SURVIVORS GUILT
୨⎯ chapter seven ⎯୧

━━━━ after their latest encounter, the walk to bill and frank didn't feel that long. it took them about an hour to get to town and soon they reached the gate where joel put in the pin.

mariposa suggested jumping over the fence but then joel said, "unless you want to die of an electoral shock." and that made sasha take a huge step back letting joel do his work.

once joel opened up the gate they only had to walk a few miles until they reached the big white house. the second that they walked through the door sasha scrunched up her nose looking around the house.

"smells like dead fish." said maria.

"what the fuck, mari." said ellie looking over at maria who then inhaled deeply and coughed widely putting a hand over her mouth and kneeling.

"bill? frank?" joel called out waiting for footsteps or a voice but nothing. joel gave maggie a look which she understood and walked up the stairs while joel turned around towards ellie and sasha, "you stay there. ya hear anything, you see anything, yell."

"what if they're gone?" ellie asked but joel shook his head walking through the kitchen door leaving them alone. ellie rolled her eyes looking back at maria to had her nose pinched and breathing through her mouth.

"you sometimes concern me," ellie said to maria who walked past her choosing to not hear her, "seriously. maria don't touch that."

"el, did you know in my past life i was a professional pianist." said maria in a funny voice since her nose was being pinched together. maria took her fingers off her nose and made sure ellie was watching before pressing on a chord. surprisingly for the both of them, a beautiful sound came out of it.

"that's just luck." ellie said leaning on the wall with her arms crossed watching as maria pulled the bench out and sat down. ellie looked around the room and down the hall noticing maggie entering a room and quickly waving joel to come inside.

maria looked up at the paper on the stand and read the title. claire de lune. maria learned a thing or two about piano notes when, one day, riley decided it'll be a good idea to learn all of a sudden, since they were both out of their minds and they had just finished bothering ellie who was soundly asleep.

maria played the first few notes and when they came out perfectly okay she glanced over at ellie who held a shocked expression. ellie was admiring her. everything about her at the moment was admirable despite the fact that she was just annoyed/concerned about her a few minutes ago. it all went away.

"see, imma pro." maria said holding up an ok signal at ellie. maria then stood up pushing the bench back into place and walking over to the kitchen.

on the table she found two sets of everything. old wine glasses, plates ( with the rotten up fish sasha was smelling ) and forkes. maria was busy looking around that she didn't see when ellie walked back holding an envelope and a key.

at the same time as maria walked over to ellie who was already opening it up, maggie and joel reappeared. "it's from bill." ellie said to them all looking over at the envelope and picking it up, "to whomever, but probably joel." i figured we fell under "whomever." came with this."

joel put down his backpack reaching towards the table, for the keys. maggie dropped her backpack as well but instead of standing up she pulled the chair from across ellie and sat down. she leaned her head on her hands as she took in deep breaths.

"you okay?" maria whispered to her as she noticed the look of distraught on her face. maggie didn't pick up for her head but she nodded at maria. not that she was convinced but she wasn't going to ask any further.

joel gave ellie the go ahead for the letter. ellie leaned up on the chair giving the letter another run through before clearing her throat, "august 29, 2023. if you find this, please do not come into the bedroom."

maggie scoffed and said, "too late for that."

"we left a window open so the house wouldn't smell, but it will probably be a sight. i'm guessing you found this, joel, because anyone else would've been electrocuted or blown up by one of my traps. hehehehehehehehe."

"oh he has humor," maria sarcastically said smiling over at joel and maggie, "even on his suicide letter. lovely."

"shut up," ellie glared up at maria who glared back at her. ellie rolled her eyes and went back to her reading, "take anything you need. the bunker code is the same as the gate code but in reverse. anyway, i never liked you, but i love your wife and she forced us to be friends so it's like we're friends, but forced by a very mean hispanic woman. and i respect you. so, i'm gonna tell you something because you're probably the only person who will understand.

i used to hate the world and i was happy when everyone died. but i was wrong, because there was one person worth saving. that's what i did. i saved him. then i protected him. that's why men like you and me are here. we have a job to do, and god help any motherfuckers who stand in our way. i leave you all of my weapons and equipment. use them to keep-"

ellie went quiet as her eyes lingered on the name. joel snapped out of his own thoughts and grabbed the paper from ellie and read it. joel put a hand on maggie's shoulder, rubbing it softly before telling them to stay there and he walked outside.

while ellie glanced down as she fidgeted with her hand, maria wondered how far would she go for her. maria knows that ellie would risk herself to save sasha and sasha would do the same. but during the heat of the moment if their love, whatever type of love that is happening with them, is real - would maria do so much more than risk herself for ellie.

she wondered if the love she feels for the ponytail girl is strong enough for a decision like that. she wondered if the love she feels is mutal with ellie. her thoughts were cut short as joel walked back inside. maggie lifted her head from her hands and glanced up at joel.

"show me your arm." joel said and ellie nodded her head, quickly standing up in front of joel. she lifted up her jacket and shirt sleeve showing joel her bite marks that weren't changing or leaving. "i just finished makin' a truck battery. it's charging right now."

"okay."

"and i have a brother out in wyoming." as joel said maggie was already standing up from her chair and maria was rounding the table to stand in between them and next to maggie. "he's in some kinda trouble, and i'm heading out there to find him. he used to be a firefly. and my guess is he knows where some of them are out there. maybe they can get you to wherever this lab is."

"alright. listen, about tess." ellie said but joel shook his head holding his hand up stopping ellie.

"if i'm taking you with me, there's some rules you gotta follow. you too, mariposa." joel said pointing his finger between ellie and maria. "rule on, you don't bring up tess. ever. matter of fact we can just keep our histories to ourselves. rule two, you don't tell anyone about your condition. they see that bite mark, they won't think it through. they'll just shoot you. rule three, you do what i say when i say it. we clear?"

"yes." ellie and maria said quickly at the same time.

"repeat it." deadpanned joel.

"what you say goes."

"ho-ly shit." ellie breathed out taking the words out of marias mouth. bill was packed with weapons. "this guy was a genius."

"he's my idol." maria said reaching her hand towards the gun but before her hand could touch it, maggie swat it away giving her a stern look.

"why was the music on?" ellie asked joel who was looking at the computer.

"if he didn't reset the countdown every few weeks, this playlist would run over the radio." joel explained. ellie walked over to joel and peered over the desk, "80s" she said.

"grab some cans from over there. nothing dented or swollen. red go with her." joel instructed the teenage girls who's minds were focused more on the wall filled with guns than food.

"dude." ellie tried again and maria grabbed one of the guns. her lips turning into a wide smile. joel stood up and snatched it away from sasha putting it back where she grabbed it. "there's a wall of them."

the look that joel gave them said it all. maria groaned lazily walking up the stairs with ellie following behind. once the two girls reached the living room they started looking for supplies and stuffed them inside the green bag and some inside their backpacks.

maria found a pack of new toothbrushes and grabbed it shoving it inside of her backpack along with toothpaste. she also found floss and deodorant putting them in her backpack. sasha kept on grabbing some mini important stuff from the bathroom.

joel and maggie soon came back up earning weird looks from sasha as she noticed maggie's wrinkled shirt and joel's messy hair. maggie cleared her throat grabbing a bag and going inside the kitchen while joel checked the clothes taking out two boxes of clothes for them.

maria let go of the weird actions from the adults and started searching through the clothes until she found some she likes, as did ellie. ellie then pointed out about the warm water and how they all needed to shower, especially joel.

ellie went first. she took about 20 minutes, only showering her body and then sasha went in. maria took a bit longer, 30 minutes, as she had to wash her hair. once sasha was done she looked at herself a little while longer.

only now realizing how much her face has changed. she has heavy eye bags, the scratch on her cheek being already healed but visible. her vision luckily wasn't failing her due to the fact that she hasn't had any good sleep and has lack of vision with contacts or glasses. her lips were chapped and no matter how much she licked them they went back to chapped.

maria slipped into her new fresh clothes. a pair of black jeans that fit her a little loose on the legs but perfect on the waist. a black long sleeve shirt that sat perfectly loose on her body but it was short so she grabbed a brown flannel that fitted her large.

maria rolled up the sleeves up to her elbow. she then put on her socks along with her boots and sighed in satisfaction. maria opened up the mirror from the bathroom and just to her luck she found a chapstick.

"strawberry," maria read off applying it on her lips and unconsciously licking her lips tasting the strawberry. maria let out a childish giggle, "awesome."

maria got out of the bathroom and made her way over to the living room where she caught ellie holding a gun in her hand, inspecting it closely. sasha creeped behind her, quietly and slowly. maria then brought her hands up colliding them onto ellie's shoulder and screaming.

"oh fuck! maria!" ellie shouted and maria gasped dramatically at her as ellie turned around pointing the gun at maria. "you scared the shit out of me!"

"how dare you point a gun at me!" maria shouted back at ellie who rolled her eyes putting the gun back down. maria and ellie then locked eyes and there was only a second of pure silence before they burst into laughter.

as they laughed about both of their stupidity, ellie could help but let her eyes wonder around maria. specifically her face and hair. her smile as cliche as it sounds, lighting up something inside ellie. the way her eyes were squinted and her freckles were now truly visible. her hair getting tightly curled and bouncing around the same time as maria's laugh vibrated.

she's beautiful. ellie thought in her mind. she's always thought that about maria. it wasn't a surprise when riley confessed to ellie about her secret since she saw it. ellie saw the reason why anyone would fall for maria. because she's eternally beautiful, inside and out.

"are you goi-" maria couldn't finish her question as they heard heavy footsteps and another pair of small footsteps making their way to the living room. ellie's eyes widen quickly grabbing the gun and rushing to her backpack shoving it inside and zipping her backpack.

ellie then walked over to maria standing besides her as joel and maggie appeared in front of them. "well, don't you look like a pretty couple." ellie teased as joel had his hair slicked back, a fresh new outfit. maggie had her curls back as well and wide smile on her face with her arm hooked with joel.

"shut up." joel deadpanned throwing ellie and maria deodorant. maggie slapped him softly on the chest and seperated away from him.

"he's just shy." maggie said giggling at joel who gave her a warning look. maria and ellie made a disgusted look feeling like there was a whole different meaning behind that sentence. maria shook her head not really wanting that image of her sister and the man in her head.

the quartet then grabbed all of the bags and walked to the garage throwing them inside of the large compartment in the back. joel hopped in the passengers seat. ellie beat maggie and sasha to the passenger seat. the sisters having to sit in the back.

as soon as they got inside the car ellie started messing around with everything. she touched the rear mirrors along with the stuff in front of her. sasha smiled at ellie's behavior finding it cute and entertaining.

"it's your first time in a car?" joel asked ellie who held a small grin on her face.

"it's like a spaceship." she breathed out turning her head over to maria and showed her how excited she is. maria laughed and leaned forward giving the girl a nod.

"no, it's like a piece of shit chevy s10, but it'll get us there, i think." joel grumbled putting on his seatbelt and glanced at all three girls, "seatbelts."

ellie gave joel a confused look while maria gave maggie a confused look. maria only remembers bits of when she was in a car. those bits being of a screen in front of her or toys in front of her. maggie leaned forward pulling the seatbelt from the side of maria.

maria grabbed the thick silver seatbelt and glanced over at maggie who put hers on, clicking it on to a safety thing on the seats. maria then did the same thing and looked over at maggie for approval. maggie nodded her head causing maria to lean back against her seat.

joel started the truck and started making its way towards the gate. during that ellie found a tape and waved it in front of his face. "put it back. ellie." joel said in a warning tone but ellie didn't listen to him as she put it inside and a woman's soft voice with a gentle melody was heard through the truck.

"what is this?" maria asked leaning forward and leaning her head on ellie's seat since she was right behind her. ellie glanced down at her and then reached forward to take it off.

"no, leave it. leave it. this is good. this is linda ronstadt. do you know who linda ronstadt is?" joel asked to ellie and maria who gave him a annoyed look.

"you know we don't know who linda ronstadt is."

"of course you don't, because this guy is also a big hopeless romantic." maggie said leaning forward and wrapping her arms around the seat and placing them on joels chest. she leaned her head on his shoulder and patted his chest.

maria and ellie stiffed a laugh as joel hide his flustering face by looking down at the pad and pressing on the code to let them out. but when he lifted his head back up, the sun shined perfectly on his face showing his deeply flustered face.

"man, she's got you."

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

a.n -
short chapter only bc i would rather y'all have something better than nothing. also ngl i'm kinda stalling cause i'm getting closer to henry and sam and i'm not prepared. to see it again and have to write it.

nways i would love to know what y'all are thinking of the story so far!

also the second i finish this book i'm bringing back my joel fic which is about maggie and him.