SURVIVORS GUILT
୨⎯ chapter twenty-four ⎯୧

━━━━ "leave me the fuck alone before i fucking kill you! let me go assholes! fuck you and fuc- ah!" maria hissed in pain dropping her head to the hard hospital bed and arched her back. her fist bawling up and trying to wiggle out of the tight grip of the ropes on her wrist and legs.

"stay calm, maria. it'll only hurt more." said marlene standing above her bed and looking down at her. maria watched in horror as one of the doctors stick a needle inside of her arm.

"you bitch. you're a-you're a shitty ass fucking person. and i hope you die," maria gasped fighting the urge to close to her eyes and fall asleep but she didn't. she kept on wiggling around and weakly tried breaking free. "i hope you fucking pay."

maria groaned awake, her eyes tightly shut as the sun blinded her completely. she brought her hand up to her face and rubbed her eyes. just at the same time as ellie woke up in the backseat. she was sleeping in the passenger seat with the seat pulled all the way down.

maria took her her hands off her eyes and glanced behind her and then quickly at her surroundings. she wasn't at the hospital anymore, she was back with joel in a whole new car with ellie laying in the back. with her hospital gown.

"what?" ellie was the first one to talk, in shock.

"it's all right. you're with me. take it slow. the drugs are still wearin' off." joel informed looking at ellie through the rear mirror and putting a hand on maria head rubbing it softly helping her up as she put the seat to a sitting position.

ellie sat up but immediately regretted it laying back down. "i was with the fireflies and then- what drugs?"

"joel, what did they do to me?" maria whispered asked glancing down at her arms that had a equal amount of bandages. joel shifted uncomfortably on his seat and tighten his grip on the steering wheel.

"they were runnin' some tests on you, both of you, and some others." joel said nodding his head being clear about his next answer, "ellie, turns out there's a whole lot more like you. people that are immune. dozens of 'em. and the doctors, they couldn't make any of it work. they've actually - they've stopped lookin' for a cure."

ellie sighed deeply but maria was still waiting for her answer but joel never responded back not even giving her a spare glance. "where are my clothes?" ellie asked.

"raiders attacked the hospital. i barely got ya outta there." joel said and maria frowned her eyebrows, not remembering that part. before she became unconscious again, she remembers hearing joel asking where ellie and maria were before hearing a gun shot. maria opened her mouth to tell him but joel noticed and cut her off, "we'll get you guys some new clothes."

maria shut her mouth as fast as it was opened. maria now knows that joel is hiding something but not from her, from ellie. she just didn't know what.

"were people hurt?" ellie asked and joel had to pause momentarily before answering. "yes." he said. his mind flashing through the events with zero regret.

"is marlene okay?" ellie asked making maria blood boil at her name. maria never thought that marlene was going to practically turn against her, better yet use her. it'll only hurt more, is the only thing she could make out with marlenes voice.

maria wondered what marlenes plans were for her besides putting her to sleep every time she woke up and fought against them, almost actually hurting one of the doctors which was why they had to strap her down.

"i'm takin' us home." said joel. his heart sinking watching ellie close her eyes in disappointment and turning around in the seat. pulling her legs up as much as she can and holding her arms close to her chest.

maria sunk down onto her seat staring into them
view in front of them. the snowy mountains far but close to them, everyone you look at would be only the green trees that looked surreal.

"i'm sorry." joel said but he didn't sound sorry, not for his part. he saved what mattered the most to him and he wasn't sorry about it or regretted it. not one bit.

the second that they past the sign that read wyoming, maria fell asleep. but the second she went to sleep, the car broke down. maria didn't wake up when joel parked the car and went to go check the hood.

she woke up with a burning feeling on her face. her eyes flustered open and closed them back again with a smirk. "staring is rude, el." she whispered throwing an arm around her eyes but she could still feel ellie's piercing stare. "seriously."

"what did they do to you?" ellie asked and suddenly maria could feel her cold finger tips touching her arm skin, running it up and down the bandage that was slowly coming off. maria shivered underneath her touch, regretting getting a short sleeve instead of a long sleeve one.

"i don't know." maria responded back taking her arm off her eyes and locking eyes with ellie williams. "hey, when we get to wyoming do you want to help me with something?"

"uh, depends." ellie said sitting back on the drivers seat and giving maria a surprised look.

"it's nothing bad, el. just want to get rid of something." maria said shrugging her shoulders and looking out at joel who kept on cursing at himself. "do you think he knows what he's doing?"

ellie shook her head at this putting her lips in a tight line. she sat sideways on the seat now, her legs swinging off the chair and her hand going on her faded away bite mark. maria tilted her head sideways watching joel shut the hood.

"well, she got us close enough." joel said slamming the hood harshly. he examined the road up ahead to jackson, "we gotta walk the rest of the way. probably about a five-hour hike but we can manage that. remember?"

the first long hike that they all took together. joel leaned against door looking at ellie and maria. a wide smile appearing on both of the girls faces. maybe back then they didn't think much about it since it was just them traveling with a man who always has a serious face on and a woman who was there for him and her. but now, it meant so much now.

"yeah."

and with that ellie williams, joel miller and maria espinosa went on the road. maria at first was walking in front of them but she got tired and fell back behind with joel, who told her that she was going to get tired but never listened, and he gave her a 'i told you so' look which maria only waved him off.

ellie was walking besides maria a some point but fell behind, too in deep with her own thoughts. "you know, sarah and i used to home like this all the time." joel said both side of his lips tugging into a grin, "i wouldn't say it was her favorite thing. she wasn't a fan of the mosquitoes and such. she always walked in front wanting to get over with but always ended up falling behind getting tired."

"smart minds think alike." maria said shrugging her shoulders.

"anyways, she was a bit climber, or scampering. that's probably the right word. that girl, she'd see a big rock, and just," joel made a swoosh sound extending his arm out. "she woulda liked you. not to say the three of you are the same. had same characteristics but definitely different kids."

"how so?" ellie asked reaching her hand forward and gripping on the back of maria shirt pulling herself forward. maria made a few force pushes to get ellie up the mountain.

"well, she was a lot more, i wanna say girly. and i'm not sayin' that you're not girly." joel said quickly looking over at ellie.

"i'm not." ellie said smiling up at maria and then up at joel. "mar is more girly than me."

"yeah, true." joel said and maria nodded her head. she was more girlier than ellie in a few aspects, mostly on the way they dress but ellie also notices the different styles that maria likes so she was more of the in between. "so that. she was taller."

"damn." maria teased ellie who's face dropped. ellie brought her hand up and pushed sasha's shoulder. the red head girl giggling at ellie. they were the same height, maybe maria being one inch taller.

"she had a killer smile."

"damn." ellie mocked back at maria who side eyed her.

"no, i'm not saying that you don't." joel shot down the way that the two girls kept on reading each other back on forth with his words. "but you know why i think she'd like you two?"

"because we all enjoy calling you old?" maria asked stepping over a branch and almost tripping but ellie got a hold of her. "sorry."

"no, maybe, yeah." joel said chuckling, "but also 'cause you're funny. i think you would've made her laugh." he then looked away from ellie and over to maria his grin only widening, "and you, the way of speaking is similar. both sarcastic, don't take no for an answer, and always get what you want."

"so i'm not funny?" maria gasped still holding on ellie's arm, leaning against her and giving joel a pointed look.

joel didn't respond back to her causing ellie to snicker and maria to slap her gently in the arm. "anyway, i bet you guys would've liked her back."

"yeah, bet i would've." said ellie.

"of course i would, she sounds funner than you." after maria said that the five-hour hike turned into less than two hours. they were silent. he expected maria or ellie to talk at some point and just ask him questions as they always do but not even a single peep after their last conversation.

maria sighed deeply letting them warm breeze flowing through her hair and hit her face. her and ellie standing shoulder at shoulder, one letting mother nature warm her up and the other admiring mother nature.

"not much further now." said joel looking down at jacksonville from the hill. they were close to their forever home, they were close to tommy and maggie. they were close to getting away from the nightmare.

"hey, wait." ellie called out making joel stop an turn around. when joel turned around he saw that ellie ran her fingers down maria arm and intertwined their hands together. ellie pulled them both forward and stopped in front of joel.

"back in kansas city, you asked me about the first time i killed someone." ellie started off and joel was talen back by her statement and so was maria. ellie took a large pause, giving maria hand a squeeze. "when i got bit in the mall, it wasn't just maria and i. my best friend was there and she got bit, too. maria was the lucky one out of all of us. we didn't know what do do, and she says, 'we can just wait it out, be all poetic and just lose our minds together. even sasha could join.' and then she did and i had too- her name was riley and she was the first to die. and then it was tess. and then sam."

"that's not on you." joel snapped.

"i know, but-"

"look, sometimes things don't work out the way we hope. you can feel like-like you've come to and end and you don't know what to do next. but if you just keep goin'," joel said his words permanently staining ellie's brain, "you find something new to fight for. and maybe that's not what-"

"swear to me." ellie said cutting him off. she took in a deep breath, "swear to me that everything you said about the fireflies is true."

joel straightened his back, his eyes softening and his hands unclenching. "i swear."

"promise me, maria!" riley said raising her voice and handing the gun to maria who stood above them shaking her head, tears rapidly running down her eyes. "when i turn, kill me. i want you to kill me!"

"no! i won't-i won't do it. i can't-i won't." maria cried her knees bucking and kneeling besides riley who went on her knees and wrapped her arms tightly around maria. ellie in the background still breaking the glass with the bat, shouting furiously.

when the time came her finger flew above the trigger looking at riley in horror. riley snapped her head up towards sasha and launched herself to her, her snarls loudly and the only thing filling in the mind of riley was to attack and kill her. her only job was to kill, but she froze. she froze because she wasn't killing just anyone. she was killing riley. her best friend.

but before riley could attack maria, ellie grabbed the gun and shot riley. then suddenly, the world went quiet.

END OF SEASON ONE !

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

a.n -
sad to say this but act one is over😔😔
BUT
i really want to make a abby anderson
fic. so if i end up doing that imma
complete the book in act one and once i finish
the abby anderson book imma re continue this
book with act two - or maybe by then
they'll release the date and i'll see if i wanna either wait for season 2 who knows.

i also wanna say thank you for all
of you guys that took your time off your day
and read this book! it means the world to me 🫶🏽🫶🏽

stay safe ;)

choose one, help me yall

abby book or
continue this book?
or
joel miller.