BRIDGETTE

How am I feeling?

Did he want to know what I felt? I felt like scratching on his face and demand for an explanation. I wanted to know why he called me Cara.

“She doesn’t know who I am,” the man said to the doctor, his face worried.

The doctor regarded him with a blank expression before he turned to me. The nurse decided to turn on the lights and I had to squeeze my eyes shut to adjust. The bitch could have said ‘excuse me’.

“Cara, my name is Dr. Pohl. You’ve been in a vehicular accident and I know you are confused right now. Can you talk?”

“No,” I bit out of anger and rolled my eyes. Confused? I was not confused. I was fully aware that I was being mistreated. They mixed me up with another person’s name!

Dr. Pohl did not like my sarcasm and it was apparent on his face. He waved it off and continued, “Can you remember what happened?”

I racked my brain. I remembered walking to the office, my secretary whose name I still cannot figure out, the meeting with Quinn and Natalie, the drive to the restaurant, the ‘catching up’ with Cara, the rain, the fight and then the bright light

And yes, I remember my name and it is not Cara!.

“Yes,” was the only answer I could give. “But I’m not Cara. You’re mistaken.” I looked at the man wearing a checkered polo shirt standing beside the doctor. I wanted him to look into my eyes—my face—and realize he had not been watching over his daughter.

The worried look on the man who claimed he was my father deepened and he turned his head to Dr. Pohl. “What’s happening?” he asked.

I should be asking that question.

“Cara, you’re confused. This thing happens all the time,” Dr. Pohl assured me and turned to the man beside him. “She needs more rest. Be patient. She’ll come back soon enough.”

“No, I’m not Cara… what the hell are you people talking about? I am Bridgette Finn and I demand to see my parents right now. This man is not my father and…and…I am not Cara!” I started to panic. Maybe I was confused, maybe I had brain damage or maybe I was right and everyone in this stupid hospital was crazy! “I want to be transferred immediately!”

I started to get hysterical. I saw Dr. Pohl giving orders to the nurse and she immediately went out. When she came back less than a minute after, she was carrying a syringe and she went to the machine that regulated my IV fluid.

“No…don’t…” I felt my strength leaving me. It was darkness again.

CARA

“Bridgette?” I asked. My body was screaming in panic but I had to stay calm and focused.

“You remember who you are, right?” Lorraine asked me and then she turned to the doctor. “She remembers, right?”

Dr. Stein looked at me and asked, “Ms. Finn, do you know where you are?”

“I’m in the hospital.” I wanted to ask why he was calling me Ms. Finn but I didn’t want more complications. I knew what they would do once they confirmed I was confused. They would do a series of tests to check on my brain. I knew there was just some mix-up of some sort after the accident. They may have switched my identity with Bridgette’s by accident.

But this woman, Lorraine, she thought I was her sister. For sure my face was not covered or damaged enough for her to not see that I did not have Bridgette’s face.

“That’s right. Do you know why you are here?”

“Accident. Car…”

“Correct,” Dr. Stein nodded. Lorraine’s face showed hope and relief.

“What year is it?”

“2013.”

The doctor nodded. “Can you tell me your name?”

Now that was a tricky question. They were calling me Bridgette this whole time. Should I give them Bridgette’s name or should I give them my real name?

“Can you give me a mirror?” I finally asked. I wanted to be sure. I wanted reassurance that I was who I thought I was.

My request surprised Dr. Stein and the nurse. When I looked at Lorraine, she rolled her eyes and sighed.

“I should have known. Of course, you would like to see if your face is still intact.” She went back to her table, grabbed her bag and attacked it, muttering words I couldn’t hear.

“I believe you look okay,” the nurse supplied eagerly. She wanted to get out as soon as she could and I understood that. She still had to visit more patients, prepare more medications and do a lot of paper works. But I needed the mirror!

“You look fine. Just a few scratches but…” Lorraine was saying as she took her time walking towards me. She held the mirror away from her, facing me. I did not take my eyes off her because I was afraid. What if I saw something I different? What if I was not myself? What if I had gone insane? It was nearly impossible that Lorraine and Dr. Stein could both be wrong at the same time.

Taking a deep breath, I turned my eyes and for the first time since I woke up, I saw myself in the mirror.

BRIDGETTE

I stirred awake a few hours later. I had not been doing any physical activity but my body felt really tired. The man in checkered polo shirt was still there, his hands deep in his jeans, pacing the room. His head was bent in concentration.

A small part of me—a tiny, tiny part—wished he was right. I wanted to believe he was my father. He was someone I had always wanted to call dad. I erased the thought immediately. He could never be my dad. He was a crazy old man lurking the hospital premises, believing I was his long lost daughter. For all I knew, he was being driven by a great deal of regret for ever abandoning his daughter years ago and now he thought he could undo it all on me.

No, thank you. I can manage on my own as I always have.

If there was someone in the room who needed to be checked, it was this man. He was the king of crazy and disoriented.

“Where’s Dr. Pohl?” I asked.

The man abruptly stopped his pacing and rushed to my side. “Cara, sweety, you scared us all back there. Are you alright? Do you need anything?”

I thought for a moment. I now realized that screaming would do me no good. I would only be put back to sleep if I said another ‘I’m not Cara!’.

So what do I need?

“Mirror,” I finally said. God I needed to look at my face and reconnect with my inner self. I had to know I was right and they were wrong.

“I don’t have one here,” the man answered.

“Then get one.” I had to control my voice. He was too gentle and too warm it irritated me. When was he going to realize that he had to leave? That he had no place here?

Slowly, he nodded his head and turned away. I didn’t want to feel bad for him so I turned away and looked out the window. It was no use. It was totally dark. I could make out a reflection of myself but it was not near enough for me to even point out my nose. I had to look closer.

I waited for the man to come back but after more than five minutes, I was still alone. Maybe he finally went back to the psych ward. Maybe someone caught him stealing mirrors and brought him back to his room. I decided I didn’t care so I tried the next thing that came to my mind and pushed myself off the bed.

It was hard. My right hand was still connected to the IV line and I was afraid I would tear my skin if I exerted any effort there. I was surprised of the strength I had left after the accident and after being in bed for days. When I finally managed to sit up with my legs dangling on the side of the bed, I closed my eyes to fight off the light-headedness that suddenly came. My head started to throb once again and I had to take a few more minutes to keep myself steady. Once I found my balance, I carefully slid off the bed. Right foot first, then the next. My body swayed and luckily my left hand was fast enough to grab on the bed for balance. Reaching for the IV stand, I rolled it in front of me. Now I could walk without pulling the IV line out of my vein.

Slowly, with baby steps, I walked to the window. I was able to take five steps when I heard a distant scream. My door was not completely close and I think I heard my name being called out.

“Bridgette! Bridgette, calm down!”

My eyebrows knitted in a frown. What was happening?

I turned to the window once more and just before I could take another step towards it, I heard my name again.

“Bridgette! Please!”

I now heard footsteps running and someone shouting orders I couldn’t understand. Turning, I slowly made my way to the door.

CARA

“You have to calm down, Bridgette,” Lorraine said, following after me as I stumbled out of my bed.

“No, no, no…” I mumbled more to myself than to her and Dr. Stein. I didn’t mean to scream but I did and now everyone was by the door. Dr. Stein was not doing anything. He had stopped the nurse from pushing me back to the bed when I started screaming my heart out. He was observing. I knew he wanted to assess my mobile functions and of course, my sanity.

I very well knew I was oriented to time and place. And I was very oriented to my own face before the accident happened. The mirror now laid on the floor across the room, shattered to tiny pieces. I was shivering now as I touched the floor with my toes. It was cold. But I had to get out.

“Bridgette, please,” Lorraine begged me.

Dr. Stein was busy shooing people at the door. They started to disperse and it was me with the nurse, Lorraine and Dr. Stein again.

“Tell us what caused that, Bridgette,” Dr. Stein asked.

“She’s very…careful with her looks,” Lorraine explained to him. “She doesn’t want anyone touching it and she doesn’t want scratches and scars either. I think she’s going to be okay once she learns that,” she turned to me and continued, “it’s all going to go away.”

I frowned for a moment. I didn’t know Bridgette was that shallow about her face. Shit, Bridgette! Where do I find her?

My eyes started to fill with tears. “No, no, no…” I said to everything. No, I did not look like Bridgette in that mirror. No, I am Cara. No, I don’t care about scars, scratches and everything else! “Where is she? Where is she?”

“Who?” Lorraine asked.

“Where is she?!” I screamed. I didn’t mean to but I couldn’t control myself any longer. I had to see her! I had to know I was not having a delusion. I had to see that I was Cara.

“Maybe she means her friend.” The nurse spoke behind Dr. Stein.

He scratched his dark, curly hair. “Do you want to see Ms. Leonard?”

“Who?”

The look on their faces told me that I should have not asked them that. To them I looked confused and crazy.

“I mean yes, I want to see her.” What else could I say? I knew I was not crazy and I very well knew that if I insisted that I was not Bridgette, I would be considered a psych case.

“Maybe you have to wait…” Lorraine said pleadingly, looking at me with concern. Her arms were in front of her, ready to catch me if I fell. She looked at Dr. Stein for approval.

Before the doctor could say anything, I shook my head. “No, I want to see her now.”

As if on cue, the door of my room swung wide and I saw my head pop through the open door.