Whoop, part 4!
Sorry this took so long, but I'm finally off school for a week so I can write more without having to force myself to stay awake at night T_T
Just a note which I should've added on the last part. If you don't cut, that does not make you a coward, I'm just trying to create a kind of character that thinks that way. I don't understand everything about depression and I don't even claim to have it, but I'd like to write my own take since it's different for everyone.

So please, don't let anything I write affect you badly, I'd advise you not to read if it does. Thanks.
But this part is less depressing I think! So please enjoy and excuse any OOC-ness since Sweden is a hard character to nail!

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Everything in (F/N)'s body wanted to collapse and fall into a deep slumber, finally giving it the rest it deserves. No, it didn't deserve it; it was completely (F/N)'s fault this happened and she deserved every bit of this unbearable drowsiness. It was like her body was burning, her eyes were burning. They wanted to close so badly, but (F/N) forced the dead weights open to concentrate on her lessons.

The night before after she'd thrown herself into her pile of work and let it devour her mind, she unknowingly spent the whole night awake at her desk; she only realised when she'd began to almost drift off and her alarm had shocked her awake. She'd quickly took a freezing cold shower and an attempt to wake herself up but all it'd seem to have done was make her cold. She hadn't woken up at all and now as she sat in class with her eyes drooping proved that. Her face felt hot all over and it was harder to breathe than usual.

Her class felt like it went on for hours, but when the morning class finally finished, (F/N) was glad for a break of the teachers droning on and on about stupid algebra and trigonometry.

Most of the class had filed out the room as soon as the school bell had rung to grab a snack and to meet with friends; (F/N) could tell that Berwald and Tino had stayed behind too to talk with (F/N) again. They should be there any minute now.

"Hey (F/N)?" Tino said with a hint of concern in his voice. (F/N) looked up and the two of them were stood there with slight frowns that only worsened as they saw (F/N) look up. "Are you okay? You look really tired." (F/N) stood up and cleared her throat. It was itchy and scratchy and she was afraid if she didn't clear it then her voice would come out all raspy and then it'd be obvious she was clearly ill, as if the dark circles weren't enough.

"I'm fine." Her voice cracked and she mentally slapped herself. Now they'd be more concerned. Berwald put a hand to her head and frowned.

"You're really hot." He said bluntly. "You should go home." (F/N) grew flustered and quickly knocked his hand away knowing that if she grew any more heated he'd definitely force her to go home. Even if he didn't always portray it well, Berwald worried about others, just like right now.

"I-I'm fine, I'll just go get some water from the vending machine!" She stuttered, quickly reminding herself about the fact she hadn't eaten last night, drank last night or had anything for breakfast. Her throat was dry, her stomach was empty and she was growing dizzy. As she swiftly turned around, maybe a little too swift, her head ached with pain and she struggled to keep her eyes open for much longer. Her ears rang and buzzed and she almost thought the school bell was going off much, much louder this time. Everything began to fail her and (F/N)'s legs caved beneath her as her vision faded.

She couldn't concentrate on anything and her breathing increased as she took in less and less oxygen in her short and laboured breaths. She was barely aware of her surroundings, but she could feel someone's arms around her, holding her up while voices surrounded her. She wanted to tell them to shut up, they were too loud and it hurt her ears as if the voices were ten times louder. Then a thought occurred to (F/N).

Why did she care anyway?

Instead of tensing her limbs as she tried to make them work, she let them go completely limp like a rag doll and instead of trying to force her eyes open, she let them stay closed and peaceful. Then finally, instead of thinking and trying to keep herself conscious, she let her mind rest and fall into the deep abyss of nothingness; all her thoughts could drift off and she wouldn't have to worry about anything anymore.

She wouldn't have to do anything. 

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From the second (F/N) had entered the class, Berwald had noticed come thing was off. Since he'd seen her again since childhood, her happy, full-of-life eyes were now dulled and she always seemed fed up with everything, but today they were even worse. The circles underneath her eyes were visible like a black stain on a white shirt. Her face was pale yet her cheeks were slightly flushed pink. She looked incredibly tired and throughout the class it looked like she was battling just to keep her eyes open. He wondered why, but he hadn't asked and just when he'd been given the chance at break time, she'd brushed it off like her health didn't matter and had stormed off.

It was like she was doing this to herself.

The next thing Berwald saw was her small and frail form collapsed on the floor. Now he was really worried. Both he and Tino panicked, not really knowing what to do since the teacher had left for a snack and the other students weren't doing much but staring in shock and mild curiosity. As Berwald held her up in his arms he noticed she was even thinner than he thought; her arms were like sticks. Her face was red and her breath came out in short, laboured puffs. Her eyes were bordering on closing and she was fighting to keep them open again. Her limbs felt stiff and rigid as if she was trying to force them not to go lose and fall unconscious.

But then suddenly, she just stopped.

Her eyes closed completely, her breathing evened out slightly and though still laboured wasn't as harsh as before. Her whole body just went limp completely.

It was like she was giving up; she gave up.

And now with the unconscious body of his childhood friend in his arms, Berwald stood up while Tino next to him panicked ceaselessly. He held her tightly to his chest and decided the only thing to do would be to take her to the school nurse who would have an idea of what to do about this. He told Tino what he was going to do and that he needed him to stay here to tell the teacher what's happened when he got back. He didn't want to leave (F/N) by herself in the nurse's office.

With that and a nod from Tino, he rushed off to the nurse's office, ignoring all the weird looks he was getting. Everyone was muttering to each other, staring and talking about them. Seeing fellow students around made Berwald wonder whether any of them were friends with (F/N). It had been a couple of days now and (F/N) had kept saying her friend was off school. It was suspicious, and no one even seemed to care that (F/N) had passed out. Did anyone care?

When Berwald finally arrived at the nurse's office, the kind school nurse quickly told him to lay (F/N) down on a bed and she set out on making (F/N) more comfortable. She pulled the blankets over her until they covered up to her chest and placed a cold, wet towel over her head, making (F/N) whimper a little bit. After a while, the nurse had finished and sat down at her office chair again while Berwald sat on a chair next to (F/N)'s bed.

She explained how (F/N) had collapsed from exhaustion and hadn't been eating, drinking or sleeping enough. It had all finally caught up to her and she fainted completely. It seemed like this had been going on for a while before Berwald and Tino had arrived at school.

Yet again, Berwald thought the same thought; it was like she was doing this to herself.

The nurse told him he could stay there to watch over her and that she would be next door if he needed her. After she left the room, Berwald turned his gaze back to (F/N). She looked a little more peaceful now, rather than the face she was making earlier. She looked like she was struggling, trying hard to do something but it was just out of her reach; she looked like she was in pain. It made Berwald feel so useless, he could do or say anything that could help her if he didn't understand how she felt.

He wished he could understand her now.

She'd always been bright, cheerful; just the type of person you'd love to be friends with. But now, she was cold and she seemingly had no one else. She changed more than a lot and Berwald wished he could just understand why. Was the bright little girl he knew not really how (F/N) was?

Then again, sometimes when their classes separated, like in gym class were boys split from girls, he'd often looked over to her class to see her looking dull, sad and alone. Then when she'd look up and catch him staring, she'd give him the brightest smile she could and would wave enthusiastically. Some part of him wanted to tell himself that he was a little kid, how could he have noticed. But the other part begged to differ.

He felt like if he was her true friend, he would be able to tell when something wasn't right; just like with now.

He should have talked to her beforehand, after school, anytime at all. He should have asked her why she'd changed so much, he should have asked her what was wrong.

And because of that, he felt like a failure as a friend.

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Poor Reader-Chan, yet again I've been mean.
And I'm probably not going to be nice for a little while!

Please remember if this makes you feel depressed, please don't read.. But thank you to the people who are able to! I post because you guys inspire me to so thank you! Just a question, have any of you readers passed out in school, maybe from anything? I've never passed out from exhaustion, but I have passed out from epilepsy before.

I'll try to get something else out soon but tonight I think I'd like to sleep ^^

Bye!