I finally left him and went back to my own life. It took a while for the news to die down and I stayed hidden during the chaos out there. I didn't go on any social media for months and only spoke to people close to me through a new number.

I was finally safe and life went on for me.... And him too. I stalked a bit and checked any news outlet and went on Youtube to see how he's doing.

Of course, the band is still doing good and bouncing back through their music. As usual, when he dances and sing, it's as if all problems didn't exist. He looked happy and problem free on stage, on camera..... But I do still capture that flash of emotion in his eyes when I watch him. It shows those split seconds where he isn't in the moment. When his mind is elsewhere, I know it. When he looks sad, I know it.

I see them all.

I know the choice was already made and I can't go back. We can't go back. Unless we can and then face life head on and stronger.

Sometimes, I wished I should have been stronger, mature, and better. Maybe we would've lasted.

Oh well. One thing that I do is write poems dedicated to him, one that he may never be able to read.

"The stage crowned you king but power comes with a price,
Surrounded by masked smiles, greed and bribes,
Ingenuine hearts reflected in their eyes.

But a king so powerful with a heart of gold,
Rose to the top, courageous and bold,
You are a king who rains hope across the land,
Gaining seas of stars overflowing in your hands

Your smile shines ever so bright,
Like the sun in the universe sharing its light,
Your eyes dusted with a hundred galaxies,
Captivating millions and fishing jewels from the sea

Among the ocean of the world's confusion,
We found each other, setting our fate in motion,
Tender kisses, graceful passion, and bright days,
We both knew that the future awaits

Storms and wildfires plagued our path,
Our home destroyed in human's wrath
Our hearts pulled apart and the cold ruled the earth,
We struggle through the journey of a frozen curse

Time flies by as we drift far and far,
My heart longs for you as I look upon the stars
Without certainty I walk to find my way to you
Can I still meet you? My world's never been so blue

Even from the distance, I watch you rule the kingdom,
Your eyes seem far as your heart seeks freedom
If we are given another chance to be in love again,
Will you still welcome me back and heal what had been broken?"