SURVIVORS GUILT
୨⎯ chapter eleven ⎯୧

━━━━ being held by gun point was not part of her imaginary bucket list. holding a gun and shooting it at someone was but not the opposite. maria held her arms up in surrender as her and ellie were being held by gunpoint by a man who was standing between then.

"joel!" ellie shouted but the man wouldn't budge as he was in deep sleep. "maggie! maggie!"

the woman opened her eyes and was greeted by a little kid pointing a gun at her. maggie quickly scooted up and glanced over at the girls. "get the fuck away from them." maggie snarled as she woke joel up from his slumber.

when joel woke up he noticed first the girls before noticing the little boy. his eyes strained longer on him making the man nervous. "eyes on me. eyes on me." the man said not looking at maggie who intimidated him a little and looked over at joel who intimidated him even more than a maggie.

"you don't have to worry about what to say. we don't wanna hurt you. we wanna help you." the man said and maria looked at him a little. if they had better light everyone could see the way the man was sweating, his hand was shaking as he held the gun out towards ellie and her, his other trembling as much as his used hand.

"okay." joel whispered and maggie gave him a glare but joel shook his head at maggie and glanced up at the little boy. maria was amused about how less the boy was shaking, sure his gun hand was trembling slightly but he didn't question it and only kept on looking up at the man.

"okay, uh," he stuttered out shifting in his position, "i don't know what the next time is with something like that, but if i lower my gun, we didn't hurt you, so you don't hurt us, right?"

maggie went to open her mouth but joel was quick to cover it up with a, "that's right."

"that's a weird fuckin' tone, man." the man coaxed out and maria shook her head at him.

"no, no, no, that's just the way he sounds. he could say something sweet and it'll come out with that asshole tone." maria said and ellie nodded her head backing her up.

"yeah, he has an asshole voice. joel, tell him he's okay." ellie said looking at joel who was still laying down practically planning the way he was going to kill the man.

"everything is great."

maria sighed deeply and closed her eyes, while ellie breathed out a, "dude." at joel. maria balled up hand and threw her head back.

"fuck!" the man breathed out worriedly. maria turned her head around over to the man who looked like he was going to start hyperventilating. "okay. listen, i'm gonna trust you."

maria then watched as he signaled something over to the little boy. the boy signaled back to him. maggie being the only one who understood them since she took asl all throughout highschool.

the man nodded his head and said, "yes. but if either of you guys try something," he then pressed the gun to maria's head who was still looking at him. maria quickly turned her head around. ellie's eyes widen feeling hopeless as she couldn't do anything but kneel there and nod, "yeah?"

"can i sit up?" joel asked looking at the little boy who switched his gun placement quickly.

"yeah, slow. get up slow." he said and joel got up slowly with his arms up.

"who are you?" asked joel.

the unknown man gulped and looked over at the boy and then back over at maggie and joel, "my names henry. that's my brother, sam. i'm the most wanted man in kansas city. although right now," henry took a pause and lowered down the gun gently from maria feeling bad for doing that, "my guess is you're running a close second."

he isn't a bad person, maggie thought. she could read him clear as day. he's probably never fully hurt or killed anymore. maggie could see the way that he immediately regretted making ellie and maria feel like they weren't safe and in danger.

maggie has a feeling that whatever he has done was to protect his little brother. anything to protect family. "hey," maggie whispered waving her hand over to the little boy. she turned slowly her body over to sam and henry watched closely fearing deeply. are you hungry, she signaled to sam who's eyes widen.

sam looked down at his stomach and then up at henry. when henry didn't tell him what to respond back with, sam nodded his head. do you like cookies? sam nodded his head quickly.

"maggie, no." joel whispered harshly to maggie who waved him off. maria and ellie trusting maggie but at the same time still scared shitless.

"i'm going to stand up and give you guys something to eat." maggie said to henry, standing up and the older brother raising the gun at maggie who glared at him. maggie turned around over to same and stick her hand out. she nodded down at the gun and sam shook his head. maggie gave him an encouraging look and sam slowly handed the gun to maggie.

the woman threw the gun over at henry who caught it clumsily before shoving it down his pocket. let's go. maggie waved her hand at sam who followed behind her. joel glared at henry and nodded his head at maggie. henry quickly behind them.

"are you okay?" ellie asked maria who exhaled deeply the breath she was holding. maria nodded her head standing up from the cushions. "mariposa?"

"i'm okay, el." maria said smiling softly at ellie who stood up after her still giving her a worried look. maria glanced down at her hand and reached for it, "i'm serious."

when the two teenage girls reached the others, they were already sitting down. maggie passed sam and henry food and handed some to ellie and maria. "where'd you get these?" henry asked.

"from bill," said ellie.

"he's dead. him and his husband pulled a romeo and juliet." maria added on nodding her head. henry stopped midway and dropped his hand back down his lap. maggie crumbled up a piece of bread into a napkin and gave it to joel.

"what." joel muttered to maggie.

"come on, joel, be nice. we both know theyre harmless." maggie whispered lowly. joel snatched the bread from maggie who patted his arm and grinned gently at him. joel leaned forward, giving sam the piece of bread.

sam looked up at henry and passed something to him. "he says thank you. i'm guessing you don't have much, so, this means a lot."

"how old is he?" ellie asked lifting her head up from maria's head. maria had her arm wrapped around ellie and her head leaning against her arm as every now and then she would drift off. henry asked sam who brought his hand up.

"he's eight."

"cool," ellie said and pointed to herself, "i'm ellie."

henry signaled over to sam who made a face and nodded his head smiling at ellie who smiled back. maria looked over at maggie and whispered to her, "how do you do i'm sasha."

henry and sam watched closely as maggie showed maria about five minutes before sasha got it. "okay, okay, i'm," maria brought her hand up doing what maggie taught her. she then started to spell out her name maria, messing up a little bit but managed to do it. sam nodded in approve holding his thumbs up at maria.

"i'm maggie." the older woman said to henry and signaled over to sam. the little boy already having some sort to her since she was the one who offered and showed sympathy over them. maggie cleared her throat at joel who didn't catch the hint. "joel."

the grumpy man looked away from henry but then looked back at him, "i'm joel. look, you ate, we didn't kill each other, let's all this a win-win and move on."

henry finished chewing and dusted off his hands, "well, i'm betting, that y'all came up here to get a view of the city and plan a way out. and when the suns up, i'll show you one."

the adults talked about an escape and a way out of the city. joel still not trusting henry while maggie gave him a little trust to him. while they did that maria watched - admired - as ellie talked highly about a comic book that sam had.

they were there about an hour, the adults talking while ellie and maria formed a semi bond with sam - one that was more deeper than they thought - before they started heading to the túneles but first they had to go past the empty building leading down to the tunnels.

"this should be it." said henry bring the first one down the steps. henry shined his flashlight up at joel and maggie, "you ready?"

maggie straightened her back and said to ellie and sasha, "get you guns out and stick together with sam." maggie ordered as joel stepped forward and walked in front. maggie looked at maria longer and the girl nodded her head.

"you see? it's empty." said henry the deeper they went into the tunnel. "the plan is good."

"the plan is good?" mocked joel giving henry a glare, "we've been down here two seconds. we don't know anything."

"does it hurt to be positive for you?" maria asked joel with a frown in her eyebrows and shrugging her shoulders over at joel.

"your husbands kind of a pessimist." henry muttered over to maggie who chucked patting joel's back. "is he your dad?"

"he's not my dad."

"i'm not their dad." ellie, joel and maria all snapped at the same time over to henry who was taken back by their responses.

"she's my sister though." maria pointed out making henry nod his head, noticing a little bit of a resemblance in their eyes. maggie having more tan skin like and sasha being more pale. maggie taking after her dad and sasha taking after their mom.

"just point your light forward, and be ready to run." joel muttered continuing his walk down the tunnel. ellie made sure that maria was close to her along with sam. but sam was mostly walking with his brother, slightly behind.

maria stopped at some point and took a look around the tunnel falling behind the group. maggie noticed this and decided to fall behind as well whispering something to joel.

"everything alright?" maggie asked falling next to maria who spun back around. she was confused onto why they were all at least five feet away from her.

"uh, yeah." maria said nodding her head. despite them being with each other and knowing about each other for a few weeks now, the espinosas sisters haven't really talked to each witbout ellie and joel around. sasha felt awkward talking to her and quickly came up with something. "so, joels your husband?"

"what." maggie breathed out with a laugh looking down at maria who gave her a teasing look. "no, no he's not my-he's not my husband."

"boyfriend?" maria asked intrigued to know who joel was to her older sister besides a "good ol' friend." it didn't go past sasha the way that maggie's lips formed into a loving smile and the way she looked down in a flustered way. "oh my god, maggie, your blushing! maggie!"

maria started laughing at the way that maggie's face turned red. their flashlights being able to hold as much light as to see each others face. maggie scoffed but then glanced down at sasha and bumped shoulders with her, "what about you and ellie, huh? girlfriend?" maggie teased back the same way maria did to her.

"what!" maria's laugh died down and looked over at maggie in shock. "no, we're just friends. best friends."

"right, sure, of course because best friends obviously look at each other like that every five minutes. and don't get me started on how touchy you and ellie are, or those small glances. i was your age once you know." maggie said smirking at maria now that it's her turn to be all flustered and embarrassed.

the awkward atmosphere that was once surrounding the espinosas sisters now leaving, not completely but slowly. "i'll confess, if you confess." said maria.

"oh look, we're here." maggie dodged what maria suggested. maria shook her head at maggie who looked directly ahead as they all came into a stop. it was another room. filled with chalk paintings but it wasn't like those professional paintings sasha would see in books where they would be placed in museums, they were little kids work.

everyone inspected the small area by their own terms. sam then pointed on the door tugging onto maria's jacket who was closest to him and then henry's before walking forward. joel immediately put a hand on him shaking his head, "no."

henry pulled sam back gently and then looked up at ellie and maria, "can you guys please?" they already knew what he was asking so they nodded his head. henry's face relaxed and then walked in front with maggie and joel as they entered through the door.

sam reached for maria's hand and walked closer to her. maria was shocked at how cold his hands were. maria rubbed her thumb over his small hand that held gently onto her for a safety touch. the next room caught the attention of the three kids.

it was almost like a kids room. filled with toys, paintings on the wall of little kids continued, art stuff for them to do. books. "woah," maria breathed out when her eyes landed on the book shelf that held little kids book and higher books. her eyes then landed down to the toys chuckling a little when sam tugged gently on her hand pointing over to the car toys.

"i heard about places like this." joel said putting a hand on maggie's back who's face dropped at the sight of this room. bringing her back memories that she had long gone buried. "people went underground after outbreak day. built settlements."

"what happened to them?" asked ellie tapping on maria's shoulders and pointing up to the whiteboard that read, house rules.

"maybe they didn't follow the rules and they all got infected." joel said frowning his eyebrows deeply and trying to confort the woman who was going through hell at the moment looking at all the kids stuff in the room.

sam tugged on maria's hand harder and made her follow him over to the table. sam sat down on the table and maria sat down as well. sam started playing with one of the cars rolling it over to maria who rolled it back. then ellie arrived and sam passed it to her, only for ellie to "accidentally" throw it off the table.

"el," maria said smiling up at ellie who shrugged her shoulders innocently with a soft laugh and wide smile. sam gave her a fake shocked look but the large kid smile was there. sam soon got bored of the cars and looked down in between his chair and ellie.

maria watched as he picked up a comic book and ellie quickly crouched down to the ground, "no way! i love these." ellie then signaled to write something down and sam gave it to her. maria, with the smile still plastered on her face, leaning forward placing her head on her hand.

"i have issues four, five, six, 11." ellie said out loud to sasha but also wrote it down to sam. the little boy wrote down his and ellie nodded her head, "so cool. maria is boring and doesn't read comic book." ellie said and wrote down causing sam to laugh and look up at maria.

the brown head girl only shook her head leaning her head even more on her hand. henry walked by and grinned as he noticed the way his little brother was engaging with other people just 6 years older than him perfectly. he also noticed maria practically giving ellie googly eyes the entire time, but kept it to himself.

ellie leaned forward and said, "to the edge of the universe, and back," she was saying it slowly for sam to understand which he did since he started signaling it with his hands. ellie and sam looking intensely at each other. "endure and survive."

"endure," ellie copied his movement and whispered in a dramatic tone, "survive. endure. survive." ellie then at the last try and smiled widely, "fuck yeah, man!" ellie raised her hand up at sam and clapped their hands together. sam then reached over to maria who clapped it back with the same energy as ellie.

"hey, lower it down. we're not out yet." joel warned making ellie and maria quickly look over at him. he looked like he was doing some serious talk with maggie who turned her back on them and brought her hands up to her face.

"joel, seriously, does it really kill you let us have some fun?" maria scoffed and glanced back at sam who found a game on the floor. the pieces were all wooden and they had the word, jenga, carved on top.

"can we just rest here for a while? there's actually shit to do here." ellie said pointing to the table that with just so little things could entertain the kids till they are sleepy. joel then covered maggie with his body not wanting maria to notice her state at the moment.

"wouldn't be so bad to wait the light out a bit. safer in shadows when we pop back on the other side."