Chapter 34: Pure Sugar
The auditorium was quiet, except for a few hushed whispers among the spectators in the half-moon-shaped space. Several hundred pairs of eyes--a rough and probably exaggerated estimation-- were directed at Robin as he walked out on the stage for his presentation. Instantly, a knot formed itself in his chest, expanding by the second and making it hard for him to breathe. His palms and forehead started to drip with sweat. The spotlights beaming down on him appeared as bright as the sun itself.
"Welcome our last speaker of the day, Robin Erie!" the speaker announced.
He could do this. He could do this. He could fucking do this. He could do this for Ty. He could do this for himself.
The mantra seemed to work. By sheer will, Robin made his breaths deeper and slower. Oxygen started to swirl in his blood vessels once again, bringing strength to his vocal cords. The words were ingrained in his brain like a nursery rhyme, he just had to force his body to utter them.
Looking up, Robin momentarily became overwhelmed by the number of people looking back at him. But he didn't let the fear settle. Instead, he started to speak. "I'm," Robin began. "I'm here to present a possible research project, focusing on identifying cases of Munchhausen by proxy in adolescents, that I hope to take on-"
That's when he saw her. Steely blue eyes without compassion drilled into him. Liza Erie didn't smile as she gave her son a slight nod.
Robin forgot to breathe. He forgot where he even was. For a moment, there was only sheer panic.
She was here. She would watch every second and hear every word of this presentation.
The presentation. As if his mother's presence was enough, it dawned on Robin what he was about to present. Slide after slide detailing the harrowing treatment she'd put him through as a child. Sure, he wouldn't speak about his own experience, but the topic in itself should be enough to clue her in. All the list of common signs should ring a bell. She would know that he knew. And who knew what that knowledge would drive her to do?
He couldn't do this. It was impossible. Inconceivable. Incompatible with his desire to avoid confrontation.
Blurry shapes danced before his eyes as his throat constricted, letting no air in and no words out. Dread bubbled in his chest like dark tar threatening to drown him. He would sink into a dark pit of bitter despair forever.
She would take this from him. She would take everything. Just like she always did.
That's when the doors to the auditorium flew open. A draft of fresh air blew inside, carrying with it lollipops and candy canes. Blond curls caught Robin's attention. The mere sight made him gasp, making air once again flow into his lungs. The room came back into focus. His mother's glare stopped hurting. Bitter despair was replaced by sweet relief.
Ty was here. Robin didn't know how or why but it hardly mattered. Just having those green eyes look at him with affection was enough to jolt courage into his veins again, like an injection of pure sugar.
"Excuse me," one of the organizers told the newcomer. "You can't just barge in here like this. Spectators were told to arrive in good time before the presentations started."
"Well maybe you should have made sure your venue had an elevator then," Ty threw back, letting the door close with a loud thump behind him. "I've hobbled up ten flights of stairs on these." He overdramatically displayed his crutches, making his point quite clear. "Disability accommodation is a thing, you know..."
The man didn't have a good response to that retort.
Meanwhile, Des--who of course had come to watch her best friend's presentation, after forcing him to eat a nutritious breakfast in preparation--waved toward Ty, scooting over in her seat to make room for him. With everyone's eyes on him, Ty made his way to the aisle in the front. But despite all this attention coming his way, Tyler still made time to wave toward Robin and, once he had got in his seat, even throw an air kiss toward his boyfriend.
The kiss found its way to Robin and made the knot in his throat dissolve completely. "Thank you," he mumbled, once again finding his words. Robin didn't look over to observe his mother's reaction to the life-saving kiss. Instead, he touched right above his heart with his hand, to show Tyler where the kiss had landed. Tyler reacted with a smile as joyous as Christmas morning.
"Carry on!" Tyler loudly urged the still-stumped organizers. "I believe cutie... Robby... Mr. Erie, I mean, was about to start his presentation. I'm sorry for the interruption."
Robin took a deep breath and looked over toward Ty, who proudly beamed back at him. The sweet smile washed away the bitterness of his mother's scowl. She didn't matter. Whatever reason she was here didn't matter. Only Ty mattered.
A sense of peace instilled itself in Robin's body. Every limb felt light and free. He felt like he could fly.
Because his mother was no longer binding his wings. She couldn't hurt him anymore.
"I'm Robin Erie," he proclaimed, loudly and clearly, to every member of the audience. "And I'm here to present a possible research project, focusing on identifying cases of Munchhausen by proxy in adolescents, that I hope to take on if I receive the Tully Scholarship." Robin clicked the computer to toggle to his first slide. He took a deep breath.
He could do this. Robin knew he could.
Tyler winked at him. The words flowed. There was no one but them in the room. At least no one who mattered.
About twenty minutes later, as that was the allotted time for each presentation, applauds roared as Robin stepped off the stage. He walked right past the bench where the other presenting students nervously waited. Instead, he walked with determination toward blonde curls. Ty smiled at him, just like he had throughout the whole performance. A proud beaming smile just for him.
A cautious gaze toward his mother on the other side of the aisle confirmed that she was still present. But her demeanor told Robin nothing about how she'd received his presentation. Surely she must know though. She must know that he knew everything. And she might try to hurt him for it.
She might even try to hurt Ty. That was the scariest thought of all.
Robin wouldn't let her. He would protect Tyler like he wished someone had protected him when he needed it.
Robin reached his hand out to beckon Tyler to stand. "Come here," he said.
Supporting himself on the armrest, Tyler made his way into Robin's arms, not even needing his crutches. Robin put his hands around Tyler's waist, to ensure that his boyfriend didn't fall.
"Hi," Tyler whispered into the crook of Robin's neck. Hot breath touching sensitive skin made goosebumps spread all over Robin's body.
"You came," Robin mumbled into wondrously smelling curls. "How did you even know?"
"Des," Tyler explained, putting his hands on Robin's shoulders to pull him closer. "She called and yelled at me for not being there for you. She can be quite scary, you know. But once she understood that I didn't know what you were going through, she told me everything."
Robin gave his best friend a grateful smile. Of course, she knew what he needed and made sure he got it. She always knew better than himself. Des shrugged, like she'd done nothing out of the ordinary, but smiled back.
Across Tyler's shoulder, Robin caught a glance of his mother. She stared at them with unbridled fury in her eyes. Robin had seldom seen such heated emotion from her. Control was what Liza strived for at all times. Control of her husband, her son, and every detail of their life. Cold and hard control.
But she couldn't control Robin anymore.
Tipsy on adrenaline and love, Robin put his hand on Tyler's jaw, caressing the slight stubble with his fingertips. He urged the lush lips closer until there was no space between them. All that remained was deep defiant passion, expressed in a kiss intended to make up for all those kisses that hadn't happened when Robin had been too scared to display their love in public.
Robin wasn't scared anymore.
He wanted everyone to know what he felt for Ty. He wanted everyone to see the unbreakable bond between them. Especially his mother.
Just as he removed his lips from Tyler's, Robin heard a smatter of quick steps across the tile floor. He turned his head to discover his mother glaring at them from mere feet away.
"I didn't know this would be a damn circus," she spitted out, anger radiating from her eyes. But beneath the burning fury was something else. Something Robin recognized.
Fear. His mother was scared. Scared of losing her son. Scared of being exposed. Scared of not mattering.
"Then you should leave," Robin wheezed at her, not wanting to make a scene. Although that was perhaps too late as everyone's eyes turned toward them, wondering what was going on. "I didn't ask you to come."
"You will regret this, Robin." His mother turned, heels clinking as she walked toward the doors to the auditorium.
Opening the door, Liza threw a dark glance toward her son. It looked like she wanted to say something, but the attention from the crowd made her abstain. The subject of her son's presentation did put her in a precarious position.
The door slammed as his mother finally exited.
For a moment, Robin wanted to run after. He wanted to tell her everything he'd never told her. He wanted to tell her how she'd hurt him.
But the warm body next to him begged him to stay. Tyler pressed soft lips against Robin's cheek.
"Was that?" Tyler asked. "That was your mother, right?"
Robin nodded, a sigh escaping his lips. "It was... I guess I'm out to her now." He buried his face in Tyler's shoulder.
"You want to go after her?" Tyler asked. "And explain, I mean."
Robin shook his head decisively. He would never make the mistake of leaving Tyler to deal with his mother again. She wasn't important.
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