Her concerned voice made Sanskar feel a lot better than how he felt few seconds ago. He couldn't sleep after how there conversation ended , while he still could hear her muffled crying sounds from under the blanket. The sounds stopped after awhile and he knew she was asleep but he couldn't  before seeing her smiling face one more time. 

         
He has seen those tears only just once before tonight and that day even when they were both total strangers he hated it and now to realize he was the reason for the tears made it a lot worse than how he felt the first time. He decided he needed to bring back her smiling face and see it one more time before he could sleep so he waited for her to wake up ,and he fully expected her to be angry or hurt or upset at him but instead there she is standing before him with an expression that only indicates she is concerned for him.

   
There was not a hint of anger,hurt or sadness in that face and Sanskar already feel like a weight is lifted off his chest now if only he could make her smile one more time then he could finally be happy just like how he was before that one conversation. But before he could say any more she sat beside him and smiled at him, and it was more than enough to soothe his nervousness about them because for a moment he feared he would have lost her forever.

   
And When she gently placed her hands over his and gave him an bright smile that kind of brought a faint smile in his face as well . And the smile rested in his face as she began to talk to fill the silence between them

      
" Sanskar, I never meant to hurt you by my actions either. I have been thinking about our marriage for so long that when i finally made the decision, i wasnt expecting a No from your side . But it not your fault solely mine that  i forgot to take your perspective into consideration and i am sorry that i acted out like an someone  who couldn't see your point of view.

       
 Unlike you who didn't get to sleep, i slept peacefully and i am finally able to not let my emotion cloud my reactions. I wanted an marriage where i would feel like your equal and yet i have failed to give equal importance to how you feel ,I am sorry about that and since Love is an important factor for you.  We will wait till it happens before deciding on our future.

             
Just like you waited for me to decide , i will also wait till you fall in love with me  Mr .Maheshwari. I don't know whether you can fall in love with me or not. But now it your time to find it out as the decision from my side is over and now the ball is on your court , and i promise to take the answer No and Yes both like an good girl without crying and making you lose sleep. Also  Sanskar this was not such a big issue that you need to stay awake the whole night and worry about it. Now get up and go to sleep " Swara spoke up calmly and for Sanskar could see that she meant those words ,she spoke to him.

             
 Sanskar Maheshwari has been thinking a lot the whole night on how to make Swara understand him and let go of her anger ,but here she is apologizing to him and talking about all the things he wanted to talk about as well . Plus she did smile and that made him forgot everything that happened last night .

       
However she is still missing one important part of his decision. He wants both of them to be in love with each other before deciding to stay in the marriage and not just him.  He can say it to her now and cause another discussion or let it slide for now and keep the smile on her face intact , the decision is his and Sanskar took the tough road as he wants to be truthful to Swara at all times.

   
" The moment i saw your smile had been enough to make me feel better  and i am really happy you are no longer angry at me and more than that i am happy that you are no longer sad. But Swara you have been wrong about just one small thing, i never wanted to marry the girl i love, i want to marry when i find a girl and we both happen to love each other.

     
So for me to decide give this marriage a real chance ,the decision not only rest with me. While you said love happens eventually and it not a big deal for you. I would like too wait till that happens for both of us and not just me. I know it might take a long time or it might happen soon but i want to wait till we both love each other.  I am sorry to force my ideology about marriage on you." Sanskar spoke up trying to convey how he felt about the future.

 " Come on Sanskar. I have my ideology about marriage and you have yours . But the thing is we both are married to each other and we have to work it out together. And i get your perspective ,so it is decided we both will wait till the cupid strikes both of us . I hope it hurries up before we both get old. Now the discussion is over . you need to some sleep,so go sleep before i drag you into the bed by force " Swara answered back making him relax that she wasnt hurt by their conversation like last night.

                                   ################################

                   
Swara looked at her sleeping husband and wondered whether to wake him up or not, he had asked to be woken up in two hours ,so they can go out as planned and since Swara had no idea what the plan entailed, she couldn't decide if it worth waking up an tired Sanskar or she should let him sleep.  And in the end she decided to let him sleep after their long night.

                     
Her mind drifted back to the earlier conversation ,she was worried she may not be able to convince Sanskar that she wasn't upset any more . Last night she reacted quickly without thinking how he would feel about it and when she woke up to see him unable to sleep because of her, she realized how foolish of her to walk away from their conversation .  It was an hard conversation to have under any circumstances and she was glad that it was over and they can go back to their normal lives. 

         
Swara knew they were both  lucky to have such a solid friendship between them in such a short time to be able to talk without hiding anything. Though the decision is halted and they have decided to wait for the Cupid ,being an over thinkers this one decision will be the one they think about all the time until they could fall in love.

             
Sanskar was sleeping so his over active brain wasn't thinking about it yet unlike Swara who was awake  and her mind is only filled with that question. She was all talk about how love will happen eventually and she was not a believer about love being the reason to stay in the marriage. Now faced with the question she realized she has no idea what it means to fall in love. 

       
 Just like how she never believed in coming up with an ideal partner,she never thought about this aspect as well. So what does it mean to be in love ,how will she knew she is in love ,are all the questions that bothered her right this minute. She could ask Ragini or her mom or pari about it but it would definitely make it awkward and she didn't want that. 

       
She could ask her friends who had love marriage ,  but that not possible without telling them about her sudden marriage and the circumstances,  it happened and she is not going to spend her honeymoon time explaining how she ended up marrying to Sanskar. As she glanced back at sleeping Sanskar,she realized she had all the time to ponder on the question and when her mind suggested a internet search for the answer she even heeded to it.

     
 But she dismissed most of the articles for being  over dramatic or silly ,some of the articles made sense yet it wasn't enough for her to decide upon them after almost an hour of wasting on the searches she gave up because there was nothing concrete for her to decide based upon such meager information.

     
  She felt like solving an unsolvable maths problem that haunted her in school. Soon she got fed up with her quest for the unknown ,hoping to think about it some other time.

        
Then her eyes landed on the book she brought with her to read ,Swara tasted ran towards thrillers and suspense ,so most of her books followed the pattern except one book that was gifted to her by pari Di few months back which had been left unread for long time but she packed it with her for this trip as fond remainder of her sister than any interest to read them .

            
The book cover got her attention , it wasn't much but a simple picture of a couple holding hands and somehow that was enough for her to open it and read for the first time. And for the next two hours she forgot about time as she continued to read willing to get to the end until his voice caught her attention.

         
" Swara ,you didn't wake me ?" he asked her and she looked at him and then at the clock to realize it was close to 12 Pm . She had spent almost half of her day lost in a book .

           
" I am sorry Sanskar ,but you were tired and I didn't want to disturb you " She answered back ,she knew he won't be upset with her decision yet she was worried by not waking him ,she had made a mistake as she didn't know what he planned for their their official date .

      
          
"It okay Swara , I was indeed tired but  Did you eat breakfast ?" He asked her only for her to shake her head in answer ,she planned to order something but forgot as soon as she opened the book .

         
" Well forgot all about it because I was reading a book ,it happens to me often Sanskar when I have a book in hand ,I forgot everything around me " she reassured him that it wasn't his fault and since both were too hungry to venture past their room ,they had their lunch ordered in room service .

         
           
" What was the book about that you forgot to eat ?" Sanskar asked her when they were eating together that she wondered how to answer him . Would he consider her silly if she mentioned she was trying to find how to fall in love with him . In the end she decided to brave it enough and tell him everything.

           
" Do you think we will know when we fall in love with each other " she asked him finding courage in the fact he hadn't laughed outright at her admission of how she searched Google for help .

           
  " We have examples all around us ,Our parents ,your sister ,my cousin they all fell in love at one point of time and they recognised it as well . And we will too Swara , when we fall in love I do believe we will know or I hope so because I am not going to search the net for answers " he spoke up with a smile that made her feel much better to realize she wasn't the only one travelling in this path .

                  
Also Sanskar told her when we fall in love as if he believed it would eventually happen and yet she wondered between them who would fall first him or her .

P. S :" That it for now ..Let me know your thoughts and feedbacks. Hit the votes if you liked it"

Juanita Reid