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I watch the moon, let it run my mood

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In the middle of the night, my alarm went off. I'd set it for four in the morning, like I always did, and I went for my window as soon as I'd turned it off.

The moon was high in the sky, surrounded by stars, and it glowed softly in the night. My room was washed gray from the light as I stared out of the window, my cheek pressed against the glass.

My thoughts turned back to him, as they always did. It was our anniversary, one year, but he hadn't remembered. I'd planned a surprise dinner and bought movie tickets for a new movie he'd been wanting to see but, when I'd called him and told him I had a surprise and asked him to meet me in the park near our homes, he had turned me down.

He'd been going to see the movie with his friends.

He denied being distant every time I brought it up to him and I had no one else to go to, since my friends had long since pulled away from me. I showed him love, trying to get the attention he used to give me back, but he accepted the love but I never received anything in return.

When we'd first started dating, he'd been sweet and loving. We liked the same things and could talk about them for hours, pulling all-nighters over the weekends and laughing in the dark.

We used to both have our alarms set for four in the morning and call each other, both watching the moon as we spoke softly into our phones, but I was unsure if he still did. I'd always done this, ever since I could remember, and had shared it with him.

Whenever I couldn't see the moon, my mood seemed to dip until it returned. Full moons always made me the happiest and eclipses were something I cherished. He had too, once, with me but the memories were tainted now.

He tended to walk over other people, seeming to forget that they were real people, but would almost always apologize after some prodding. He always seemed to be annoyed whenever I'd ask him to say sorry and it'd sometimes seem a little fake but it was okay, I'd thought.

Whatever he did would always be okay.

Until now.

I'd never been able to rely on him for anything. I couldn't ask him to get me something or call me at a certain time, except during moon watching. He bailed on our plans often, choosing his friends over me again and again.

He acted as though no one would catch him and hold him accountable, until I started to. He seemed to become colder the more I noticed his imperfections. He pulled away the sweet boy I'd gotten to know.

I picked up my phone.

4:19.

I unlocked it and opened my contacts, finding his quickly since I'd never unfavorited it, despite everything that had happened. I pressed call and lifted my phone to my ear, listening to the quite ringing.

It rang once, twice, then stopped.

A soft "hello?"

I sat in silence, waiting. He sounded wide awake and I knew he'd been up watching the moon like I had been. Too late.

"It was nice knowing you," I whispered, my voice breaking the silence. He remained quiet, waiting for my words, "I'll be moving on now."

Neither of us said anything for a few minutes before he sighed and said, "Okay." Seconds after, he hung up and my room was quiet again. I dropped my phone and hit my forehead against the window, tears rolling down my cheeks, as clouds covered my beautiful moon.

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can't stop thinking of you...

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