Chapter 12:"  His Wife "

16 February 2015

                  
  Sanskar opened his eyes to find his wife crying over him  , and he found himself wanting to wipe away those tears he caused. He wanted her to stop crying. And so he urged her to not worry about him. Because he knew he deserve all the pain. The dream ended and he faded back to unconsciousness, he knew it was dream because there was no way Swara would be crying for him ,as she is no longer his wife.           

When he actually opened his eyes,  he didn't see his Shona. He was welcomed with an concerned Lucky and Kavita. That was his reality now. But when his eyes landed on his uncle. The panic and fear hit him really hard. Kavita and his uncle in an same room. He only relaxed when Laksh assured him later  that he introduced Kavita as Sanskar's friend not girlfriend.           

Still Sanskar had spent the next one week in panic. He needlessly bothered Laksh  to ask him the same question again and again.  And not only that he called Kavita once every hour to check on her safety. He only relaxed after an week. And life resumed again for Sanskar. His fear had began to disappear little by little. He spent his time working on the company. Trying to live up to his father ideology.  He used work as an reason to avoid the rest of his thoughts.   

  But when he was all alone in her room,  He can't help but miss her. She had avoided him after inviting him to dida birthday party that was the last time he saw her  .  She didn't even visit him in the hospital.  He very well couldn't ask Kavita his girlfriend about Swara or Laksh due to his crush. He knew obsessing over her was pointless and he didn't know if it was because of his memories or if she wormed her way into his mind on her own .            

He woke up with the same dream that has been bothering him ever since his tiny accident. Her crying face. It was an dream he was sure of that  but it looks more real every night. And he switched on his laptop and decided to work to keep his mind of her. Just like every other night.                          

It was exactly one month later did he realized how no one can take her place in his life. Laksh, Kavita and Sanskar were seated in an Cafe. Actually Laksh dragged him out to hang out. Sanskar felt good and relaxed as  it was like old times.  But when Laksh brought up the topic of marriage.

         
Sanskar tensed up. And when Laksh further insisted Sanskar should introduce Kavita properly to his family. The fear for her life began to surface again.  He immediately shut his suggestion down in defense but was rewarded with an very angry Kavita.                   

Sanskaar can't blame Kavita. When his behavior screamed like someone who is least bit interested in introducing her to his family.  He hoped for an magic solution to deal with the matter of heart but he knew he was hurting her by his action. His distance and sometime his indifference.                    

An month ago. Sanskaar  had decided to break up with Kavita because he was too damaged and no longer the same person .  He wanted her to be protected and he thought she won't die if she was no longer his girlfriend. But when he found out about her father. He just couldn't do it until he knows more about his parents death. Particularly more about Mr Agarwal involvement in his daughter murder. The motive for Kavita murder. He needed to know if he wanted to protect her.   

But now he realized he was hurting her by his actions. He couldn't be himself with her nor could he break up with her. And she was hurt,  Sanskaar tried comforting her. But it didn't work as she lashed back at him                   

"Do you even want me to be part of your family. Do you even see an future of us where I am your wife. I am tired of waiting Sanskaar. You look like you have no intention of ever Marrying me,  "  was her broken words. And Sanskar realized for the first time. How he can't fathom anyone else has his wife except her.

 Sanskar knew the train of thoughts that went through his future self while deciding to change his past and when he decided to change back time. He didn't take an minute to think If that what he want or how his act might change their  lives . Sanskar does love Kavita  , it was because he does he wanted her to be happy and he knew her happiness wont last with him .        

But wife that term belongs to her. It was stupid,  It doesn't even make sense. He didn't even love her. Yet he couldn't see anyone else has his wife. All because of those memories that he can never forget .

He remembered all the time his future self  would tease her by calling her "My dear wife"  and she would smile every time he called her as  his wife. It would light up his world to see her smile and then there was the night.    

Where she claimed her right on him. "I Am your wife, Don't you dare try to Marry someone else"  She was teasing of course.  They were just playing some stupid game about which celebrity they would like to Marry. And when his list grew longer and longer. She got more angrier till she declared  that line. And his reply was still ringing in his ears .

"I won't marry anyone else. No one can handle me except you. I promise , "  His future self  had said back then , which made her smile. That dazzling smile of hers.     

And he knew it was stupid of him.  But he can't break the promise.  Not even if it was to Marry the girl he loves, he always believed his reluctance stemmed from the fear for Kavita life ,stemmed from the fear that he was too broken for her but for the first time Sanskar wondered if it was because of her .                  

  Sanskar realized at that moment he was searching for excuses. Kavita life in danger was the very valid excuse he held on to for all his actions. But truthfully he realized he wasn't ready to give her place to anyone else . And boy that hurt so much. He know she was very important to his future self  , He knew the lengths he would go for her . But he also knew why his future self  went forward with it and that troubled him more .                      

His silence have more than answered Kavita questions. She got up and walked away. Sanskar wanted to chase after her,  comfort her and do anything to make her stop hurting but he just didn't know how to do it. He quickly texted Laksh and asked him to look after her and headed to work.                          

In the office his mind kept torturing him about his actions . He had to make it up for her. He knew his heart belonged to Kavita. So if marriage is what she wants he will get married to her after making sure her life was no longer under threat . But for all of that to happen. He needs to keep her alive. And he stopped by  a flower shop to pick up Kavita favourite flowers. When he got the call from Laksh.                       

Kavita got into an accident and her life was in danger.  The flowers were dropped in the floor as he raced to the hospital.  Wishing thousand times to see her alive one more time . And then his eyes met with an distraught Laksh and Swara. He entered her room to find her unconscious and the voice of Swara stating she might not make it .  And he broke down.

       
After  everything  he went through to change this fate and he lost her again. He didn't know how long he was crying till an hand found his way to his shoulders . And then his eyes landed on the hands owner Kavita who looked perfectly normal. He got so puzzled for an moment because the next second he was greeted by an smiling Laksh followed by Swara..                    

"I told you I am an great actor, " came Laksh voice

"I told you he loves you a lot,"   came Swara voice.

"I Am fine sanskar, "  came Kavita voice,  And that when he realized he got tricked. They probably don't know how much he suffered in the last few minutes. He'll they didn't know how much he went through in the last five years.                      

"Whose idea was it? " He spoke up, Waiting to hear their answer. "Mine" came her voice. He should have known.  Even here she had the power  to hurt him. 

"Get out and don't ever come before me again, " He lashed out.                          

Lucky tried to calm him down. But Sanskar, the man who relived the nightmare again wasn't about to be calmed down and to know his Shona unleashed it was hard to bear. She was no longer his Shona. His Shona wouldn't hurt him like that was the thought that were running though his brain. And if he saw her one more minute he would regret his actions. And so he got out of the room. He almost reached the car when an hand held him back.                      

"She was just trying to help," came Kavita voice.  He simply had no answer to that. 

"I thought you didn't love me anymore, " She continued and,  "Swara told me you did. First it was just supposed to be only the call. But we got carried away when Laksh joined the plan. His friend's brother work here and we just borrowed the empty room for five minutes .I am sorry Sanskar, "  She explained.                           

  "It okay, " he said, Not really meaning it. Reliving the nightmare made him realize how much he would do to protect her.                            

He thought that was the end of an horrible day until Kavita spoke up,  " Sanskar you said some confusing things back then. You told me I can't die again. What do you mean by that Sanskar, "  She asked , Leaving him shocked. And that when he realized he had the solution at his hand all along.               

"Kavita,   I need to tell you something important. And you need to believe me even if it not believable, " He told her and she simply nodded. By then Swara and laksh come back with their apologize. Sanskar just nodded and got into his car and asked Kavita to get in as well . He thought he need to do it all alone. But for the first time he realized. He doesn't need to do it alone.                          

They were both seated in the bench in the park . Kavita knew something was wrong but she never expected even in the slightest how her world will change that day.                   

When he first babbled about time travel and all. Kavita thought he was playing an cruel prank on her. A tit for tat for the scare she had given him . She thought she will play along and laugh together at the end. So she remained silent. He never once looked at her while speaking up.     

First she thought it was because he was trying to keep up from laughing at his ingenious prank. But when he gotten around to the point where he mentioned about his Shona. Her world stopped spinning.          

Kavita knew something was different from the Sanskar she knew. She loved him of course she knew something was wrong. She  thought it was work stress. She kept finding reasons for his change but now she knew the real reason. He no longer is the same Sanskar she loved. He was his Shona's, Sanskar. She was so lost in her pain. She didn't realize he finished speaking.                        

"Say something. Say anything Kavi, Please, "  He begged her ,  and that when she looked up to see him.  She wanted to be angry at him. She want to kill him for the pain he had caused her. But she never had anyone who truly cared for her. And to know what he went through for her. Kavita couldn't hurt him. So she smiled a fake one but nevertheless an smile.                             

"You were an fool Sanskar ,  you should have left the past as your past, " She said, He visibly relaxed at her tone. It was not hurt or angry just wistful.                        

"Won't you do it. If you were in my place, "  He asked,  And truthfully she knew she would have did anything to have his heart back. But Kavita knew fighting for something that belong to someone else was not right.                       

"I would have wanted too save you Sanskar. But sometime you need to move on from the past especially when you had an reason to stay in the present"  She replied back.                     

"It was what she wanted,  " He said ,Yeah she heard all about the sacrificial nature of her friend      

" That because you both were fools. She thought that what you would have wanted. And you Sanskar. How can you not realize you love her even now, "  She asked clearly angry at this two and their foolishness.                

"I don't love her, I told you I love you. My future self loved her not me,  "   he replied back. Clearly confused at her declaration             

"Sometime you got move from past to accept the present with open heart.  You love her Sanskar not me atleast not any longer. And only if you realized it soon ,Things wouldn't have got complicated. You think loving her was a betrayal towards me.  But truthfully you love her Sanskar even now , it was why you can't envision your future with me  and you have not only denied it to the world. But you have denied it yourself as well ," She finished.                 

She could see the realization hit him for the first time. And she can't help but feel bad for him. He waited for him to speak up about it. But he didn't instead he choose to completely ignore what she just said.              

"So you understand. Why we need to break up and why you can't ever meet your father. I need you to be alive Kavi. I have came too far to lose you, "  He spoke up.                   

" Yeah I got it. My father is an murderer and he killed your parents. Our love story was doomed from the start , " She laughed trying to hide behind the bitterness she felt towards her father.        

  "It is not because of your father, "  he said still not looking at her eyes. And her heart went out for him                  

"Sanskar , Listen to me. I think you were the biggest fool. But I  am not hurt. This truth is better than what I felt earlier to know you never cared for me. Now I know how much you do care for me. And I need sometime. Can you give me that. You had five years to move on,  I think my heart at least deserve five days.  And thanks for telling me the truth, "She said and got up. He didn't say anything till he dropped her off in her hostel.                      

She kept her smile intact till his car was within her eye sight. Only when it vanished in the darkness of the road,  She finally let those tears fall freely. For the love she lost, for the father she would never have and for her broken heart. 

P. S :" No Swara. I am sorry about that. But this was an important chapter in terms of story. Let me know your feedback. Hit the votes if you liked it

Juanita Reid