Jared

Bastard, asshole, sick. Say whatever you want, but it wouldn't even come close to what I was feeling.

I hated myself for hurting Allison. I would never forget that look on her face. That hurt or anger. If I thought the day she caught me with that girl was painful, this was not something I would ever want to remember.

A dull ache was there in my chest, my head was throbbing as I got up slowly and wiped my face. I stood still in the empty street, clearing my head and chanting a random mantra as I tamed my hair and my face cleared slowly. I walked back in after ten minutes of standing still. The party was still going on full swing as Cecelia chatted with her friends animatedly.

"Cecelia?" I walked over to her. She gave a quick appraisal at my haphazard self and excused herself and we went to a corner.

"Jared, where were you? Are you alright? You look down," She said, frowning.

"I am not feeling well. I think I should leave. I am sorry," I muttered.

"But the party is for us. Is it serious?" She looked concerned.

I nodded, "My head is paining too much."

"Oh, you can stay here tonight," She raised her hand to touch my face and I immediately leapt back.

"No, I would like to go back home. I want some rest," I pressed my fingers against my temples to emphasize on my point.

"Oh. No problem. Go home and take rest then. I will manage my father. Get well soon and goodnight. Drop a text after you reach home," She smiled and raised on her tiptoes to kiss me goodnight as I gave a forced smile and stood back again.

I had met her few times before but I never noticed her until the day Schoff told me he wanted an alliance if we were to form a huge partnership like ours. It seems Cecelia had always had a crush on me and had just graduated college, making her a year younger to me. Since we were to get engaged, she expected hand holding and kisses.

I haven't had  a chance to speak to her alone after I had agreed as I was off to London immediately. I gave one word replies to her texts or calls when at London and I always came up with excuses as Cecelia contacted me many times after I had returned back to America. I should've made myself clear about this marriage.

I wouldn't ever hold hands romantically or kiss another girl who wasn't Allison Marshall ever. She was the only one and she would remain so.

"Um, I might have a fever so we shouldn't touch. I will see you later," I nodded listlessly and walked out, leaving her to give me weird looks. I quickly walked over to the parking lot, took off my blazer and tie and sat down, fastening the seatbelt.

I started my car and drove off to Hailey's place. I needed to talk to someone. My head buzzed with the last hour's incidents as I drove, pulling my hair tiredly. As I came over to her place, I hurriedly parked the car, dropped a very short text to Cecelia and dragged my feet to her porch, ringing the bell.

"Jared?" She opened the door a minute later, "What are you doing here? Come in."

"What happened to you? Where were you all these days?" She asked, ushering me in, "Dad and mom are worried about you. You didn't open the door even when I went to your place that day. What has happened?"

Yes, I looked like shit. Half drunk, bloody eyes, untucked shirt, messy hair, shattered heart once again.

"Is Mark home?" I asked quietly.

"No. He isn't returning in an hour."

"Kids?"

"Asleep but-"

"Good. I need to talk to you."

~¤~

I told her everything. From the deal to London trip to engagement. Everything. I   didn't leave any details as I spoke slowly, making sure she took in what I had done.

Her face went from confusion to surprise to shock to anger as I finished my story. She kept quiet for a few minutes processing all I had told her. Then, she suddenly got up from the opposite side and came over to me before grabbing my collar and lifting me. I was startled at her power as she swung her hand and gave slapped me on the right cheek.

"Oww," I groaned from the impact as she again pulled her hand back and slapped me on the other cheek as my face burned.

I deserved it. I kept quiet as she stood, fuming at me.

"What the hell are you thinking, Jared!? Why do you always mess things up when they finally start to look normal, huh!? What are you doing?" She asked, visibly irritated. I had never seen her so angry. She looked livid as fire burned in her eyes.

"I am sorry," I said dejectedly, my voice shaking.

"You are sorry? You are sorry? Goddamn you should be! Does mom and dad know?" She asked, looking murderous.

I shook my head, "Just you, Allison and Mr. Schoff and his family. It was supposed to be a private deal. The news is getting published tomorrow. Perhaps, it's already there in the news."

"Jared, you should be killed!" She said, shaking her head, calming herself down.

"I really am sorry. I don't know what should I do. I am so confused. My company will gain a lot from this project but I also love Allison very much," I croaked.

"You are an idiot and selfish piece of shit. You...I don't have words really. You know what is your main problem?" She raised her hands.

"You always take decisions when you are not in the right frame of the mind. You left for studies when you were angry on her, not bothering to listen to her and clear both of your doubts. Then you moped about it for five years until Allison returned again. Now, you suddenly get engaged to a girl for a business deal. Then you mope around hoping people around you will be there to clean your mess. Guess what? We were there the first time... but now we aren't," She spat.

"I-Its beneficial. You gotta think for the better of everyone. I can't be selfish, Hailey. Allison is my love but the company...it has given me so much. It has made me what I am today. I have the responsibility of so many people on my shoulders. You never wanted to become a part of the business so I had to take over and I have to do what is right for Grey enterprises," I explained.

"Oh, really? And you think one stupid deal will change the entire company's luck, eh? Would it kill the company if it didn't gain one project? It won't gain a profit but it won't suffer a loss too. You will lose million dollars, yes but I know the company is doing more than fine currently. Companies and projects are temporary, Jared. They won't be with you forever. But Allison is your love. She would be there beside you if you were there to receive her which you weren't," She spat, "What the hell are you trying to play at?"

"I-"

"Were you starving before this deal? Were the employees not getting their meals and clothes to wear before this deal? You were a millionaire then and you are a millionaire still, even if you don't accept the deal. The company has more than many partnerships and joint ventures. So, you don't tell me the company isn't doing well! I might not be interested in the business but I sure as hell know my statistics and data!"

"Wouldn't Dad have done the same thing?"

"Absolutely not. He loves mom and he knows his priorities. He won't ever go into a deal that jeopardizes his family's happiness. He wouldn't have taken this deal because mom matters more to him. She was there for him when he had nothing."

My throat felt constricted. The pain in the chest was increasing.

"You know, I didn't exactly support Allison for what she did five years ago. I thought that wasn't a good thing she did. She shouldn't have made such assumptions. But now I am gonna support her. You don't deserve her. You broke her heart again, Jared. I hope you are happy," She snapped.

I flinched, "Hailey, I am hurt too. You don't think its tough for me? I know I made a decision I shouldn't have made. I love her. Its hurting me too. I will apologise to her. I hope she forgives me," I muttered, "I am only doing this for the company. Maybe for a brighter future of Allison and me."

"You and you. You think the entire world revolves around you? Your pain. Your happiness. Your deal. Your engagement. Your studies. Your heartbreak. You said you can't be selfish. But I see you are the most selfish right now. Think about Allison. Her heartbreak, her pain, her happiness. Stop thinking about you. Think about her. The pain she got when she got the news. Its not about you getting your apology. Its about you being there for her," She shouted.

I shut my mouth, feeling the burden on me growing heavier with every passing second.

"And if you marry Cecelia, forget about Allison because I am definitely not letting you break her heart. You won't break two people's hearts," She said, shooting daggers at me.

"But she knows its a business deal. She knows I don't love her. I haven't even spoke to her alone..." I trailed off.

"Jared, we are girls. We don't think it that way. She may not love you but she will at least expect some respect from you which you won't be able to give her post your marriage, because then you will always think about Alli," She said.

She was right.

"No one is perfect. Nobody is correct. But that doesn't mean you leave that relationship. Because at the end, affection is always greater than perfection, Jared. You are making no one happy here. You are destroying three lives at once. You still have the chance. Fix it before it gets out of control," She barked in anger, "Use the brains God has given you to good use and do the correct thing for once. I am seriously getting sick of this whole thing now," She clicked her tongue in annoyance.

I gulped pondering on her words, "I just thought this project would profit our company and get it to the next level. I wanted us to give a brighter future."

"I think she would accept you even if you didn't have those extra millions and led a middle class life. If she wanted the money, she would've trapped some other dude by now after your initial treatment of her."

She was right again.

What was I doing? What was I thinking? Why was I doing? For the company? It had already made me rich enough, what else do I wanted or needed besides Allison now? Nothing. I would definitely not have to worry about my wealth because for my age, it was more than enough.

I couldn't destroy Allison and Cecelia's lives. I couldn't be that selfish.

"As I said Jared Grey, five years ago Allison Marshall made a mistake due to her insecurities and I blamed her. You are making the same mistake now by butchering the one chance at happiness and I am blaming you. Just because you are my brother, I won't support you this time. Clean your mess," She paused.

I gulped, feeling like a fucking pansy as tears formed slowly as I wiped them off before Hailey could see.

"Alli did something which you didn't forgive her for but I had gone to meet her one day at a café to talk to her and invite her for my wedding. Her eyes spoke the truth."

I remembered Hailey coming once and telling me not to go to London and think over my decision. She told me what Allison and her spoke about but I had brushed it away because I was so damn angry at her at that time.

"She loved you then. She loves you now. She was suffering and I know you were too. I couldn't do anything because you were so stubborn! That girl had her wrongdoings but she has repented for it and more than had her share of punishment. Don't hold grudges, Jared. It won't ever get you anywhere besides a messed up mental state. You've got a chance to be with her once again. Not everyone gets it."

She loved me. I loved her. Hailey was right. Nothing else mattered right now. I have had my grudges. I gave her the harshest punishment I could. It gave me nothing but anger with myself. I hadn't been happy truly since high school till Allison came back and she was working for me.

Damn it, I had been so happy since the last three months without realizing it.

"Fuck. You are right, Hails. I am such a douchebag. I don't know why I accepted that deal. I am such an idiot," I got up, smacking my forehead.

How stupid could I be? What was I thinking when I signed the deal? I had enough money to give Allison and I a prosperous life. I didn't need or want more money.

I just wanted to be with Allison.

"I will talk to Mr. Schoff and Cecelia tomorrow first thing in the morning," I said suddenly.

"I am clearing all confusion from mine and Alli's lives once and for all. This time, I am fighting for her. I love her and I am making things right. I am gonna do it," I grinned slowly and hugged Hailey.

"Thank you. Thank you sis. You are the best. I love you," I said, moving forward and hugging her tightly.

"Well, I don't love you at the moment but if you bring back Allison, I might love you back," She narrowed her eyes.

"Will do," I kissed her cheeks, "Will do."

I went out.

Tomorrow everything was gonna change.

I would make it happen. It was high time I took the initiative to make Allison forgive me and be mine.