Every surface of his apartment sparkled. Robin hadn't been able to sleep, so he'd been up in the wee hours of the morning cleaning every inch of it in preparation for his date. Of course, Tyler had been in his apartment before, but this felt different. Very different.

Since he got home from school, he'd showered and brushed his teeth. Twice. Just to be sure. He'd also spent an unreasonable long time deciding which clothes to wear. Eventually, he'd settled for his Quiz Bowl t-shirt and his favorite pair of slacks. It was the clothes he felt most comfortable in. He'd even considered the colors and fit of his underwear. Although the possibility of Tyler seeing them almost made him have a panic attack.

Robin looked at his digital clock on the nightstand. 4.37 pm. More than two hours remained until Tyler, who had a physiotherapy appointment after school, would come by.

He needed to fill the remaining hours with something, or he would surely go mad from nervousness by the time Tyler arrived. While aimlessly looking around the room, trying to find something to distract himself with, his gaze fell upon the rainbow bag. He'd put it next to his nightstand, perhaps as a signal to Ty that he wasn't ashamed of their connection. And well... it did contain condoms. Robin wasn't sure if he was ready for activities where those items were needed, but he also wasn't sure how experienced Tyler was or what he would expect.

It would be a lie to say that he hadn't thought about such activities. A lot. Lewd thoughts that made his cheeks blossom and nether-regions tighten.

Coming out seemed like enough sexual progress for him to handle this week though.

Flustered by the oncoming barrage of emotions, Robin reached for the bag and pulled out a well-thumbed pamphlet. He remembered something the pink-haired girl had said as she handed it to him. Something that might help him feel a bit more at home in his newfound identity.

The information he looked for was printed on the back. "LGBTQ Community Support Meetings every Wednesday at 5 p.m. Open for everyone."

About twenty minutes later Robin walked up to a classroom door with a rainbow flag attached to it. He took a deep breath while preparing to open it.

"It will be fine, Robin," Des assured him, who he'd convinced to tag along since tackling this unknown social environment by himself seemed impossible. "I'm sure everyone will be nice to you. And if they're not..." She smiled mischievously. "Then I'll kick their asses!"

Robin nodded because he did have full faith that she would do just that--Des was certainly the person to have next to you in battle--and decisively put his hand on the handle.

The classroom was about half full with chattering and laughing young adults. Most people sat in the front two rows. They all seemed to know each other already. Robin pointed toward two empty spots toward the back, where it felt like he could safely hide. Des obliged his wish to blend into the woodwork while feeling out the crowd.

He pulled his hoodie over his head to protect himself, from what he didn't quite know. His fingers tapped nervously on the desk and his palms were sticky from sweat.

A calming hand was put on top of his own. "Relax," Des encouraged him. "There's nothing dangerous here."

Robin looked around. It didn't look that dangerous. The participants looked like... well regular students. Backpacks, sneakers, and messy hair. Robin wasn't sure why he'd expected anything else. He'd pictured the meeting as the congregation of a tribe in which he didn't belong, but he actually appeared to fit right in.

A few more people poured in. Most of them seemed to know each other already. No one paid much attention to him and Des.

Not until a cheery voice piped up behind them. "Mr. Erie!"

Robin turned around to see Tyler's counselor Miss Horn, or Tallulah as she'd told them to call her. She must be the supervisor for the group. Her hair was braided into a crown around her head, her lips were bright red, and her dress was scattered with printed daisies.

"This is your first time here, right?" she asked.

He nodded and tried to stop the blush on his cheeks.

A knowing look from Miss Horn made Robin wonder if Tyler had told his counselor about them. Whatever "them" meant. Maybe he'd cried to her after their botched kiss. Maybe she even knew about the upcoming date already.

"I'm here as support," Des explained to Miss Horn.

"That's fine." Miss Horn beamed at them. "Any reason you want to be here is reason enough. And no one has to explain those reasons unless they want to."

Robin nodded, feeling a little bit calmer.

"Just ask me if there's anything you wonder about," Miss Horn continued with a cheery smile. "Everyone will get an opportunity to ask questions or just tell us about themselves during the meeting."

Robin didn't know what to ask. He had many questions but not one of them surfaced at that moment. Most of them also seemed too embarrassing to ask with dozens of unknown people around anyway.

Miss Horn must have seen the nervous twitches of his hands because her demeanor suddenly became much softer. "You know you don't have to do anything here today, Robin," she assured him. "No one will ask you to talk, unless you want to, of course. You can just sit here with your friend and listen."

Robin took a deep breath, looked over at the exuberant counselor, and nodded slowly. What she described didn't sound super scary and embarrassing.

"But if there's anything you want to talk about, I'm here," she added. "We don't have to talk in front of everyone. Just come to my office whenever and I'll make sure to make time for you."

Her gaze still met his, and suddenly he wanted to spill everything. He wanted to tell someone about all the emotions and questions that threatened to break his fragile mind. He wanted to tell her about what his mother had put him through and the power she still wielded over him. Miss Horn seemed like she would understand.

"I might," he whispered, as his voice would barely carry, and pulled his hands through his hair.

Tallulah flashed a kind smile. "You're welcome any time." She turned to grab a basket from a table behind her. "Oh, and take a cupcake." She offered Robin a sweet delight with sprinkles in all colors of the rainbow.

"Thank you," Robin mumbled and looked at the fancy and intricate pastry.

He took a bite. The sweetness soothed his mind. It made him think of Tyler and his endless appetite for sugary treats. He would have cheered enthusiastically at the sight of a rainbow-sprinkled cupcake and swallowed it in one bite.

In front of Robin, two guys locked hands under the table. The gesture made his mind wander away to silly dreams of bringing Ty with him to a rainbow-sprinkled meeting one day. Perhaps not as a friend.

As the minutes passed by, Robin's cheeks stopped blushing and his heart rate slowed down. He listened to the students talking and related to their experiences. He eventually let go of Des' hand. He even pulled the hoodie off his head to hear better.

Robin started to feel like part of something. He started to feel like someone else. He started to feel like himself.

For once in his life, Robin felt like he belonged. To socialize with the gathered members didn't feel scary. Instead, it felt safe. Here, he could be himself. And he knew who that was now.

So when Miss Horn at the end of the session asked if there was anyone else who wanted to say something, Robin reached his hand in the air.

"Yes, Mr. Erie." Miss Horn nodded at him with an encouraging smile.

Everyone's eyes turned toward Robin. For a moment, he was frozen. But a helpful pat on the hand from Des loosened his tongue. "I just wanted to... introduce myself," he started. "I'm Robin... Robby. Call me Robby."

The name just flowed off his tongue. It felt like him. It wasn't the name his mother had given him but it was the name he had given himself. It was the name Ty called him. He liked that name.

"Robin" was scared, uncertain, and trapped. But "Robby" was brave, assured, and free. Robby had a date with a cute blonde boy.

He looked around the room and met smiling and encouraging faces.

"Hi, Robin... Robby, I mean," Miss Horn said and smiled warmly at him. "I'm glad you've chosen to introduce yourself. You can share anything with us. Or nothing, if that's what you want."

Robin nodded and took a bite out of the colorful cupcake in his hand. A final boost of energy before it was time to tell the world, or at least the gathered students and Miss Horn, who he was.

"I have... something I want to say," he mumbled while fiddling with his sleeves. "I'm..." his gaze turned upward and around the room before he soared into the unknown. He'd said the words to Des already but this felt more official. There was no turning back. But he didn't want to go back to where he came from anyway, because there was nothing but fear and shame in his past. In front of him laid the unknown, with promises of love, happiness, and freedom.

He cleared his throat before he spoke the words, loud and clear.

"I'm gay."

The word was out there now. Floating free in the universe. Alive and vibrant. Never to be recalled. Always a part of him.

"I know it's not like a big deal," Robin mumbled, feeling a bit self-conscious around these people who had already taken the step he was currently in mid-air of. "But I didn't know what to do with all these feelings before. I guess I kind of knew or at least suspected. But I couldn't admit it. Not until I met someone." A warm and fuzzy feeling embraced Robin as he thought of Tyler. His bright smile. His caring nature underneath the nonchalant surface. His unrelenting appetite for snacks. "Someone sweet and wonderful who I think I'm in love with."

Another word he'd never really said before. Love. In love. But it seemed so obvious now. Of course, that's what the sugar-coated and bubbling emotions were.

More smiles lit the room around him. Robin smiled back. For once being a part of something instead of looking in from the outside.

The discussion moved on and Robin exhaled. Des patted him on the back as if to tell him he'd done well. A sense of peace instilled itself inside of him. He wasn't sure what would happen now, but at least he knew who he was. He knew his wings were strong enough to carry him toward freedom. And hopefully, a certain blonde boy would follow him on that path.

His heartbeat slowed down slightly for a moment, before being jolted back to sprint by a buzz from his phone. He pulled it up to find a text from Ty. Just seeing the name on the screen made his heart flutter.

The text simply read: "Are you hungry? I am. Should I bring pizza?"

The question was innocent yet seemed to convey so much more than the mere words. It cemented that it was real. Tyler was coming over for a date. Which was so much different than their previous study sessions.

"Pizza sounds good," Robin typed, not wanting to sound too eager but also not not eager. If that even made sense. Which it didn't, because nothing made sense anymore.

Everything was nonsensical, illogical, and off-kilter. But yet it all felt so right. It was revelatory, exciting, and breathtaking. Like jumping off a cliff.

A reply came back quickly. "Which toppings do you like? I'm getting pepperoni and mushrooms."

There was an anxiousness behind the simple words. It seemed Tyler was eager to make sure Robin liked the pizza he got. But he also didn't want to sound not eager.

"I'll have the same," Robin wrote, a goofy smile on his lips.

Around him, the students listened attentively to a girl who was talking about her girlfriend. But Robin couldn't focus. His thoughts were far gone into fantasies of what would happen after the meeting was over. When Tyler came over. With pizza.

Another reply. "See you soon," it read.

Behind the words was a red heart emoji. A heart that made Robin's own heart jump around in his chest in a way that didn't seem entirely healthy.