I sat in the mud behind a large bush with Alex, Herc and Ben. I remember the first time I ever saw Alex, the person I was so deeply in love with.

I was on my chariot, wearing some sparkly green costume, waving at the crowd. Suddenly, I felt something smack my face. I looked around the chariots in front of me, and saw the one and only Marquis de Lafayette smirking at me. I raised an eyebrow, then grabbed a rose and tossed it back at him. Soon we where starting a rose fight, trying to keep it off camera, though.

Then I realized someone else joined in the rose fight, Hercules Mulligan. I smirked and we continued on, until the chariots reached the end of the large road and started to move in a circle. We ran out of ammo, but still cast funny looks at each other. 

Now it was either listen to President Snow give the welcoming speech, or stare at the TV showing all the tributes. I glared at the TV, it showed images of all the different tributes. Suddenly, the TV flashed over to a boy wearing fire colors, along with white and black.

He looked like a freaking fire pit.

but I couldn't help but gasp at how beautiful he was. The most handsome boy in my entire life stood on a chariot, looking like a fire pit. The TV flashed away to someone else, so I looked around the ring of chariots for the boy. I spotted him in the very back, district twelve. I stared at him dreamily. Everything was perfect, his ponytail, his face, his everything! I needed to get to know this boy.

Then there was the night when we where up on the roof together.

I rose up in the elevator, I needed to take a breather, trying to get this boy out of my head. Yet once the elevator reached the roof, I saw him, sitting near a tall fence, staring out at the city. I almost had a heart attack, he was so handsome. I spent about ten minutes thinking about what to say. Then finally I gave up and just walked up to him.

"Beautiful, isn't it," I said, walked towards him.

I had enjoyed talking to him so much. Although he did seem a bit non-happy, he was still to handsome to take my eyes off of him. He was also short, so insanely adorable. It had been so hard to contain my blushing- this guy was all to perfect. I swore then I would protect this little precious person for all my life.

Then way back in the training center, what felt like weeks ago.

He was sitting there, being adorable, his nose in a book. I stared at him the entire time, almost fainting when I caught a glimpse of his eyes. 

I might just be a bit obsessed with a boy I never met.

After a couple boys walked past my favorite little guy, Laf finally pushed me over towards him, obviously noticing I was going insane. I stumbled over to him, took a deep breath, and then bent down towards him. 

"Hey," I said, trying to breathe normally.

He kept reading, ignoring me. I don't know why, but I thought it was adorable. His face when he was annoyed with someone, it made my heart melt. He scrunched up his nose a bit, and tried to avoid eye contact. Oh this was to perfect.

"I'm talking to you," I said, trying to start a conversation.

He ignored me again. I took a deep breath, then sat down close to him. Alex's breathing increased a bit, and so did my heart rate, as I looked over his shoulder at the book he was reading.

"Hmm... Interesting," I said, not even actually reading it.

He was so adorable! And way to tempting to tease. He moved away from me, still staring at his book. I moved over towards him, and leaned over his shoulder. Trying to contain my laughter, and stop my heart from melting. Why is this boy, someone who obviously hates me, so amazing already?

Then he looked up and glared at me. His eyes where all too perfect- I would have gotten lost in them if he hadn't stood up and walked away. His face when he glared at me was perfect too, It was almost to hard to contain myself from shouting his name and fan-girling.

Then later, Lafayette pointed something out to me.

*

"John, give up, he obviously does not ant anything to do with us. Hes probably going to kill himself anyway, look," Laf said, pointing at his arm.

I gasped. There where small cuts on his wrist, some where scars, where some where fresh from probably a day or too.

"Oh my god, you poor human being, you must be really sad," I said, almost a whimper.

I bent down and touched his arm where the cuts are. This poor precious boy. I thought. He yanked his arm away from me, a look of sadness suddenly on his face. 

Maybe I could make his life better. I could make him smile- I could save him from anything harmful  to himself, I thought.

*

I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him as tightly as he could. I could feel he was increasing in heat. I needed to make him happy, and my best friend. maybe more. Then he pushed me away, avoiding my eyes.

"I-I thought you needed a hug," I said.

"John, come on, we need to actually go train. If you don't improve your spear-throwing by the end of this training session we need to have a serious talk about your devotion," Lafayette said in a fatherly way.

"No, I'd rather prefer to chill with this guy," I said, trying to make the vibe a bit happier.

"Can I join?" I heard a familiar voice, I glanced up to see Herc.

"Yeah! Hes really nice and talkative. Hes my new best friend, he said so," I said enthusiastically. If he didn't want to be my friend, it was time to use force. And the power of obnoxiousness I was born with.

"Have you ever seen him smile?" Herc asked.

"We should make him smile! Hes my new best friend after all," I said.

Then when I woke up in a cave, holding his hand.

I had fallen asleep, my hand in his, and he was asleep as well. I carefully let go, trying not to wake him. I really wanted to hold his hand longer, but Laf was giving me a look. I glared at him then walked outside.

And then recently, as he sat on guard duty outside our camp.

I walked from behind a bush to check on Alex. He was looking through the woods, a look of sadness on his face. I took a deep breath, then went to sit with him. Now, whenever I sat near him, my heart rate spiked and I turned a bit pink.

Alex heard me, and he sprang to his feet, a knife aimed at me.

"Woah buddy," I said, almost laughing a bit.

He gave me a strange look, then sat back down on the pine needles. I sat next to him. We stared out through the trees at the lake together. And then suddenly I felt his head lean on mine. My face grew bright pink.

"Good night," He said cutely, his face in my scarf.

"G-good night," I stuttered, he was to adorable to be true.

Then as he cried near the base of a rock, thunder booming overhead, rain pouring down on us.

It took all my courage to go and hug him. I rested my chin on his head, and murmured to him. He was such an adorable little thing, even when he was scared. Actually, especially when he was scared.

"Its okay," I murmured.

My heart had melted and I had felt like I was on fire.

And now, as we sat behind a bush with what was left of the team. He cried, nose in my scarf, my arms wrapped around him, sitting in the mud. I was curious about why he was so scared, but I wasn't going to ask him.

I was still shocked at Laf's death.

I ended up crying too, not as much as Herc though. Ben awkwardly tried to comfort him, but the loss of somewhere so close to him would never be something he could get over. Lafayette, the inspirational, self-less, hero that saved us all. He would always be remembered. I put my nose in Alex's soaking wet hair, and whispered to him.

"Its alright," I said, my voice cracking from my own sorrow.

Then a strong wind brushed past us, stronger then the rest so far. A tree nearby fell down with a huge crash. Alex whimpered and somehow snuggled closer to me, If I had a mirror right now, I would probably resemble a tomato. I tried to comfort the person I had fallen so hard in love with, but it was no use.

With me already crying, and the wind picking up, there was nothing I could do. I could only think of one thing that might possibly comfort him. I took a deep breath, and through my tears, the thunder, the thumping of my heart, and the wind, I whispered to him.

"I love you."