52. mein hoon, chahe jo ho jaaye. (I'm here, no matter what.)

•°•

-priya-

"You're too much work, you know that?" I sat on the bedside stool.

Aditya smiled sheepishly, lowering his head like he was ashamed. But I knew he wasn't. He finds it funny, just like the last time when he broke his fingers. It hasn't even been a week since that incident and we're back at the hospital, with another health issue.

"Don't say that. He'll feel bad." Divya mumbled, shaking her head at me. "Also, would you regret it? Louis was over the moon. He says the pictures came out phenomenal." She chirped, leaning and patting Aditya's shoulder. "Cheer up. No pain, no gain, remember?"

Dhruv snorted. "You're talking as if dancing in the rain was some kind of Olympic game."

"They would have got India a gold medal if it was," she defended.

Dhruv looked at her in disbelief.

"What?" She deadpanned, glancing at all of us. "Am I not making sense right now?"

Aditya and I shook our heads.

"Hey! I'm defending you. At least you should be taking my side." She looked at Aditya with betrayal.

"I can't be with the losing side," Aditya chuckled.

"Wow, you have no conscience, do you?" She scoffed, placing a hand on her hip. "Good that you're here. You deserve this." She pointed at the IV and the replaced cast on his fingers.

"That's harsh," Aditya gaped at her. "It's not even a minute that you were defending me!"

"Of course, I can't be with the losing side." She smiled mockingly at him.

"Alright, we should be leaving now. It's one thirty." Dhruv held her elbow gently, nudging her back as a gesture. "He is advised to rest too. So let's go back to the hotel."

"You sure you can stay here alone?" Divya looked at me, her brows furrowed in concern. "I don't mind accompanying you." She offered.

"Forget it. You should be going. You need rest too." I smiled at them in assurance. "Also, we got a room for ourselves. I'll manage on the couch. And he'll be discharged tomorrow morning anyway."

"You sure?" She asked hesitantly.

I nodded with a convincing smile.

"Alright," she sighed in defeat. "But don't hesitate to give us a call if something happens."

"Aye, don't make a big deal. The doctor said it was only fever and cold." Aditya interrupted.

Divya rolled her eyes. "104 is not a joke. The doctor said things would have worsened if we hadn't brought you here earlier."

He laid his head back and closed his eyes, not having the power to argue with her.

"Anyway, call us if the need occurs. Don't make it awkward thinking that we met just a day ago and all that nonsense. It's a foreign country so we can rely on each other, okay?" She asked me softly.

I nodded. "Thank you."

She waved it off. "Don't thank me. Alright, we'll be off now. Bye, good night."

I got up to see them off until the door.

"Good night," Aditya muttered under his breath.

We stepped out of the hospital room and I slid the door close, blocking the outside world from him. "Thank you," I said sincerely. "I really mean it." I grabbed Divya's hand in mine.

"It's okay, I'm glad you called us the moment you realised he needs to be hospitalized."

I swallowed. "I couldn't think of anyone else. The receptionist kept talking in French and I couldn't wait until she got someone who knew English. I was terrified until I remembered you. I know it must have caused you so much inconvenience."

"What bullshit." Divya rolled her eyes. "Priya, I was really happy when I saw you two getting into the van last night. It's our first time traveling in a foreign country so I was scared but the moment I realised how mature and experienced you are, as selfish as it might sound, I was grateful there was someone we could lean on if something goes wrong. So what if the roles are reversed right now? In fact, we're happy to be of help to you and Aditya."

"Yeah, don't worry. It's not inconvenient at all." Dhruv shook his head at me.

I smiled. "Thank you."

Divya chuckled, hugging me gently. "Don't fuss about insignificant things. Just focus on him." She rubbed my back, pulling away and smiling up at me brightly. "And I never saw you this panicked, huh? I didn't think it was possible to see the great Priya Mathur run around like a headless chicken," she tittered.

My smile faltered slightly. "You- You know me?"

"Jalsa handled our wedding." She revealed sounding amused.

I blinked, absolute embarrassment rendering me speechless.

"So you really had no idea huh!?" Divya gasped. "Didn't you hear a word I said on our way back to the hotel? I even told you the location, the menu! I thought you would eventually realise. Wow, this is embarrassing." She chortled. "We saved up around thirty-five lacs so we can have the dream Jalsa wedding."

"She is the owner. There's no way she would know every client personally." Dhruv shoved her lightly on the shoulder. "And it's not that we chose the most expensive package."

I bit my bottom lip. "I'm sorry."

She shrugged. "It's okay. We weren't the A-listers after all."

"But were you satisfied?"

"I was happy. It was the best day of my life," she grabbed Dhruv's hand in hers. "And your company was like the fairy godmother. The staff was polite. My dress was perfect. The arrangements were beautiful. And I can never forget that day. It carries absolutely no bitter memory, all thanks to you."

I couldn't help but grin.

"So, happy with the feedback?"

"Yeah," I whispered, suddenly emotional. "Thank you for choosing Jalsa."

She hit me playfully on the arm. "Don't be so formal now."

"Okay, cut the drama. We're getting late and the taxi has been waiting for the past fifteen minutes." Dhruv intervened.

"Alright, see you tomorrow." She smiled up at me.

I nodded, waving at them and waiting patiently until they disappeared through the front entrance. Turning around, I opened the door to peek in. "Aditya,"

He looked away from the television screen.

"I'm heading to the cafeteria to get myself a cup of coffee. Do you want anything?"

He shook his head, focusing back on the show.

I closed the door and made my way toward the elevator. The cafeteria was on the rooftop so I took my time to reach there.

Aditya had been wanting to call home since he was brought to the hospital. I could tell from the way he kept glancing at his phone. I guess the tiff between his mother and him was solved at the airport. She had taken him to the corner and embraced him tightly, sobbing on his chest. For a bystander, it looked like she was seeing him off forever. Aditya stood stiff until to the point his eyes teared up and he couldn't resist hugging her back. That was enough to make her smile brightly. She even said sorry to me.

When I asked for what, she said, "Just, because."

I failed to comprehend whether it was because of the Griha Shanti thing, or something else. Because the former didn't happen in front of me, I just overheard her talk to Mami. It's not that I hold a grudge. But I hope the apology was for the comment she made about me being the cause of problems in the house and not for something else. Because I don't think I can stand knowing there are more things she finds disappointing in me.

"An Americano please, and a veg sandwich. Grilled." I said at the counter.

The woman nodded, typing my order into the computer before telling me the price. I used my credit card to pay. She smiled and completed the transaction before returning the card to me with the bill. "Give us five minutes. You can wait at one of the empty tables. The wifi password is the same as the name."

I nodded and chose a table far away from the hospital staff. They were talking about some rupture and puss and I don't want to hear any of it before having my dinner. Fishing out my phone, I connected to the Wi-Fi, deciding to spend the waiting period reading unseen e-mails.

Soon enough a waiter walked up to my table with the paper bag and a cup of takeaway coffee. "Thank you," I smiled in gratitude, getting up to head back to the room. I hope Aditya was done with his phone call.

Reaching the room, I opened the door.

"I called you yesterday,"

My feet skidded to an abrupt halt. I peeped in through the glass provided on the door. Aditya had his phone on his knees since both of his hands were useless as of now.

"Oh, you did?" Mom sounded surprised. "Sorry, Avinash is moving out so-"

"Forget it," Aditya mumbled. "What are you doing?"

"Uh, I was packing some achaar for your brother. You know how much he likes it."

Aditya inhaled a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling, as though he was controlling himself.

"How are you? I know you can't stomach western food well. But don't worry, I've sent so many snacks. If you don't feel like eating out, just have them. But don't stay hungry."

Aditya hummed.

"How's the weather there?"

"It's raining."

"Oh, it's so hot here." She mumbled. "Don't forget to wear warm clothes."

"Yeah," he replied. "You didn't ask about Priya."

I clenched the knob tightly, wondering why I'm unable to close the door and stop eavesdropping on someone's conversation.

"Ah, right," she cleared her throat. "How is she?"

"Fine." He answered. "Mom, I'm at the hos-"

"Aditya, tu agar vahaan hai toh aate wakt Avinash ke liye uske favorites chocolates lana. Yaad hai usne last year laye the apne saath Switzerland se? Usse bahut pasand aaye the woh. Don mahine tak bas unke baare mein hi baat kar raha tha. Yaha milte bhi nahi hai na woh. Varna mein tujhe nahi kehti. But ab Avinash shift ho raha hai toh tu beeti baatein bhool kar ek nayi shuruvat karte hai, huh? Waise bhi, tujhe mujhse shikayat hai na. Aur mein maanti hoon galti meri hai. But mein nahi chahti meri vajah se tum dono bhaiyon ke beech mein khataas aaye. Aur ab tu vaapas aayega nah, toh mein promise karti hoon, mein tujhe shikayat ka ek mauka nahi dungi. (Aditya, if you can, buy Avinash's favorite chocolates there. Remember the ones he bought from Switzerland last year? He couldn't stop talking about them for two months. And we can't even get them here in India. I wouldn't have asked you but Avinash is shifting now, it's time for a fresh start, don't you think? And you're disappointed in me, which I understand, but don't let it become the reason for the rift between you brothers. I promise you once you come back, I won't give you a reason to be disappointed in me.)" She said, all that to make sure Aditya brings Avinash's favorite chocolates. For chocolates.

I didn't know whether to scoff or laugh.

"Okay," Aditya muttered. "I'll bring them."

"Thank you! Oh, mera Raja beta! I miss you. Come back soon, okay?"

"Mom, I'm at the hospi-"

"I'll call you later. Avinash can't find his socks. Don't forget about the chocolates!" She hung up.

Not even take care.

"I'm at the hospital, Mom," Aditya continued, looking at his phone that displayed the lockscreen. "I got a high fever. I think it was because I got soaked in the rain. Not accidentally, Priya and I danced." He chuckled. "I'm sorry, don't get angry. I know it was childish. But I'm doing fine now. The doctor said it is nothing to worry about. I'll be discharged tomorrow morning." He mumbled, picking up the phone with his right hand despite the plastered fingers, toying with it casually, his jaw clenched tight. "I'm at hospital, mom. Did you hear me? I'm at the fucking hospital!" He hurled the phone at the wall with a force that had me flinching in fear. I dashed inside the room when he raised his hand groaning in boundless pain.

"What is wrong with you!?" I snapped, ringing the bell for the nurse as I grabbed his hand in mine. "You are not healed yet! Why do you keep doing this to yourself!?"

He breathed harshly, staring into the space without any regard for his physical health.

The nurse appeared and I left his side so she could check him.

"His heart rate is slightly higher than normal. And there's a slight swelling on the back of his hand." She informed me while taking his arm in hers gently. "Can you move it?" She asked, "try moving your free fingers." He did and winced. "Please don't put pressure on the broken fingers. You're blocking the healing process." She said, placing his hand back on the soft pillow. "Make sure he doesn't use his right hand too much. Not even to lift a glass of water. The cast will only help if he lets it. But so far, he hasn't been considerate of his hand." She looked straight at me.

I nodded. He definitely hasn't. Picking me up, dancing with me, letting the cast soak in the rain. He was too careless. And I was too irresponsible. Letting him get his way because I can't say no to him.

"We'll be careful," I assured her.

She nodded and left the room, closing the door gently after her.

I slumped down on the bedside stool. "Did you hear her?" I asked him. He didn't acknowledge me. "Don't do this to yourself, Aditya. You're not accountable for other people's words or actions. I know you're angry, but-"

"Did you hear it all?" He asked cutting me off.

I fell quiet, guilty of my actions.

"Fuck, this is so humiliating." He grunted, scooting lower to lie down. "I'm sleeping. Good night." Dragging the covers until his face was hidden, he didn't even wait to hear my response as he told me to turn off the lights.

I got up with a sigh, doing as he told me before leaving him alone in the room, knowing he won't be able to sleep but is too embarrassed to face me right now.

The lounge was empty of living existence so I sat in the second row, blankly raising my eyes to watch the television.

I wonder if all mothers do this. Loving their one child more than the other. I wouldn't know, but I never felt the same when my mother was around. Did Preeti feel it? Unheard, unacknowledged, in her own house? She was so small though. Only four years old, so maybe not.

I can't imagine doing this to my kids though. I wouldn't be able to bear it if one of my children ever comes to me and asks why did I not love them the same as I loved their sibling. Honestly, which mother would be able to hear it?

Then why isn't Aditya's mother realising this? What's in Avinash that's got her so attached to him? What did Aditya lack? Is it even about that? Or it's just because she can't help it?

Does she even realise how much she hurts Aditya? Maybe even Meghna. Or is she so wrapped up in her elder son's world that she sees none of her others kids waiting for her attention and love? Maybe she does. Maybe she just pretends she doesn't.

I fished out my phone, unlocked it, and dialed her number. My thumb hesitated to press the call button. But the reluctance was gone even before I can think of typing a message, making me realised how shallow the relationship between us has become.

"Hello?"

"Hello," I murmured shakily.

"Priya?"

"Yeah, it's me." I nodded.

"What is it?"

"Do you remember the time Aditya and Meghna got into a fight and got sick?"

"Yeah, what about it?" She inquired.

I inhaled a deep breath, hoping I don't regret this tomorrow morning when the adrenaline wears off.

"You two weren't on talking terms back then, I guess. But the moment you came, he automatically leaned into you. I was there too. But he needed you more. I was like, oh, so that's what it feels to have a mother." I whispered, licking my dry lips as my voice thickened with emotions. "I really admired you back then. You seemed so cool. But now I don't feel the same."

"What?" She breathed out.

"Aditya is sick. He is hospitalised." I revealed. "And I'm here with him. But I guess he wanted to lean into you. So he called you. But you were too busy worrying about your elder son's shifting and all that you didn't even let him tell you."

"Is- Is he okay?"

"His fever has gone down a little. And his cast was replaced. The nurse said he should be careful if he wants the fracture to heal." I told her.

"Oh god, I'm- I'm such a bad mother." She whispered shakily.

"I wouldn't say bad," I said. "Maybe not just enough of a mother."

She sucked in a sharp breath. "Priya, I'm sorry."

"I'm not the one you should be sorry to. It's Aditya. But to be honest, I think he has stopped believing your apologies. You know, when people do the same thing, over and over again, say they won't anymore, but still end up doing it, that's when you realise there's no hope. Aditya sees no hope in you, Mo-Ma'am." I corrected myself.

She choked out a cry, sounding helpless thousands of miles apart.

"We won't be bringing any chocolates. I'm sorry, it's nothing personal. But I just don't want him to remember you worrying about your elder son's chocolates while he was attached to an IV. I hope you understand. I'm just looking out for my husband." I said and hung up without waiting for her response.

Fortunately, Aditya was fast asleep by the time I returned to the room. I was worried he won't be able to sleep after the phone call with his mom. But I guess the medicines helped.

I stayed up until it was time to remove the drip. The nurse came at three am and got it off for him. He stirred a little in his sleep, wiggling his broken fingers with a groan.

"It must be itchy inside," she whispered, looking at him pitifully.

"Oh,"

"Try blowing at his fingers or just caress the open space around them. He'll feel better." She suggested before leaving.

I followed her advice, hoping it to work. Thankfully it did. The frown on his face faded and he fell back asleep. I draped the hand back on the pillow, quietly moving the stool to get up. The hospital provided me with a blue blanket but not a pillow so I adjusted myself on the small couch and slept using my arm as a cushion.

The next morning, I stirred feeling the sun rays fall directly on my face. But then suddenly they were shadowed and I heaved a sigh. A few seconds later, the rays glared at me again. I groaned, internally thanking the shadows when they reappeared. But the rays sneaked in again, finally breaking my half-slumber state.

I cracked my eyes open, hissing at the burning rays before coolness replaced them, Aditya's figure blocking them from reaching me. I sat up and looked at him.

"You should be resting."

"I feel better now." He shrugged inclining to the side, revealing me to the bright sunlight.

I groaned and covered my face. I heard him laugh before he shielded me with his shadow again.

"Is it fun?" I glared up at him, dropping my hands to my lap.

He nodded with a hum, his lips pressed to resist a smile.

"You're evil," I accused.

"No. It's just fun playing around with you." He chuckled and turned around to pull down the windows before coming to plop beside me. I pulled my legs closer, making space for him to sit.

"Did you sleep well?" I asked him softly.

He leaned in with his arms bracing the knees, unable to interlock them since one hand had a cast and the other had a saline syringe shoved up his veins. "I did. What about you? It must have been uncomfortable to sleep on this couch. It's not very soft either." He said, shifting a little to test his theory.

"It was okay." I lied.

A knock on the door caught our attention. I got up as the doctor entered the room. He requested Aditya take his place back on the bed so he can run some basic check up on him. Aditya obliged and I waited at the end of the bed patiently.

"It's all fine now. He looks well." The doctor smiled.

I heaved a sigh of relief.

"With enough sleep and food, he would be all okay. And make sure to not put a strain on your right hand. It doesn't look good from what I noticed last night in the X-ray. You're not helping it heal." The doctor advised.

"Don't worry, I'll make sure he doesn't use it much." I nodded.

The doctor hummed, looking at his board. "Well, everything looks good. His reports are all normal. Except for his stress levels." He met my eyes. "If you wish, I can get in touch with some counselors in India. I'm sure-"

"I'm fine." Aditya cut in.

I looked at him worriedly. "But the doctor is saying-"

"I said, I'm fine!"

"You are not." The doctor said sternly. "I'm the doctor here, so let me do my work."

Aditya clenched his jaw and looked away.

"There's nothing else to worry about. We can discharge him immediately. But may I have a word with you first?" The doctor looked at me.

"Yeah, sure, doctor." I nodded readily.

"Call me Lawrence, this way please," he said and motioned to me with his hand. I followed him out after a glance at Aditya. He didn't look too happy.

We entered his office and I sat across from him at the desk.

"As I said in the room that your husband is too stubborn to acknowledge, he has high-stress levels and hypertension. The reason why he has frequent indigestion, acidity, and other issues. Now there are multiple solutions to this. Homeopathy treatments, meditation, yoga, exercise, and a balanced diet. But the one thing that'll really help is some counselling. He needs to let his steam off the right way. Not bottle it up to the point it affects his health."

I nodded in agreement.

"Don't stress about it, Ma'am. It's nothing to worry about if he doesn't overdo it. He is absolutely fine overall. To be honest, we wouldn't have been aware of this if you hadn't requested for full body check-up. It's a great thing you did. Because there's definitely more than what's on the surface that needs to be addressed."

"Do you really think counseling will help?"

"It has to." He nodded. "I have got a few friends in India who are in the profession, do you want me to get in touch with them in advance?"

"That would be of great help," I answered.

"Alright, then, this is my card. I'll let you know when I talk to them."

I pocketed the card and got up to take my leave. "Thank you so much, doc- Lawrence."

He nodded with a smile. "Have a great day ahead."

"You too," I said and left the office.

The discharge and payment procedure occupied an hour of mine. After which I booked a cab and helped Aditya get in before entering the car myself.

We reached the hotel in less than fifteen minutes. The hotel staff was quite helpful, producing a duplicate key to the room since I forgot the original in the room last night. The same bellboy from the day before yesterday accompanied us to the room and opened the door considering he had to take the key back to the reception. I tipped him as an apology for all the inconvenience.

"We're getting on a cruise tonight for the sightseeing, yeah?" He asked as he settled on the edge of the bed.

I placed all the things on the table, heaving an exhausted sigh. "We're not going."

"Priya!"

"What!?" I snapped, turning to face him. "Do you always only think about yourself, Aditya!? I want this, I'm getting it. I can't do this, I'm not doing it. I want to do it, I'm doing it. Snap out of it, Aditya. For god's sake, you're not a child! Didn't you hear what the doctor said!? You need sleep and rest!"

"But I'm fine." He said meekly, lowering his head to look at his lap.

I sighed in guilt, regretting my words immediately. Climbing the bed, I reached to hug him. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have snapped at you like that."

"It's okay, I give you reasons to." He muttered sheepishly.

I pulled away and rested my head against his shoulder. "I can't see you like that again, Aditya. You were burning up in high fever, your hand was all swollen because I was stupid enough to forget you got your cast wet and you were barely conscious. I felt so helpless last night. I haven't felt like that in years now. I couldn't communicate with the staff, could barely remember phone numbers, I felt so stranded in a foreign country. Thank God, Divya and Dhruv helped us out."

He exhaled deeply. "I'm sorry."

"No, I didn't say all that to get an apology from you. I said it to make you say, that okay, Priya, if I lean on you, I'll let you help me too." I looked at him tenderly.

He turned his head and bent it so our foreheads touched. "I don't want to regret these days. And I don't want you to regret them either. Please." He requested. "I've also used up all my savings. Can't you see how pitiful I am?" He pulled away with a pout, giving me a puppy look. "Can you be a little generous, Mrs. Shrivastava, huh?" He poked my ribs.

I hate to admit it but he looked so darn adorable I wanted to squish him so bad.

"Alright," I said and he fist pumped. "But you're resting the whole day. Don't even think of getting out of the bed unless you have to use the washroom."

"Yes, boss!"

I ruffled his hair. "Good boy."

"Don't turn me on if you want me to rest." He stated boldly before disappearing inside the bathroom. "I'm showering first!" He declared. "Ah, I need to take a cold one now."

I swallowed, frozen in my place.

This man is going to be the death of me one day.

Priya finally snapped. God, I was waiting for it.

Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Don't forget to vote and comment. Makes my day.