drag me to my first party were. Once I had finished telling her about Kelsey's energy, Ashley's humor, and Samara's fierceness, she was dying to meet them as well.

I grab my phone from the side of the bed comforter I am laying on and open my group chat with the three of them.

Hey guys, we need to meet at Burton's. I have something to tell you. I type out and, even though it sounds slightly ominous, hit send.

I don't know how the place showcasing Poppy's strange signature became our go-to hangout destination, but since they sell the most delectable drinks, I don't really mind.

My phone vibrates in my hand with a notification showing a reply from Ashley.

Kinda scared by that message, not gonna lie. But, if you want to meet somewhere, let's change it up and go shopping at the mall first. Her message reads.

Excitement fills my veins immediately as I read it. That's an even better idea. Now, I can relieve some of the stress I've been holding with retail therapy before spilling my plan to them.

I haven't gone shopping for myself in quite a while, but Poppy and I used to pay a visit to the mall at least once a week.

I'm completely down for that. Samara adds to the chat. Kelsey just hearts all of our messages to show she agrees, a typical Kelsey thing to do.

Ashley decides that she, being the usual designated driver of our group, is going to pick us all up in an hour, which gives me time to map out my plan a little more. Now, I just have to hope all three of my friends will agree to jump on board with it.

About an hour later, while I am laying face down on my bed in a state of brainstorm, the sound of a car horn honking startles me back to reality. I was so busy with my thoughts that I lost track of time and the task of getting dressed completely slipped my mind. I am still wearing my raggedy, faded pajama pants.

Hurriedly, I throw on the first pair of jeans and oversized T-Shirt my eyes stumble upon and sprint out the door. My appearance is the least of my concerns right now anyway. I have much more important things to worry about, such as what I call my "evil little plan."

Ashley, Kelsey, Samara, and I are gathered around a marble table at the edge of the mall food court. We decided to try out the new Mexican restuarant that opened here recently while we discuss my plan.

The space below us is cluttered with hundreds of shopping bags, revealing that we definitely did some damage to our wallets.

"This is delicious." Ashley mumbles while chewing a bite of her giant beef burrito.

"Girl, have some manners and don't chew with your mouth open." Samara admonishes her playfully.

Ashley responds by continuing to chomp her food down in an even more obnoxious manner.

"Guys, stop bickering. I want to hear what Ivy has to tell us." Kelsey interrupts.

"Oh yeah, what is it? It sounded important." Ashley asks.

I heave a long sigh as a pit of stress forms in my stomach. My friends are going to think I'm psychotic. I start slow before jumping right into the actual plan.

"So, last night, I saw Noah wearing a necklace. A necklace that used to be Poppy's." I begin explaining. All three of them gasp as soon as the words release from my mouth. They stay silent and instead wait for me to continue, so I do.

"It had a detailed bird pendant and it looked exactly like the one Poppy had. Honestly, I have a feeling it might be because of Ryan. He seems suspicious."

"You're right. We heard about what he did at his and your old school. I don't think evil people like that change that fast." Ashley agrees. Kelsey and Samara nod their heads.

"Basically, I have a plan. It might sound crazy, but I want you guys to help me kill Ryan. He deserves revenge and you know how my last time trying didn't work. This time, I know it will, so you guys don't have to be scared." I immediately regret this entire thing as soon as I see their faces.

"Honestly, I hate Ryan so, even though it is definitely crazy, it sounds fun." Samara announces.
Kelsey throws her quesadilla on her paper plate with a clamorous thump.

"Um, what?! Sorry Ivy, but I don't know about this. Sure, murder is fun, but it's dangerous. What if we get caught?" Kelsey yells, almost loud enough for the whole food court to hear.

I gaze around the spacious area, making sure no listeners are sussing out our plan. I don't want this thing over before it's even started.

"Shh, Kels," Ashley speaks for me. "I'm equally as shocked, but also kinda interested, so let's hear what else she has to say."

"Don't worry guys. I know for a fact that we will never get caught. Let me explain my master plan."

Although, as soon as I begin speaking, I catch a glimpse of Ryan walking over to us with a burrito bowl in his hand. What are the chances that he is at the exact same place as us at the exact same time? This is a brutal coincidence.

"Don't say a word. Look who's walking toward us." I warn the girls. As usual, a cheek-to-cheek grin is plastered onto his face as he approaches us, clearly just an iditoic act.

"Hey guys! Funny seeing you here." He exclaims when he reaches the end of the table.

"Yeah, real funny." Samara states in a hostile tone. I adore her boldness.

"Jeez, Samara. You don't gotta be so harsh." He responds

"That's just how Samara is." Ashley swoops in to defend her friend.

"True," He shrugs. "I guess you guys had the same idea as me. Mexican food is the best during a hangover."

Or you just tracked our location to get here like the stalker you are. I think to myself, fighting the urge to say the words aloud.

Although, I can't since that will ruin my plan. I must feign being kind around him so that he doesn't suspect a single thing.

"Yeah, that's exactly what we were thinking." I say in a friendly voice. When the girls give me distorted looks of confusion, I wink at them, making sure they know my motive.

"I don't want to seem weird, but I heard about what happened with you and Jesse. He's a really nice dude, so you made a good choice." Ryan informs me. So he knows Jesse?

"Thanks." I say, dragging the word out slowly. That was strange.

Maybe he means I made a good choice because I fell right into the trap he, Noah, and maybe even Jesse set up. By getting me on their side, they can manipulate me into trusting them and then Ryan will do the same thing he did to Poppy to me.

"Anyway, I got to go back to my friends. I'll see y'all Monday." He waves goodbye and walks backward, leaving me to explain my thoughts to Ashley, Kelsey, and Samara.

"He's so weird." Ashley comments, rolling her eyes.

"You can say that again. But, I need to know. What's going on between you and Jesse?" Samara faces me, smirking and wiggling her eyebrows slightly.

"Absolutely nothing. I was drunk when I kissed him. Besides, I know he didn't mean it." I respond.

"What makes you say that?" Kelsey asks.

"Trust me, he's in on Ryan's plan. Did you hear him just now? Jesse's just pretending to like me, so he can do what Ryan did to Poppy to me. It's Ryan's stunt from two years ago all over again." I explain to them in a self-assured tone.

However, their normal faces melt into skeptical expressions once again.

"What?"

"Sorry Ivy, but are you sure about that? It seems a little far-fetched." Ashley advises me. I don't blame her for perceiving my idea as unlikely, but now that it is in my head, I cannot erase it.

"Yes, I'm 100% sure."

Suddenly, my phone pings with a text notification from none other than my mother. Not the least bit surprising. The only contacts I have in my phone are her, Ashley, Kelsey, and Samara, and my three friends are sitting right in front of me. I do have one other still resting at the bottom of my messages screen, but she's gone.

I couldn't possibly bring myself to remove Poppy's number, even when every other piece of her was removed. It just didn't feel right.

Our non-stop texts back and forth are one of the only remaining memories I have of her, one of the only pieces of her resurrected from her far too early departure from the world. I eradicated every other object that brought back painful memories of her.

At that time, when the grief was still fresh, every single memory was a painful one to me. I couldn't let her texts to me get washed up in my flood of emotion that engulfed almost every other memory I had.

Destroying all of them is and will ever be the biggest regret of my life.

I heave a large sigh and click on my mom's contact, her unexpected message increasing my heart rate and making the insides of my palms damp with sweat.

It reads, I just learned something crazy about Ryan. I'm coming to pick you up now.

heyy guys! i'm ending this chapter on another cliffhanger of course. we're getting to the crazy parts of the book yayyy. pls remember to vote and comment!

- mari 🩷💜