54. yeh sunne ke liye toh mere kaan taras gaye the (I was dying to hear that from you.)

Warning: mature themes throughout the chapter.

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Her words brought back the memories I didn't want to remember.

"It's painful, it hurts and it's so uncomfortable!"

The anxiety settled into me faster than I realised. With a shake of my head, I pulled away, not willing to put us through it again. I would be stupid if I agreed because I know she is stupid enough to go through the whole thing even if she regrets it halfway. It established the fact that communication is still an undeveloped quality in our relationship.

"Wh- What happened?" She got up, covering herself with the robe awkwardly.

"My- My arm hurts," I lied.

I think she knew it was a lie. But she pretended it wasn't. I was grateful for that. I don't think I was ready for a confrontation yet, especially on this topic.

"Okay," she whispered, getting off the bed and rushing inside the bathroom. I flinched hearing the door slam closed.

I released my knees from the fold and sat down on the bed, reaching for the wet wipes on the nightstand to clean my hands. Her taste still lingered on my tongue, and the heat of the moment, of desire and lust still flared through my veins. But the passion wore off the moment she asked for me.

I wasn't ready for it.

I wasn't ready to think about my pleasure.

What if I prioritise myself over her again? What if I hurt her again? What if she lies again? And what if I fail to discern them from what she really felt?

She is the only good thing in my life right now. I can't ruin it by making myself the only bad thing in hers.

"Aditya," I didn't turn around completely but tilted my head in acknowledgment. "Are you still hurt about it?"

I shook my head.

Not hurt.

Probably scared, anxious, afraid, I guess.

"I trust you now." She muttered softly.

I nodded, not having anything to say. That's relieving to hear. But I don't trust myself yet. I don't want to be termed as a failure again. Especially in her life.

"This whole time I've been selfish, Aditya," her words stiffened me. "Every night I saw you going to the bathroom after we did it but I pretended to not notice. Why? Because I loved the pleasure and care you provided me in the bed. I knew you wanted me to give you the same attention and love in the bedroom as much as you give me, but I dwelled safely in my conservative bubble, telling myself that I'm not used to these things so I shouldn't force myself into it. But somewhere I knew it was because I just didn't want to. I wanted to bask in it as long as I can while overlooking the fact that my partner needs me just as much as I need him."

I swallowed the bubbling heaviness in my throat.

"Aditya," she whispered.

I hummed, not trusting myself to speak a word incase I stutter.

Instead of hearing her, I felt her, near me, on the bed. My eyes darted in her direction, locking on the smile dancing on her face. She was still wearing the same clothes, the knot of the robe lose on her stomach, the collar almost slipping off her arm. Her hair was a perfect mess, flawed in every direction, but still cascading like vines onto her shoulders, dark like night.

"I have a question to ask,"

I nodded.

"I see your shelf every day, I've read most of their titles and the names of the authors, but rarely have I noticed them to be males. Why? You don't like books written by men?"

I frowned. Is she really asking me this? In this situation? I thought she'll say something emotional.

I shrugged. "I've books written by men. They are on the last shelf. Horror and Action."

She chuckled. "That's all men write?"

"No, I mean, they do write romance. But they are not that great. Probably, only a few. Most of them sexualised women and I don't think they understand how women's anatomy works."

"Women do?"

"Of course." I deadpanned.

"No, I mean, women understand men's anatomy?"

"Understand is too certain," I answered. "Maybe aware?"

"What's the difference?"

"Women write us like we're human,"

"What is that supposed to mean?" She frowned.

"In books, we cry, we love, we make stupid decisions, and we have the courage to accept them. We change, we are flawed, we are of all colors, sometimes we protect, sometimes we need protection, we are kind, flirty, loyal, and respectful. We easily understand women, we make them happy. We fight for them, we stand for them, we hold their hand and promise to never let go. We love them like they're the one. It's beautiful and fascinating how different we are portrayed in books than how we are perceived in real life." I answered.

"And the intimacy? How do women write it?"

"It's beautiful." I nodded. "It doesn't feel like straight-up sex or aggressive intercourse. There's gentleness, consent, respect, and care. It feels like art, as it is supposed to be. The art of creation, the art of nature."

"And how do men write it?"

"Porn." I scoffed.

She smiled in amusement. "I'm a woman too, you know?"

"I did not think of you as a man until now," I said sarcastically.

She rolled her eyes, but the smile stayed. "What I'm saying is," she rose on her knees, her hands coming to place themselves on my shoulders. "Since I'm a woman, and according to you we represent intercourse as more than sex, how about you trust me this once?"

I swallowed as she slowly laid me on my back. "Huh?"

"Trust me," she murmured looking into my eyes.

"For what?"

"For this," she leaned into me softly, her lips silencing me from voicing out my confusion. I froze underneath her, my trembling hand rising to touch her elbow, hesitant to pull her closer. "Close your eyes, love," the words were brushed against my lips, incoherent to my senses but somehow my eyes obeyed, falling close at her request.

"Did you like plan the conversation or something before asking me that question?" I asked when she pulled away because I wasn't responding to the kiss.

"No, I was genuinely curious." She chuckled. "But it worked in my favour just fine." She nodded, stroking my cheek with her thumb.

"But-"

"Now shush and kiss me." My eyes closed back feeling her mouth press on mine.

I reciprocated her movements, letting my lips submit to hers, kissing her the way she was kissing me. Gently, lovingly, slowly, like we had a time of the world, as though it has all halted, the air, the breathing, and the dead, all ceased from the moment we centered ourselves around each other's existence. I inhaled deeply, filling my senses with her sweet floral scent, my mouth opened wider to taste her at the tip of my tongue, our lips unable to let go of each other despite the shortness of breath shackling our lungs. I wounded my arms around her waist, flipping our positions so I was on top of her.

"Aditya!" She patted my arm desperately, as though tapping out of some kind of wrestling match.

"What?" I pulled away.

She blinked, licking her swollen lips before she fumbled for a response.

"What happened?"

"Can't I- Can't I stay on top?" She pursed her lips, looking at me genuinely curious.

"I thought this will be more comfortable for you?" I wondered.

She nodded.

"Then?"

"This isn't about my comfort though. It's about you." She said making my heart skip a beat. I must be stupid to tear up at such a small thing but it felt good to be on the receiving side of someone's consideration. So far, Priya has been the only one doing that. Being more than a wife, more than a friend, a partner, a family. She has suddenly become the center my world orbits around.

"No, meri jaan, nothing is about me alone. It's always about us." I cupped her face.

She got up wordlessly, making me seat up as well. My brows raised as she climbed my thighs, settling herself on my lap like a feline. "Yeah, this seems about right. I can do things."

I chuckled. "Are we doing a science project or something?"

She blushed under my amused ladened gaze.

"I want to pleasure you," she mumbled. "I want you to be the one enjoying it this time."

I rested my forehead against hers. "I love it when I make you moan, Priya. When you scream my name and reach out for me desperately. When you cling to me like I'm the anchor keeping you afloat. When you look at me this way," I nudged her cheek. "When you trust me. That's my pleasure, Priya. You are my pleasure. You, in every form, in every moment, whether it's day or night, you are the one I'm intimate with every second of my life, and not just physically."

She responded by kissing me brazenly, her hands grasping at the ends of my hair on the nape, my head tilting to match her eagerness, mouth falling open to her sweet abuse. It was absolutely devastating the way touched me, hands sliding down my arms, unraveling me with a simple glide of her firm flesh, wrapping around my wrist, stroking my pulse points before guiding them to hold her at the waist. I pulled her even closer, the position we were in exposing us to the ease it brought, letting our cores brush and chests connect.

I could hear my heart racing wildly. Or was it hers? It was hard to comprehend since the sound echoed in my ears very vividly, as though both of our hearts were scratching at our insides, wanting to break through and meet each other, reveal the one who's making them lose their senses, their normalcy, their usual momentum.

I gasped when she pushed me back on the bed, laying me flat. Before I had the chance to respond, her hand interlaced with mine, keeping it pinned to my side. Her lips chased down my jaw, scattering open-mouthed kisses all over my skin. I felt her suck at the pulse point on my neck, causing my eyes to roll in the back of my head. I swear I saw heaven for a moment. The light was too bright and the feeling was overwhelming.

"Pri-Priya," I mumbled brokenly, escaping her firm grip to push her hair behind her shoulders so I can see her face.

Fuck, she looked devoted to my body. As though worshipping it was the ultimate source of her Nirvana. "Priya," I breathed out, cupping her nape and pressing her into the nook of my neck. My plastered hand went around her waist, hiking her on top of my body, her legs slotting into mine. Fisting her hair into my hand, I steered her lips to the other side of my neck, breathing through my mouth for she didn't fail to steal my breath. Her lips traveled down my chest, stopping on the swell of my pecs, before resuming their way downward.

"Aditya," she met my eyes and I looked at her curiously. "Now you can switch our positions,"

I obeyed the request swiftly.

She gasped, her hands flying to my shoulders. "I'm always amazed by the strength you show in the bed."

"Yeah?"

"Even suggesting you take stairs for a change instead of the elevator gets you all out of breath," she chuckled.

"Maybe because I don't mind climbing you?" I tilted my head to the side.

She flustered underneath me.

"What next, Priya?"

Her gaze lifted to meet mine, certainty in them unlike what I felt at that moment. She confidently reached to undo the strings of my sweats, stiffening me on top of her.

"Aditya,"

I looked back at her anxiously.

"I love you," she confessed.

My entire body froze, reality abandoning me somewhere confused. The words had a meaning I understood despite feeling overwhelmed and stuck, but the owner of the confession cornered me into thinking whether those words were really said or I was simply hearing things.

"Aditya," she placed her hand on my shoulder, flinching me from the daze.

"Wh-What did you say?"

"I love you," she bit her lower lip gently. "I thought you already knew."

"Of course I do," I confirmed. "I don't know the difference it made hearing you finally say it but it did. A very big one."

The corners of her lips lifted in a slow smile. "Then isn't it right for you to return my love now?" Her hand traveled up to cup my nape.

"Hmm?"

"Love me, Aditya, the way you want to love me." She whispered.

Fuck the insecurities.

Letting go of the inhibitions, I dived back to kiss her passionately. She responded by wrapping her arms around my neck, pulling me closer. I undid the knot of her robe, causing it to fall open before my hand sneaked inside the silk fabric, finding my most favourite part of her body. She gasped against my lips when I cupped her whole mound in my hand. I took that as an opportunity to kiss her deeper, my tongue freely exploring every inch of her mouth.

My hips met hers for a thrust, our cores brushing through the fabric, creating mind-boggling friction that had me groaning under my breath. I quickly removed my pants and pushed the hem of her dress up, revealing her bare to me. I pushed my hips forward, chasing the friction, but wanting it more intense this time. She tossed her head back, clutching onto the headboard as it rattled against the wall. I buried my face in the nook of her neck, sucking and bruising her soft flesh. I love it when I'm able to color her brown skin red and blue, her melanin always embraces my touch eagerly.

"Aditya!" She gasped over and over again, chanting my name like a mantra. "Aditya, more,"

"More?" I breathed against her skin. "More, what, meri jaan?"

"You," she answered breathlessly. "remove this," her fingers tugged at my briefs.

I obliged immediately because who was I to defy her? I was hers and so was my body.

Magic happened when our bare cores touched. Remember the sparks and butterflies I was talking about that were missing? Yeah, this is where they live. At this moment. When we were the most vulnerable to each other, brazen and naked in each other's arms. My body chased hers just as frantically as she sought mine, our limbs tangled in a way I could barely remember, it was our hips doing all the talking.

And then I slowed down, bringing us down from the high because I needed the higher rise to fall from. She opened her eyes, realising why I stopped. Her legs opened wider, as though she was reassuring me by entrusting herself with me. I smiled, pushing the tip of my erection between her slick folds, rubbing myself back and forth. She got even more wet, lubricating me along with herself.

"Pl- Please," she begged, gripping my waist and pushing me closer. "Please,"

I nudged myself inside slowly, gritting my teeth when her walls clenched around me. I wasn't even halfway inside but she was already gasping for breath. "Does it hurt?" I asked. "Don't lie," I added as a warning.

"There's a slight discomfort but I'm not hurt." She looked into my eyes. "I swear, I'm not lying."

I edged myself inside a little more.

"Oh my God," she tossed her head back. "Oh God, oh God, oh God," she writhed, her legs locking around my hips, pushing me deeper inside. I grunted loudly, blind pleasure overloading my senses. "This feels good," she sighed, her chest heaving up and down. "Please, move," she requested.

I obeyed wordlessly, pulling myself out to the tip and then slipping back in until the hilt. We moaned together. I gripped the headboard, my hand on top of hers, swallowing her tiny one. She turned her hand around and interlocked our fingers, bringing our hands beside her head, turning her head and burying her face into it as I began to move in and out, setting a pace that was both hard and fast, sometimes slowing to hear her directions before gaining back the momentum to follow them.

Priya writhed under me, words turning into a blubbering mess for her. I watched the tears that fell from the corner of her clenched eyes, rolling down her temples and into the maze of her hair. Cupping her chin, I turned her face. She forced her eyes open, and they rolled immediately as I thrust into her.

Intense pleasure gripped me from all sides, sweat blossoming on our naked skins. I leaned down to kiss her, trying to keep the grunts of pleasure to a minimum. It was hard so I made her mouth swallow them for me. She kissed me back passionately, desperate pouring through her lips, but it was messy, with teeth clashing and our mouths barely able to hold onto each other since our bodies were connected deeper than what the surface showed.

"Priya, I'm closer," I told her softly.

She nodded, "I'm too."

With a few more powerful thrusts, we were closer to the edge of it. I waited until she was finished before pulling myself out and releasing myself on her thighs. She watched with wide eyes as the thick white liquid sputtered all over her bare legs. I finished the last of it with the help of my hand.

"Wo- Wow," she blinked down at her legs. "That's a lot of it. You're a murderer." She looked at me.

I pressed my lips together to not laugh and reached for the tissues on the nightstand. She let me clean her before waiting patiently as I cleaned myself. "C'mon, now, let's take a shower." I scooped her in my arms.

"Your pull-out game is stronger than your lungs," she commented, swaying her legs in the air as I carried her to the bathroom.

"Are you making fun of my asthma right now?" I frowned, settling her on the floor and grabbing the polythene bag that we keep with ourselves to cover my plastered hand. She helped me put it on.

"Yes, I am. I heard somewhere humor is the best way to deal with life." She nodded.

"That's true," I agreed, keeping my plastered hand out of the reach of water as she lathered the rest of my body with the bodywash. When it was her turn, I did the same for her, albeit a little clumsily.

"I really thought I'll have to end my honeymoon high and dry," she chuckled.

I looked at her amused. "You're in no room to complain."

"I know right," she pursed her lips together. "Poor thing suffered a long life of abstinence without even wanting to," she looked down at me pitifully.

"Shut up and don't look down," I forced her chin up.

"Why? Are you embarrassed?"

"Yes, and you are shameless. What's gotten into you since we came here?" I frowned.

She laughed, tossing her arms around my neck. "I love you."

"Uh? That was random." I said, resisting the smile as butterflies fluttered inside my belly.

"I know right?" She tilted her head to the side. "It all happened so randomly. Us meeting each other, choosing each other, falling in love with each other. How random."

I nodded with a hum.

"Aditya, remember you told me about the red string of fate?"

"What about it?"

"How you said you stole me from someone because you were born six years later? And that you severed the red string I might have had with someone else?"

"Yeah,"

"I think you are wrong." She smiled.

"How?"

"We met despite our age, our status, our contrasting natures, and the slim chances of us ever choosing each other. There must be a reason."

"What do you think it is?"

"Now that's a question that probably has no answer. Let's just say it was the red string of fate." She smiled up at me.

I chuckled, accepting her answer. It was too unreal, mythical, but if it means she was always meant to be mine, I've no qualms embracing it as though it was as real as her existence.

Finally, the long awaited chapter is all yours to read now.

The next chapter will be last and then an epilogue. Wow, it has been quiet a journey. From starting the book with the thought of writing a novella to turning it into a full-fledged novel. But it was amazing.

Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Don't forget to vote and comment. Makes my day.