17th July 2015                

Swara opened the door and let him inside. She decided to have patience and listen till the end. No matter how much her heartbreaks, She deserves to know the entire truth. It was by luck that she was alone in her house.     

Dida and her mom went to the hospital for Dida's regular check-up and Nikhil had left early for some errand.   Her living room always seemed spacious but at that point of time when she is all alone with him.  No space seemed enough.                       

"Do you want anything to drink?" was her first statement,  Well in her mind it seems better to ask that than ask about anything else. He nodded his head indicating a No. He took his place on the couch and waited for her to sit as well.                              

She was nervous but it looked like he was nervous too and he must have probably rehearsed this speech a million times in his mind.  But still, his voice faltered when he talked about their future. Apparently, the practice was of not much help,  And she listened.    

Apparently, her marriage had love, he loved her it was evident in the way he spoke of her future self. Yes, she understood they were married couples who stayed as friends for most of the time. But still, Swara could understand why her future self stayed with him Because she was happy.                                      

And when he talked about the accident. It was like he was reliving those days all over again. The pain and despair were etched in his face. Her hands automatically went towards her legs in a protective gesture. She doesn't want to lose the function of her legs.   She can't imagine a life without being able to dance. He seemed to have noticed her despair. As he said those words to her.                                 

"Kavita is alive now Shona, I have changed it once and I will change it again for you. Nikhil won't die and neither would any harm befall you. Just trust me, Shona, "  He promised. And it calmed her raging heart at once. As he continued talking about their future.  Swara learned everything and she knew she judged him too quickly.                       

Sanskar didn't say anything for a while after he told her everything. He was waiting for her reaction and he was mildly relieved to know that his Shona was not lashing out at him. But her calmness worried him. And after a few silent minutes, she spoke up.            

" How can I believe you love me for who I am not the one who you know from your dreams, this is the real me, not the one you talked about ?"  She asked the question that haunted her the most. Yes, she could see his actions, hear his words, and if she had any brain. She would realize her future self was loved by him.        

But love is a tricky four-letter word, she needed to know if his love stems from his memories or because of her. She doesn't want to compete for his love. She needs to know his heart belongs only to her.

" You are entitled to your doubts  Shona when I woke up with the dream, I knew my future self loved you yet my heart still loved Kavita, it was because of that I never assumed my path will change towards you.     

I know you have your doubts regarding my sudden change of heart Shona, I wish I could explain it to you but how can I when I barely able to understand any of it.                                                

I am always stubborn Shona,  And I would never even think of breaking any promises even if it was made by my future self. But I broke all of them when it comes to you. I know I was losing the battle from the moment my eyes landed on you. And I knew my life won't ever be complete without you.                                

  I fought my feelings thinking the attraction or connection I felt towards you is because of those memories, but truthfully I did fall in love with you. It was you who made me fall in love. My words might never be enough to make you believe me, So give me a chance and I will prove it to you. I have hurt you enough Shona.     

And I won't be doing this now if I even thought there is a one percent chance that I will hurt you again. I am not unsure about my heart anymore Shona. But I understand your hesitance as well. So give me a chance that all I ask, "He pleaded as he laid out his heart in the open and Swara wanted to trust him. She really did but before she could speak up. And voice haltered both of their conversations.                                

" What is he doing here? " came Nikhil's angry voice, He was not pleased to see Sanskar in the house at all.                               

"He came to talk Nikhil, " She tried to calm him down.                                

"So it is going to be him after all he did, after he broke your heart. You are going back to him. What about me. What about the fact I loved you ever since I knew what love was all about. He just came in for a little less than a year and I don't matter anymore. Is that how much I meant to you Shona, " His words have managed to cut deep.  Swara definitely didn't like hurting him at all.  She was out of words to offer and it was Sanskar who came to her rescue.

                                    
" Yes I admit it Nikhil,  You know Shona for a long time than me. But unlike you, I do understand how much you mean to her. And so please just because you are hurt. Don't hurt her in return. I am not saying it because she is hurting but because you will regret hurting her.  Because I do know you love her Nikhil.  And I am sure each hurt you caused your loved ones will remain the biggest regret of your life and I am saying it from my experience. So calm down and talk to her instead,  " with that he walked away. Because in spite of his words Nikhil was not yet ready to tolerate his presence in the house.                          

Swara stood speechless when he left. He didn't say a word to her, Was he giving her a chance to choose differently this time, or did he trust her that much. Her heart already knew the choice and how to convey it to her best friend was another thing.                                    

"I am asking again Shona,  Him, or Me."  Nikhil voice rang out once again making her look towards him                 

 Sanskar's mind was in chaos when he drove back home. It was not easy for him to leave Shona with Nikhil. But last time his possessiveness or as Shona called it. His Jealousy destroyed everything and this time he won't let it happen again. Yet his mind was restless. He was driven to insanity by his curiosity.   But all those questions didn't matter when he saw his bade Maa.

There at that moment, he realized he needs to sort his life out first. Because more than his Jealousy the greater risk was his bade Maa finding about Shona.                             

And it was because of that he announced to his bade papa and Laksh that he is going to Australia for a visit. They both had questions but didn't voice it out. And he knew he took the right decision when he saw the slight apprehension of fear in her eyes as he left the home.                              

He doesn't want to leave without seeing his Shona, But he doesn't want to go and fight with Nikhil either. So he called her and she answered on the first ring.                              

"Hello, " was all she said. And he wanted to ask so many things but at that moment he couldn't ask any of them.                          

"Hi,  How are you. And how is he?" He can't help but ask about him either.                          

"We had a fight last night. And he left the house,  He just came back in the morning. I am still worried about how to face him. And if he finds out I am talking to you. He will fight again, Can we talk later, " She asked him, with so much reluctance.                            

" Okay, And Shona I am going to be out of the country for few days. I am on my way to the airport. I will call you when I land, " He told her,  He didn't know how to convey it at all.                      

"Where,  Why,  Business trip. How many days? " her question conveyed how much his sudden trip bothered her.                            

"Australia,  To meet my aunt. My mom's sister, Not a business trip. I will try to be back as soon as I get my answers, "  He answered,  each of her questions.                               

"Do you have to go? " her voice was now pleading,  He knew the time was not right. Yet he can't postpone it further.                             

"I am doing it for us Shona, I won't risk your life. I need to do this for you. I will be back soon,"  He replied trying to make her understand.                            

" Okay, Come back soon. Call me as soon as you land. And Sanskar, please be careful"  came her reply.                              

" I will and Shona despite who you choose just remember I will always love you, " He replied back as Nikhil's voice rang in his ears asking Shona to choose between them last night. He didn't want her to feel guilty if her heart didn't choose him.                                 

"I already did,  I choose you. So come back soon. And Sanskar, I,  Well come back and I finish the sentence for you, " She replied back and she heard his laughter after a long time. He was happy and that made her happy.  And when she turned around she saw Nikhil standing behind her and his expression was not happy.                       

 "Bye Shona, Love you, "he spoke up and ended the call not realizing the storm the call had unleashed onto their lives.

P. S:" That is it for now, Let me know your feedback and thoughts. Hit the votes if you liked it. "

Juanita Reid