MICHELLE
DECEMBER 17TH, 2004

GOING TO SCHOOL TODAY WAS HELL. It was probably the last place I wanted to be, but honestly, I feel the same way every month. The moment a month would reach the double digits, my mind subconsciously started to count down.

Today, I was at two.

Two days until the ten month anniversary of the worst day of my life. Then two months until it has been one year.

How exciting.

I felt like throwing myself down a well.

Maeve had her arm wrapped around mine as we made our way into the school. She was going on about something I didn't have the capacity to care about.

I don't want to sound selfish, but honestly, whatever she could have been talking about probably wasn't as important as the traumatic moment that insisted on playing on a loop in my head.

We were a few hours late to school. Finn had had some sort of doctor's appointment early this morning and so our choices were either wait for mom to get back or walk, and neither of us were willing to make the two hour walk.

The halls were pretty much clear at this point. I'm pretty sure most people were at lunch right now, which was where Maeve, Finn, and I were currently heading.

Maeve didn't want to walk alone so she made us walk with her.

Well, actually, it was both me and Finn, but then Finn ran into some of his friends and went with them. Maeve was pissed but inevitably got over it.

"Hey, Mickey?" Maeve mumbled, lightly chewing on her bottom lips.

I ran a hand across my face-not because I was annoyed, more like in pain-and hummed a quiet "what?"

"We should start watching a show together." Maeve said, resting her head on my arm that she was currently holding.

"What show?" I could already hear all the noise coming from the lunchroom and we weren't even there yet.

"I don't know." Her voice had gotten quiet, like she knew I was suffering. "I tried to get Finn to watch Gilmore Girls with me, but he gave up last season, me and mom have been watching One Tree Hill together, and every now and then Dad and I catch up on Smallville together. So that just leaves you. What show should we watch together?"

I shrugged, "depends, what show do you want to watch together?"

"I don't know." She said again "my best friend Laila, her and her older sister used to watch Dawson's Creek together before her sister went to university. She said it was really good."

I tried not to let my steps falter as my sister accidentally brought up memories that I had been trying to suppress.

"If that's what you want. But, just so you know, I have already watched the first season." I told her. I wasn't gonna just watch the first season with her and pretend not to know anything-I mean, I could, but I won't.

Maeve nodded her head against my arm "yeah. I guess that's okay. There's still five more seasons-I think." Then she went quiet and I think I heard her quietly counting.

When we reached the lunchroom doors I pulled open the one on the right and let Maeve walk in first before I followed after her, the door closing behind me.

Now that she was no longer attached to my hip, Maeve skipped forwards towards the table that we had been sitting at since October.

My eyes wandered down to the other end of the table, just to make sure Finn had made it here. Sure enough, he was sitting next to his usual friends talking about something that needed to be explain through arm wrestling.

Somehow, within the two second head start Maeve had, she managed to start her own conversation.

I don't know what she was saying, but Katie had responded with "yeah, six."

Maeve dropped into her seat, crossing her arms and resting her head on them "That's what I thought, but I wasn't exactly sure."

"Sure about what?" I practically collapsed into the chair beside Gerard.

"I was just making sure it was six seasons." Maeve explained with little-to-no details.

"What was six seasons?" I asked, copying the way she was sitting.

"Our show."

Our show?

Oh, right.

"Maeve. I could have told you that." I pulled my head away from my arms, so that I was looking at her.

"Uhh, then why didn't you?"

"Because I didn't know you were asking."

Despite the fact that she clearly wanted to say something else, Maeve bit her tongue and dropped her head onto her hand.

I hated when she was nice to me just because of the date.

Sighing, I turned towards the older kids, who were all having their own conversations. I could either decide to join whatever was going on between Katie and Hugh, start a conversation with Feely-who looked like he was enjoying his silence, or join in on Johnny and Gerards conversation-which was clearly starting to piss Johnny off.

"Gibs, I'm serious, quit it."

I could see how annoyed both of the boys were just by the look in their eyes.

"No, I won't quit it, Johnny. You're in pain-serious pain, I can practically feel it" I couldn't tell if Gerard was actually being serious or just sarcastic. "Get help." then he lifted his hand, pointing at the brunet across from him. "Don't make me call Mammy K."

Johnny leaned back in his chair, clearly frustrated, but before he could snap back at his best friend, his eyes landed on me. "Holy shite, Mikey. When did you get here?"

It's almost as if he knew that pointing out my presence would distract Gerard long enough to forget about whatever they were arguing about.

It makes me wonder what it was because not only have I never heard these two seriously argue, but Johnny was clearly trying to avoid the subject by how quick he took the chance to change the subject.

"Oh, hey Michelle." A bright smile replaced the frown on Gerard's face when he turned to look at me. "How was your morning-mine was terrible, I was so lonely." He leaned so far back in his chair I'm surprised it never flipped.

"Sorry, I totally forgot. Finn had a doctor's appointment and Declan had left around three for some strange meeting that was like two hours away, so we had no way to get to school other than walking. And there's no way I was going to take that long ass walk."

"Why didn't your mom just drop you off before the appointment?" Johnny asked, crossing his arms across his chest.

I sat up, resting my head on my hands "Because it started at like six, so we'd be here too early."

Gerard furrowed his eyebrows "Six to"-he glanced down at the watch he didn't have-"now? That's a long appointment. Baby Buck okay?"

I felt myself smile. He cared about Finn.

"Yeah, he's got this weird thing with his eyes going on. Mom thinks he's gonna need glasses." Weirdly enough, looking at Finn, it just seemed like glasses would make sense on him.

I noticed Gerard look down the table, narrowing his eyes at where my baby brother was sitting.

"You know, Mikey. If you ever need a ride, you could just ask me." Johnny said as if he just told me everybody in school has one hundred pencils, so why do I only have two.

My eyes widened slightly "seriously?"

He shrugged "why not?"

One good reason-I pointed to the girl sitting beside me, who had chosen to interrupt Feely's peaceful silence-Maeve.

I notice a small laugh come from Johnny, despite the fact that he tried to hide it. "I actually don't mind the twins."

Gerard joined back into the conversation in that moment. "Yeah-maybe not Maeve alone, but when she's with Finn, it's like watching a reality Tv show. She's the mean rick next door neighbor and he's the nice and quiet neighbor that you invite over for family night, which ultimately pisses off the fancy, rich, and mean neighbor."

That was oddly specific.

"Then when they start fighting-" oh, he's still going. "-It's like watching an old Labrador just flat out ignore the yappy Chihuahua. It's hilarious."

I'm guessing Maeve heard that part because now she was arguing with Gerard for calling her a Chihuahua. She says "if anything I'm a gorgeous fucking shih tzu."

"Yeah, cause that's so much better." I mumbled before silently scolding her for swearing.

While those two continued their useless argument, my eyes drifted to the girl sitting across from me-Katie-who was already looking at me.

Her eyes were trailing over my face like she was searching for something in particular.

I didn't like it.

It made me feel way too transparent.

"You okay?" She kept her voice quiet, trying not to alert the others of a new conversation.

I didn't give her a better answer than a nod because if I said 'yes' then I'd be lying and I'm not a very good liar.

"You sure?"

I'm not sure why she was asking. I wasn't aware I had given any sign that I wasn't.

I just nodded again, too scared to actually say anything and accidentally spill all my thoughts.

Almost like my mind knew something was wrong, my eyes drifted towards the other end of the table, where Finn and his friends were. Only there was now two new kids-much older kids-one of which was leaning down on the table saying something that was clearly pissing Finn off.

Him and his friends were no longer arm wrestling, in fact, almost all of his friends seemed to be on the verge of laughing at whatever the older boy was saying. However, Finn and the boy beside him-who I now recognize as Scout-were staring at him. Finn looked angry, I could see his nostrils flaring from where I was sitting, and Scout looked so terrified that he was nearly shaking.

Even though I was a decent length away from the two, I could still tell I have never seen the older boy before.

He was leaning against the table, so I couldn't tell his exact height, but I was sure he was at least shorter than Johnny. He was well built-much like the rest of the guys at this table-but most of his muscle seemed to revolve around the lower half of his body.

He had short brunet hair that was just long enough to reach his eyebrows, but it was shaved at the side so it didn't touch his ears.

He just looked like an asshole.

"Hey, Gerard?" I didn't take my eyes off of Finn and the older boy across from him.

Whatever argument he was having with Maeve was immediately forgotten "Yeah?" He mumbled. It wasn't loud, but I was able to hear him like he was the only person in this room talking.

I pointed to the boy talking to Finn. "Who's that?"

"Uhh. . ." I'm guessing he was either trying to remember or just didn't know. "The dude talking to baby Buck?"

"Yeah."

"He looks like an asshole." Maeve mumbled.

"He is." Johnny said.

So he knew him?

"Yeah." Gerard said, agreeing with his best friend "I'm pretty sure that's Nathan Greylen. He does football-or well, I guess you would say soccer."

Nathan. I hate that name.

"He's a major asshole." Hugh said.

Apparently I had somehow managed to grab the attention of all my friends with just a simple question because they were all zoned in on whatever was going on over there.

"He looks like he's being an asshole." Patrick corrected.

"Uhh, Mickey." Maeve leaned backwards, closer to me, and lowered her voice to a whisper. "That's Finn's 'I'm about to punch someone' face"

And I was up.

Apparently not a moment too soon too 'cause seconds later Finn was leaping across the table towards at the much older-and likely stronger-man.

Finn is big for his age. He's thirteen, but to a stranger you would probably assume he was closer to fifteen. However, the dude he just punched across the face looked like he was old enough to be teaching at this school.

There was a chorus of curses come the table I had abandoned moments ago.

Then-as expected-the older kid punched him back and I nearly vomited watching the way my baby brother crumbled to the floor.

I closed the space between us so fast I could have dropped my head along the way and never realized.

Before I even processed what I was doing, my own fist had connected with the older boys jaw.

It was a bad move on my end, I'll admit that. But there had been so much anger flowing through my veins at the sight of Finn curled up on the floor, that I wasn't thinking straight-No, I just wasn't thinking in general.

When he turned to me, he looked furious and he didn't seem to care that I was also half his size because he stomped forwards, grabbing onto both my shoulders and practically shaking the life out of me.

"What the hell is your problem, bitch!" He was yelling.

Very loudly.

I tried not to focus too much on all the attention that was now focused on me and instead focused on getting out of his grip that seems to be cutting off the circulation in my arms.

I pushed at his chest as hard as I could, but if anything his hands only held on tighter. I could actually feel his fingernails digging into the skin of my arms.

The last time I had been in a fight with someone twice my size I got my ass kicked. I had a broken nose, three broken fingers, and a dislocated kneecap. After that I told myself I'd do everything in my power to avoid breaking my bones (at least in fights) for at least a year and at the current moment it looks like I'm gonna fail with only two months left.

Was it bad that I didn't even care.

He hurt Finn. And, yeah, maybe Finn hit him first, but I doubt Finn wouldn't have hit him if he didn't deserve it. It's Finn, the only violence he's okay with is during sports. He once called me into his room just so I could help him save a moth that had somehow flown into his room.

Despite the fact that I would definitely lose if we started fighting, I felt the words slip from my mouth "don't ever touch him again."

He laughed like picking on kids half his size was the funniest thing in the world "or what, princess."

I didn't get to answer because he was yanked away from me by a very familiar blond that has a weird habit of breaking into my house in the middle of night.

I'm pretty sure I heard him punch what's-his-name, probably in the face, but the moment I was free from the guys hands I had made a beeline straight for Finn, who was sitting on the floor clutching his nose that was definitely bleeding.

"Are you okay." I fell to my knees in front of him, my hands reaching out to help him with whatever I could.

Finn groaned, pushing himself away from me "leave me alone Michelle." He snapped and I tried to ignore the very obvious tears forming in his eyes as he pulled himself up and raced out of the room.

I had no idea what to do. Finn has never yelled at me-or literally anyone. But, then again, until five minutes ago, I've never seen him hit anyone either.

In a desperate attempt to help my brother, my eyes landed on a specific pair of green eyes that were already staring at me. As if reading my thoughts, Maeve nodded slightly before running after Finn.

Then my eyeline of Maeve was blocked by another red head kneeling down in front of me "holy shit, Mikey!" Her voice was much higher than it had been a few minutes ago when she was asking me if I was okay. "Are you okay?" Is that the only question she knows how to ask me?

"I'm fine."

I nearly had a heart attack when someone pulled me up from my spot on the floor. It wasn't even in a rough way, it just startled me. I felt like a baby being picked up my her mom for the first time because of how gently he hooked his hands under my arms and pulled me up.

Seriously, I might as well have been floating.

Katie sent a quick grateful smile to the boy behind me. His hands pulled away from under my arms and instead dropped onto my shoulders "You okay?"

I wasn't even surprised to see Feely standing in front of me.

Despite the fact that I knew he was just trying to be nice, I felt myself roll my eyes. That's like the tenth time I've been asked that today. "I'm fine." I repeated exactly what I said to Katie.

Then, because this just had to get worse, a loud voice yelled "All of you! Office! Now!"

I'm no genius, but I'm guessing he was referring to us.

AUTHOR TALKS!!
Finally starting some drama. First twenty chapters were too boring so I thought 'hey! Let's start punching people' Because that usually helps with the plot.

Michelle's kicking ass (or rather about to get her as beat) and joeys knock, knock, knocking on heavens door iykwim.