This is self-explanatory no need for a backstory all that much, just know that these three girls were my friends two would always get mad and blame me for things and I sat there and took it all no matter what. And somethings they kept secret from me if it hurt them. They made me seem like the victim and made me believe I was a bad person but not this time. If I could go back in time I wish I would've

1- never trusted or believed anything you said I should've kept my walls built high
2- let you in and get attached
3- never took any blame for anything
4- wish I would've never trusted you with my deepest pain, cause that's what I did for you.
5- should've been left you the third time.

Hello, this is Shawn, Since you can come back into peoples lives and just interrogate them so can I.

So you said I supposedly hurt (name) and (name) correct? Why can't they speak for themselves hm? So you believed them when they're not even telling the full truth? Did they ever tell you that I asked them if I'm treating them poorly? Hm, I guess you didn't know that huh?

sidenote sweetheart: your own best friend felt the same way about you at one point but who I am to judge right?

And their answers were "no" "why would think that" "you don't do anything too me"

Both of them answered that but you ain't never come asked me did I know that I hurt them? Or them directly tell me "hey Shawn you hurt me or what you do hurts me"

And second off Y'all holding onto old shit and trying to use it against me as too me "making faces" first things first you could've asked me why I make faces but sweetie, I'll explain why I make faces sometimes and it's not for any reason you may think but you're hardheaded like an ox

Reason one:
I am thinking about death out of nowhere.
Reason two:
I have something in my teeth.
Reason three:
I just am chilling
Reason four:
I am thinking about a song in my head or a funny vine.

Did you know that? Hm, probably not Y'all never asked me why I made those faces Y'all just got mad and petty and started treating me poorly.

And you said I would get mad when you would go to your (person) house. LOL. Tell me when that EVER came directly out of my mouth. Let me know I'll wait.............IT NEVER HAPPENED. I wanted you to get to know your (person) I wanted you to create a bond I wanted you to have a better bond because your other (person)destroyed that. Are you holding what I would say in our fantasy world against me? That's dumb and petty. Anyways you didn't have to take that seriously because I didn't want you to NOTHING. I said while in that "fantasy" world I didn't mean any of it.

if you took it serious sweetie that's a personal problem ya can't blame me sorry

Oh and if it bothered you so much why couldn't you tell me? Hm? You opened your mouth for everything else in this world but not too tell me when I'm fucking up? That's cute lol god bless your soul babygirl💙💙, anyways now onto the last thing I remember what you said.

You said that I brought your (personal word) down okay I believe that part, but-but-but when you would come to me with your darkest deepest feelings did I shoo you away? no baby girl I did not.

Like how your(person) said some stuff to you ( I will not put her business out there) Like when you told me you were scared of (personal problem) Or how you were deeply hurt about how he was treating you the harsh words he was saying to you? Did you? If so good, but who was still there too take all your baggage?

I was. always was

Who was there to help you through it cause you needed me?

I was. always was

I've never told you "why are you telling me this tell your (person)" because I would never and it never bothered me either because helping your sister/best friend with their problems is what should be done. If my baggage bothered you so much why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you tell me the next day? Why you had to make a whole big scene? You didn't even see what I was going to do the next day you just quit on me. That day I saw how bothered you were by my problems so I ended telling someone. Did you know that?

Of course not.

To say I have hatred in my heart is a fucking lie. I will not let you drag my name in the dirt.

Because I've sat there for 3 whole fucking years trying to make y'all laugh trying to be there for Y'all trying to make y'all happy. Because for once in my life I had friends that accepted me for who I am with my baggage and all they didn't care how I looked how I acted the way I dressed. They just cared about what's on the inside! So to say I didn't care about them that's a lie because I did I may not have text them as much(which texting someone shouldn't justify if you care about someone anyway) but that didn't mean I didn't care. Cause when I would text them we would talk for an hour or two and I would be left hanging, I would check in every once in a while so don't put that bs on me saying I didn't care you can't tell me what my heart feels.

My heart was broken when you guys left I was sucked so deeply into depression than I was before I tried to forget Y'all but I couldn't because you guys meant that much too me. I was just checking my messages waiting for you guys to pop back up and I was going to apologize for everything I was going to change my ways and become a better person I was going to ask you guys what bothered you most about me what did you guys want me to stop? Communication. That's what we lacked communication we never did that. That's what I was going to do talk it out with Y'all.

you let a 3-year friendship end all because no one dared to communicate with me nor did you. the person who was with me 24/7 day and night, you couldn't open your mouth, honey?

And you damn well won't lie on me either. What happened to you saying "I won't give up on anyone because I feel like they need me" are you sure about that? It seems like that's the opposite when it came too me. Someone even used you and yet you still kept them in your life. But you're own best friend who was there for you through thick and thin the way best friends are supposed too. But I get the boot I get hurt I get blamed for everything when all I was doing was trying to help! If it all bothered you so much why couldn't you just open your mouth huh? Do you not know the term of communication? Or did you not wanna be my friend at all anymore so this was your last result?.

and I felt like this is what yall wanted all along and that's okay just wish you could've been more adult about it.

You said I hurt you when I said that. Well sorry not sorry spoke the truth and nothing but it, the only thing I'm sorry about is how tainted your soul is I wish one day it is free honestly I want you to be happy my honey I will pray for you

expressing my feelings to you after YOU kept asking and begging I'm not sorry. That's not my fault. I'm not taking the blame for anything anymore because that's all I did was take the blame because I'd rather take the blame for anything that you guys were mad at me about because it's better than arguing and losing you guys. Because I wanted to work things out not leave cause I'm not that type of person.

But it seems like you are, so god bless you god bless (name) god bless (name). Your mother everyone near you so you continue to be happy because like many people said to me about you "your heart is filled with so much unhappiness that you lash out at others". I hope you find peace and middle ground with yourself so you can be free of this pain.💙 I still love y'all and always will.

Ps: remember who never gave up on you and helped throughout the ever little fight with your mom, every heartache you've had, who was there when you needed to cry on the phone. Who was there to take care of your heart and your physical health? Remember all the good things I've done. Now, do you really think I would have the time and patience to hate you? Or anyone? remember me telling you things my grandma told me? my guardian angel cause she helped me so I wanted to help you.

just remember honey, I hope you're happy with yourself with your new skin. smile more honey you look pretty when you do.

A little quote toward you for the road:

We were in a weird place
Crazy how a person you love could just change
Now I am learning to realize we needed our space
I could never hurt you, we use to be great
And you use to say, what goes around comes around so fast🌺💙

Have fun and smile BAE💙😇 I hope you clean the toxins out your blood.

I'm finally free as a bird I am now moving on. thank you for the memories. you are now a closed book series.

soleil et bonheur 💛🌻🍯🎀🐞 (sunshine&happiness)