𝒐𝒏𝒆. five rules for faking it

The sound of clicking heels thundered beneath Evette as she raced to her first class of the semester.

She wasn't particularly interested in learning about the wonders of carnivorous plants and their sexual trickery tactics, but Marilyn Thornhill was extremely dedicated to her work.

Evette found a lonely table located in the back corner of the classroom full of exotic plants. Her seat was in the back corner closest to the exit, it was out of anyone's sight and perfectly isolated.

Her classmates poured into the room through the thick glassed doorframe, none of which missing their opportunity to send an ominous glare toward Evette as they entered. She combatted their dirty looks with narrow–eyed smirks.

After all, her mother had always said: If you can't kill them, kill them with kindness.

"Oops. I forgot to mention! Everyone partner up–the person you're sitting next to will be your partner for the rest of the semester!" Ms. Thornhill called from her greenhouse.

Eve had nowhere to go, so she stayed in place. Meanwhile, Bianca Barclay took a seat at the table ahead of Eve and kept her bright eyes glued to the entrance.

Just then, Xavier Thorpe strut through the entrance of the room and examined his seating options. Eve noted how his hair fell beneath his jawline and how his eye-bags developed to be grey and sunken. She presumed it was a result of the unforeseen breakup that he and Bianca went though a few weeks prior.

"Xavier, I saved you a seat!" Bianca called out to him. "Thornhill said that the person you sit next to will be your partner for the rest of the semester."

A lump formed in his throat as his eyes fell to the empty chair and back up to Bianca.

"As appealing as that sounds, I already have a partner." Xavier lied. He side–eyed Evette and the empty seat beside her while he simultaneously wondered if sitting next to the black sheep of Nevermore Academy was a better option than sitting next to his ex–girlfriend.

"Who?" Bianca replied, seemingly unconvinced by his answer.

"Uh–" he paused for a second before sending a pleading look in Eve's direction.

Despite how amusing the entire scene was to Evette, she knew that forcing Xavier to sit next to his ex would begin to weigh on her conscience after awhile. A guilty conscience is bad for anyone.

"Me." Eve reluctantly joined the conversation, causing a thankful smile to form on the boy's lips. He traveled around the table and took a seat beside her.

"Seriously, Xavier? Evette Monroe?" Bianca scoffed. "I didn't know you had social suicide on your itinerary for the semester."

"No one uses itineraries anymore, Bianca. They're outdated and irrelevant, much like this one–sided drama that you've held onto for the past year," Eve spoke.

Bianca sent both Eve and Xavier a sinister look before turning around in her seat and calling someone else to sit beside her.

"Thanks," Xavier said while he placed his forearms on the table and leaned closed to Eve. "You didn't have to do that."

"Maybe I shouldn't have. It would've been amusing to witness your bickering everyday." Eve replied, sending a sarcastic smile to him.

He smiled back. "I don't bicker."

"You do, too," Eve argued. "I don't think I've ever had a class with you where you didn't bicker with anyone."

"I had no idea you paid that much attention to me," Xavier's voice exuded a hidden confidence. "How flattering."

"Don't gloat," she replied.

The pair worked in silence for the remainder of the class period. Thornhill wasted no time and immediately dove into a hefty amount of note–taking on one of her favorite plants: wormwood.

As the class's end approached, Eve thought to herself. She thought about how desperate Xavier was considering he sat next to her in order to evade his ex. She thought about how the entire class turned their attention to her whenever she and Bianca had their small dispute.

The gears within her brain began to turn at ungodly speeds until she hatched the most perfectly imperfect plan there ever was.

Her classmates began to pack up their school supplies to go on their way to their next classes–Xavier did the same. Before he could exit, Eve caught onto the cufflink of his uniform.

"What's up?" he inquired.

"I need to talk to you. Meet me behind the greenhouse at midnight," Eve whispered lowly.

Xavier's eyebrows raised in amusement. "Why do you wanna meet me at one of the most popular hookup hotspots?"

"Gross. It's just– It's one of the most secluded places on campus," Eve explained. "Trust me."

"I'm not convinced. The only reason you'd want to meet me there is if you're secretly really into me or you're an axe murderer. Only one of those things is probable," Xavier joked.

"Oh, am I that transparent? I wanted to conceal my murderous tendencies for at least another semester." Eve sarcastically pouted before rolling her eyes. "Look, you either meet me or you don't. I won't beg."

Eve pulled her book-bag over her shoulder and exited the classroom, leaving Xavier where they stood.

"For the record, I wasn't implying that you were an axe murderer–"

"I know what you were implying, idiot!" she called back.

      Eve traveled towards the greenhouse while simultaneously peeking behind her shoulder–ensuring that no one had seen her sneak off.

      Upon her arrival, she found Xavier leaning against a large oak tree that extended so far into the night sky that it was practically invisible.

      "You must not think I'm that suspicious if you still decided to come," Eve said while she traveled to stand beside him.

      "Oh, I think you're extremely suspicious. I'm just curious as to why you asked me to come here in the first place."

      "Alright. What would you do if I told you that there was a way to ensure that Bianca would lose interest in you and I'd be able to get my old life back?" Eve questioned.

      "I'm listening," Xavier said, tilting his head to the left in anticipation.

      "Well.. we should fake date," she blurted out.

      Xavier's eyebrows pinched together and he straightened his posture. Now he stood seven inches above her, forcing her to tilt her head upwards to look at him.

      "Fake date?" he repeated.

      Eve nodded. "Yep."

"You seriously want to date a guy you don't know?" he asked.

She pulled a thin–lipped smile over her face and shrugged her shoulders. "Well, I don't think you can be any worse than the ones I actually know."

The two stood in contemplative silence for an estimated ten seconds, Eve staring blankly at him before Xavier finally looked back at her with a mischievous smile.

      "Alright. I'm in," Xavier shrugged.

      Eve was taken aback by his forwardness. "Wait, seriously? You don't need any rash convincing? No ass kissing? Nothing? Wow, it's like you're a whole new man."

      Xavier rolled his eyes at her sarcastic remark. "You'll save me a lot of trouble and I'll help clear your name. I never believed any of the stuff written in that blog post, by the way."

      "Such a gentleman, Xavier Thorpe," Eve scoffed. "Anyway. If we're going to do this, we'll need to set a few ground rules."

      "Rules? For what? All we need to do is act totally in love whenever Bianca is around and call it a day," he shrugged his shoulders.

      "That's the problem, Thorpe. If it's too obvious, no one will actually believe it. So, I have a four rules for faking it," Eve smiled up at him.

      "Let's hear 'em," he replied.

      "Rule number one: neither of us can ever tell a single living soul about this."

      "Deal."

      "Rule number two: no PDA."

      "What? How is anyone gonna believe us if we're not allowed to touch each other?" Xavier criticized.

      "Scratch that, you're right. Rule number two: no PDA unless it's entirely necessary."

      "Deal."

      "Rule number three: we'll need to go to all school events together as a couple. No exceptions."

      "Deal."

      "And most importantly, rule number four: no real feelings between us." Eve's gaze lingered between Xavier's left and right eyes, trying to decipher his thoughts. "We need to know where the fake side of our relationship ends and where the real one begins."

      "Alright. Fair enough," Xavier nodded. "Deal."

      Eve extended her hand and he took it into his own and shook it firmly. "Good night, Xavier." She turned on her way back to her dorm room.

      "Good night. See you tomorrow, sweetheart," he cooed.

      Eve dug her heels into the Earth beneath her and spun around. "Gross. Rule number five: no weird pet names!"

      Xavier chuckled to himself as he watched Evette race up the hill, forcing herself almost out of his line of sight.

      "You're no fun, Monroe!" Xavier cupped his hands around his mouth and called back for her. "No deal! The nicknames stay!"

Notes.
guess who impulsively published a fic after binging Wednesday in one day?? me!

ty for reading, I hope you enjoyed! these two are so fun to write, I can't wait :)