I have now killed two people in my life time.

There was a monstrous side in me, I know it. Not only I killed a monster-human, I killed someone else. Someone who deserved to live, someone who glares me from heaven. Cam doesn't know my true identity.  He only knows the good, from me wearing a mask to hide myself. And the good side is pitifully smaller than the bad.

The kill happened when I was a small six year old. I had a best friend Carolina Zhang. I was playing with her in a park located in the middle of our neighborhood. We played together since our moms' were best friends too. We were playing catch ball, chasing the ball like pups eager to snatch the round toy, while our parents were chit chatting inside the cool pavilion.

"I bet you can't catch this!" I have said throwing the round red ball to Carolina. She whined that she can and backed up to catch it. In books, people will think I have thrown it to a road and a car came by bad luck, and accidentally hit Carolina. But no. It was not an accident. I purposely did it.

Carlolina caught it, far away from the road. She said the same words I have said when throwing the ball. Carolina powerfully threw the ball high up in the air. It was too high for a short little girl like me to catch. It bounced on the metal bar of the swing bouncing straight to my forehead. Kids are sarcastic by every small pain. I cried and screeched at Carolina.

"Mommy Carolina hit me with the ball!" I cried out but it was too far for mom to hear. I was a crybaby from before to now, and an extreme crybaby. Instead of mom, Carolina patted to my side rolling her little black eyes.

"There aren't any blood. You'll be fine." I screeched again battling my legs to the wood chip ground the plastic sound rattling. I picked up the ball than threw it towards Carolina. My aim missed and it rolled over next to the road but inside the short stumpy concrete stopper. Carolina made a humph sound and ran to get the ball. I had a babyish stupid plan in my mind. I followed my friend.

Carolina squatted to retrieve the ball. She brushed off the small dust on it. Just before she stood, I aggressively pushed her hard, and Carolina was on the road. I have gave a nasty skin rip on her arm blood trickling down her arm. Carolina cried, and the tears must've blinded her sight. And without any warning, a truck came rumbling on the road from a curve. The driver had headphones, riding on the beat, and was not paying close attention to the road. 

But the corner was close enough for me to save Carolina. Instead of handing out my hand, I tucked it to my chest. The black tire rolled faster the black rubber quickly pushing itself from the ground. 

It ran half over Carolina, as she limped dead.

I stared in shock at what I have done and couldn't save. The young driver must've realized how strange it was for the left car tire to land on the weirdest bump. The driver came scrambling from his truck, than saw me crying, and a small girl half ran over. He had tears trickling in his tan young cheeks as he placed Carolina outside the road.

He called the police himself, and Carolina and my parents padded over hearing all the commotion. They burst out crying, not the happy emotional one, because of grief and the ugly way to die half ran over. The dead girl's mother crashed on her knees to Carolina's side grieving and could not bare to see her half ran over body. I was shocked that day. My mom comforted me and told what a tragedy it was. She patted my back, not knowing what really happened.

Police cars came. They asked the truck driver what happened. Thankfully he only received a light punishment according to my mom. I wondered if the driver did not receive any punishment because I felt like King Enzo wouldn't bother such a thing. It did not matter either way.

I was not asked what had  happened. I cried until no rainfall of tears came out and my mom hugged me tight. But I was not crying just because my best friend died, I was crying because I killed her. If I hadn't done that. I knew better. My parents always remind me never to push a friend to a road.

Skylar Suzuki, I, was a murderer.

I knew the death of Erysichthon had a different reason. But I still couldn't bare to see his limp body dead my ninja star carved on his body. My second kill, as I became a hidden murderer once more.

I did not deserve Cam's comfort. He held my hands. But I could not help wanting his gentle warm hands that slowly evaporated the curse of hiccups and tears. I felt more guilty to myself accepting what I have done. The thought crept me out.

Like the day of Carolina's 'accident', I finished crying since no more tears were left to fall.

I wanted to grieve and stay here. But life in the Island of Destiny was hard.

With a blink of an eye, new day arrived. A new fluff of snow was layered. Morning sunshine dazzled as I flinched my eye. Beside me, Cam stirred waking up and stretched his back. I did not know how I managed to sleep tonight.

"Ready to go down hill?" Cam asked easily with a grunt. His gentle brown skin gleamed by the sunshine. He burred at the cold air when he got out of his sleeping bag. I giggled and Cam opened his eyes wide for a moment then chuckled back. His smile was different from Harley's warm smile, but it was warm and comforting as any.

"Sure am." I replied back as I sniffed my nose. Cam laughed and bravely got out of his cozy sleeping bag. I lazily escaped from the warm paradise and quickly got my thick coat on. I tucked my hands in my oversized coat hiding like a snake slithering away to it's den scared.

Cam seemed to stare at me his gentle brown eyes gazing at me. When we met eyes, he gave an embarrassed blink and looked away. But in his breath, he sighed in relief. The caring boy must have been really worried about me. I have blushed and thanked him silently. His eye balls still turned to my way but looked back whenever we met eyes. I made a small snort.

It was indeed a peaceful morning. No monsters for now and the blizzard has ended. Blizzard, who chirped out of my background which seemed like her personal bedroom. She flapped her wings, and swiftly flew to my shoulders. She made a small delicate flap on my cheeks as her feathers brushed it gently. Blizzard tweeted cutely.

I widened my eyes fascinated. This young bird who was only two days old was capable of flying. I stared at Blizzard's strong wind beating wings and observed it closely. Blizzard tilted her round head confused. "Amazing—,"

I breathed mostly for myself. Cam blinked in confusion his brown eyes searching for answers. I touched the delicate fluffy feathers of the young bird. "Normally, birds can't fly until two to two months old. But Blizzard took her first flight in two days!"

Although only animal (or birds) lovers will only be fascinated by this fascinating discovery, Cam gave an easy blow of a smile. He reached his hand towards the snow white bird and patted it's head. Surprisingly, Blizzard made happy squeaking sounds. This small but powerful birds truly liked us.

After Cam released the fluffy texture of the bird, I reached for Blizzard's head. But the Ancient Bird's chick had more mysteries that I know. My smooth skin and Blizzard's feathers brushed: I froze. Dead silence. My eyes were far, deep, somewhere else. It was like a few yells were trying to reach when I was standing in unfathomable creek.

But one voice was heard. A speckle of light in the deep ocean where strange creatures swam. Not bright, but bright.

Master! Master!

"Skylar?" Cam asked worriedly. His two gentle hands were grasping on my shoulders. I placed my hand a stop signal informing that I was okay. I swam my eyes to the small mysterious owl. Was that Blizzard?

"You blanked out. I almost lost self control." He sighed of relief puffing a huge white smoke. I made a weak chuckle and scratched my cheeks along with an uneasy smile.

"Cam." My gaze turned serious. "Would you believe if I said Blizzard can use mind to mind communication?"

The boy blinked but shrugged. "If there's a yeti and a human eating maniac, why not a mind to mind?"

I giggled by his joke and patted Blizzard's head. She tweeted happily and sent another message. Burr. I assumed that since their little Ancient Bird was a baby, she can not speak many words. But gratefully, I have not blanked out the second time.

"Did Blizzard mind to mind communicate again?" Cam inquired curiously. I nodded and made a full smile. I scratched the bird's neck as it tweeted like a kitten giving a purr. "How come I don't get them?"

I raised both of my shoulders and slumped it down giving a dunno look. I honestly do not want to say anything bad about my crush, but people are just so interested in superpowers when they look so dull during animal facts. Without thinking I gave a small grunt to myself.

"Now Blizzard can talk to me." I squeaked happily like a baby bird (such as Blizzard) while scratching Blizzard's neck. The baby bird seemed not to enjoy this type of affection.

"Let's talk on the way though. We shouldn't waist sunlight." Cam stated as he started packing his stuff. He seemed to realize something and gave a frown. "And gather food."

Inside my mind, I gave a sigh to myself. But to keep the spirit up I joked, "And get your bed hair combed."

Surprisingly, Cam took my comment seriously and he let me comb his hair. When a small cluster brushes my skin, I felt weird. Not the bad weird, the good weird. Whatever weird that is.

We were all ready to go, we ate a light breakfast since we were short of food. Cam said not to worry because we can gather or catch some in the way. Inside, I wondered if that was true.

When we left, the snow was soft, a newborn snow. It was a clear day and the sky was winter pale blue. According to Cam, the sky where he started his journey on the beach was bright like Hawaii. Again, the Island of Destiny is unpredictable in many ways. My worry was fine and we gathered few berries and Cam even managed to catch a snow rabbit. (Although I preferred not eating them. Their cute) But softness was a threat here and saying sorry to the adorable bunny, I ate a small piece that was well cooked to keep my energy up.

"It's so amazing." I burst out. "Isn't it so amazing? So many animals in just a small space!"

The brown haired boy made a crooked smile trying to understand. I babbled,

"Animals are very different depending on where they live. Such as penguins! Most people think of penguins living in Antarctica, but these birds are capable of living more places. Such a the Humboldt Penguin! They live in Latin America on a dry land around Chile and Peru beside the ocean. They adapted really well and it's a shame that people think that way. Especially kids. I swear I see at least one kid feeling but for them because—oh sorry."

My crush blinked his head spinning in confusion. I blushed with embarrassment. Sometimes I love nature facts too much that I do embarrassing things. And it was in front of my CRUSH.

"No it's fine." Cam proffered to go on. "I never knew you like animals so much."

Hopefully that comment was in a good way. "No it's fine let's move on."

I looked away sheepishly. For the first time, Cam's gaze was like a stinging ing bee to me. That was very very embarrassing and I can't tell how much my face is burning!

"Really it's fine." The kind boy gestured to go on. "I want to know more about you."

He was so nice—I don't get why any girls didn't date him. To be honest our age is too young for that though. It looks to me that he has never had a—no I don't want to get my hopes up. It looks like he never dated anyone or held a girl's hand. Maybe except his sister Melody's though. I flinch of thought if I even deserve this perfect boy.

I hesitated for a moment but decided to blab on. I tried my best not to sound like a nerd, a bad impression you do not want your crush to have. I talked about how the science is mixed up here with so many temperatures and how there is so many plants. Cam even added a little joke that if there's monsters and a mind to mind communication superpower bird, anything was possible: this joke lit me up the fact he was actually listening. I even talked about snowy owls how they are so alive with Blizzard and my estimation what kind of prey our baby bird might eat.

Island of Destiny—I wondered why it wasn't called the Island of Death. Was there a meaning or just a coincidence? Questions buzzed in my head as science roamed around.

Suddenly, Cam stopped and grabbed my arm forcefully. He pulled me back and did a shush gesture. Confused, I let the boy take the role as he slowly tip toed on the crunchy snow. He stalked like a hungry tiger silently and carefully.

Than within a blink, Cam dashed towards a tree than swiftly sheath his sword than slashed it. I peeked over and saw a deer hopping away. The unsuccessful hunter clenched his teeth than unclenches making it a sigh.

"Cheer up. We'll find more in the way." I comforted but silently thought to myself if that was true. But Cam took my kindness and gave a slight nod.

My bad thought was correct and we never found any editable prey. We were hungry, my legs felt slump and my body felt numb. I felt like my breathing was harsh. I was pretty exaggerating, but I have never been hungry for my entire life.

Blizzard made a worrying squeak. I patted her wings gently. It felt like I walked forever. I wondered if I still had connections with my legs or if it slumped off.

"Want to rest?" Cam gasped his breaths harsh and unsteady. I gave a weak breath of agreement and leaned on the tree that fell like a boulder off a cliff. Not only the hunger, my feet also felt cold. It did not before we started our journey. I guessed that my travel mate has warmed it up for me and I silently thanked him. Otherwise I was actually going to freeze to death.

"How far now?" I was too tired to make the sentence clear. Each word felt like a waste of breath.

Cam gazed at downhill his eyes faraway. He drooped his head and murmured, "At least a day."

I dropped my head with him. I wondered if I was going to have the stamina to do that. Even if we were able to climb down, will we have the stamina to fight off monsters and find prey? Worry flooded inside me almost bubbling out of my mouth. "Are we going to live? Is hope—gone?"

I know, I was so negative. But the gravity forced me down, and I could not get up. Both my body and heart. Is there hope? Is there still a dream I had before I came?

"Skylar," Cam breathed weak. "We have to live. I want to see Melody's face, my family and friends. We're doing this to see them again. It feels and sound rubbish but have faith."

His words felt so powerful. His words were light from heaven. Glimmering stronger than sunlight, shining fiercer than the brightest stars, stretching farther than the galaxy. Faith. Five words. One syllable. A noun and verb. But why does it sound so powerful right now?

It was a word that is a North Star to me, my guide. Hunger briefly banished, pain faintly faded. Was this the strongness of love? No, it was the strength of words.

Movies and books have themes to teach many people. This was also a theme, but now I know. I want, I wish to have faith. But am I strong enough to have faith like the brave characters of a story?

"Okay." I replied and grasped my hand until the nails started to dig in. Blizzard gave a worried chirp and I smiled at her. "I can do this."

"Wow what a dramatic scene." A voice, Luna's voice grunted. "If you can waste your breath why don't you hunt?"

"Lu, Luna!" I gave an enthusiastic hug to her. The younger seemed surprised but accepted my hug and wrapped her arms to my waist. Her shoulders were not strong and bold than mind, a softness of a seven year old. I felt her age for the first time.

"Eat." The seven year old shoved my arms away and handed me a piece of meat wrapped with a cloth. I gladly took it gobbled it up vulgarity. My manners was gone when I saw the piece of food and Cam stared at me in awe when the meat was gone. Before I could polarize, a chubby hand handed him the same thing I was given.

"Here's yours." Harley handed it out to Cam with a sunshine smile I missed. The hungry boy ate the meat the same way I did his mouth smeared brown.

Luna caught my attention by her nudging me. "I'm sorry. I'm so scared of the Island of Destiny and to die." She spoke bitterly. "Will you forgive me?"

"Of course!" I gave a happy determined answer. "I am too. I don't know what we're going to face but I hope for the good."

Luna gave a grunt, not a disapproving one, an amused one.

"No time for chatty." Harley reminded. "We can't waste our breath. Let's get going."

"Without jumping trees to trees?" Cam joked. The three of them laughed and I remembered a time when my crush was complaining about how his butt was itching because of pain. It was still hard to believe they jumped trees to trees. I would never want to do that, and gave a shiver to myself.

"C'mon your shiver will be gone when we start moving." Luna snorted and lead the way. I wanted to complain it wasn't because of the code, though knew better to waste my precious breath.

It was still unbelievable that the strong survivors came back for us but I was glad they did. This company and smile boosted my energy. And I realized I saw Luna's smile for the first time. To me, it felt like I found a diamond in the mines instead of her smile. Blizzard was hiding in my backpack, wiggling. I decided to tell the two travelers later about the Ancient Bird's chick, now, I wanted to enjoy their come back

Survive 30 Days has reached 100 votes! Thank you to all who has been supporting—it's actually quite a miracle for me. I hope you will continue reading.

-Bee