23 July 2015

                  
Sanskar's mind was drifted towards Swara. The plane was going to land in few minutes and he intends to meet Swara first before heading back home. He even called her before boarding the plane,  She seemed to be a bit troubled and Sanskar wants nothing more than to be with her and find the reason behind her tensed voice.

                 
No one in the world had been given the chance to change his life, or no one was given a glimpse of their future and the mistakes they made and their consequences. Except for Sanskar, and even then his future self had one big regret that his Swara won't remember him and he can't even seek her out because of his promise.         

That was his one big regret,  But now he was lucky enough to have got her back in his life and more importantly lucky enough to get his second chance. And this time he had no intention to hurt her or lose her. 

                 
At the thought of her, his mind recollected a fragment of memory of his future self when he was on the plane with Swara and she said those three magical words to him. His future self always knew she loved him,  If not for words it was more evident by her sweet presence in his life. But that day she simply said those words to him.

         
It should have bothered his future self that night not to have been able to say those words to her in return but instead, all he felt was immeasurable happiness.

        
And the fool he was never once thought why he was happy about it until it was too late. If only he did use his heart to think he might have said those words back to her even then and his life would have taken a different turn.

                                 
And Sanskar didn't want to hold back those words this time around till the last minute like his future self.  He had told her that he loved her several times. Still, it was the first words that greeted Swara.

           
He didn't expect her to be waiting for him in the airport,  But seeing her familiar face made him so happy. And the smile that lit up her face made him happy. And she replied back in her sweet voice the two words that brought a huge smile to his face. "I Know". It was all she said after his confession.
                                           
Swara had been waiting in the airport for more than an hour, And she can't help but worry about Sanskar when he finds out Laksh knows about them. She knows Sanskar will probably worry more about Laksh's mom than Laksh, still, she remembered Laksh face that held hurt and anger when he found about them. They haven't even gone on a date together,  They haven't even declared their love face to face.  And even before all that, their life had provided them with enough obstacles.

                    
So it brought a huge smile to her face when the first words that greeted her were "I Love You, Shona" . She wanted to say it back. But somehow she held herself back.

        
Not because she didn't know her heart because she felt like Sanskar had a huge advantage when it comes to their relationship since he has those  years of memories with her, But for her, it was all new and scary

               
She accepted their relationship won't be normal like everyone else,  Especially how can it be when the person she loved had already lived three years of his life as her husband in the future.

         
A part of her wanted to run away find something easy,  But another part of her wanted to make it work after all she did fell in love with him twice. Still, she couldn't find it in her to say those words to him. And that was probably why she said those two words instead of three. Because she did know the guy before her, loved her. And for some reason, he looked sad by her declaration.

               
Maybe he expected her to return those words, But she wasn't ready yet. And she didn't know how to address the problem without making it more difficult. But she had to try, So on the ride back home in his car. Swara opened the conversation with bit of hesitance

                                        
"Sanskar,  This is all new to me. I am trying my best. But I can't help but realize we do have three years of difference with memories. The words come easily for you since you knew me longer. And it not because I don't feel that way too, " She tried to explain but her words were cut short after a brief Glimpse at his shocked face. Apparently, she was off the mark about his sadness as well.

           
" Shona,  I know this is all new to you, and yes I have those memories but it belongs to my future self and not me, it is all new to me as well, " He said trying to make her understand, he knew how she feels about them. 

                       
"Then why do you look sad, Did you find out what you wanted to know from your aunt, " Swara asked him as she wondered the reason behind his sadness.                     
                
"Yeah I did find out what I needed to know but I am not sad about it,  I was rather thinking about how much of a fool my future self had been not to say those words to you sooner, it would have changed everything,  " Sanskar answered her back.

                              
                                      
"What was like I in the future, I know I must have been a bit mature and older than now.  But I need to know how different were my future self and me, " She asked clearly trying to lighten the mood, she knew how only what he told her about the memories and even then she knew it must be hard on him to remember them. 

                                       
"There was not much of a difference Shona. You are the same as you were back then. Once life experiences tend to change them a little by little but everything about you is just the same and that is why it was easy for me to fall in love with you. Why the sudden question, " Sanskar asked her instead.

                                                            
                       
  " Because I am worried about us Sanskar.  Sometimes I can't believe how much my future self endured and still held on to us. I am worried because I fear that I won't be able to be a strong as my future self.  How can you be so confident about us?

       
Don't tell me because we did it in the future. I know our marriage kind of survived everything back then.  I know we both survived all the tragedies life throw our way back then. But it was those events that led you to change your past. Now we most definitely changed our past I am scared of our future,  "Swara spoke up,  about her deepest fear when it comes to trusting her life with him. 

                       
" Shona, it is because we survived them together before I know we are stronger together. And while I do admit your concern are valid.  Nothing in life is a constant Shona. Some relationships start happier and end on a sad note.

         
Some happen the exact opposite way,  And I want you to take a chance and see where it leads.  It's not easy I know that. Stepping into any relationship is not easy but when it is a complicated one like ours then it is hard indeed.

      
But I love you Shona,  and I don't want to lose you again in my life. So don't think about the future. Just think about the present,  Just think about today.. That is enough for now. I am just content enough to know you are with me right now,  "Sanskar spoke up,  hoping Swara doesn't change her mind about them.

              
And it did, Swara realized the truth in his words and it relieved her fears, She looked at her hand that was intertwined with his while his other handheld on to the steering wheel. And she realized she was content as well.

       
If she could trust him to drive in one hand and have a conversation with her and still believe they will reach home completely safe. She can trust him with her heart as well.

     
Because she knew he would never risk her life and neither would he risk her heart,  Because he loves her and she would always be safe with him. 

                       
And awhile their conversation had been long and deep. She realized it was liberating as well to talk freely and share everything. That was every relationship should have an understanding and willingness to talk it through even if it is hard.

      
At the end of the conversation, she knew she had to say those words as well Because she didn't want to have regrets.  So it was when the car stopped and he was about to step down she said those words quite in a whisper because her voice seemed to have failed that instant. And she realized he didn't hear and her courage once again left her.

                      
She remained silent till they reached dida house and while dida and her mom welcomed him warmly.  Swara remained surprisingly silent till he walked back towards the car after greeting her family. Swara knew she had to say it soon before he goes back to his home.

                                        
 That was when she realized she totally forgot to tell him about Laksh, Neither did he tell her about what exactly happened in Australia. They both talked a lot and yet failed to share everything.  She knew she had to tell about Laksh but before that, she wanted to tell him those words she held back long enough.

              
Sanskar knew he had to tell Swara about Laksh and Bade Maa. But he couldn't make himself share it with her and make her sad. His life story seemed tragic enough to be talked upon as soon as he saw her.   But later he thought, She deserved at least one day without being worried about him. 

                      
And While Swara hadn't told those words in person yet. He knew she loved him just like he did. It was enough for now. She was part of his life and he intends to keep her happy. But before he got into his car and head back home to face the demons of his past.

        
Those three magical words were spoken by her  And it was with pure joy he turned around to witness her smiling at him. That was a perfect end to their first day in their relationship or so he thought until he heard another voice that spoke up from behind her.

                            
  " How could you do it Sanskar ?,  How could you betray me and Kavita like that. I thought of you as my brother. And how could you stab me in the back, "  Laksh's voice rang out as he marched into his line of sight .

                
     
Sanskaar wanted to tell him that he was really his brother,  Tell him he didn't mean to betray him. Tell him the truth but before he spoke one word a solid punch was landed on to his face while Swara jumped to his side trying to hold him on.

     
Laksh punch never managed to cause much pain before but now it hurt not because of the pain to his jaw but because he really wanted not to lose Laksh this time as well.

      
His future self made plenty of mistakes when it comes to Laksh. This time he wouldn't repeat them.  And if Laksh's anger would decrease with a hundred more punches he would gladly take them all. Because he was his big brother and his family.

        
It was with that decision he gently pried himself from Swara's unwavering hold and walked towards his brother. Hoping for a chance to not make the same mistake again.

                 
Swara knew Laksh was angry, But she didn't think his anger would be so much that he would physically harm Sanskar. And Sanskar was really mad to keep getting hit without defending himself.

           
And Swara couldn't even interfere, He didn't have to say a word but Swara knew the moment he pried her hold on him. He wanted her not to interfere. Still, it was hard to see him getting hurt.

         
But thankfully Sanskar couldn't stop others from interfering. Because when Ragini stepped in to drag Laksh away from them, all the while looking at Sanskar as if he was a murderer. Swara didn't know whether to feel angry  at her for blaming Sanskar or relieved that she interfered to stop the fight

                 
"Don't cry Shona, "were the three words he spoke with a swollen jaw, as he noticed the tears that streamed down her face. And Swara could very well imagine punching him for being stupid if not for the fact he already received it from his stupid cousin.

       
Instead, she took him back to her home to treat his wound. He didn't say a word while Swara tried her best to treat them. Her mom and dida thankfully didn't say anything either.  Once his wound was treated she couldn't keep silent anymore. She didn't care if she had an audience in the form of her family.

                                        
  "I love you not him and he had no right to blame you for my choice. How could he do that,and are you a fool to keep getting hit without even defending yourself, " She declared and realized in anger even those three words seems to roll off her tongue easily. Because she was furious with Laksh. She knew he was angry but his actions were wrong. 

                         
  "Because he is my brother and he was hurt by the truth,  " Sanskar replied as if that explains everything.

                  
"I know he is like your brother, " Swara spoke up but stopped when Sanskar looked at Laksh who managed to come up for another round of the fight. While Ragini was trying to hold him back.

                
" No. He is not like my brother,  He is my brother, " Sanskar replied back,  finally looking up to Laksh and hoping his brother's fists would remain without a target till he explains.

                                                    
"What do you mean I am your brother?, " Laksh asked, clearly stumbling with confusion at his cousin's sudden declaration.

      
At that moment Laksh didn't realize his life would change that day. And he would learn something that might alter his entire life.

P. S:" That is it for now , Let me know your feedback and feedbacks. Hit the votes if you liked it. "

Juanita Reid