Future series part  11

28 June 2019

                        
Swara had a habit of sleeping in on the days she had no classes to teach, and so she didn't expected to be waken  up to the  sounds of laughter in her house. 

The soft melodious laughter of a girl dragged her out of the bed to see the visitor who seemed to have made her Sanskar laugh. It was not an every day occurrence to hear Sanskar carefree laughter. It was something very rare in her life. His burden and guilt have always held him back from being happy. So she had the urge to see the reason for his happiness.                      

And then her eyes landed on an beautiful girl who might be an year or two younger than her. She was laughing with her Sanskar. And Swara eyes refused to see anything else except how close the girl was sitting next to him .       

They were seated on an couch with little to no distance between them. She was not the jealous type, yet Swara wanted to do anything to get between those two. Her footsteps alerted her husband and he actually looked bit hesitant to see her. And somewhere Swara worried about the introductions what if it was one of the girl who loved him she worried .                      

But before Sanskar could speak an word. The girl walked  towards her and  Swara noticed she didn't look happy to see her either. It was as if she was assessing her rival from the way she looked at her. Then to Swara surprise, the stranger smiled and stretched out her hand in  greeting.                           

" Hi  I am Uttara ,everyone tends to call me Tara ,  And I would have come to your wedding. If your husband informed me, But he totally forgot about me, " She chirped up ,  and Swara looked at her husband face which made her worry as she traced hint of guilt in the way he looked at their visitor .                         

"Shona,  Tara will be staying here for few days. Is it okay, " He asked hesitantly,  which further annoyed her. If Tara is a good friend of him ,she won't object to her staying, but the flicker of guilt in his face made it harder for to accept their new guest .        

Swara never had met any of Sanskar friends before except Krish  who works for him. Even  Krish never visited them in this house. And now not only did she meet his new friend, but he is asking if she can stay with them. Yet Swara calmed herself down because she believed him.                         

"Sure Sanskar,  Welcome to our home Tara. You can stay here as long as you like, "she spoke up,  as  she extended her welcome. But  purposely hinted upon  the fact it was their house. Then felt guilt for being jealous of his friend .                     

"Thanks , I know I didn't really inform before hand. But if not this way he will never ever spend time with me , " Uttata spoke up,  as she smiled at  Sanskar, and Swara was worried about the hint of love that shown in her face as she gazed at him .                      

Breakfast was an nightmare for Swara when she felt how comfortable this two were with each other. She gathered that their fathers had been friends and from the way Sanskar recited all her childish antics ,she realized they have known each other from childhood             

After breakfast swara left them together and closeted herself in the kitchen  under the pretext of washing vessels, she felt excluded from their conversation and annoyed with herself for being jealous. It took almost 30 minutes for her to find courage to face them again                 

But her courage failed when she overhead a part of their conversation and all the subdued feelings rushed back leaving her teary eyed .                

" Love you too ,  " her husband words echoed in her brain , the affection he showed on his face made her sad and angry. Then she chastised herself for his declaration which she was sure wasn't meant in an romantic way . 

                
Yet she wondered about their relationship  where such declarations comes easily to him ,the  closeness between them made her upset and it got worse when he left without a word to her. In all the days they were married he never once left for work without telling her, yet today he all but forgot about her .      

When Uttara came in search of her after he left , Swara barely managed to compose herself from showing her emotions. She felt it was better to be rude towards her guest  than show weakness .

" I am sorry for not staying with you, but I will retire to my room as I got a headache ," Swara spoke up,  as it was half truth . Tara didn't need to know about her heartache as well , and so  she went and locked herself in her room and broke down.       

Swara didn't know how she managed to drift of to sleep but when she woke up two hours later , it was to see her husband face starring at her in worry .

 
" I am so sorry Shona, " his voice barely reached her mind and then all the memories came rushing in ,she glanced at Tara who was standing beside him and  when Tara started to speak, her husband halted her .            

" Leave now Tara. You should have called me, what if she was really sick. How can you leave her and just go to meet your friends without informing me? . Do you know how worried I  was when she didn't answer my call, and then hear it from you she was sick ,  " Swara heard her husband lashing at the girl who was close to tears as well .

                  
" Sorry Bhai,  I just didn't know . I thought it was just a headache and she will better when she wakes up,  "was all she said before leaving teary  eyed from their room.                  

Bhai that word had her mind spinning. The word Bhai was never uttered once before when she referred to Sanskar. It was always your husband or him in third person.                   

" Bhai? " Swara managed to speak the single word and her husband looked at her in confusion .            

" Yes. She is my cousin didn't I tell you that,  " her husband innocent question made her want to laugh, yet all she felt was foolish for jump into conclusion on her own.                          

She has never felt more embarrassed than at the moment. She was jealous of Sanskaar and his cousin. Not only that she didn't know how he might feel if he learnt she wasn't  sick just jealous. The moment of awkwardness where she refused to utter an word was changed when their was an slight knock and a teary eyed Tara with an packed suitcase.                               

" Tara. I didn't mean you to leave the house, "  this was the voice of an concerned brother and she was a fool not to hear it before in her jealousy.                        

" I shouldn't have left bhabhi when she was sick. But I thought she didn't like me, so I was angry, I  was stupid Bhai ,and I will stay with my friend" Uttara spoke up making swara feel guilty  at her rude  behavior

                       
"You should say sorry ,  Not leave,"  Sanskar  spoke up,  with concern .   And it was then Swara knew she can't let the girl take blame for her actions             

" Sanskar ,it not her fault. Actually you didn't introduce Tara as your cousin, and honestly I was jealous that I choose to avoid her till I calmed  down. You can't blame her for leaving me alone when I was rude towards her , I am sorry Uttara ,"  Swara voice were bit shaky,   as she felt uncomfortable admitting that she was jealous .
                                                                                                        

"It all your fault bhai.  You didn't invite me to your wedding and bhabhi doesn't know me , and I still shouldn't have left you alone , I just thought you hated me ,  "Uttara spoke up,  and Swara smiled at the girl for not being upset with her .                                        

" I am sorry Tara,  You know the wedding had been planned quickly , " he replied back , and after much more grumbling Tara finally conceded to forgive her bhai.

                         
Swara was thankful for the call from Krish about the business meeting which Sanskar left in midway when she didn't answer her calls.  He did ask plenty of time if it was okay to go now before leaving . And Swara wanted nothing more than that at the moment.       

She was still plenty nervous about his reaction. But the one text from him on the way  killed her fears in an instant..                                

"I am sorry Shona. I always keep hurting you, "  The message  stated, The lines didn't say much but she knew he understood. Why she was hurt. While he might not realize his love towards her. He was always considerate towards her love. So it was not hard for him to realize her hurt. 

                                
Tara and her made up quickly after Sanskar left.  Once he gone she didn't feel all that embarrassed to talk about it. For Tra it was just an reaction of an jealous wife. She didn't know the circumstances of her marriage.                    

As the time passed, they  become quite good friends . It was around few hours later.  Swara heart began to panic with the fact Sanskar might be home soon. When the door bell rang she opened it with trepidation only to find another familiar face starring at her ,Nikhil her best friend .

                                   
Swara noticed how taken Tara was with Nikhil. It was evident with the way she shook his hands and introduced herself as  Uttara.  She was shy and Nikhil almost turned to be an flirt. Who knew this two would have hit it off.

It was with great sadness Tara decided to go and meet her friends since she left them earlier after Sanskar called her . Swara knew Tara  had moved to US for the last 8 years. So meeting with the old school friends was one of her main reason of visit.

                                   
And when Tara apologized once again before leaving infront of Nikhil , she cant keep it from him when he asked for a explanation .  And his reaction was typical of him.  He was laughing so hard at the end of the tale that  she regretted sharing it with him. 

                   
"You sure do love him, " Nikhil said,  after he finished laughing at her expenses  and she could only nod her head in answer .          

While Nikhil was playing around and laughing  at her , the fact the last time they met he confessed his love for her was something she can't forget.  Swara had said no , she never saw him more than an friend. But he promised to wait till she break up with Vivek. He was sure he was not the right guy for her. And it was because of his broken heart he  stopped contacting her.             

So his sudden visit though made her beyond happy. It also created an layer of awkwardness.  But he was her friend first and Swara didn't feel embarrassed talking to him.                            

"I moved on Shona,  No need to feel bad about loving him. All I want you is to be happy, " He said , suddenly as if reading her mind. Which  made  her feel relaxed and Swara voiced her worry about Sanskar reaction.                        

"What there to be embarrassed about,  If he was in your place. I am sure he would be more jealous than you,"  He tried to calm her down.      

But Swara knew that was not the truth, While she wants to believe he loves her too. The fact is he doesn't know it and there was no way he would even be jealous . But she can't very well tell her friend the same.  So she simply said he won't react the same way.  And Nikhil refused to believe Sanskar won't get jealous.

              
So the moment he saw Sanskar car in the driveway. He decided to prove himself right. After the initial introductions, Nikhil started his pretense much to Swara irritation.        

Swara can't believe the way he pretend to flirt with her in front of Sanskar. But she was sadly  right, Sanskar was unaffected and definitely  not jealous.

     
Even Nikhil had to concede defeat when Sanskar didn't even react to know Nikhil  declaration that he once used to love her.  But somehow Nikhil overstaying till dinner  and Uttara insisting to spend more time with her after her return. Let Swara avoid being alone with Sanskar. And when she returned to their room he was already asleep.                           

The next day,  She had to go to work early.  So she woke up with the help of alarm. Yet in spite of all that she was running little late and Swara always made it a habit to be  punctual.

      
She didn't expect Nikhil to visit that early in the morning. But she knew his visit was more to meet Uttara than her from the way they both kept chatting.

             
Sanskar always dropped her off at work . But when Nikhil suggested to drop her off instead, Swara agreed. Since Sanskar office and her workplace where in the opposite sides of the city.   Swara didn't expect Nikhil ride to be an bike. She always forgot he was an racer by profession.     

Sanskar  face showed the first sign of worry when he saw Nikhil bike and turned in to a frown when Nikhil told him about his profession . And Swara had to insist to Sanskar she had gone in his bike plenty of time before to calm him down.  It was only when they were half way in the road                                    

Nikhil began to go faster than before, Swara had one rule with him. Never to go fast when he was not racing. She tried to calm him down insisting there is still time. And that was when he said something that shocked her.                          

"I know, But I am trying to out race your husband,"    He spoke up, to such an confusing sentence all she could reply was an "What" .      

" I was right he was jealous. I have to give him credit, He almost fooled me. But I have an amazing memory of cars, " He chuckled at her.

                                    
Which made  Swara turn around to see if what he said was the truth. And sure enough, She saw his car , he was  actually jealous Swara heart  wanted to leap with joy.

       
But the next second her heart was crushed as Nikhil  bike crashed into an car , And her eyes fell on her best friend lifeless body. She didn't see the blood running out of her body. All she saw was Nikhil face  running out life. And before her eyes closed she saw her husband running towards her.

                                  
She wanted to die with Nikhil and not wake up and face the guilt, But fate wasn't kind to her . She woke up. And saw her husband standing right beside her. All she wanted was to cry in his shoulders. But the dying face of Nikhil haunted her memory.

              
And to know it was all because she wanted to make him jealous,  Her best friend died because she tried to make Sanskar jealous.  A life was lost in her petty quest and she knew it was all her fault. But she also needed someone else to blame because the guilt was too consuming more than the pain in her body. So she blamed him instead.

      
"   You killed him,  " She said, and expected him to deny it .  Yet he stood their waiting for her to continue blaming him                                 

" He went fast because you followed us, It was all because of you. Why did you follow us, Why did you do it, " She lashed out  venting out her anger .

                                
"I was worried about your safety ," He tried, to explain for the first time .                              

" And see what your concern resulted in , He died because of you. You killed him. You killed him," She kept shouting at him. Till the doctors had to take him out of the room. She knew her accusation were horrible. But her guilt weighed much more on her consciousness.                                

The following week,  She refused to speak to him. He always had to face her silence. He never got angry and  just resigned himself as the person to be blamed for his death. 

          
When she got discharged. She refused to go back to their house, Insisted he drive them to her dida house. And even that she didn't say to him but rather to her dida . It was that night in her dida house, He finally broke down. He begged and even pleaded with her to forgive him. And promised to do anything to gain it. 

                                 
" I hate you Sanskaar. You killed him, You killed him. Bring him back if you want my forgiveness, "  She replied back , making him go home alone  and she broke down when he finally left her room. 

  It was her dida voice in the morning that woke her up. Her tears stained eyes might have been an sight to the elderly woman.    

                   
" Don't push him away Shona, "her dida pleaded but Swara had already made up her mind. Nothing was going to shake it. 

                      
"I won't be an burden to him dida. I need to do this to make him stay away, I can't stay with him. I won't be the crippled wife he need to take care of, Can't you see. I can't walk dida. Not anymore, I will only be an burden to him. It better if he hates me and leaves me, " She replied back , refusing to cry again                         

  " You are the fool if you think. You are helping him, Don't you see. You are only hurting both of yourselves unnecessarily,  "dida was the voice of reason. But Swara stubbornness  won out in the end . She wasn't going to be an burden to him. And she decided to keep pushing him away from her.                           

Sanskar was more stubborn than her. He kept visiting her twice every day. He refused to leave her house on her birthday. He was keeping all his promises. And yet Swara remained firm in her decision.  She always hoped her treatments would prove to be successful. But after hearing months of disappointing news she gave up.                            

And she decided to give up on him too. He visited her  early in the morning. One look at him. She knew he remembered.  And she also knew because of that it will hurt him more.

                           
" I want divorce Sanskar,"  She asked,  The first sentence she spoke to him in months. And she asked it on their wedding day. Because what can be more cruel than that. She could see his face crumble with her words. She could see the pain in his eyes. And she knew she had finally managed to make him walk away. 

P. S :" Well how was the twist,  Let me know your feedback  and thoughts .  Hit the votes if you liked it."

Love

Nita