Chapter 28: Bitter medicine

Robin's room was usually his sanctuary. It was where he could breathe after an intense day at school or a straining weekend with his mother. It was a place where no one could hurt him. It was his impenetrable castle.

But now the castle was taken by the enemy. An enemy who looted every corner and took possession of even the most sacred of places.

The invading queen sat on the bed when he walked inside. The same bed where he mere hours ago had shared intimate moments with his beloved consort. It seemed so distant and unreal now when the walls were besieged and the castle had fallen. All the kingdom's most revered secrets were revealed and its stores were looted.

Drawers were opened and emptied, and counters, tables, and shelves were bare. His TV, laptop, and school books were missing and even the periodic table on the wall was torn down. Only the furniture that had been there when he moved in remained.

"Where are my stuff?" Robin asked meekly, as he looked at the oddly bare space and tried to process what had gone down.

His mother didn't answer his question, nor did she greet him with any pleasantries or polite phrases. "Who do these belong to?" was her only question as Robin sat down on the desk chair opposite of her. In an attempt to shield his heart, he curled up with his knees in front of him.

A pile of clothes lay beside her. Hoodies. Underwear. A red Liverpool jersey. A pair of ice cream cone-covered pajama pants.

On top of the pile, a pack of condoms balanced. They hadn't used them. They hadn't even talked about it yet. But Robin had thought about it since that day when they went to the beach. Like a lot. So he kept the package from the rainbow bag in his bedside table. Because, maybe, one day, he and Ty would want to try the kind of activities where prophylactics were needed.

He certainly didn't want to discuss his curiosity about such activities with his mother.

His face turned scarlet red at the mere sight of the silvery packaging and he momentarily forgot about the looted room. "No one..." he mumbled in reply to her question. No matter what, he didn't want to divulge Tyler's identity to his mother.

"Don't play dumb with me, son," she spitted back at him and pulled up her phone from her pocket. "Is this no one?"

A picture on the screen was shoved in his face. A picture of Tyler and himself, dressed as Batman and Robin, wrapped up in sweet kissing among blinking pumpkin lights. She flipped through more pictures. Him and Tyler cuddling on a bench on campus. Them walking side by side to class. Even them eating dinner at Rose's Diner.

"You had someone spy on me," Robin surmised, realizing now where the feeling of being watched had come from. It had not been paranoia or an overly active imagination.

"Well, what was I to do, Robin?" she sneered. "You were being unreasonable and it was obvious that you were hiding something."

"You could have just... asked me?" he replied meekly. "Or you could have let me be. I'm an adult. I'm allowed to be with whoever I want."

Liza just huffed in response, like the statement was preposterous.

"So who he is, Robin?" his mother urged him. "Who is it that has turned your head like this?"

"No one," he repeated in a weak voice. Because Tyler wasn't hers. Tyler was his. And he would never let her take him. Like she took Tristan Conway. "He's no one you need to know about."

"It's the guy you were tutoring, right? I should have known... You became different after you started doing that."

"I became me," Robin mumbled, but his mother didn't seem to even hear him.

"But perhaps he's just one of many..." Liza continued, shaking her head in disgust. "Who knows when it comes to these kinds of ideas? There might be no limit to the depravity."

Her words were venomous but somehow they didn't hurt him. Perhaps love had made him immune to her venom.

Robin shook his head and leaned his forehead against his knees. "I'm not depraved," he mumbled, and--compelled by a force that seemed to come from outside himself--he looked up at his mother and met her eyes. "I'm in love."

"What did you say, Robin?" Perhaps Liza wasn't able to comprehend the words he'd just spoken. Perhaps she'd never experienced love. Perhaps she wasn't capable of love. In her world, love was control. She had controlled her husband--until his heart broke from her suffocating hold--and she had controlled her son from his first breath. But she wouldn't control his last.

"I'm in love, mom," he said, louder and prouder, and uncurled his legs to let his feet fall to the floor. His heart didn't need to be shielded from her, because she had no power in such matters. "I have a boyfriend." Just like Ty had introduced his boyfriend to his family before, Robin wanted to do the same. Even if he knew it wouldn't elicit the same accepting and tolerant reaction. "And I'm so very happy. I want you to know that, mom. I'm gay and I'm happy."

He braced himself for the onslaught he knew was coming. But he knew his love-fortified heart was strong enough to hold her at bay.

The offensive from his combatant didn't wait long. "He's twisted your head," she threw at him. "Whoever this jokester is. I knew I shouldn't have let you go off to school. All these kids with their ideas. They're not like you. They're bad influences. They don't know who you are. I do. And this is not you, Robin."

She turned off the screen on her phone, as if to erase the pictures of her son that didn't fit with her image of him, and looked at him like she didn't recognize him. And, of course, she didn't. Because Robin had never actually been the boy his mother had envisioned. A fantasy image of a perfect son. A ball of clay to form as she wished. A tool to use to control the world around her.

But he wasn't that boy. He was a person with his own mind and wishes. He wasn't a boy at all anymore. He was a man. A man in love.

"It is me, mom," he said calmly. "It's who am I, even if it's not who you wish me to be."

Wet tears soiled his cheeks. Robin wiped the droplets away with his sleeve. He didn't have any other family left and no matter his mother's flaws, he still loved her. But she didn't seem to love him. She only loved the image of him that lived in her head.

With an annoyed sigh, Liza shook her head. "I won't stand for this nonsense, Robin," she said. "If this is how you chose to waste your life, I won't pay your tuition and board anymore. It's not worth it. I'll see if I can find another way for you to fulfill your father's will. Maybe in a few years--when these vile ideas are out of your head--I can move with you here to complete your schooling. Or you can get your degree online. But right now, I need to get you away from his godforsaken place. I've already packed all your things into my car."

She rose, signaling for Robin to follow her lead.

"I won't come with you," Robin countered, surprised by his courage."I'll never come home with you. You can't make me, mom."

"So what are you going to do?" she asked. "Without school, housing, money, clothes, food, anything? Do you think your precious boyfriend will save you?"

"I don't need to be saved," he muttered under his breath because he would certainly not put such a burden on Ty's already weighed-down shoulders. This was up to him to solve himself.

"This is nothing but a phase. If you just come home, Robin, I'm sure you'll remember who you really are."

"I'm gay," he repeated with emphasis. "It's who I am. You can't change that."

"You're not. You're precious, perfect, and smart. But you're impressionable. That's why I had to keep you from the world. So it wouldn't hurt you and change you."

Tyler thought he was all those things too. And he didn't want to change anything about Robin.

Twisting his hands in front of him, Robin peered up at his mom again. He wasn't scared of her anymore. Rather, he pitied her. "I didn't change. This is who I've always been."

"Such lies told to you. That's why you need to come with me home. You need to get away from this place now. Before it's too late."

"You can't make me come with you," he replied. "Even if you cancel my tuition and resident payments for the next semester, this semester is already paid for. I still have courses to attend and a roof over my head." The conviction in his voice surprised even himself. "You're the one who should leave, mom. This is my room. And I'm staying right here. I'm staying at uni. I'm staying with my boyfriend."

Even if he wouldn't put it past her to try to move him by force, he knew it wasn't possible. No matter how threatening and imposing she seemed, he was taller and stronger. Not weak and fragile like he once had been, on account of her bitter medicine.

"Very well then," she conceded, perhaps also realizing that she couldn't physically force her son to come with her. "You stay here then, Robin, and see how you'll do without me. No one will take care of you like me. So I know you'll come back to me eventually. When you have no other choice. When everyone else has left you and you're desperate, then you'll come home. I know you will, son."

With an annoyed sigh, she walked toward the door, leaving the small pile of Tyler's clothes behind. Apparently, she refused to let such vile items into her home.

"I'll see you soon, Robin," were his mother's final words before the door slammed behind her, leaving her son alone in the darkness.

Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: AzTruyen.Top