"Foolish men, who accuse Women without reason. Not seeing you're the cause of the very thing you blame! If your unequaled craving is inspired by her disdain, why demand good behavior, while inciting her to wrong?

You combat her resistance then later gravely blame her fickleness in giving what your persistence won. You resemble, in the bravery of your insane behavior, a child inventing a monster- then holding it in fear!

Could anything be odder than such lack of common sense? Which breathes upon a mirror, then fumes when its not clear? No woman's well reputed, even the most discreet; if she wont let you in she's cold, and if she does she's loose. Of what should be made, she who would win your love, when if she's cold she offends you, and if she's easy she is well boring?

Between the boredom and the pain you throw in our direction, Good luck to her who rejects you- and welcome your complaints!

Why are you so appalled by a blame of your own making? Either like her as you've made her, or make her as you'd like her."

Juana Asbjae.

"The story of my mother. (Ansel says)

Or the story you've invented based on a poem in a book you once read?

What's your name again? Tiffany Brahm, you called the house and i came.

Right, a rent a whore.

Are you this pleasant with all the whores you've rented Mr. Benz?

Is that what they call me?

Yes, especially Ritchie!

Don't mention Ritchie.

Oh, a sore spot or he reminds you of the woman mentioned in the poem?

Time for you to leave!"

Ansel opens his office door into the darkness of night and signals for the security guard to help her out. Tiffany goes with a smile on her face as she licks her finger and wipes it through the mini mountain of cocaine on the mirrored tray that still sits on his desk.

The office door shuts. Ansel sits in his sweat and smokes a cigarette.

Lee Frank Anderson age 12, enters his mothers room. He see's her laying on her bed awkwardly. Sprawled across the mattress that isn't covered in sheets. Her right leg is hanging off the bed with her left arm dangling above a used syringe. Blood drips from her injection site.

Looks like she missed, he says to his brother Leroy. Leroy grabs some toilet paper and begins to wipe her cubitus ( the space or depression on the anterior surface of the elbow joint) Lee picks up the syringe and places it into the yellow container that sits next to Mama's bed. He and Leroy move her fully onto her bed after assessing her breathing level. Lee butts out the lit cigarette and puts the cap on the bottle of gin his mother was drinking straight.

He locks his Mama's bedroom window too keep the landlord out, and then shuts her door to give her some space. Lee slides down his Mama's door and lights one of her cigarettes. He does a french inhale and then exhales near a minute later. His sister Lola comes running up the hall and asks Lee for some ice cream for her and her new friend. Lee takes another drag off the cigarette and then rubs his little sisters head and obliges.

Lee opens the freezer door and pulls out the ice cream bucket. Tin Lizzy ice cream, a mixture of vanilla ice cream with caramel swirls and chocolate covered toffee pieces. Lola and her friend were so happy they took the dessert out onto the deck. Leroy came and had some with Lee as they sat in the non air conditioned trailer.

Life was good!

Mama got up eventually and ate the rest of the ice cream with her boys in the kitchen. Leroy took a photo of Lee, Lola and Mana with his polaroid. They put that photo on the refrigerator.

That night Virgil the landlord knocked on the door looking for the rent money. Mama cursed at him through the door before opening it and went to her room to get the money she worked for. Virgil smiled and told the boys how good of a mother they had. The boys did not like Virgil the landlord as he treated their Mama very poorly. He called her ugly and told the boys theyre lucky to have a roof over their head because their mama was only good at one thing in life. Leroy grabbed the steak knife from the counter and wanted to attack, but Lee stopped him. Virgil through a pack of reds at Lee and told him to stop by the garage tomorrow for work. Twelve year old Lee nodded. Mama came down the hallway and threw the paper wad of money at Virgil the Landlord. He refused to pick it up, and forced Mama down onto her knees with a smile on his face.

Lee took Leroy by the hand and they went into Lola's room as she slept. Lee shut the door, but not before making eye contact with the man who forced his mothers mouth onto his grey pulsating dick.

The next day everyone in the home was sick. Some how they all got food poisoning from the lizzy? Mama still went out but not before she made herself feel better- as she called it. Leroy stayed in bed as did Lola, but Lee needed to make some money to be able to feed them all. He decided he would need to feel better as well.

Lee waited for Mama to finish getting ready. She kissed her eldest on his forehead and told him to stay out of Mama's ciggys. She stated she wouldn't be home till Friday, and it was only Tuesday. She left, but took one last look at Lee with a heartening smile etched on her face. She wished him well.

Lee went into Mama's room and opened up the drawer where the unused syringes were. He removed the packaging and then lifted her mattress where Mama kept the supplies. A drugstore of unfavorable for children lay under there. Lee knew which drug made Mama feel the happiest and so he took the brown baggie. He lay the mattress back down and pulled together the necessary tools. Lee had watched his Mama do this many times and knew exactly what to do.

A small cup of water, the big spoon kept in the middle drawer Lee mixes the heroin with the water and lights up the bottom of the spoon with his lighter. He uses a small bit of cotton to filter through the substances. Lee removes his belt, his ghost buster belt that his vanishing dad got him a year or so ago. In the moment though, Lee didn't want to miss like Mama did all the time, so he chose to inject the substance into his toes. Lee did a small enough hit that he felt mildly sedated but well enough to go see landlord Virgil at the garage.

Riding down the street on their BMX's Lee found a new found love. Lee would bring his friends into the club as they all began using heroin before the age fifteen.

Mama never came home.

Lee see's her smile each time he rigs up and each time he sees her shed a tear as he slips into the unconscious for the next twenty years.