Warning: this chapter contains dark themes that were mentioned earlier in the book. Please, tread with caution.

(-o-)

My body shook as my head pounded harder than I had ever experienced before. In times like this, I knew it was best to stay still, but I couldn't move a muscle even if I wanted to as all I could feel was a burning sensation clawing down my arms and the sides of my body. My vision came in and out as I tried to force myself to stay conscious. While it wasn't the smartest decision I made, I was sick and tired of blacking out all the time. I wasn't going to let it happen, no matter how many attacks Gallade had to use.

It wasn't like Gallade to attack people for no reason. True, I didn't know him that well when he was a Ralts or a Kirlia as he was fairly new to Rudi's team, but he was Rudi's Pokémon. There was no way he would've done that on his own.

I had to constantly remind myself that as the Pokémon held my legs in one arm and back in the other. His arms were blades, so they would cut deeper into the wounds he had created just moments ago. It took every ounce of strength in me to not cry out from the pain. Not that it mattered. Draven walked in front of Gallade, glancing back at me in satisfaction.

"Let's try this again," Draven said as he opened the door.

Even though I knew what lied on the other side, my vision started to blur a bit. The next time I could see, I saw Rudi pushing back parts of my hair out of my face with a worried expression. His navy blue eyes widened as he carefully placed his hand over my forehead, then over my heart.

There was nothing I could do as I winced in pain. It wasn't even from Rudi's touch as he had taken his hands off of me. There was no reason I should have been reacting to the pain when I had ignored it for a while, except, pain was all I could feel. I bit the inside of my mouth, trying to convince Rudi that I was alright.

For a moment, I thought I was doing a good job until I heard Rudi's voice crack.

"Why? Why did you do this to her?" He asked hoarsely. I felt as if he said something else after it, but I wasn't sure as things I couldn't hear once again.

No! I wasn't going to let myself black out again. For a moment, I forced my eyes to open, seeing nothing but that bright light lightbulb dangling from the ceiling. It swayed back and forth as it started to flicker a bit.

That was all I could see as a sharp pain rippled down my back.

"...Only you...to save her," I overheard the older man's voice going in and out before Rudi screamed something at him. Whatever it was, I couldn't stay conscious to hear what he said. Instead, everything went dark.

(-o-)

Sore. Everything was sore. I could feel my head pounding before I could even open my eyes. My hands laid on my stomach while my head laid back on the bed I was sleeping on. A hand pressed against my forehead before it moved to push away any strands of hair that must've covered my face.

"Please be okay," I heard Rudi whisper.

For a moment, I wasn't going to respond. I didn't know how I could have responded. Flashes of what just happened replayed in the back of my mind. The things that Gallade did to me were unspeakable. I remember him sending multiple attacks on me that would cut into my body, leaving me in worse shape than I already was. No matter how much I tried to dodge the attacks, they just kept coming.

Hilbert might have taught me how to defend myself from other people, but never did he try to teach me a thing or two on fighting other Pokémon. Gallade was much faster, much stronger, and much swifter than I could've ever imagined. In the end, he had me pinned to the ground to use some head on attacks. There was no way I could've dodged them.

To make things worse, I remember how the people around me reacted. People that were locked up in their cells cheered, just like they did when they saw Swanna and Plusle had to fight each other. It made me sick to my stomach that I had to squeeze my eyes shut the entire time. There were only three people who didn't react that way: Draven, Mr. Rogue, and Nox.

The longer I had my eyes closed, the more I could remember the pain of every attack. Eventually, I couldn't take it that I moved my head towards Rudi's voice and peeled my eyes open.

Sitting by the edge of the bed was Rudi. Sweat poured down his face as he moved his hands to his forehead, looking defeated. His long blond hair flopped in front of his face, so his facial expression was hidden from me. Not that it mattered. I could see the way his muscles tensed up that he was frustrated and probably a bit angry with himself.

I looked at him a bit more, realizing the long sleeves on his shirt were rolled up, showing off scars that weren't there before. Maybe they were and I just didn't notice them before. I carefully looked down at my ripped Swanna suit, realizing that while the tears were still there, most of the scars and cuts that Gallade gave me had disappeared. There were still a couple of them, but those were more of the deeper cuts. Or at least, they were deep at one point as they looked more like faded, forgotten scars.

"What happened?" I asked.

Rudi snapped his head up at me, revealing his redden face. His lip trembled a bit before it slid up into a huge smile. Tears started to pour down his face.

"You're alright," he realized, before grabbing my hand. He wouldn't stop looking at me as he just kept smiling. "You're alright!"

No matter how much everything ached, I couldn't help but to smile. Rudi's smile was just contagious, and it was nice to see him again, even if I wished it was under different circumstances.

Unfortunately, that smile didn't last longer as Rudi looked down at one of the scars that refused to fade away.

"What did they do to you?" Rudi asked, as his face grew somber.

Not wanting to tell him, I lowered my gaze. How was I supposed to tell him that his own Pokémon attacked me? It wasn't right. Gallade wasn't in his right mind. There was no way he could've been in his right mind.

While I hoped he didn't realize it, Rudi seemed to understand my silence all too well. A heavy sigh escaped his lips, but he didn't say a word. Instead, he slid his hands away from mine before he stood up. I looked up just in time for him to turn around and grab the hair on the top of his head.

I ignored the aching feeling that surrounded my body as I rolled to my side and pushed myself up. My feet brushed against the cold floor which was shocking. Looking down, I realized between the time of getting attacked from Gallade and waking up, my shoes had been taken off. I turned my head, finding a pair of black boots and socks lying next to the bed.

"It wasn't his fault," I told Rudi, looking up from the shoes and up at him, or at least the back of him.

"But he still hurt you. He used my own Pokémon against you," Rudi pointed out. My lips pressed together, as I heard his voice cracking as he talked. "I almost lost you, and if I did, it would be my Pokémon's—"

"Rudi, stop it," I snapped. "What happened was out of your control. You've done nothing but help others, so don't put the blame all on yourself."

The man just shook his head. His arms dropped to his side, but his hands were clenched in fists. Even though he was standing at a distance, I could see those fists trembling out of anger. It was almost as if he was doing everything he could to prevent himself from lashing out.

This was Rudi I was dealing with. He was going to put the blame on himself for as long as he could, I just knew it. Rudi was the kind of person to fix things, and since he knew that he couldn't, I had a bad feeling it was eating him up inside.

What happened to me wasn't his mistake. It was mine. I bit the inside of my cheek as I realized what needed to be done. If I didn't, he would continue to blame himself. He shouldn't live the rest of his life regretting what happened. After all, his Pokémon wasn't in his right mind. There was no way he could have been. Those two men were doing something to make Gallade act differently. I was certain of it.

Besides, if there was another person at fault, it wasn't Rudi.

"If there's anyone to blame, it would be me," I told him. Rudi froze at my comment, but I kept talking. "He warned me when I first came in here to get you to cooperate, and—"

"That wouldn't have been your fault though," Rudi cut me off before he turned around and shook his head. "You have nothing to do with this. They wanted me to do something I couldn't. I just didn't know that I had that sort of power to do that."

"Then how did you...." I started before I pointed to one of my healed wounds.

Rudi's answer was a shrug. "I don't know. I just didn't want you to die. From there, my hands started to glow and—I don't know. You were getting better. How it happened, I'm not sure. But still, it's my fault—"

"It's not your fault," I argued. "You did nothing wrong. I saw the look in Gallade's eyes, and trust me when I say he wasn't in his right mind. He seemed different, like when Team Oblivion controlled Lethe. He turned into a different person, not able to see who was in front of him."

"Lethe," I heard Rudi mumble before he turned towards me. "Part of this is his fault, you know? If he didn't kidnap you that night, we could've taken down Team Oblivion with a much better plan."

Hearing him talk about my brother that way, I stood up to defend him, but the moment I stood up, I felt lightheaded. Everything started to spin as my head started pounding once again. Rudi must've realized this too as I felt his arms wrap around my shoulder and guide me back onto the bed.

The moment I sat on the bed, I lowered my head. My fingers reached for the sides of my head to gently rub them. There was nothing I could really do to make the pain go away faster except to stay seated and not move.

Rudi must've realized this too as I felt him take a seat beside me.

"Lethe," I tried again, "is innocent. From what I can understand that day in Castelia City, Team Oblivion had a tight leash on him. If he stepped out of line, they could easily make him do whatever it was they wanted."

"But he kidnapped you," Rudi reasoned.

Even though I wasn't looking at Rudi, I looked away from him, seeing the concrete floor for a moment. If this was how he was with Lethe, I couldn't imagine what he'd think when he found out what I did. Lethe was a saint compared to me. After all, he did what he could to help us out, even if we couldn't see it at the time.

I couldn't do that. I didn't do that. While I may not know the reason why he joined Team Oblivion, I could almost guarantee it wasn't for a selfish reason, not with everything he had done this past year. When I joined Team Miasma, it was so that I didn't have to be turned into Team Oblivion. After they saved me, I made it worse by not only helping them, but joining them for good.

Rudi didn't know that. He had no idea what had happened these past few months. All he knew was that he saved me from Yveltal's attack. If they would have told him about me, I was certain he wouldn't have been showing the amount of kindness that he had.

"I've done far worse than he has," I whispered.

Without even having to look, I knew that statement caught Rudi off guard. I could almost see him flinching, not expecting a word I had said. Even though I knew what he looked like, I couldn't face him.

Now that I had said it, there was no going back.

Taking a deep breath, I did the one thing that was destined to happen sooner or later. I needed to tell Rudi the truth. He would hate me for it. After I said it, he would never feel the same way towards me again, but I also knew I needed to be the one to break the news. If he found out from someone else, he'd never trust me.

Then again, with all I've done, I doubted he'd trust me now.

"You remember that time you took me to the White Forest?" I asked, still looking down at the floor while my hands reached behind my neck, feeling the sweat that had collected there. "And I was taken by the Krait Twins? When I came back, you asked what happened, but I refused to tell you."

For a moment, I didn't say anything, not sure how I would go from there. Should I tell him everything, or should I make it simple for him? I wasn't sure.

Luckily, I didn't have to say a word as Rudi seemed to have understood which took me off guard for a moment. "You made a deal with them."

"It was the only way out of there," I told him. "And I thought I could outsmart them because it wasn't anything serious, at least, it wasn't at first."

"What do you mean not at first?" Rudi asked.

I leaned over my legs until my elbows hit my knees. My hands moved from the back of my neck to the front of my face. While they smelled from the sweat that had collected from the back of my neck, it was much better than looking at Rudi. There was no way I could face him when I told him. It was going to break his heart.

Rena was right. When I first met the two, she was afraid that all I would do was break Rudi's heart. While I promised her that I would never do that, I couldn't help but to hear his heart already shattering into a million pieces before the words could escape my mouth.

"They wanted me to help them find someone in exchange for letting me go and for helping me out," I told Rudi.

Rudi took an audible deep breath. "That's why they were in Castelia City that day."

"No," I told him. "That day, they helped me escape Team Oblivion's hideout. While Lethe was trying to get me away from there, Team Miasma wouldn't let me go. They wanted to start the search rather than go to Castelia City."

"So, how did you get there?" Rudi asked.

My eyes squeezed shut. "I made a deal with them, a deal that I would become a member of Team Miasma because I was running out of options. I was afraid of what Team Oblivion would do. I couldn't leave knowing what could have happened, so I made a deal with Gila."

For a moment, there was silence. The only thing I could hear was my own breaths. I wasn't sure how Rudi was going to react, but I honestly didn't want to know. After he died, I thought I would never have to tell him, but it made me feel that much more guilty whenever I helped Team Miasma out. There was no one there to stop them, at least, from what I knew.

Now that Rudi was hearing about it, I was afraid of what he'd think about me. Then again, I deserved it. I deserved any backlash that would come my way.

Instead of waiting for an answer, I made one more comment. Or at least, I finally apologized, even though I knew it wouldn't be enough. No apology could make up for the crimes I had committed.

"I'm sorry, Rudi," I whispered, before I raised my voice a bit. "I'm sorry I couldn't be the hero you wanted working by your side. I tried. I tried so stinking hard, but I couldn't think. I didn't see the repercussions of my actions until they came, and by that time, it was too late. I tried so hard to defy Gila, but every time I did, she'd—she'd do things to me, to my Pokémon. She threatened those who were still around, and I didn't want to lose someone again, so I just listened to her.

"My brother, at least he was able to defy Team Oblivion, but I couldn't do that with Team Miasma. I was a coward. No, I am a coward. I couldn't stand up to them. I listened to them, even if it meant hurting others because if I didn't, they'd hurt my Pokémon, me, and would threaten to hurt my friends. I'm sorry, Rudi. I'm so sorry," I said, feeling the tears escaping my eyes. "It was wrong of me, but I couldn't afford to lose anyone. I wouldn't be able to handle that."

It was then I realized how warm the room was getting. While I didn't want Rudi to see my face or for me to see his, I pulled my hands away from my face to roll the sleeves up. As I did, I felt some of the scars that had gotten there. For a moment, I found myself staring at the faded scars that were left. Looking at them made me realize something.

Draven was right. He might have been an imposter, playing superhero, but he got one thing right. I wasn't a hero. I shouldn't even let myself think that I was a hero. All I did was disappoint everyone. These scars, as painful as they were, were something I deserved, especially since I knew I did worse to other people.

An arm wrapped around my shoulders, taking me off guard. I looked up to see Rudi scooting closer to me. He didn't look at me for a moment as he stared down at the floor. Despite that, I could still see his facial expression. Seeing that he wasn't mad should have made me feel a bit relieved, but if anything, it made me that more anxious with what he'd say next.

"Gila is the most manipulative snake I've ever met," Rudi said before looking at me. His mouth was curved down in a frown while his eyebrows furrowed together. It wasn't a look of anger, but it wasn't a look I could quite read either. "When I found out about her being a part of Team Miasma, she laughed in my face."

Hearing him talk about her like that, I dropped my head away. Gila told me everything that they did during the time that they dated. It shouldn't have mattered to me what they did, but it still bothered me. I knew it bothered Rudi when they broke up, and he kept it from me. I thought we had told each other everything, but, then again, even I had some secrets I wouldn't imagine telling Rudi.

Still, not telling me that his ex was someone we had to defeat years ago was kind of important information. If he had at least told me, we could have worked better together, making sure nothing happened. Yet, he kept it from me. If he didn't, I could have been there for him.

But, could I? After everything I had done these past few months, who was to say things could have ended differently? Not that I would have done anything, but how could I be so sure?

"But, you're not Gila," Rudi claimed. "You said so yourself. Everything you did was because she threatened others. Trust me, it takes courage to deal with her for as long as you did."

"But I still did some awful things, Rudi," I told him.

"I know," he said. "Knowing her, she probably made you do some awful things, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't upset with it all. At the same time, I know how Gila works. Once she sets her eyes on something, she'll stop at nothing until she gets what she wants, even if it means...even if it means manipulating those around her. Just promise me one thing from here on out."

I sat up, not sure where he was going with this. Slowly, I turned my head, so I could look him in the eyes. To be honest, I was afraid of what was about to come out of his mouth, but there was nothing I could do. At least, there was nothing I could do that could change what I did.

Rudi took his free hand and pressed it against my cheek. I tensed up under his touch for a moment before he brushed some hair behind my ear. While my eyes trailed his hand to see what he was doing, I somehow knew he didn't take his eyes off of me.

"Promise me that you'll ask me for help in tough situations like that," Rudi said. "The last thing I need from you is to get hurt again. I-I don't know if I have the strength to pull that off again."

My lips pressed together as I slowly nodded my head. I heard Rudi exhale in response before he leaned over. Rudi gave me a quick kiss on the forehead, and feeling him that close, I felt my body relax for once before I leaned in.

"Everything's going to be fine," Rudi promised as he laid his head on top of mine. "We got in here somehow. Together, we'll find a way out. I promise."

While we sat there in each other's embrace, a question was etched inside my head. It was something I wanted to know, but wasn't even sure how I could ask.

How did Rudi get here in the first place?

Author's Note:

I know, I know! That last question is something you all probably wanted answered now, but I've got great news! It's going to be answered in the next chapter. Woot woot! Who's excited?

The only thing I can say now is that things are about to get interesting (if they haven't already...oof).

Before I release that chapter, does anyone have any predictions as to how Rudi was brought back? Or if he even died in the first place? Got any conspiracy theories going on?

I would love to hear what y'all are thinking. In the meantime, I'm going to edit the heck out of the next couple of chapters. Hope you all are having a wonderful day! Bye.