I can clearly remember the day I discovered my love for music.

It wasn't the same way that most people found their meaning in life, but it was mine.

About two years before he left us, my dad was sitting on the couch playing his guitar while my mom worked double shifts to keep a roof over our heads.  I never got to see my dad play very often because he was usually too high to pick it up, but that day was different for some unknown reason. 

He decided he was going to play for me.

The way my dad's large hands slid over the strings intrigued me and I found myself sitting on the floor in front of him so that I could watch the way they danced.  It was as if the guitar was a part of him.  He played each note like it was precious as he smiled down at me and hummed sweetly to the melody. 

That was the only time in my life I ever remember him being happy.

He paused his playing in the middle of the song and sat the guitar down next to his feet. His whole body leaned forward as he picked up a glass pipe from the table and placed the end between his lips. He leaned back against the worn cushions and dug around in his pocket until he found a silver-plated lighter. His finger flicked the striker and he held it up to light the round, charred bubble at the end.  The flames flickered around the glass as he held the lighter under it and began sucking in hit after hit.

While he was distracted, I timidly reached my shaking hand towards the light oak acoustic. I wanted to know what it felt like to touch the nylon strings and play them the same way he did. If I could bend them to my will like he could and play the same song, then maybe my dad would smile at me again. He would get better and not be so angry all the time.  I could show him I could be good too and he would stop hurting my mom.

I ran my small thumb across the strings all at once and a loud, tinny sound echoed through the room.  Dad jumped up and screamed out in pain. The sudden burst of sound that my hands created for him had caused him to burn his mouth on the pipe. He cursed and picked me up by the front of my shirt to shake me.

I wasn't scared of him this time because the music notes were still surrounding me. I could hide away in them until the world wasn't such a scary place.

In brief moment that my finger touched the strings, I knew playing music was what I was meant to do and it was all I would ever think about. It didn't even hurt me when the asshole backhanded me across the face for touching his things without permission.

Now, Riley's punches were a different story. Those stung like a bitch.

Even with the buzz of the alcohol and pure adrenaline thundering through my veins, the wild girl was tearing up my back as I carried her out the side entrance of Bannon's. It wasn't so much the force she struck me with that was affecting me— the pain was stemming the fact that Riley had drilled me the same spot at least a hundred thousand times in under a minute.

It was no wonder Mia didn't stand a chance against her.

Riley continued beating my back black and blue as I carried her into the alley. She bashed that same damn spot just above my kidneys again and the burn became too much to bear.  I dropped the irrational girl to the ground before she could do any permanent damage to my body. 

The fighter inside me was attempting to push his way through the weak barrier that I was struggling to hold up.  He wanted out of his cage to put a quick end to this shit show Riley had created. I lowered my head to scold the furious girl who was preparing to climb to her feet to go another round. 

If she kept pushing me tonight, there was no guarantee I could keep myself under control. My dad's voice started echoing in the back of my head as he tried to take over my body.  He wanted me to take care of her like he took care of my mom when she stood up to him. 

Fear, panic, and anger were surging inside my body. I had to let it out before it swallowed me whole.

"What the fuck was that?" I screamed down at Riley and dug my fingers in my palms until they bled. 

"I don't know, Ezra, you tell me. Are you sleeping with that skank?" Riley stood up in front of me and stepped up to me like she was going to take me on like she did with Mia. 

I had never backed down from anyone before, and I wouldn't start with a girl half my size. Instead, I leaned over her and surrounded her, pressing my body into her space as I nudged her body back with mine. She tried to hold her ground against me, but she wasn't strong enough. She stared up at me viciously like she was going to tear my throat out.

I laughed at Riley's sheer absurdity. She was delusional if she thought her power move intimidated me at all.

Riley's open hand began to fly towards me like she was going to slap me in the face.  I caught her by the wrist before it landed against my cheek and then squeezed hard until she lowered her arm back down to her side. She kept squirming to try to break away from me and I locked my fingers tighter to hold her in place. The feral girl would have run back inside Bannon's so she could finish Mia off if I gave her even the tiniest chance to escape.

The two of us were locked in a strained, wordless battle of wills when the door to the bar opened behind me. There was no need for me to even turn around to know who would be walking through it. That annoying fucker couldn't ever leave her alone for more than a few seconds.

"What the hell is going on?" Aiden spat out at us. 

Riley's gaze flew back behind me as her body stiffened up. She broke her cold glare away from me to stare at him instead.  When I turned my head to look at Aiden, he was looking at her desperately like he wanted to rip her out of my arms.  He was winding up to take me on too.

I turned my head and lowered my eyes back to Riley, waiting for her to tell him to go away. But, of course, she didn't. Her beautiful green eyes were still gazing brightly at Aiden instead of me. Watching the way she looked at him burned me alive. It was like I didn't exist whenever he was around.

"Your little boyfriend coming to your rescue again? I knew you were letting him fucking touch you." I roared through clenched teeth into her hair. She turned her head away from me but was still silently pleading with her eyes for Aiden to come to rescue her. 

She was wrong, so wrong for doing this to me.  Why couldn't she see how much I wanted her? Why couldn't I be enough?

"Dude, you're trashed. Let go of her. Nothing is happening between us. I have been telling you since the first night you met her that we are just friends. What is wrong with you?" Aiden whipped out his big boy bark, attempting to defend their blurred relationship while simultaneously trying to turn this all around on me.

"Why don't you ask her? She's the one who has lost her fucking mind." I bit back.

Riley was finally staring at me again and didn't even blink when I yelled in her face. Her cheeks were on fire and the little patches of red she got when she was worked up were spreading across her chest. Even the little freckle on her neck became pinker as her anger intensified. 

"I'm done with you. You will never touch me again." Her voice shook with her empty threat.

"You are a terrible liar. You will be in my bed with your legs open when I get home tonight." I countered back confidently.

Riley loved the way I made her feel. That part she couldn't lie about or deny.  I knew how to play her body like no one else could. Not even her little red-headed shadow could do the things to her that I could.

Aiden would never be enough for Riley.  She could try to fool herself into thinking he could make her happy. Deep down, she knew she needed someone like me to fill her in every way possible. She just needed to wake up and realize she was lying to herself.

"You will never see me again," Riley ripped her arm from my hand and stormed off down the dark alleyway.

She was walking away from me. It fucking tortured me like nothing else I had ever experienced. I felt like I was suffocating and couldn't get any air in my lungs. I wasn't going to let Riley get away with it. I wanted to hurt her worse so she would crawl back, begging for me.  I was going to find a way to keep her here, even if it meant I had to threaten her to get her to stay.

"Fine, I'll just go back inside and let Mia suck my cock. You should come back inside. She'll let you watch when I come down her throat." I lashed out as hard as possible to get her to turn around.

And it worked.

Riley's steps stuttered and she spun back around to face me. She was going to come back to me.

"You know what, Ezra? Go right ahead, enjoy yourself. You are a pathetic, insecure drunk. Go get your two minutes of pleasure from her but later tonight, when you're sitting awake in the dark by yourself, remember you did this. You screwed this up." She shrieked and pointed dramatically at me.

She was wrong. Riley had started this chaos tonight for no reason. This whole thing was on her, not me.

I tried to keep my hold on reality and stay strong, but her cruel words carved themselves deep into my soul to remind me I would always be beneath her.  We both knew she was too good for me, and yet still, I wanted nothing more at that moment than to tear her down until she couldn't stand up on her own.

"Baby, there's always someone in my bed." The words spewed out of my mouth before I could stop them.

"And yet, you're still alone." Riley laughed at me in response. 

She stood there cackling at me for a million years while my hands shook with rage. She dug deep and hit lower than I ever could have.

Riley walked down the dark alleyway and around the building to leave. I could have done something to stop her, but I didn't even try.  I just stood there with my mouth hanging open and fucking let her go.