Chapter Fifteen (Daimonas)

"Where is he?"

Adam had asked this question for the hundredth time. He wasn't asking me in particular, no, he was just asking. Julian had gone in half an hour ago, into the big building they called an apartment building where the bad guy's girlfriend, Olivia, would be waiting for us to kidnap her and take her to the abandoned park down the path.

No, not path. Street. That's what they were called. Streets, I had to remember that. Actually, I had to remember a lot of things and it was starting to make my head hurt. Maybe my brain capacity couldn't collect as much as I had hoped, but either way, it wasn't currently my brain that was bothering me.

It was my chest.

Something weird was in my chest.

It felt like something was wiggling around and making it tight. It made my chest ache. It just gave me a bad feeling and I did not like it. I felt like someone was watching us too, but whenever I looked around out the window of Adam's truck, I couldn't see anyone who was paying attention to us. Just humans walking along things called sidewalks, talking on little boxes called cell phones. I turned back in my seat and glanced at Adam out the corner of my eye to see him chewing on the end of his thumb, staring up at the apartment building. He was fidgety. He kept shifting and trying to find something to distract himself with, but it was like he could feel it too.

Something was wrong.

That was the only way I could describe the discomfort. Something was wrong, not right, bad.

"Why doesssn't Julian have a boxxx phone?" I asked Adam as he messed with the dials on what he called a radio. He turned the music off and glanced at me with a frown.

"Can't afford it, Dai. And they're called cell phones." He corrected. I made a mental note of that. Cell phones, not box phones. Cell phones. I didn't understand the name, but that's what they were called and I had to get used to it. And I also felt a moment of elation when he called me Dai. It was a shortened version of my name, a nickname. I had a nickname, and for some reason, that made me feel... happy? Was that what this was?

It was hard to describe happy. Maybe a tingling feeling in my stomach and the urge to want to smile.

A lot of things made me happy, I had learned. The magic heating blanket I conjured because of a short show that Julian called a commercial. The food called burgers from a place called McDonalds. Nicknames. Watching the TV box. Falling asleep on Julian's shoulder. These things made me happy.

But the happiness was gone the longer Adam and I sat there.

"We need to find a payphone." Adam said at last, starting the truck. I frowned. How many types of phones did these humans have? Didn't you only need one?

"What about Julian?" I asked, glancing back at the apartment as Adam pulled toward the end of the parking lot. Adam's eyes were moving quickly, searching the streets before he pulled out onto the road. I didn't like riding in the truck without Julian. It bothered me. I wasn't sure why either.

Julian used to annoy me. He was such a child. He cared far too much for people and it always came back to bite him in the butt. Even though he and his brother argued, I knew they still loved each other and that was another thing that bothered me. Maybe it was confusion. I didn't understand the affection. I was just starting to learn what happiness felt like, though, so baby steps, I told myself. Baby steps.

But now, I felt uncomfortable without Julian here.

Adam didn't answer my question, which he did a lot and it annoyed me. That was another reason I liked Julian better. Julian answered my questions. Although, when he didn't, Adam did, so it was like they took turns or something. It was odd, yet... nice?

Were emotions supposed to feel like this? Could I even have emotions without a soul?

I kept asking myself questions as Adam pulled up to a curb where a black phone sat inside a box. Adam got out and I followed him, but he made me stand outside the box because it was too small for both of us to fit. So I leaned on the box and conjured a burger, peeling the wrapper off and taking a bit of it. The flavors assaulted my mouth wonderfully and I almost moaned at the taste.

I loved burgers.

I wonder if all human food tasted this good. I saw a commercial for something called a Taco Bell last night and I wanted to try that too. A Taco Bell looked yummy.

"Hunter," Adam said into the phone, making me frown and glance at him as he spoke, "Julian didn't come out of Olivia's apartment. Something's wrong. I can feel it in my gut. We need to cancel whatever we're doing... Are you fucking kidding me? I really don't give a shit about the damned demons. Something's wrong. Julian-- ... Yes, I know that... YES, I said I fucking know that, but... Hunter, Julian..." Adam cursed a few more times. I didn't understand. Was something wrong with Julian? Why did we need to cancel what was going on?

"Adam, what'sss going on?" I asked, but he ignored me and went on yelling at Hunter. I frowned and looked away, eyes lowering to my burger. I suddenly wasn't hungry anymore, I realized in surprise. For once, the emptiness in my gut was filled with something else and it made my stomach hurt. I dropped the burger to the sidewalk and peeked into the phone box, watching Adam bark at Hunter over the phone. A few humans that passed by gave us dirty looks and I just glared at them, so they hurried away.

Even though I looked sort of human, it was like they knew I wasn't one of them. I remember Julian saying something about my appearance. I looked down at my black skin. I had seen humans with different colored skin everywhere.

White, yellowish, pink, tan, brown, dark brown, black, but not my kind of black. Was that why they looked at me weird? Or was it my teeth? My tongues? My hair? Was it because my hair was white? I hadn't seen any humans with white hair like mine. I'd seen grey and maybe streaks of white, but not pure white like mine.

Or was it my eyes? Did my eyes make people uncomfortable?

Why did I even care? Humans were beneath me. Hell, half the creatures on this planet were beneath me. I was stronger than they were, so much stronger. I could destroy the whole planet if I wanted to.

And now I was thinking of Voltaire. A shiver raced up my spine as I remembered feeling the blast of his power hit me in the face. I don't think I'd ever felt something so spinechilling in my life. It was like just being around his power was enough to push me into submission, and I hated it. I also hated Vladimir. I couldn't imagine why he would want to house something like Voltaire, and Voltaire was strong enough to be on his own. He'd probably developed powers, a soul, and a solid form. He could walk around and kill whoever he wanted, do whatever he wanted.

But instead, he chose to live inside Vladimir, but why?

Why did Vladimir love Voltaire that much?

Why didn't Julian want me to live inside him?

Because that would be stupid, I reminded myself bitterly. Julian was scared of me. He was too young, and even though his power shot me up several levels, he didn't understand what was happening and that group of vampires that called themselves Zephyra just made it worse by trying to capture me.

My stomach churned as I remembered the incubator they kept me locked inside for that whole year. My skin crawled in remembrance and I could still hear the beeping of machines around me, feeling the needles poking into my skin, the mask on my face that allowed me to breath the clean oxygen that was far cleaner than the oxygen in this city. The hands that grabbed and touched me everywhere to make sure I was healthy.

I didn't want to go back there.

Voltaire made me feel powerless, and so did being in that incubator. I hated feeling powerless. I could do so much, as much as Voltaire, but I didn't know how and that only frustrated me further.

I wasn't the only one frustrated either because Adam slammed the phone against the box it hung on, making me jump and step out of his way as he came out of the phone box, heading for his truck. I followed close behind him.

"What'sss happening? Why are you canccceling the job?" I asked as we climbed back into the truck. Adam started the engine, grinding his teeth together.

"Julian's gone, Daimonas. He's not in the apartment. He's not in the parking lot. Something's wrong." He stated and pulled back out onto the street, making me blink owlishly before looking at him, confused.

"Then where did he go?" I asked.

"I don't know. If I knew that, I wouldn't be complying with Hunter."

"What'sss that mean?"

"It means we need to the finish the job. If anything, Orion probably knew we were going to use Olivia and so he nabbed Julian so we could do a trade. Which means your siblings are still in Orion's closet."

"I don't ssssee why we need them." I muttered under my breath. Zephyra wouldn't have much luck trying to experiment with them. They'd only get the same information out of them as they got out of me, and that was very little because I refused to speak to them. The younger ones were no matter from the way they had spoken. They were cocky and dangerous. They wanted Adam and Julian, who had both ignored my warning. They thought they could just get away?

If they opened those jars, all four of them would come piling out and plunge themselves into Julian and Adam's body. The other two would probably die off before they could find a host. It still amazed me how the vampires had actually managed to make it so we could survive without hosts. If that were the case, they may actually have found a way for my species to survive and become less endangered, or maybe not... Zephyra was hunting my kind down to do these experiments and they didn't care that we protested them.

We were just animals to be experimented on and that only boiled my blood further.

And so did the fact that Hunter didn't even want to go after Julian. How could he leave him behind like that? Julian was part of their team. Julian was special. It made me angry that he could leave him behind, and that anger confused me. Why was I so angry that we were leaving Julian behind? Our mission was to grab my siblings and get out as soon as possible. They were dangerous in the hands of Zephyra far more than they were in the hands of a bunch of worthless humans and a halfbreed.

It was only logical, and yet, my blood still boiled at the thought of not thinking of Julian first and foremost.

I frowned, glancing at Adam out the corner of my eye to see him clenching the wheel tightly in his fists so hard that his knuckles blanched. His teeth were ground together so tight that I'm shocked his fangs didn't snap right off. He was determined to hurry up and get this over with so we could get to Julian.

But why?

"Why do you want Julian back ssso badly?" I asked curiously. Adam shot me a quick look, then trained them on the street ahead.

"You're kidding me, right?" He asked flatly. I frowned.

"No." I replied, then waited. Adam didn't answer for a while, but his expression visibly softened as the mere thought of Julian seemed to calm him. He sighed, frustrated, though.

"Look, Daimonas. I dunno if you can feel this way considering you don't have a soul, but maybe... I mean, if someone like Orion can find someone, maybe you can too. The feeling of having someone you love taken away from you is probably the worst feeling in the world."

"Worsse than heartburn?"

"Far worse than heartburn. It's more like... Heartache."

"Heartache?"

"Yes," Adam explained, turning onto another street and still looked antsy about leaving Olivia's apartment, "Heartache. It's the feeling you get when you're not with the person you love."

"And you feel that way right now."

"Yes. Because Julian's not here."

"And you love Julian."

"More than anything."

"More than ssssitcomss?"

"More than sitcoms."

"But if love isss making you feel ssso rotten, why do you feel it?" I asked, confused. It didn't make any sense to me. It sounded like love was a dangerous thing to play with. If it could hurt worse than heartburn and make you forget about sitcoms, what was so good about it? I was chalking up love to be one of the things to avoid in this world. Just saying the word in my head made me uncomfortable, made me sick.

"Because love isn't always rotten, Daimonas," Adam explained, making me frown and look at him, puzzled, "When you're with the person you love, it feels fantastic. It feels better than anything else in the world. It makes you feel safe and powerful."

"Sssso," I said slowly, trying to piece together this mysterious love thing, "Love isss like a burger."

"Uhm..."

"You sssaid burgersss causse heartburn, but they alsssso tassste really good." I pointed out. Adam paused at that, then surprised me by laughing.

"Yeah. I guess love is kinda like a burger." He answered, then lapsed into silence. He got that look on his face like he was thinking about something really important and considering Julian was probably in danger, I let him think, hoping it would lead to a way to get Julian back.

I felt like I needed him to be here. It was uncomfortable. And the entire year I was away from him and at Zephyra, I was in a panic. I remembered the bright flash as I managed to teleport from Julian's mind to the physical world, but as soon as I popped in, I remembered landing in Orion's arms, seeing the satisfied look on his face when he caught me and the horror only lasted a moment before I slipped into unconsciousness. I couldn't remember any of the dreams I had during my coma.

But I remembered waking up from it.

I remembered expecting to see Julian there, to see him chiding me or making fun of me, but instead, I opened my eyes to see that I was inside the incubator. A large metal box filled with some kind of liquid. Cords floated through the liquid and connected to the crooks of my elbows, to my chest, to my throat. I remembered trying to move, but my whole body felt heavy and whatever the liquid was, it was thick and sappy and nearly impossible to move in.

The top of the box had been made of glass, so I could look up and see several vampires in white lab coats, rushing around, taking notes, taking samples. I hated the way they looked at me, the way they would crack open the top and stick me with needles. The needles pinched and left burning sensations. They were rough whenever they grabbed my arms out of the goo and tried to get me to move them, but I couldn't. I was still sapped of my energy and I still had no idea how to use it.

I wasn't sure how to make them go away, how to get them off me, how to even form a ball of energy, the most basic of things. I had tried a dozen times to try and get out of the incubator, but they never let me, so I gave up after a few months until I overheard them talking on the intercom that was near my ear. They said they were going to take me out.

I was going to be let out so they could test my physical abilities. And that was my chance.

I had begun to practice as hard as I could. I couldn't exercise in the incubator, but I could tense my muscles and loosen them to prepare myself for what was outside this box.

And the moment that cracked open that box and washed out all the goo with fresh water, I took my chance. I sat upright and ripped the cords off, hissing at the pain. The vampires came at me with needles and other strange objects I didn't know. I don't know how I managed to get out. One of the doctors had stuck me with a needle on my way out and everything had gotten fuzzy.

I remembered seeing Hunter sitting on the hood of his car with a cigarette. The look of shock on his face, the pain as I did the only thing I could and jumped into his mind. I remembered the pain, feeling like I was on fire as I tried to settle inside him. He kept trying to push me out. He kept beating at me and ripping me apart.

I tried to explain things to him, but the drug had begun to work its magic and I ended up passing out in the back of Hunter's car for about a day before I got up. I tried to use his car, but I didn't know how to turn it on.

And I could only remember things from Julian's mind.

He lived in a place called Michigan. Silverstone, but when I got there, he wasn't there. His father had told me he lived in a different city called Grenston, so I had to walk all the way there and I could feel Hunter's body struggling. Even his soul had lapsed into a coma and gone silent, curled up in a ball at his core.

I didn't like the world on my way from the place called California to Michigan. It was terrifying. I had no idea what the boxes with wheels were called. I didn't know what the tall things around me were. I didn't know why there were so many people. I didn't know what the huge box that rode on metal tracks were or that it could hurt me. None of it made sense to me.

And even now, I still found myself struggling to take in everything around me.

"All right," Adam ordered, making me frown and snap out of my memories to look around and see that we were parked on the edge of a very poor looking park with little trees and benching and busted statues, "I'm going to go meet Hunter. He should've taken care of Olivia and should be waiting for me. You have to stay here, do you understand me?"

"I'm not ssstupid," I muttered to him, "I can sssit ssstill." Or at least, I hoped so. I didn't like sitting still. I had been locked in a box for a year unable to move. I couldn't handle it much longer. Adam studied my face, then nodded and surprised me when he ruffled my hair before he climbed out of the truck and shut the doors, making sure they were locked before he shoved his hands into his pockets and made his way into the park. I stared after him, then touched my head, running my fingers through my hair so I could look down at it as it curled around my fingers.

That felt oddly endearing. But Adam loved Julian. Julian loved Adam.

And Hunter loved Peter. Peter loved Hunter.

Walter seemed to like Peter too. Kipp liked Seth and Seth pretended he didn't like anyone, but I think he liked all of them.

But there were different types of love, I reminded myself. Hunter and Peter's love was different from Julian and Adam's. They were blood. That's why they loved each other. They were siblings.

But I didn't love my siblings. They didn't love me. Voltaire would kill me if he had the chance. And the ones in the jars back at Orion's closet, they may be younger, but they too would also attempt to kill me if I didn't kill them first and right now, I wasn't in the position to do any fighting.

And that angered me.

I could conjure and change my form, to an extent anyway, but I could do nothing more. I couldn't do energy blasts and telekinetics like Voltaire could. I was of no use right now. Which begged the question of why Zephyra wanted me so badly.

I sighed, slumping down in my seat and peering out the window to try and see the exchange, but there were too many trees in the way. I frowned, tilting my head back against the seat and closing my eyes tightly.

Adam seemed confident that things were going to turn out right.

So why did I feel like this?

I felt sick, my chest was tight, and my hands were shaking. I couldn't describe the feeling. It was another emotion that I didn't understand. And that worried me. Emotions usually came with souls, but I didn't feel my soul. At least, not what I expected it to be. I expected there to be warmth, indescribable beauty.

But instead, I felt sick and I wanted to curl up into a ball and go to sleep, but I couldn't sleep. Not until I knew if Julian was okay...