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Sanskar Maheshwari :" A Secret that will make her hate him "

Sanskar hated bringing Swara to the party, But his dad was adamant. He didn't know about laksh and Swara didnt want him to tell them either. So he promised her that he will stay by her side till the end of the party.

And yet he broke his promise because he saw how comfortable she was with his mom . He let his guard down for few minutes as he got lost in an conversation for five minutes .

When he turned to look for her . She was missing, his eyes wandered around till he spotted her running away from someone and as luck would have it , it was his brother .

He went after her to apologize and he failed her yet again because he wasn't able to reach her in time before the car hit her . And it all his fault.

The next thirty minutes were pure torture, Each second he blamed himself for getting her hurt. And he felt like losing his mind. No words were enough to comfort him .

Though he was glad to have his uncle beside him , the fact it was his car that hit her was not comforting. He lashed out at his uncle secretary for driving the car recklessly.

Though being the witness to the scene he knew he was being irrational. Swara was the one who ran towards the car. But the fact remained it was his fault because he failed to protect her.

While the doctors declared she was safe , his mind was not at peace. Given she still hadn't regained her consciousness. He was upset and angry that she got hurt. That his uncle rational words of comfort failed to offer comfort .

Because how can he not blame himself when it was his fault for dragging her into his complicated life and the fact he did so was because of his uncle was not comforting.

He had planned today to be the best day for both of them. Yet here she is hurt because of him .

He will always love Ram uncle, He was his father friend and Sanskar knew him to be part of his life from the day he was born .

Ram uncle wife, Sujatha aunty and his mom were best friends as well. They had no kid of their own , and so his mom would insist laksh and Sanskar spends some time with them which included sleepovers on weekends twice a month .

Sanskar and his brother laksh considered the said visits as going to their second home where the rules are bit less strict and where they get spoiled a lot.

And Sanskar always thought of them as his second set of parents Because that how much they meant to him ,it was on one such occasion he had met swara at first .

        He  was ten years old at that time and Back then he didn't even know her name. All he heard was Sujatha aunty fighting with an woman  and an little girl was holding that woman hand.

          He was playing with laksh in the backyard and only came inside the house to get water that when he saw them. She must have been around 6 or 7 years back then .

           He had been  curious so he  listened to the conversation. It was bit confusing for him given the fact the woman was claiming the little girl has Ram uncle daughter. And Sujatha aunty was denying it. And since Sanskar trusted at the tender age adults dont lie ,he believed his sujatha aunty .

         For a little kid it didn't mean much but when Sujatha aunty saw him in the kitchen , she panicked and made him  promise never to mention about this to anyone. He simply nodded his head in answer  and went back to play.  Never realizing what promise he was asked to give back that day.

               But when he turned 17 ,he met the woman accidentally and she looked older and she had two teenage girls  beside her ,and yet it brought in the memory of the first time  he saw her , if he didn't visit Ram uncle that day he would have probably forgot all about it  but he casually asked Sujatha aunty about the incident assuming he was old enough now to understand what happened back then not realizing the truth was much worse than he imagined .

The truth was a bitter pill to swallow ,because he learned how Swara mom and Ram uncle liked each other in college. About how Ram uncle parents never approved of them. About how Swara mom decided to leave him inspite of his insistence.

    How Sujatha aunty got married to him. How Ram uncle never knew he had an daughter because Sujatha aunty didn't let them meet , She confessed to being scared of left alone. She was worried the woman with an kid will get back into his life leaving her alone.

     In spite of the million assurance from swara mom,  That all she wanted was Swara to have an father. Sujatha aunty refused them to be part of his life and she had told me she realized she was wrong. And maybe because of that she was never blessed with an child of her own.

        But by then she was worried that Ram uncle would hate her when he found out ,  that she never wanted him ever to find out ,  To Sujatha aunty he was all she had and living without him was something she couldn't even imagine.

    And so at the age of 17 ,he again  promised her that he would not tell Ram uncle. It was an horrible secret but secret he was willing to keep for an woman who is like an mother to him .

    And At the age of 26 ,he made a new promise to her when  She had asked me to help Ram uncle  get back his daughter. Sanskar went to visit her in the hospital ,the doctors have told she may not make it through the week .

          It was during the visit ,she clutched his hand and asked him to let her husband find his daughter ,everyone assumed she was under the influence of pain killers and maybe saying something she didn't mean but Sanskar knew it was said with clear mind and it was time for  long buried secret to be revealed .

             While Ram uncle dismissed the whole speech has her imagination, he knew very well what it means. And from that day has been searching for her. And it took him three months to find her.

      But by then Ram uncle decided to visit his sister and her family  in States . He was depressed after his wife death and the suggestion seemed like an good thing for him.

        Sanskar  didn't want to burden him more before finding his daughter. Because it would probably hurt him more. And when he finally found swara. Ram uncle  was not in town.So he  decided to hold onto the information till he comes back.

    He  could have told all of this too Swara on our first day,  he wanted too. He  asked to meet her , because he wanted to tell her about her father. Yet he   let his judgements about her cloud his  thoughts.

       He didn't want Ram uncle to get hurt. So he decided to get to know Swara first before announcing to her about his father. While his initial impression about her was not good. He knew by now that he was the one who was wrong.

      When he realized  she had no place to go after her  step father kicked her out. He  really wanted to tell her that the house she currently lives in is her house and she needs not walk on egg shells in the house.

      He wanted to tell her how much her real father would love her and how he is not anything like her step father  but he  was worried about her reaction.

      And he  really believed  sharing it with Ram uncle first was the best way.  He knew ram uncle was returning today for his father birthday  and all day he held on the anticipation .

           So he could finally share his secret. But seeing her hurt by his actions made him question everything , Suddenly  he was not sure about all of his previous plans.

Also he didnt want to hurt her anymore.  He kept the secret because of Sujatha aunty as he cared about her more than the little girl he met just twice .

       After getting to know her ,he realized if not for him withholding the truth from Ram uncle , she would have had a good father. She wouldn't have to suffer with a father like Shekhar..

    His secret led to her having fifteen year of pain. And he can't erase the past . And if he told her the truth now , he knew  she would hate him ,  he deserved it  for not telling her sooner .

      But the last one month he hid the truth from her because he was trying to protect Ram uncle as he cared about him more than her .  But now seeing her hurt like that, he  realized he  care about her a lot too and he doesn't  want to spring this information on her without thinking about her .

Because she will most likely hate him  when she finds out, she shouldn't hate her father as well . After all she needs someone good in her life and it can be her father. But first she needs to know him well enough to trust he won't hurt her just like Shekhar.

      And for that he needed to keep this secret a little longer.  Till those  two got along and he  know they both would hate him  for keeping it an secret but that was a  gamble he was  willing to take if it leads to Swara having her father at the end of the tunnel. Because she sure as hell won't want him  anywhere near her.

P. S : "That it for now. Click the Votes if you liked it. Let me know your thoughts  on Sanskaar secret, and your thoughts on Swara real dad.."

Love

Nita