At some point in our lives, we start to wonder what the next step is. Where do I go from here?

Bata palang ako at ng mga kapatid ko, paulit-ulit nang sinasabi ni mama na gawin muna namin ang mga dapat naming gawin para magawa namin 'yung mga bagay na gusto naming gawin. We grew up with that mindset and with competitive attitudes. Tatlo kaming magkakapatid at ako ang bunso. My kuya and ate were twins , both three years older than I am. Malapit kaming lahat sa isa't-isa kaya hindi rin nakakapagtaka na tularan ko sila pagdating sa buhay.

My kuya and ate both graduated early, pre-k12. Pareho silang nag-graduate ng high school noong 14 years old sila and within ten years, at 24, both of them have started in their respective careers. Si kuya, isa na ngayon sa pinaka-kilalang neurosurgeons sa bansa habang si ate naman ay tatlong taon nang dino-dominate ang hospitality industry. They were both my inspirations kaya hindi na rin nakakagulat na gumaya nga ako sakanila.

I graduated at 14, as well. Like my siblings, I graduate years before k12 was implemented. I finished my bachelor's degree at UP Diliman and exceeded my own expectations when I got accepted into Harvard on a full ride scholarship. Si kuya graduate ng Harvard Medical, si ate naman ay sa Harvard Business School, at ako ay sa Harvard Law. I can't even begin to describe how happy mama was. Na kahit mag-isa niya kaming pinalaki, naitaguyod niya kaming lahat na magkakapatid.

But now I'm back in the Philippines, just after passing my bar exams. Unfortunately, hindi ako nag-top. Pero okay na rin basta nakuha ko na ang license ko. I have a year to finish my reciprocity here in the Philippines bago ako p'wedeng mag-practice and I am at that point in my life now.

Nagawa ko na ang mga dapat kong gawin. I've finished my studies and made my mama proud. Now I was lost. Dahil hindi ko na alam ang susunod kong gagawin.

"I think volunteer work is good for now, Luna. Besides, tinatapos mo rin ang reciprocity mo kaya ayos lang 'yan," sabi ni ate nang tanungin ko 'yon. We were having breakfast three days after I arrived. "And you shouldn't rush. Kararating mo lang. Why don't you relax a bit?"

"Estrella's right," singit naman ni kuya. "Tutal puro pag-aaral ang inatupag mo nitong mga taon. A vacation will do you well."

Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay. "You didn't take a vacation when you came back, kuya. Hindi ba't nagtrabaho ka rin kaagad?"

Kuya grinned. "Oh?"

Ate rolled her eyes. "She's right, Sol. You got a job before you even landed."

Nagkibit-balikat si kuya. "I only arrived last year. Ikaw nga, tatlong taon nang nagt-trabaho."

"Duh. I chose a career that only required a Bachelor's. Yours required additional years in Med School!"

"Worth it," ngumisi si kuya.

"Anyway," bumaling na ulit si ate sa'kin, now more serious. "Kung gusto mo talaga na may gawin, the company I work for is doing something for a community somewhere inn Visayas, around Cebu. P'wede kang tumulong doon at magbakasyon na rin dahil malapit lang ang mga resorts."

That got me interested. "Ano'ng gagawin, ate?"

"Well, we're sponsoring a building for an orphanage. Masyado na kasing over-crowded ang isang orphanage doon and one of the volunteers sent us a letter about it. Their needs met with the requirements of our foundation kaya sila ng pinili namin. For now, I think they just want people to help take care of the kids."'

"Kids?" I hesitantly asked.

Hindi naman sa ayaw ko sa mga bata, pero pakiramdam ko ay hindi lang ako marunong mag-alaga ng bata. Mama is an only child kaya wala kaming pinsan sakanya. At simula nang iwan kami ni papa ay napalayo na rin ang loob namin sa pamilya niya kaya wala rin. I was never around kids while growing up dahil masyado akong abala sa pag-aaral. Even while studying, I was always the youngest. In college, I was a year younger than everyone. Tapos noong nag-law school naman na ako, because I didn't do k12–which was required in the U.S.—I was about three years younger than everyone. Ni hindi nga ako p'wedeng uminom doon hanggang sa maka-graduate ako, since I just recently turned 21.

So... volunteering to take care of kids... Well, is there a book for that?

Tumawa si kuya, mukhang alam agad kung bakit ako nagdadalawang-isip. "You'll be fine, Luna. Kids aren't that intimidating."

"Paano mo alam? Nag-alaga ka na ba?" agad na tanong ni ate sakanya. Kuya shook his head. "Well, you should. They're really challenging, Sol. Siguradong pati ikaw ay mahihirapan."

Sumimangot si kuya at inirapan si ate. "Maybe that's why I became a neurosurgeon, Estrella. Kung mahilig ako sa bata, dapat nag-pedia ako."

"You should join Luna in volunteering then," sabi ni ate.

Ngumiwi si kuya, looking really disgusted kaya natawa ako. "No, thank you. I have surgeries scheduled for the next few months. Pwera nalang kung mas mataas ang ibibigay mong sweldo sa'kin..."

Umirap si ate. "It's called volunteer work for a reason, Sol."

Kibit-balikat lang ang sagot ni kuya. Sakto rin na nilapag ni mama ang niluluto niyang breakfast namin. Despite being professionals and earning their own money, hindi pa tuluyang bumumbukod ang mga kapatid ko. They have condominiums near where they work, but they still  come home whenever they can. Which is honestly every day. Tsaka lang hindi umuuwi si kuya kapag may maaga siyang surgery kinabukasan at late natatapos 'yung isa. While ate stays in her condominium tuwing abala siya sa isang project at puro overtime. So, really, their condominiums are rarely used.

"Kaya si Sol ang pinakamayaman, e," pagbibiro ni mama at umupo na sa kabisera. She had a soft smile on her face as she watched us fight over the sinangag rice.

"Ma, we all know ako ang pinakamayaman," pagyayabang naman ni ate at halos kinalahati ang kanin.

"Syempre. Tatlong taon ka nang nagt-trabaho," angal ni kuya at sumimangot nang makita kung gaano kaliit ang natirang kanin para sakanya. "Pero ikaw rin ang pinaka-baboy, Estrella. Bigyan mo nga ako niyan!"

Nilayo ni ate ang plato niya. "Dami na niyan oh! Akala ko ba diet ka?"

"A healthy breakfast is part of my diet," argued kuya.

Hinayaan ko nalang silang magtalo at kumain nalang. Mama was simply listening to them, sanay na sanay na sa bangayan ng mga kambal niya.

Later on, nabalik rin ang usapan sa volunteer work na ino-offer ni ate. And while they were both busy bantering, nakapag-desisyon na ako.

"Are you sure? Yes na agad?" ate asked, a bit amazed.

Tumango ako. "Wala rin naman akong ibang ginagawa. And I feel like it's a good experience for me."

"Taking care of kids? You're a lawyer," kuya pointed out.

I shrugged. "I think it will be nice. Iba sa nakasanayan ko na masyadong seryosong buhay."

"That's true. Nakakagaan talaga ng loob ang mga bata," mama said with a smile. "Baka nga ma-enganyo kang mag-asawa na, Luna."

Ngumiwi ako doon, pati narin si kuya. "Uh, I think not, mama. Siguro mauuna muna si kuya kesa sa'kin."

Ate snickered. "Yeah, Sol, mag-asawa ka na kasi."

Umirap si kuya. "Magka-edad lang tayo. Mag-asawa ka na rin."

"You're five minutes older," sabi ni ate.

"You started your career three years earlier," balik ni kuya.

"Anyway," singit na mama para pigilan ang bangayan nila. She faced me. "You'll do it, Luna?"

Tumango ako. "Why not? At hindi pa ako nakakapunta sa Visayas and I've always been curious about Cebu. Gusto ko rin namang tignan 'yung mga sikat na beaches doon."

"Perfect!" Ate clapped enthusiastically. "Ako na ang bahala sa accommodations mo doon. May kakilala ako na pinapa-rentahan 'yung condo niya kaya p'wede ka doon."

"Thanks, ate," sabi ko at ngumiti.

"My friend can lend you his car, too," dagdag naman ni kuya. "Hiramin mo na. Mas panatag ako kung hindi ka magk-commute masyado doon. Hindi pa naman pamilyar sa'yo 'yung lugar."

I didn't argue. We spent that Sunday morning planning it. Na-plano na rin ni mama na bisitahin ako kada-buwan, dahil anim na buwan rin ako doon. I was really scared, pero hindi ko rin maipagkakaila na talagang excited ako. Ibang experience din 'yon.

The weeks went by quickly and soon I was a month into my volunteer work. Aamin ko na noong una ay kabado ako na tumulong sa pag-aalaga sa mga bata, pero napagtanto ko rin na natural pala 'yon. As long as you trust your instincts, taking care of kids come naturally.

Pagdating ko sa Angels Orphanage, napansin ko na medyo abala ang lahat. I really appreciate ate's company for choosing this orphanage dahil talagang overcrowded na sila. My heart breaks every time I come visit and every night I pray that hopeful parents come to adopt them. All these kids deserve families that will love and cherish them. Bata palang sila ay marami na silang pinagdaanan at karapat-dapat lang silang mahalin at maging parte ng isang pamilya.

Even when mama came to visit, gusto na niyang umampon ng isa. I think she's seriously considering it. Lalo na't may mga orphans na medyo matanda na kaya mahirap nang ma-adopt.

Jennie, one of the volunteers, greeted me as soon as I walked in.

"Luna! Buti at andito ka na," aniya at nilapitan ako. "Nag-raid ang mga pulis sa kabilang bayan at may mga bata silang nailigtas, kaya dito nila diniretso."

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. "Ilang bata?"

"Mga bente siguro, hindi ko pa alam," sagot niya habang umiikot ang mata sa paligid. She looked anxious. "Nasa art room 'yung mga bata. Papunta na rin 'yung mga taga-DSWD mamayang alas-dos."

Tumango ako at agad nagpaalam. Nagmamadali rin siyang umalis kaya dumiretso na ako sa art room. My heart immediately dropped when I heard the silent cries of the little kids. Marami ring volunteers ang nandoon, yakap-yakap ang ibang mga bata at malumanay silang kinakausap.

Everyone was busy. Even the nuns were anxiously moving around. Agad akong tumulong sa pag-alo sa mga bata. I tried my best not to be too emotional when talking with them. Sa simpleng iyak nila ay para akong nawawasak.

"Bakit ang dami nila?" tanong ko nang dumating ang mga taga-DSWD. There were about ten of them.

"Abducted kids ang ibang andito," sagot ni Elaine habang may kargang bata. "Ima-match nila para maibalik sa mga magulang nila. Pero, base sa sinabi ni Sister Karen kanina, karamihan rin sa mga bata dito ulila na. May dalawa pa ngang sanggol na nakita."

My eyes widened, angrier than ever. "Sanggol? Pati sanggol, damay dito?"

Elaine shrugged, looking so sad. "Sex trafficking 'yung raid. Sabi ng isang pulis kanina, wala na 'yung nanay nung mga sanggol. Died from childbirth."

Napamura ako at tumango lang si Elaine. Pareho kaming tahimik na nanood sa nangyayari. I had a kid still shaking beside me, pero medyo nakakatulog na rin kaya patuloy ko lang na hinahaplos ang buhok niya. She looked so fragile and young. Mas lalo pa akong nagalit nang malaman na 12 years old na siya, samantalang akala ko ay 7 palang siya dahil sa sobrang liit at payat niya.

Because of this, I was more sure of my profession. I silently swore to make sure that every person caught harming those weaker than them will end up behind bars. Ano pa ang silbi ng bigay ng Diyos na talino sa'kin kung hindi ko gagamitin para sa iba? He blessed my siblings and I with skills to help others. It is the path He paved for us. And the path we will follow.

"P'wede ba siyang kausapin?" a kind woman wearing a DSWD shirt approached us.

Tumango ako at iniwan na muna sakanya 'yung kasama kong bata nang mapanatag siyang mabait 'yung babae. Umalis rin ako doon para tumulong sa iba.

Already, families were arriving, trying to see if the kids were theirs. Gusto ko sanang tumulong pero nakarinig ako ng iyak. It led me to the mini chapel we had.

"Sister Lou?"

She

looked so stressed while carrying a baby. Siguro isa sa dalawang sanggol na nabanggit ni Elaine kanina.

"Luna, kumusta?"

"Okay naman po, sister. Kailangan niyo po ba ng tulong?"

Bumuntong-hininga siya. "Lahat siguro ay sinubukan nang patahanin itong bata, pero hindi umuubra. Kanina pa iyak ng iyak."

I tried to smile, kahit kanina ko pa gustong manuntok sa sobrang galit. How could anyone harm these innocent kids? The law might never punish them, but He sees what others don't.

"Can I, sister?"

Tumango siya at dahan-dahang inabot sa'kin ang sanggol. My ears were ringing from his cries and he was so red from it. He was a thin baby pero hindi mo 'yun aakalain sa lakas ng iyak niya. He sounded healthy and strong, but he looked so fragile and weak.

Sister Lou gave him to me slowly at pareho kaming gulat na hindi makapag-salita nang biglang tumigil sa pag-iyak ang bata. His loud cries became silent sobs and I became teary-eyed. He was hiccuping, but was more calm now.

"Que milagro! Tumahan siya..." Sister Lou looked at me. "Nagustuhan ka, Luna. Ikaw lang ang nakapagpatahan sakanya."

Patuloy siya sa pagsasalita at narinig ko rin na may iba pang dumating. They all sounded so relieved and amazed that the baby stopped crying. Marami ang nakiusisa at sumilip sa bata na hindi na nag-iingay.

But with the chaos, my eyes remained on the child. Hindi na siya umiiyak ngayon pero nakatitig na sa'kin. His eyes held so much trust.

I held my pointer finger in front of him at walang pagdadalawang-isip niya itong hinawakan. He hiccuped one more time before letting out a giggle. Parang agad napawi ang galit sa puso ko. Napangiti ako at mas lalo siyang napatitig sa'kin.

That was the day I realized He paved another path for me.