SURVIVORS GUILT
୨⎯ chapter twenty-two ⎯୧

━━━━ maria wish someone would have told her all the shit she was going to go through during the past month. she wishes someone would have told her that the night with riley and ellie was going to change her life forever.

because of the events at the mall it lead ellie and maria to lend for themselves and try to survive on the outside by themselves. and because of that the fireflies captured them, marlene found ellie again and found the girl that one of the people she knew asked her to look for years ago.

then marlene got joel to take ellie and maria over to the fireflies hospital base because ellie can be the cure to save this apocalypse. leading to the 7-9 months worth of event.

maria finding her lost long older sister, tess getting infected along with ellie but only one of them surviving, joel and maggie realizing that maria and ellie can defend themselves with a weapon better than they've ever seen anyone during their years of living, meeting and helping sam and henry, loosing sam and henry, finding jacksonville, finding tommy, maria fainting, having her first kiss with ellie, having to choose between going to ellie or stay with her sister who's she grown to trust and love, choosing ellie and leaving with her and joel, going to the university where the fireflies were at but then fled, some men hurting joel, ellie and maria encountering david, escaping david.

and now, walking in the middle of ellie williams and joel miller. a bunch of tanks scattered around them along with tents. "was this a fedra thing?" asked ellie.

"no. army." joel said putting his hand on the thick string of his rifle and pulling it down, "they put these places up all around, the first few days after the outbreak. emergency medical camps. obviously didn't last. they had me in one just like this."

"with sarah?" ellie asked and for the first time in a while joel was able to hear her name coming out of ellie's mouth without feeling a sharp sting in his heart. maria was intrigued as well. during the months after leaving jackson, ellie informed her with sarah, joel's daughter. telling her a few things that maria managed to tell her that slipped out of her mouth.

"no, she was gone already." joel said.

"oh."

"so what was wrong with you?" maria asked and joel put his lips in a tight line.

"it was for this." joel said pointing up to the scar on his eyebrow.

"didnt maggie do that? she shot you when she first met you but missed." maria said with a teasing smile loving to hear the fact that that's how their love story began. "that should be part of your vows. i loved you since the day you shot and missed."

"one, i don't sound like that. and two, it was the second day." joel said and stopped walking but ellie and maria continued walking not feeling him or hearing him stop walking.

"well gotta hand it to the army. they were way better at stiching' you up than sash was." ellie said chuckling and dramatically let out an "ow," when maria slapped her on the arm.

"it was me." said joel and whatever giddy feeling that maria and ellie were feeling dropping, along with their heart. maria stopped walking and turned on her heel, ellie doing the same thing. "i was the guy who shot and missed."

joel swung the rifle off over his shoulder, placed it down on the ground and sitting down on the short wall besides him. ellie and maria also making their way towards him, they sat on each side of joel looking up at him.

"there's no story." joel gave them both a quick glance before tilting his head down to his feet kicking off a few pebble rocks. "sarah died, and i couldn't see the point anymore. simple as that. when maggie shot me and missed, i guess it brought something in me. i'm not saying it's her fault because it wasn't," joel whispered shaking his head over at sasha, "i thought that same day that maybe maggie shouldn't have missed and actually kill me. and i wasn't scared either, i was ready. i couldn't have been more ready."

maria's heart dropped to the pit of her stomach, she was glad and grateful that maggie missed and she was happy that joel wasn't successful with his attempt but just the thought that there was a possibility of joel not being in this world, for maria it seemed unreal.

but joel is human too, with feelings and not just a grumpy old man.

"then the second day i tried. and when i-" joel said bringing his finger up to the side of his head and sighed deeply, "when i," he took in a another deep breath, "went to pull the trigger, i flinched. still don't know why. anyway, the reason i'm telling you all this-"

"i know why you're tellin' us all this." ellie responded and joel nodded his head.

"yeah, i reckon you do." joel said and his hand gripped on the side of the concrete wall.

maria dropped her head on joel's arm and ellie thought deeply about it before saying, "so time heals all the wounds, i guess."

joel moved his lips around and looked up at the sky and then back down. "it wasn't time that did it." it was them. it was ellie, maria and maggie who healed him. who healed all of his wounds that were empty for years and although they will never replace sarah, because no one will ever be able to replace sarah, they were able to cure his broken heart. the heart that was once gone and beating only for survival.

"i'm glad that you flinched." maria whispered wrapping her arm around joel's and closing her eyes letting a tear drop from her right eye.

"i'm glad as well." ellie said gulping down the lump on her throat.

"me, too." joel said bringing his hand up his eyes and pressing on them, pushing down the tears back inside.

"we should probably get going." said ellie.

"yeah." joel said clearing his throat. maria moved away from him wiping roughly her own tears. she hopped off the wall picking up the rifle and handing it over to joel who waved her off, "you can hold it. for now."

"really?!" maria gasped and joel was going to play another trick on her telling her no but the happy expression on maria's face made it hard so he nodded his head. maria giggled pointing over at ellie who held a shock face, "ha, ha. i'm his favorite."

ellie huffed hopping off the wall as well. she mumbled something underneath her breath. joel chucked from behind them and caught up to them, "you know what i'm in the mood for?"

"what?"

"shitty puns." joel said and ellie looked like she's been waiting for joel to tell her that for months now. ellie smirked over at maria wiggling her eyebrows all whistle taking out the book.

ellie opened up to a random page and made sure joel and sasha were listening first, "people are making apocalypse jokes like there's no tomorrow." joel and maria gave ellie a flabbergasted look and once those words settled on the brain of ellie williams she looked over at them, "too soon?"

"no, it's topical."

ellie went back to reading the book and gasped loudly crouching down a little. "i love this one. moon rocks taste better than earth rocks. why?" joel hummed, "cause they're meteor."

"i don't get it." said maria letting out a dryly chuckle.

"there's nothing to get, it's terrible." joel said dissing off ellie's joke.

"fuck you. that was actually good. mar, you never get any of my jokes."

"that's a zero outta 10. let mariposa try one." joel said pointing over at sasha. ellie handed maria the book which she took gracefully and flipped through a few pages. then her eyes landed on the one she so vaguely remembers.

"what did the triangle say to the circle?" sasha said and ellie's eyes widen and a giddily look plastered on her face. "you're so pointless."

"3 out of 10." said joel.

maria gave him a fake offended look and put the book to her chest acting like she was hurt. joel only rolled her eyes at how dramatic she was being. "don't worry, mar, i give it a 10 out of 10." said ellie reaching her head in front of joel and maria grabbed it.

"thank you, thank you." maria said sniffing up. joel disconnected their hands in front of them. when they glared up at joel, the older man pretended like he was inspecting the area around him. while he was pretending his head tilted down to the ground behind them when he heard a rolling sound.

joel was able to move them a few feet away as the bomb exploded. maria landed harshly on the ground not being able to make up out any noises and when she tried opening up her eyes, it was all so blurry.

"ellie! maria!" she faintly heard before she was greeted by darkness, once again.

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

a.n -
two more chapters left
until the start of act two!

letting y'all know they're gonna go through
a roller coaster of pain. and maria is gonna
see something that'll cause her to go
off the edge more than ellie.

and there are going to be three acts
season one - act one
beginning of tlou 2 till the middle of it - act two
middle tlou 2 to the end - act three

then we're done w the book😞