"Cap't, what's going on?" Olivia questioned, noticing the nervousness growing on Cragen's face. She, along with Fin and Munch, rose from their desks and huddled towards their captain.

"Get on your coats and hurry downstairs." He replied, his face slowly turning white.

"Why?" John pressed, furrowing his eyebrows as the three of them followed their orders. They followed Cragen out the door, rushing to the elevator.

"It's Elliot." He answered, his voice slightly shaking. Olivia covered her mouth as her brown eyes widened. Elliot had left the squad a few weeks ago claiming he just needed a break from everything. Kathy had moved out again and IAB were on his back from the latest case.

"What's wrong? Is he hurt?" Olivia quickly rambled as they entered the elevator. She slammed on the button, hoping it would shut faster and get her to her partner. Fin gently grabbed her arm and pulled it back to her side once the door began to shut.

"Not yet." Cragen mumbled, not making eye contract with Olivia. Everyone slightly gulped, knowing captain wasn't going to tell them anything else, especially not with Olivia around. They were all silent as they slowly dropped to the ground floor.

Cragen stared forward, hoping that it wasn't too late. He didn't understand why they didn't call him sooner since Elliot was his detective. Cragen thought highly of Elliot. He was like the son he never had.

Olivia took long, slow breaths, trying to calm herself down. Elliot was okay so far, at least, that's what Cragen told her. She wasn't sure how much she trusted Cragen right now, since he knew better than anyone how close she was to Elliot. He could be lying to her at that moment.

Fin rubbed his hand down his face over and over again. If anything happened to Elliot, he knew Liv would be a mess. He knew her like the back of his hand since he thought of her like a little sister. He prayed that things wouldn't turn out as bad as he thought.

John rapidly tapped his foot against the ground, sticking his hands in his coat pockets. He looked around the elevator, trying not to think of the problem at hand. John was very negative, so all of the thoughts he had about Stabler were worst case scenario, and he didn't want to accidentally blurt any of them out in front of Olivia.

xxx

After what felt like hours, they finally arrived at the Stabler household. All four of them rushed out of the car, heading toward the police tape. The flashing blue and red lights were blinding them in the now dark streets. It was winter, so the days were shorter and colder. "Manhattan SVU! Let us through!" Cragen shouted, as they held up their badges.

"Woah. No one's going up there. Man's got a gun. Can't let anyone up." An officer stated, holding them back. Olivia pushed to the front, finally finding her voice again.

"Please, just let me talk to him! I know him. He'll listen to me!" She exclaimed, pleading with her eyes. She furrowed her eyebrows, feeling pressure building up behind her brown eyes.

"What's going on?" Captain Harold asked, stepping into the argument. He had noticed the fight starting to break out and didn't want it to get physical. He was the one to call Don Cragen, so he was prepared for him, but not his whole squad.

"You need to let us up there!" Olivia shouted, now moving towards him. Fin lightly grabbed her arm, slightly pulling her back. He didn't want her to look too emotionally attached. They would never let her up if she was.

"He won't talk to anymore. We've called the house twice and he wouldn't pick up." He answered, but it wasn't good enough for them. They had to get to Elliot. They had to help him through this mess.

"Let us talk to him." John added, joining in on the argument. He wanted Stabler safe just as much as everyone else.

"Yeah, he'll answer to us." Fin nodded. Captain Harold frowned, furrowing his red eyebrows. He ran his hand down his face, letting out a long sigh.

"Fine. Two minutes. If he doesn't respond in two minutes, I'm taking you out. Got it?" He offered, glancing at the detectives. They all nodded their heads, quickly running to the front door.

Cragen knocked on the door, hoping he would let them in. "Elliot!" He called. "Will you let us in?" He added. Silence followed, making all of them look at each other. Olivia nodded her head, going to try.

"Elliot!" She started. They heard shuffling in the house, knowing he heard her.

"Liv?" He asked. Everyone nodded at her, letting her know to keep him talking.

"Yes, it's me, Elliot. I'm out here with Munch, Fin, and Cap't," She explained slowly and loudly. "Will you please let us in?" She asked.

"No," he argued. Everyone looked at each other. Why was he being so stubborn? "I can't let you see me like this." He cried.

"Elliot, we don't care what you look like. We just want to talk. Please, let us in?" Olivia begged. Silence followed again, making their blood run cold. Elliot never turned down Liv.

Before any of them could react, they heard him unlocking the door. He opened it a pinch, just enough for them to know he wanted them in. They slowly pushed open the door, quickly spotting the shattered glass everywhere.

Pictures were smashed and furniture was knocked over. It looked like someone came only to trash the house. They all carefully walked in, holding their guns. They turned the corner, immediately spotting him pacing back and forth. "Elliot." Olivia gently spoke, but still making him jump.

"Why are you here?" He questioned, his voice trembling as he rubbed the back of his neck, keeping his eyes down. His fingers kept twitching open and shut as he continued pacing.

"We want to help you." Cragen answered, making Elliot flinch. Captain was here watching this too? He had dug himself too deep of a hole. There was no escape now.

"I don't want you guys to see me like this. Just leave me alone." Elliot fired back, anger now present in his voice. He wanted them gone. He wanted to be alone.

They all looked at each other, unsure what to do. They put their guns back against their waist. He didn't want their help, but they didn't want to leave him in this state. They weren't going to leave him like this. They all looked back at Stabler, all of them confused. This was not the ex-marine they knew.

Olivia took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She had to keep him talking. She had to distract him from his thoughts. "What happened to your house?" She asked. He looked into her eyes, licked his lips, then looked down again.

"I-I just got mad. They were th-the closest things." He stuttered, becoming embarrassed by his actions. He was known for his sudden outbursts, but it was never this bad. He had never actually destroyed precious items to him.

"What made you mad?" She pressed, hoping she could keep him talking. Suddenly, his jaw tightened, his fists balled up, and you could almost see the smoke coming out of his ears.

"Everything," he growled. "Kathy left me, IAB is on my back, and I keep thinking about stupid Ricketts." He added, his vein beginning to pulse on his temple. John looked to Olivia, hoping she saw the same thing he saw. He hoped she knew to tread lightly.

"Ricketts?" She asked. "Why are you thinking about Ricketts? That case was years ago, El."

His pace sped up and you could almost see the fire in his eyes. "I keep thinking about Ricketts because I'm becoming Ricketts," he snapped. He stopped and looked into the mirror. "Every time I see myself, I see that stupid perp. I see his anger inside of me and I hate it!" He roared. Elliot stared at his reflect for a few seconds. He let out a growl and swung back his fist, smashing the mirror into thousands of pieces all over the floor.

They all stood in shock, unsure what to do. They watched as the blood dripped from his knuckles onto the carpet. It seemed like their feet were glued to the ground and their throats had gone dry.

Before any of them could react, his hand was pulling his gun to his head. He turned around, his blue eyes filled with tears as he stared at his squad. "I want to escape this before I become like Ricketts," he cried. "I don't want to be filled with anger and murder everyone I meet."

"Elliot, put the gun down. Don't do this." Olivia softly spoke, holding her hands up.

"I have to, Liv! This is my only way out! I have to stop myself from becoming what we see everyday!" He croaked. Tears were now streaming down his face and he didn't show any signs of caring. That immediately sounded sirens in all of their heads.

"You won't become Ricketts," Munch butted in, making Elliot take his eyes off of Liv and onto him. "You can come back to the squad and everything will be okay."

"No, it won't," Elliot chuckled, shaking his head, his gun still pressed to his temple. "IAB will never let me back after this."

"I'll talk to them and we'll get this straightened out. You are not leaving my squad. You are a part of this family." Cragen fired back, not wanting to Elliot pull the trigger. He had to say something, anything to stop that bullet from going through his brain.

"That won't matter, Cap't, and you know it," Elliot softly replied. "You know they already have me at the top of their list. Besides, I don't have anything else to live for. I lost my job and Kathy left me."

"Nothin' else to live for?" Fin exclaimed, furrowing his eyebrows. Elliot turned and looked at him as Fin took a step closer. "What 'bout your kids?"

Elliot closed his eyes as his heart rate speed up. He was suddenly panting and couldn't catch his breath. His finger twitched, wanting to pull the trigger. He wanted to be saved from this hell on Earth. "What 'bout Elliot Jr.?" Fin added, hoping he could pull Elliot back.

Elliot opened his blue eyes, now looking into Fin's brown ones. "Eli?" He cried, his voice slightly cracking. Elliot sniffed, wiping the tears off of his cheeks. Fin nodded his head, hoping this was the right conversation.

"Yeah, li'l Eli," Fin nodded. "Don't you want him to know the man he's named after?" He questioned. Elliot's face immediately hardened. He carefully pulled the gun away from his head and tossed it on the ground.

John reached down and pulled the gun towards them as Olivia walked to Elliot. Before she could even speak, he collapsed onto her, shoving his face into her neck. His sobs echoed in the room, making the hairs on everyone's arms stand up. They had never seen the man cry like this.

Olivia and Elliot were never good with sharing their feelings with each other, so this was new for everyone. "I was gonna pull the trigger. I was gonna leave my kids behind. You-you were going to watch me die. I'm-I'm so, so sorry." He sobbed, hugging her tighter, his cries becoming louder.

"It's okay, El. Everything is alright. Nobody's hurt. Just let it all out." She whispered as she felt the tears building in her eyes as she patted his back. This was a first for everyone. Nobody had seen how stress acted on a SVU detective. Nobody had ever guessed that Elliot would be the first to experience it.

~~~~~~~~~~~